I Have Alot of Peer Pressure

Anonymous said...
Hi, what do I do when I feel like I have alot of peer pressure?????

Trophy of Grace said...

I would say the first thing you may need to do is step back and reconsider who you’re hanging out with. Obviously those closest to you are trying to get you to do wrong or to participate in things that you do not feel comfortable with. Try talking with them and telling them that you feel pressured and uncomfortable with their influence regarding whatever the situation is. If the peer pressure continues then you may need to get away from whoever is causing the peer pressure.

King Solomon told his son, “My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!” (Proverbs 1:10) He tells his son not to go along with all the bad things that these so called ‘friends’ wanted to do. He advised him to stay far away from their paths. (Proverbs 1:15, 4:14) Therefore I too must advise the same. Stay far away from anything or anyone that will cause you to sin. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22, 1 Timothy 6:11)

You have to choose your friends wisely. Do not be deceived evil company corrupts good habits. (1 Corinthians 16:33) Our circle of friends can influence us. You want to have wise friends who love and long to please the Lord. If your friends are wise men then you too will be wise. But if your companions are fools who do not fear the Lord you may be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20) You could get into trouble just for hanging out with them, being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Be sure that your closest friends are those who will be an encouragement to you. They will be there to lift you up not to tear you down. (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

I was reading an article from Brio Magazine online about picking friends. I like what it had to say about what to look for. Here’s a clip from the article:

From the article 'Call Me!' By Mark Matlock

What To Look For

To see if someone has the qualities of a true friend, look for words, actions, reaction and direction. These are often the more obvious clues to uncovering the more subtle qualities of loyalty, honesty, forgiveness and realism.

Words. Listen to what people talk about. Do they talk at all about seeking God and His kingdom, or are they obsessed with pleasure, approval, power, status and things? Does their humor destroy or build up people? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself repeating a phrase or joke I heard from another friend. Do you want to be heard talking like those you hang around with.

Actions. Some people say the right things but don’t back up their words through their actions. This can be especially true at Christian universities. A person’s behavior tells more about his values and convictions than his words do, so take notice of what people do, where they go and how they handle responsibilities.

Reactions. Watch for people’s reactions to success and failure, to joys and disappointments. If a person quickly gets angry at small problems, steer clear. On the other hand, you’ll see wisdom in those who pray for needs, care about others’ hurts, listen well and stand strong on their convictions.

Please pray and consider the influence that your friends are having on you. It may be time to sever these relationships and ask the Lord to bring you godly friendships, ones that will glorify Him and encourage as well as edify you. I will be praying for you too.

Too Much Emotional Drama

MySpace Friend writes..

Its been a while since i asked for advice ... but i am only a teenager.. i cant help it ... i have a problem that every teenager deals with and its hard to rid of.. but i am trying and i dont know where ...or how to start..so i need help... I used to be so centered around God about 3 years ago ... i havent let go... but i have fallen back some steps and its hard to catch up ... but my problem is ... that i bring- cause alot of drama between myself and world... not physically emotionally its taking its toll on me.. i am only 19 years old... and i kno i am not alone in this ... the smallest things cause me to have a total emotional break.. not crazy is what i keep telling my self and i have lots of love and suport of my family ... they give me the advice to just live and get over it .... stop worrying .. things are gonna happen according to God anyways mine as well live for now... my mind set is alway future.. which causes me stress/ and always getting panic attacks ... its starting tho to affect this Man i am in love with ... he cant emotionally take what i dish out .. it over rides all my Good and potiential and it stresses me out but according to him ... he still loves me no matter what ...lol even if he has to put me in a padded room ...jk but still its something i am not sure how to deal with .. i am very open to ppl .. but they are so closed... to all my drama cuz i have so much of it EMOTIONALLY not physically i wouldnt ever openly display this emotion .... i want to rid all the bad and negative i have ... its just i have gotten mixed up in all the wrong crowds i am finding my way out of these accustoms i developed not even knowing that who i was becoming ... i know this must make me sound like a bad person... but i dont want to lose all thats good and that i have ... and my emotions are about draining me and everyone around me ... I need help ... i dont wants shrinks or anything that crazy ... Cuz i am not crazy i just want advice on how to deal with this like every other teenager ... BECAUSE ITS HARD LIVING THE LIFE OF A TEENAGER ....

many thanks :
hopefully you can help me unstress my emotional attachment to all the things that makes it hard

Trophy of Grace replies..

We are here to help you sister. We know its hard being a teenager and that’s why we started this ministry to reach out and help whoever was willing to ask. You can come to us any time you want. It is our pleasure to serve you. We are glad that you have come back.

