My Friends Say This Makes My Image Look Bad

MySpace Friend writes..

Hi,Thanx for the comment it was a very powerful image. but i have a problem. i have this friend who i have become really close to over the past few months. in the eyes of my other friends maybe a little too close. from a stranger's eye it looks like we're together but if you were to ask it would be like a hilarious joke where we would laugh it off and say "no!". ive heard from my friends that this is making my image look really bad. it would not be such a big problem if he didn't have a bad reputation for being a "womanizer". i knew this about him before we even became good friends and now i feel like there has been a wool thrown over my eyes. he has said he's changed but sometimes the truth can be rusted. i know that i should talk to him about it but its so hard so yes im gonna need prayer for this. im confused and i don't know what to think. does he actually like me or am i just another "victim"? what should i do?

Trophy of Grace replies..

Your welcome..We are glad that you liked it. We try to keep in touch with our MySpace friends and show them love through our comments. It’s also a way of reminding all of you that we are here if you need us.

Now regarding your relationship with this young man with a reputation for being a ‘womanizer’. I can’t not answer your question about whether he truly likes you or not because I do not know. I think that you should be careful with this relationship because of his reputation. Obviously this is not a young man that fears the Lord and honors the Word of God because he tarnished himself with a reputation for being a playa. He could very well be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. So stay alert this could be a strategy of the devil who is trying to get you caught up in an ungodly relationship.

1 Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Your friends are obviously concerned about you spending so much time with this young man. They don’t want to see you get caught up with feelings for this guys who could be preying on your heart with intentions for something else. I believe they are sincerely just trying to watch your back. I don’t think that you should ignore them. Their concern for your image is more of a concern that they have for your reputation. If you are hanging out with a guy who is known to take advantage of girls and may also be known for hanging out with the easy girls that may send the wrong message to other people. You don’t want them to think that you’re easy too.

If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you should want to protect your reputation because you are a child of God and a representative of Christ Jesus. Therefore you must be sure that you chose your friends wisely. Your closest friends should really also be believers that love and fear the Lord. These relationships will help you along in your journey through this life and in your service to our Lord Jesus Christ. (Colossians 3:17, Ephesians 5:1)

I think you should take a step back from this relationship and spend some time alone with God. This will allow to get your emotions and thoughts under control while you seek God’s will about all of this. Have you asked the Lord if this relationship is one that He wants you to have? I know that every time I have ever asked the Lord for wisdom regarding my friendships He has always been faithful to answer me. (James 1:5-7) He has shown me that any relationship that is going to cause us to stumble in our faith, leads us into sin or temptation, and keeps us in disobedience to God’s Word is one that we should cut off immediately. (Matthew 18:8-9)

Bottom line I think you need to step back, pray, seek God’s Word, and reevaluate this friendship before it goes any further.

Also, if you have not yet received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior then we want you to know that the women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth.All have sinned and deserve God's judgment. God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgment for those who believe in Him.Jesus, the creator and eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loves us so much that He died for our sins, taking the punishment that we deserve, was buried, and rose from the dead according to the Bible.If you truly believe and trust this in your heart, receiving Jesus alone as your Savior, declaring, "Jesus is Lord," you will be saved from judgment and spend eternity with God in heaven. If you would like to receive Jesus as your savior please click the link below.

Repent, Confess & Be Saved Now!

10 Principles for New Christians

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

I Have Alot of Peer Pressure

Anonymous said...
Hi, what do I do when I feel like I have alot of peer pressure?????

Trophy of Grace said...

I would say the first thing you may need to do is step back and reconsider who you’re hanging out with. Obviously those closest to you are trying to get you to do wrong or to participate in things that you do not feel comfortable with. Try talking with them and telling them that you feel pressured and uncomfortable with their influence regarding whatever the situation is. If the peer pressure continues then you may need to get away from whoever is causing the peer pressure.

King Solomon told his son, “My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!” (Proverbs 1:10) He tells his son not to go along with all the bad things that these so called ‘friends’ wanted to do. He advised him to stay far away from their paths. (Proverbs 1:15, 4:14) Therefore I too must advise the same. Stay far away from anything or anyone that will cause you to sin. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22, 1 Timothy 6:11)

You have to choose your friends wisely. Do not be deceived evil company corrupts good habits. (1 Corinthians 16:33) Our circle of friends can influence us. You want to have wise friends who love and long to please the Lord. If your friends are wise men then you too will be wise. But if your companions are fools who do not fear the Lord you may be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20) You could get into trouble just for hanging out with them, being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Be sure that your closest friends are those who will be an encouragement to you. They will be there to lift you up not to tear you down. (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

I was reading an article from Brio Magazine online about picking friends. I like what it had to say about what to look for. Here’s a clip from the article:

From the article 'Call Me!' By Mark Matlock

What To Look For

To see if someone has the qualities of a true friend, look for words, actions, reaction and direction. These are often the more obvious clues to uncovering the more subtle qualities of loyalty, honesty, forgiveness and realism.