Let me immediately encourage you by telling you that Jesus loves you so much. He has not left you or forsaken you in anyway. Our heavenly Father has been waiting for you to come home. He says, “Return, my backslidden child, And I will heal your backslidings. I will love you freely, For my anger has turned away from you. Remember therefore from where you have fallen and repent. My kindness to you is meant to lead you to repentance” (Jeremiah 3:22, Hosea 14:4, Revelation 2:4-5, Romans 2:4-6)

Everything that you are saying regarding your emotional condition, stress level, and your choices in friends/associates I believe is a result of pulling away from the Lord and His will for your life. You are producing negative results and bad fruit in your life. It is affecting you and others all around you. You need to find peace and joy again. You have to come back to God. In Him is the fullness of joy. Praying and reading the Word will bring you the peace you so desire.

If you will repent and turn back to the Lord He will heal your mind. His Word will renew your mind. He does not want to you to be conformed to this world thinking and acting like the ungodly. You are a child of the Most High God and should live your life pleasing to Him. This is the least that we can do after all He has done for us.

The medicine you need is the Word of God. If you will meditate on it instead of the thoughts of stress and worry you will find freedom and peace. Worry and anxiety will open the door to the spirit of fear to come in and torment you. You have to resist worry and learn to trust in the Lord with all of your heart, leaning not on your own understanding. If you will acknowledge Him and seek Him and His way in all areas of your life He will be faithful to direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

If you know that you have made unhealthy or bad friendships then get away from these people. Ask the Lord to help you find friendships that will glorify Him and that will help you stay close to Him. Get back to church and get involved in your youth group. You need accountability from other believers. You may want to seek counsel from one of your local youth leaders or pastors. That is what the body of Christ is here for.
I leave you with these scriptures. Please meditate on them and do not ignore my counsel. The Lord is calling you back. Don’t ignore Him. He wants to do mighty things in your life if you will only trust Him with your mind and heart. Allow Him to make all of your crooked paths straight. You will see Him do a new thing in your life.

God bless you sister..

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

“I will hear what God the Lord will speak, For He will speak peace To His people and to His saints; But let them not turn back to folly.” Psalm 85:8

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4

“For the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

In Christ Love,

Trophy of Grace

I Like A Guy Who Is Already In A Relationship

Anonymous said...

I recently have come to the realization that I like a guy who already is in a relationship. I hate being in this situation and would never dream of trying to get in between him and his girlfriend, however I am really struggling because the more I am around him, the more I like him. He is just one of the sweetest boys I have ever met. Its hard because we go to the same college, while his girlfriend (of 2 1/2 years) goes to another college and he commutes most weekends to see her.

I want to handle this in a godly way and have even tried praying that their relationship be blessed, but the more time goes by, the more I fall for him. How can I glorify God in this situation?

Trophy of Grace replies...

My dear sister the answer to your dilemma is found in your question. The more that you are around him, the more that you like him. You are seeing how committed he is to his girlfriend. It is commendable what he is doing driving every weekend to see her. That is very sweet and attractive. He sounds like a good guy.

My advice to you is to get away from him…

“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptations. The spirit is indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:21

"You shall not covet (To wish for longingly) your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Exodus 20:17

Being around him is causing you to meditate on what it would be like to be with him. The only option as this point I believe is to stay away from him and respect the relationship he has with his girlfriend. If you do not get away from this relationship you will most certainly fall into sin. You are already seeing the warning signs.

Draw closer to the Lord and He will draw closer to you. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure. It is your choice to take the way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

You can glorify God by doing what His Word says and run from anything that would cause you temptation and to fall into sin.

I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

Letting Her Down Easy

Anonymous said...
I have an urgent question. My three friends and I decided to sing in church, something we have been hoping to do for a long time. Our youth leader gave us a week to practice a song. We realized we were pretty good except for one thing, the girl who is most enthusiastic and excited about it is also tone-deaf-she can't not sing at all and has never had any singing experience. She does not understand it and sings the loudest and makes us sound terrible. We are supposed to sing in two days, and we need to let her know gently somehow (that we would like her out). She is a long time friend but gets mad easily. What should we do?

Trophy of Grace said...

O man..I feel so bad for all of you. You must feel so torn. The very first thing I would do is get on my face, literally, before our Lord and ask Him to give me wisdom on how to handle the situation.

I’m not sure if you are trying to form a group or if you’re trying out for the choir. I guess if your trying out for the choir then wouldn’t that be on the youth leader or choir leader to decide who makes it on the choir?

If you are forming a group then her ability to be able to carry her tune would most definitely affect your music.

Either way, you have to talk to your friend. It will not be easy. Pray that our Lord prepare her heart to receive what you have to say and may He give you the words to speak in love. Be sensitive and understanding.

Maybe you should try recording yourselves and playing it back for all of you to hear. Perhaps she will hear herself and decide to step down.

I wish I could be more helpful bu the truth is that there is not going to be an easy way to tell your friend that you would like her to stand down.

Let me pray for you all..

Dear Heavenly Father,Lord you see this situation and how it troubles these girls. Please comfort their hearts and minds. Give them wisdom and direction to handle this situation correctly. They do not want to hurt their long time friend but they want to do well in this audition. If their friend is truly not a good singer and not meant to be part of the group as a vocalist then may they use the correct words to tell their friend. Let their friend receive their words without flying off the handle. Let your will be done..In Jesus name..amen.

Friendship

Written by Blessed and Highly Favored

Commitment: The act of pledging, the process of or engaging oneself; entrusting as for safekeeping.

Convenience: Absence of that which annoys; personal wellbeing; that which gives ease or comfort or makes work less difficult and complicated; a condition personally favorable or suitable; advantage.

In my life, I can count on one hand many true friends I’ve had. Friends who really love me, who would be willing to do most anything for me, and who always tell me the truth despite how much it might hurt. Those people know how to make a commitment.

The term “friend” is a word thrown around a lot. “Friend” could mean a guy you’ve been dating but you don’t want your parents or other pals to start asking questions (no sense in letting the whole world know your business, right?) “Friend” could mean starting up a relationship with a girl you’ve just met. “Friend” could mean someone you’ve known for a long time, but you mainly hang out to keep from getting bored, in a casual, I’ve-got-nothing-else-to-do attitude.

Now those “friends” (the ones who keep you from being bored) will tell you what you want to hear and WILL drop you like a bad habit if something else better comes along. You don’t mean anything to them. What you are, are ACQUAINTANCES. You may have common interests, the same likes/dislikes, but the relationship never gets any deeper than surface, unimportant chatter. Sometimes we sacrifice deeper relationships for shallow ones because you can have a lot of “friends” (lots of friends=popularity, right? And we all want to be popular?) As if the greater number of people you know means they all like you? Not!

God shows us how to be friends to one another, how to have deeper friendships. One example is found in 1 Samuel 18 between Jonathon, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, and David, the second king of Israel. The relationship between Jonathon and David was one of deep respect, love and admiration. They loved each other closer than brothers. Jonathon protected David when Jonathon’s father, Saul, continually tried to kill David. However, despite Saul’s attempts, David still had reverence for Saul, not only as King, but as the father of his best friend. When Saul and Jonathon and the other sons were killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they were stripped, beheaded and fastened to a wall in Beth Shan. When David was given this news, he was in mournful agony and ordered that their bodies be removed from such desecration and be buried with dignity and respect entitled to a king and his family.

In our relationships with each other, take an inventory of your “friends;” Are they commitments or conveniences? Think about it. Do you make plans with someone, and then change them at a moments notice and always expect them to “understand because they are your friend?” Do you “forget” to include them for certain events because other people might not like them, and your association with them might not get you invited to other “cool” events? Do you plan to do something special with them, and then decide to invite others along without bothering to ask if it would be all right? Then if they said no, it’s not all right; would you get all upset and pout, and wonder what the big deal was? Do you ever so slightly shade the truth with them (lie) so that you don’t look like the bad guy? Are you spending time with them because it’s an excuse to get out of the house and go somewhere?

Sorry, you are treating those people like conveniences, under the guise of being a “friend” and going through the motions. In fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what being a friend is all about. Actually, you’re the fraud, pretending to care about someone, but treating them like a disposable diaper.

Commitment as a friend requires you think about them first, rather than yourself. To cherish them and to honor their heart. That is what binds friends together through thick and thin. You can depend on them; open your heart, and share thoughts, dreams and desires in the safety of that relationship. Honesty must be the cornerstone. To lie and deceive is about selfishness and the first blow of destruction.

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.”

Proverbs 27:9, “Oil and perfume make glad the heart and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.”

Proverbs 27:16, “He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.”

Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so a man makes sharp his friend.”

So if you go changing the deck chairs of your personal relationships, it’s important to be gracious and congenial to people who you have moved to the outer edges of your heart. It gives them a clue that the relationship has changed and allows them the decision to continue to invest themselves in you or to be satisfied with the shift or to simply move on to other more meaningful relationships. To do otherwise is cruel and speaks volumes to your lack of character.