Words. Listen to what people talk about. Do they talk at all about seeking God and His kingdom, or are they obsessed with pleasure, approval, power, status and things? Does their humor destroy or build up people? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself repeating a phrase or joke I heard from another friend. Do you want to be heard talking like those you hang around with.

Actions. Some people say the right things but don’t back up their words through their actions. This can be especially true at Christian universities. A person’s behavior tells more about his values and convictions than his words do, so take notice of what people do, where they go and how they handle responsibilities.

Reactions. Watch for people’s reactions to success and failure, to joys and disappointments. If a person quickly gets angry at small problems, steer clear. On the other hand, you’ll see wisdom in those who pray for needs, care about others’ hurts, listen well and stand strong on their convictions.

Please pray and consider the influence that your friends are having on you. It may be time to sever these relationships and ask the Lord to bring you godly friendships, ones that will glorify Him and encourage as well as edify you. I will be praying for you too.

Too Much Emotional Drama

MySpace Friend writes..

Its been a while since i asked for advice ... but i am only a teenager.. i cant help it ... i have a problem that every teenager deals with and its hard to rid of.. but i am trying and i dont know where ...or how to start..so i need help... I used to be so centered around God about 3 years ago ... i havent let go... but i have fallen back some steps and its hard to catch up ... but my problem is ... that i bring- cause alot of drama between myself and world... not physically emotionally its taking its toll on me.. i am only 19 years old... and i kno i am not alone in this ... the smallest things cause me to have a total emotional break.. not crazy is what i keep telling my self and i have lots of love and suport of my family ... they give me the advice to just live and get over it .... stop worrying .. things are gonna happen according to God anyways mine as well live for now... my mind set is alway future.. which causes me stress/ and always getting panic attacks ... its starting tho to affect this Man i am in love with ... he cant emotionally take what i dish out .. it over rides all my Good and potiential and it stresses me out but according to him ... he still loves me no matter what ...lol even if he has to put me in a padded room ...jk but still its something i am not sure how to deal with .. i am very open to ppl .. but they are so closed... to all my drama cuz i have so much of it EMOTIONALLY not physically i wouldnt ever openly display this emotion .... i want to rid all the bad and negative i have ... its just i have gotten mixed up in all the wrong crowds i am finding my way out of these accustoms i developed not even knowing that who i was becoming ... i know this must make me sound like a bad person... but i dont want to lose all thats good and that i have ... and my emotions are about draining me and everyone around me ... I need help ... i dont wants shrinks or anything that crazy ... Cuz i am not crazy i just want advice on how to deal with this like every other teenager ... BECAUSE ITS HARD LIVING THE LIFE OF A TEENAGER ....

many thanks :
hopefully you can help me unstress my emotional attachment to all the things that makes it hard

Trophy of Grace replies..

We are here to help you sister. We know its hard being a teenager and that’s why we started this ministry to reach out and help whoever was willing to ask. You can come to us any time you want. It is our pleasure to serve you. We are glad that you have come back.

Let me immediately encourage you by telling you that Jesus loves you so much. He has not left you or forsaken you in anyway. Our heavenly Father has been waiting for you to come home. He says, “Return, my backslidden child, And I will heal your backslidings. I will love you freely, For my anger has turned away from you. Remember therefore from where you have fallen and repent. My kindness to you is meant to lead you to repentance” (Jeremiah 3:22, Hosea 14:4, Revelation 2:4-5, Romans 2:4-6)

Everything that you are saying regarding your emotional condition, stress level, and your choices in friends/associates I believe is a result of pulling away from the Lord and His will for your life. You are producing negative results and bad fruit in your life. It is affecting you and others all around you. You need to find peace and joy again. You have to come back to God. In Him is the fullness of joy. Praying and reading the Word will bring you the peace you so desire.

If you will repent and turn back to the Lord He will heal your mind. His Word will renew your mind. He does not want to you to be conformed to this world thinking and acting like the ungodly. You are a child of the Most High God and should live your life pleasing to Him. This is the least that we can do after all He has done for us.