Allow time to cultivate friendships: They can last a lifetime if you’re willing to count them on one hand.

A Prayer For A Friend

MySpace Friend's Comment on 7th Grade Boy Problems & Pregnant at 12:

Yes her parents did allow this because of the fact that her parents got married when they were young!

Most of the guys and girls at my school are exposed to a lot of drug uses @ there own house.

Well this is the last week of school until winter break and we haven't been to school AT all this week but we went a half a day on Monday and haven't been since and doubt if we will have school this week at all but to get to the point these guys across from my lunch table but we have booths they had brought marker(s) to lunch and were getting high off this. It was kind of depressing because some of the guys are my friends and it was sad.

I actually used to like one of these guys but I don't want a boyfriend that isn't a Christian and does drugs it's just to much for the average teen-age girl to handle except the fact that I'm not average I'm not normal I'm peculiar I'm a Christian and I can't do some of the things that most teenagers can.

The only dances I'll be able to go to are Prom either my Junior and senior *if someone asks me that is* but as women in Christ help me pray for the schools systems of the United States. ~Thank you

Trophy of Grace’s prayer for our friend:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you in Jesus' name. You see my young sister's heart here. I ask that you give her strength and courage to be a light in the darkness. You have allowed her to go to the school that she is attending right now for such as time as this. I know you want to use her right where she is at to encourage other children and to be an example to others. She is different than the other children. She is not only your creation but she is your child. Help Lord... Comfort her with your Word. Give her a desire to draw closer to you and to read your Word daily. We know that your Word will be a light to her feet. Give her the Words to speak to her friends and associates. Let it be Words of Love and inspiration. I know that you have a mighty plan for her life..give her a vision and dream that she can hold on to. Remind her always that you are with her every day no matter what happens. Increase her faith and confidence in You.

In Jesus' name... Amen



PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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Thankful

Cross posting from Saved by Faith [blog site]

THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.


FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.


FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE


FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.


FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE PLENTY OF CLOTHES TO WEAR.


FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.


FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE!!!.

I Want Her To Be Saved & Not Left Behind

Jesus Girl says... Hey girls! How are u? Anyway I have to ask u something. I have this friend, she is not a Christian and she drinks and smokes and I have been trying to invite her to church and activites from my youth group but everytime I ask her she never wants to come. She always hangs out with her other friends but not me. I am praying for her and her salvation and I know I can't change people only Jesus can but I do want her to know Jesus Christ. Anyways what do I do to show her who Jesus Christ is because I want to bring her to Christ and I want her to be saved and not left behind when Jesus comes back. Please tell me what to do. Thanks girls..GOD BLESS U!

Response... You are definitely doing the right thing. Don’t give up on her.

Galatians 6:9 “ So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

Continue to love on her and let her know that you are there for her. Be patient and loving. You may have to give her space and let God draw her to you, if that be His will. Never stop praying and intercede for her.

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

Don’t worry about her not listening to you or not wanting to hang with you. If she refuses to listen when you talk to her about the Lord, she will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly life will speak to her better than any words. (1 Peter 3:1)

Keep up the good work and be encouraged your friend will be saved. I believe it! I will come into agreement with you now.

Heavenly Father,

We come before you in Jesus name. You see my sister’s heart for this young friend of hers. She desires to see her saved before the rapture of the church. Your Word says that you give us the desires of heart and it also says that it is not your will that any should perish. We do not want this young girl to perish in her sin and disobedience. Please draw her close to you. Lead her to the cross and to your Son Jesus Christ. We believe that what ask you will give us because we asked in your Son’s name and because you love this girl just like you love us. We look forward to the day when we hear that she has surrendered her life to you. We thank you in advance and give you all the glory.

In Jesus name we pray,

Amen.

Trophy of Grace

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How Do I Tell Them To Back Down?

Taylor Hale wrote... Hi. I'm almost 15, and there's this guy that I really like, and he's my best friend, but I also know that he likes me too. I don't have a problem with us not going out, but our friends do. It just gets kind of annoying. How do I tell them to back down?

Trophy of Grace answered... Taylor, I think you just need to go ahead and tell them just like that. “I need you guys to please back down”. Let them know that you don’t need the extra pressure from them and that it bothers you. When the time is right if it’s meant for you two end up together you will. However, that decision is one that should be made after prayerful consideration. If this young man is your best friend sometimes it can complicate the friendship when you decide to change each other’s title to girlfriend or boyfriend.

I think you're doing the right thing by being close friends first. If eventually you do end up together then your relationship has a better foundation then a lot of others. Take your time though. There is no reason to rush your life. Relationships are a lot of commitment. This is a time where you are learning to discover who you are and where you want to go in life. Now is when you should seek God’s face and ask Him what His will for your life is.

One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5-6. It says, “ Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God’s will is always best for us because He has good plans for our lives, so we can trust Him.

I will be praying and your friends.

God bless you!

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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My Friends Want To Commit Suicide. HELP!

A Worried Friend Wrote: OK HERE IT GOES... YESTERDAY I WAS TALKING TO ONE OF MY FRIEDNS WHO IS A GUY AND HE IS 20... HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE THEN LATER THAT NIGHT I WAS TALKING TO MY EX WHO IS MY AGE & HE SAID THAT HE WAS CLOSE TO COMMITTING SUICDE THIS WEEKEND BUT HIS COUSIN STOPPED HIM BUT HE WAS STILL THINKING ABOUT IT... I BEGGED BOTH OF THEM NOT TO BUT THEY BOTH SEEMED PRETTY SET ON DOING IT....

WHAT DO I DO?!?!
I DONT WANT TO LOSE 2 OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS!!!!

Response: Jesus said,"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full - John 10:10

The enemy is trying to destroy your friends. He is attacking their minds and emotions. Your friends may want to give up because they do not realize that God has a plan for their lives.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."

Suicide is a very serious matter. I would suggest if you haven't already, check up on your friends to confirm that they have not followed through with a suicide attempt. Your friends seem to be suffering from poor emotional health and may be having problems coping with life events. They need intervention.

You should immediately speak to one of their family members or tell someone close to them that will help them seek counsel from a doctor. Here is a national suicide hotline that you or friends can call toll free/24 hours/7 days a week. 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255.
However, before you do anything pray and intercede on behalf of your friends. Ask God to help you make the right decision and lead you to the right person to talk to on their behalf. Ask Him to give you the words to speak to both your friends and the people that you are seeking help from.

Do not try to carry this burden on your own. If your friends told you that they are thinking of committing suicide then there is still hope, because they told you. It may be their cry for help. So pray for God's guidance and wisdom while you seek help from family members and professionals.
You and your friends are in our prayers. Please keep us posted. God bless you.

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Flirting Friends

MySpace Conversation: I have a crush on this guy since the sixth grade. He don’t know to this day..lol Since I moved away, most of my friends from my old school lost contact with me so four years passed, I saw him one day in senior day event on college campus. We talked and stuff like. We find out that we going to the same college together I was excited because I have someone I know I can talk to and hang out with so everything going good. We hang out sometimes but when I around him I feel like he flirty with me kind of but not too flirty like most guys do with a female. We are good friends. Idk..what that means or it just a guy thing to all females?

WeUsed2BU Repsponse: Hi. its always nice running into old friends, familiar faces. The funny feeling you're experiencing is good chemistry. It seems there's an attraction between the two of you and that's where the innocent flirting comes into play.but it could be just that, innocent flirting.

Enjoy the frienship.you both know each other fairly well and now have a chance to fill in the blanks from the time you lost contact. if he's truly interested he'll approach you.

Saved By Faith


MySpacer Replied: innocent flirting...lol :) I never think of that..i mean like all guys flirt but not in a bad way..lol :) u right..if he like me that way, he should ask me then..lol thanks lot

I have another friend who did like me but the distance was far but we became good, close friends. We talk online everyday when he out of class..lol he in college too , but this one I didn't know him at the time..lol


WeUsed2BU Response: yeah, long distance relationships are very difficult but they could result in a close friendship, like you & your other friend have. I have a long distance friend that started out the same way as yours, and we are very good friends now. :) No matter how the friendship develops, it's wonderful to have good people in your life. Reliable, caring friends are a blessing. And giving that kind of friendship back to them is just as rewarding! :)

Saved By Faith


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Everyone Says I Shouldn't Be Friends With Her

Anonymous said...
I have this friend that everyone says i shouldnt be friends with cuz she makes my attitude alot worse nd i sneek around and lie to my parents all the time cuz her.She also tells me what to do and if i dont she yells at me.Should i stop being her friend??

Answer..It sounds like this girl is not a good influence on you. The people closest to you are telling you to leave this girl alone because they see that she is a negative influence on you. They do not want to see you hanging out with the wrong people.

Besides that you see for yourself that she is leading you down the wrong path. She is encouraging you to lie to your parents and sneak around..plus she yells at you when you don't do what she tells you. That's horrible. That does not sound like any friend to me. She sounds like a bully.

I would say get away from her. Stop hanging with this girl. You are in great danger..She is teaching you or influencing you to dishonor your parents. I wonder what else she may be trying to get you to do?