The medicine you need is the Word of God. If you will meditate on it instead of the thoughts of stress and worry you will find freedom and peace. Worry and anxiety will open the door to the spirit of fear to come in and torment you. You have to resist worry and learn to trust in the Lord with all of your heart, leaning not on your own understanding. If you will acknowledge Him and seek Him and His way in all areas of your life He will be faithful to direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

If you know that you have made unhealthy or bad friendships then get away from these people. Ask the Lord to help you find friendships that will glorify Him and that will help you stay close to Him. Get back to church and get involved in your youth group. You need accountability from other believers. You may want to seek counsel from one of your local youth leaders or pastors. That is what the body of Christ is here for.
I leave you with these scriptures. Please meditate on them and do not ignore my counsel. The Lord is calling you back. Don’t ignore Him. He wants to do mighty things in your life if you will only trust Him with your mind and heart. Allow Him to make all of your crooked paths straight. You will see Him do a new thing in your life.

God bless you sister..

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

“I will hear what God the Lord will speak, For He will speak peace To His people and to His saints; But let them not turn back to folly.” Psalm 85:8

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4

“For the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

In Christ Love,

Trophy of Grace

Friendship

Written by Blessed and Highly Favored

Commitment: The act of pledging, the process of or engaging oneself; entrusting as for safekeeping.

Convenience: Absence of that which annoys; personal wellbeing; that which gives ease or comfort or makes work less difficult and complicated; a condition personally favorable or suitable; advantage.

In my life, I can count on one hand many true friends I’ve had. Friends who really love me, who would be willing to do most anything for me, and who always tell me the truth despite how much it might hurt. Those people know how to make a commitment.

The term “friend” is a word thrown around a lot. “Friend” could mean a guy you’ve been dating but you don’t want your parents or other pals to start asking questions (no sense in letting the whole world know your business, right?) “Friend” could mean starting up a relationship with a girl you’ve just met. “Friend” could mean someone you’ve known for a long time, but you mainly hang out to keep from getting bored, in a casual, I’ve-got-nothing-else-to-do attitude.

Now those “friends” (the ones who keep you from being bored) will tell you what you want to hear and WILL drop you like a bad habit if something else better comes along. You don’t mean anything to them. What you are, are ACQUAINTANCES. You may have common interests, the same likes/dislikes, but the relationship never gets any deeper than surface, unimportant chatter. Sometimes we sacrifice deeper relationships for shallow ones because you can have a lot of “friends” (lots of friends=popularity, right? And we all want to be popular?) As if the greater number of people you know means they all like you? Not!

God shows us how to be friends to one another, how to have deeper friendships. One example is found in 1 Samuel 18 between Jonathon, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, and David, the second king of Israel. The relationship between Jonathon and David was one of deep respect, love and admiration. They loved each other closer than brothers. Jonathon protected David when Jonathon’s father, Saul, continually tried to kill David. However, despite Saul’s attempts, David still had reverence for Saul, not only as King, but as the father of his best friend. When Saul and Jonathon and the other sons were killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they were stripped, beheaded and fastened to a wall in Beth Shan. When David was given this news, he was in mournful agony and ordered that their bodies be removed from such desecration and be buried with dignity and respect entitled to a king and his family.

In our relationships with each other, take an inventory of your “friends;” Are they commitments or conveniences? Think about it. Do you make plans with someone, and then change them at a moments notice and always expect them to “understand because they are your friend?” Do you “forget” to include them for certain events because other people might not like them, and your association with them might not get you invited to other “cool” events? Do you plan to do something special with them, and then decide to invite others along without bothering to ask if it would be all right? Then if they said no, it’s not all right; would you get all upset and pout, and wonder what the big deal was? Do you ever so slightly shade the truth with them (lie) so that you don’t look like the bad guy? Are you spending time with them because it’s an excuse to get out of the house and go somewhere?

Sorry, you are treating those people like conveniences, under the guise of being a “friend” and going through the motions. In fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what being a friend is all about. Actually, you’re the fraud, pretending to care about someone, but treating them like a disposable diaper.

Commitment as a friend requires you think about them first, rather than yourself. To cherish them and to honor their heart. That is what binds friends together through thick and thin. You can depend on them; open your heart, and share thoughts, dreams and desires in the safety of that relationship. Honesty must be the cornerstone. To lie and deceive is about selfishness and the first blow of destruction.

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.”

Proverbs 27:9, “Oil and perfume make glad the heart and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.”

Proverbs 27:16, “He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.”

Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so a man makes sharp his friend.”

So if you go changing the deck chairs of your personal relationships, it’s important to be gracious and congenial to people who you have moved to the outer edges of your heart. It gives them a clue that the relationship has changed and allows them the decision to continue to invest themselves in you or to be satisfied with the shift or to simply move on to other more meaningful relationships. To do otherwise is cruel and speaks volumes to your lack of character.