God has commanded us to honor our father and mother. It is the fifth commandment in the bible. “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

Look at these other scriptures...

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” this is the first commandment with a promise: (Ephesians 6:1-2)

Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)

Cut this friend lose and if you are not already, start praying for this young lady to change her ways before she finds herself in serious trouble.

For the future I strongly recommend that you choose your friends more wisely. Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

You both will be in my prayers.

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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After School Started She Changed

Anonymous asks..hey well i have a friend.every time she iz around me she acts like goofy old me.but when she goes around othes girls she tries 2 act all cool.i noe that sometimes she get a little jealous of me because most of the boys like but that doesnt really matter.but any ways.this past summer we were always 2gether,but after school started she just changed.in the hall ways she doesnt say anything 2 me.but when were at my house she could talk up a storm.i just want a friend that iz a friend around me AND around other people.

Answer..I can imagine how hurt you must feel. I think the best thing to do is to talk to your friend about how you are feeling. That is the only way that the situation can be resolved. Before you go and talk to her pray and ask for God to give you the words to speak and also ask that her heart be prepared to receive what you have to say.

If she continues to act indifferent when you are at school then you may need to give her some space. Try not to take it personal. Your friend may just be trying to find herself and her own direction. I have learned that friends come and go. Some are just for a short season and others are for a life time.

If this friendship has served its course then thank God for the time that you have had together and keep your friend in your prayers. Then ask God to send you new friends that love Him and will love you too.

I will be praying for both you and your friend.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace


PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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He's Dating 2 of My Friends

Helplessindahill wrote... Ok so i have this friend,best friend, and she was talking to me on the phone. We were planning to go see Batman this friday. Ne way she says "u kno i GO OUT with _______ now?" I was kind of bothered by this because this guy also goes out with my god sister.(my friend doesn't know about her) I had just seen them 2gether the day b4. B4 he got saved and started playing drums and keyboard for my church, he was known to be a player...my question is should i say ne thing to ne body or should i jus sit back and watch him play my god sister like that. She really REALLY likes him and has given up an education at a very well known HBCU in order to stay home closer to him, and he's tryin to go back to his old ways and play her. I want to kno what to do because my old self would of just put him on BLAST so every one would kno what he was doin. But now that i'm saved, i dk how 2 handle the situation!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! I can't just sit here and watch him play my best friend and my god sis....HELP!!!

Answer... I think the best way for you to handle this situation is by speaking with him directly. Let him know that you’re aware he’s dating both girls and give him the opportunity to handle the situation. If he doesn’t address it in a timely manner then speak with you’re best friend and God sister.

Remember not to address him with a judgemental attitude but remind him that, as part of the Praise and Worship Team, he is called to set an example.

Make sure you pray before you speak with him, that God will give you the words to speak and that He will touch his heart to receive your words.

1 Corinthians 5:12

Saved by Faith

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Love Triangle

ANONYMOUS WROTE: (names are changed for anonymity) I was best friends with Noah for 3 yrs. We dated for awhile but things didn’t work out. Noah & I broke things off because he did some really stupid things at his ex’s and he scared everyone. my brother stopped a lot of bad things from happening that night. Another reason why it didn’t work out is because I still had feelings for my ex, Andrew, and he & I would hang out once in awhile. Even though Andrew calls me b/c he wants to see me, we end up arguing. He’s even called his ex to come over before I would leave his house! Well it was Andrew’s birthday and he wanted me to go out to the lake with him so I did... and he ended up ditching me to go with some other girls. So I was hanging out with everyone, enjoying myself when this really gorgeous guy Darren comes up and I looked into his eyes and we connected. We had a great weekend and exchanged numbers. We’ve had some deep talks on the phone. We write each other and he is worried that I love another guy... I do... I think. I told Darren that I love someone else and that didn’t go to well.. I think I messed that up and I really like him.... but I think he will stick with me and work this out. But there’s still Andrew... he keeps calling. He wants me to go out to his farm with him during harvest to keep him company... and I can’t say no.... I’m lost... fer reals


ANSWER: I read your email a couple of times to make sure I fully understand your situation. I think the first thing you should take into consideration is respect… respect given and respect received. Respect given is self respect and the respect you give others. Self respect is very important because it sets a foundation on how you will and will not allow others to treat you. God created you out of His undying love for you. Before you were in your mother’s womb He set forth a life and love for you that you must cherish. “He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!” (Psalm 139: 13,14) God’s love combined with prayer should inspire you, give you the insight and self-respect and love you need in order to make sound decisions in every area.

Deut. 7:16; Song of Solomon 1:15; Zech. 2:8

The drama with Noah sounds like he lacks self control. Although you built a friendship with him originally, he seems a little unstable. God wants His children to be stable… to be rooted. The bible uses the analogy of building your house on rock or sand (Matthew 7:24-27). Let me briefly explain:

If you build a house on sand and a terrible storm comes, you’re house is going to fall apart because it wasn’t built on a strong foundation. But if you build your house on the rock, it will last through the storm.

For Noah, his careless ways are like building his house on sand. Eventually, it’s going to fall apart. Situations like this are when you really have to evaluate your friendships. I suggest that you pray for him. His being out of control at his ex’s house shows that he’s allowed the enemy to work in his life, taking full control. Pray that Noah finds love in the Lord and is able to settle his ways in order to better provide for his children and himself. Be positive, stay focused, and pray for his salvation. It is very important that we pray for not only our friends and family, but also for those who have hurt us.

The best gift anyone can give to another is to pray for him or her. We live in a sinful world where bad things happen to people and people are tempted to sin. Praying for another person not only helps that person find God in the midst of trouble, but also helps us recognize the blessings that God gives us daily!

1 Timothy 2:1-5; James 1:13-15

Andrew and you seem to be caught in a yo-yo effect, going up and down. This is also not a healthy situation and is like you building on sand too. His blatant lack of respect should serve as a reminder for you… God intended you to be with someone that is respectful, that loves you wholeheartedly, and has a growing relationship with the Lord. I would suggest you not go to the farm to visit Andrew. Take some time to yourself. Meditate in the Word. Read and really try to understand the good things our Heavenly Father has planned for you. He will bring you someone that does not cause so much despair.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance?" (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

Darren is new and exciting. New and exciting should still be taken at a slow pace. Love is something very serious and isn’t shared with just anyone. It takes time to build your relationship with God so why wouldn’t the same apply to a guy?? Develop a friendship with Darren, don’t rush into anything. Always work on your relationship with the Lord first, making sure you are rooted in your faith. God will bring your mate in your life in His due time. Be patient.

We just wrote an article that might help you… My Heart Skipped A Beat

Sincerely,

Saved By Faith

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My Heart Skipped A Beat

QUESTION:
Hey do me a favor and go look at my profile at my latest blog. It's all about this guy I meet this weekend and I want to know what you think. Like am I falling way to fast for him or is it just a summer fling??? I really really like him though!

ANSWER:
I read your blog. God gave us feelings and they should be influenced by the Spirit of God who lives within us (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19). When our emotions are in charge of us it means that the Lord is not in charge. God never asks us to deny our feelings, just not be led by them.

Finding the right person is very important. Knowing when we have found the right person sometimes takes time and experience. It’s very easy to get caught up in the idea of a relationship and not carefully consider whether or not that person is suitable in the long run.

Your relationship should be built on Christ and not feelings. Important questions to think about for the both of you:

“Are you both saved?”
“What is your understanding of who Jesus is?”
“Do you live according to God’s will?”

You need to be on the same page because if you’re not, it will only lead to misdirection and frustration.

Take your time in getting to know him. Build a friendship first.

We need to maintain faith and trust in God, praying for His provision. Be practical about finding a partner. God knows our needs and wants the best for us.

Psalm 37:4
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”.

Saved By Faith

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My Friend Becomes My Boyfriend-Everythings A Mess!

Anonymous asks..Wow... Great timing on the request! Ok well.. me and my best guy friend have been friends for two and a half years. Well not too long ago we tried dating. Along with alot ALOT of complications we ended up breaking up and we fought alot after it. He has told me he never wanted to see me and didnt want to play this game with me. But yet after I leave town to think and when I come back he acts like nothing ever happened!!! Things got really bad on and off... now I just don't feel the same about him. But he still messages me and tells me he loves me. I know I love him too, but I'm not in love with him. You know what I mean? I no thats really confusing but any help???


Answer..God sends us what we need right when we need it..on time! It's unfortunate that you are going through this. I know it's tough and these situations can get sticky. The first thing I have to tell is to ask God to help you make the right decision and to give you the words to speak to your guy friend. You should clearly explain to him that you don't want to hurt him and that you are sorry that this got complicated. Tell him how you feel. He needs to respect your space and allow your friendship time to heal. Pray about whether or not you should separate yourself from him until he has had time to get over you. God cares about every detail of our lives. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and he will give you direction and guidance. His ways are always better than ours. Remember He sees what lies ahead and can help us avoid unnecessary stress.I will be praying for and your friend..

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

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My Smoking Friend

Anynonmous Asks...
Hey, I just want to know what do I do when a really close friend is smoking? He told me that he wasn't like that. Should I still be his friend?

Answer: It seems to me that your friend lied to you. If this is the case your relationship started off as a lie. You should first forgive him and pray for him. Choosing our friends is something that we need to do wisely and pray about.

About whether you should remain friends with him. Please remember our reputation comes from what we do and who we hang with. Our friends can also influence us.

Smoking is a serious issue that can eventually cost your friend his life. I do think you should talk to your friend and share with him some of these statistics.

*Smoking doesn’t kill you right away. Its effects could take some time to kill you and you don’t always die. You may have to suffer a slow death.
*Cancer is only one of the many illness that smoking causes.
*About 419,000 people die each year from cigarette and cigar smoking and that is only in the United States .
*Smoking causes 20 percent of all deaths in the United States each year.
*Cigarette smoking is the major cause of lung disease, including emphysema and chronic bronchitis.
*It is proven to cause cancer, heart disease and hormonal problems.
*Smoking is also linked to pulmonary diseases, cardiovascular disease.

Also, here are some Scriptures that you could read to help give you some direction and encouragement.
1Corinthians 6:12, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Ephesians 5:17, Exodus 20:13, Proverbs 3 5 and 6

Before closing I would like to say thank you for asking this question. Your question caused me to do research on the affects of smoking and what the bible says on it. Most of all I feel I must be accountable for my own actions.

I am ashamed to say that I am a smoker. It’s something that I’ve been struggling with for a very long time. This addiction has a strong hold on my life. I hate the fact that I can’t leave the house unless I have a lighter and that my family has to budget in this expense for my addiction.

This question has just confirmed to me that its time to stop. Upon my research I came across several articles about the dangers of smoking and how it hinders my spiritual development. I know the Holy Spirit dwells within me and my body does not belong to me, it belongs to God.

I realize that smoking as a Christian damages my testimony. I know that every time I smoke I’m tearing apart God's temple, decreasing the time I have to serve God, and wasting the money God has blessed me with.

I am taking the necessary steps to stop. I know I can because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thanks again..

Daughter of Destiny

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My BFF's Hate Each Other

Anonymous said...

I have 2 really good best friends that hate each other. It's hard 2 just hang out with 1 and not the other. They always get mad at me. I just don't know what 2 do please help me.




Answer: The first thing I would suggest is talking to each friend separately. Tell them honestly how you feel. Explain that it hurts you that they are fighting and that you do not want to be put in the middle of it. The problems that they have with one another should not involve you. Try to encourage them to resolve their differences, forgive each other, and
move on.

If after speaking to them they still do not respect your requests then you should really pray about whether you seperate yourself from them. You want to have friends that are going to be understanding, positive, and peaceful. Nobody needs extra drama and conflict in their life.

Pray about the situation. Ask God to touch your friends’ hearts and help them to forgive one another. Pray about whether or not you should remain friends with them. He will hear your prayers and answer them.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, 5Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

I hoped this helped you. You and your friends are in my prayers. Trophy of Grace


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Don't Be Afraid To Be Different

Q: "I’m a Christian girl and everyone picks on me at school because I won't go to the parties and hang out and drink with them. They are always picking on me. I am getting so tired of being so different. Sometimes I just want to give up."

A: You are different! You are a child of God! That sets you apart from the rest of the world. As Christians we are not part of this world and that is why the world hates us and makes fun of us. (John 15:19)Do not be ashamed that you are different. Even as an adult, I too am ridiculed for being different. I do not go to the party or hang out with the friends that will jeopardize my faith anymore. I’ve learned to care more what God thinks about me than what other people think. I refuse to jeopardize my faith to "fit in". (Galatians 2:20) We are called to walk a lifestyle that is different from what the world knows. We must never be ashamed to be different because we belong to Jesus. If we are ashamed of him he will be ashamed of us before our Father. (Luke 9:26) Don’t get tired of doing the right thing. After a while you’re going too blessed, if you don’t get discouraged and give up. Remember that God has a plan for your life. (Galatians 6:9)

Look at the apostle Paul. Paul was also "picked" on for his faith and for his walk with the Lord. He was thrown in prison, stoned, and ridiculed publicly for being a Christian. Can you imagine what he went through? He accepted that he was different and he then embraced it. He focused on what God wanted him to do and he ended up writing a good portion of the New Testament. (1 Peter 4:16)Stay focused and don’t give up. The power that is in you is more powerful than this world. God has a plan for you. Trust his divine design. You are not alone. I will be praying for you.


Read: John 7:7 , John 17:15-16, John 17:9, Mark 8:38

Daughter of Destiny

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