Allow time to cultivate friendships: They can last a lifetime if you’re willing to count them on one hand.

7th Grade Boy Problems & Pregnant at 12

Anonymous Question: At School in the 7th grade it's pretty tuff,I mean you are exposed to A LOT of things Like:My Friend was PREGNANT and she's only 12 she had an abortion,and now she's engaged to the father of the baby!
and a lot of other things such as boys and I recently got out of a relationship,and it just didn't feel right to be with him,but it still hurt when one of his guy friends,broke it off with me for him,How do I get over him, HE flirts with ALL my friends right in front of me! and it just really hurts!

Answer: Hey. I’m answering this in parts because I want to address everything you mentioned.

Your Friend - I’m surprised at the fact that a 12-year-old is engaged… did her parents permit this? What’s even more heart-wrenching is that your friend was pregnant at such a young age. 7th grade is a transition year… tween… from child to teen. There are so many things you will begin to experience and see. Circles of friends shift, changing because of everyone’s personalities developing more. There’s also more peer pressure for more adult situations, like drinking, drugs and sex.

Sex might seem like just another “thing” but there really is so much more involved. It is proven that females become emotionally attached quicker than males. And being sexually involved with someone heightens that emotional attachment. Not only are you giving that person yourself physically but you end up giving them your feelings/emotions as well. And at 12 years old, you’re not done developing mentally or physically. Give yourself a chance to develop, learn what love really is, how to give it and how to receive it. Besides that, there are a lot of repercussions from having pre-marital sex. Aside from pregnancy, she’s also opening herself to STDs… some of which are lifers (like HIV, AIDS, and herpes to name a few).

In a way, this pubescent age is spent like a caterpillar, wrapped in a permeable womb, morphing into something so much more grander and beautiful. Why sacrifice the beauty and pureness that God has intended you to be just for an “in the moment” attraction?

The choices/decisions your friends make also affect you and other’s perception of you. Choose your friends wisely. If your friend is having sex already, people will look at how she’s living and assume you are the same way because you’re close with her (guilty by association). I hope you choose to surround yourself with good company.

Psalm 144:12
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.

II Timothy 2:22
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Your Break Up – break ups are always tough, especially when it’s done to you. Knowing that it didn’t feel right being with him should be confirmation that you shouldn’t have been in the relationship. Another plus is that with him initiating the split, it shows that he wasn’t ready for a relationship either. (So, in a way, you both felt the same.) I think what hurts the most isn’t the break up itself but the way it happened. When I was 12, I was broken up with through my boyfriend’s friend too. I felt rejected because he didn’t even have the nerve to look at me and tell me for himself. With that feeling of rejection, came anger. There he was, strolling around the hallways like nothing with a big ole smile on his face, while I sneered at him as I walked by. Eventually it passed though. I realized it was too much too soon. I wanted to enjoy 7th grade without any extra problems or hassles. I threw myself more into sports and friends and really enjoyed that school year.

I know 7th grade is difficult. I learned SO much in that year and the years to follow. And as every year passed, I would reflect on the previous year and what I did and would think to myself, “Why did I do that?!? Man, if I only knew then what I know now.” Actually, I still say that at times!

Life is a learning process. We are taught from a very young age the difference between right and wrong. We were built with an inner sense of “should I” or “shouldn’t I.” We also know learn what God requires of us. Take your time in growing up… enjoy the carefree years you have (excluding homework and tests :/ ). Know that this is a time for you to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually and all those other situations will be waiting for you when you’re older… when you’re better equipped to handle them.

I Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

Psalm 71:17
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.


I hope you take the time to reflect.

With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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This Is Not the Life I Want For Myself

A Friend Wrote: Going through some crazy drama and don't even know why. Everything is too much for me that I'm gonna start going to church every sunday starting this sunday coming up, I come to realize that I need god in my life and just need to start my life fresh. This is not the life I want for myself... Been doing a lot of thinking to myself and need to just do and stop thinking so much about it but at times I just feel like given up on myself...

Reply: ... I can understand why you're tired of that way of life. There are so many factors that will rot away at your heart... drinking, sex, surrounding yourself with bad company, to name a few.

I can definitely say that God's made such a big difference in my life and I'm positive He will do the same for you. Knowing that HE loves you unconditionally and accepts you as you are is an incredible feeling! There's no need to feel ashamed or be down on yourself with Christ. Going to church, building a relationship with the Lord is the 1st step towards starting fresh.

I think you have to reconsider how you're spending your free time. Drinking as much as you've been is not good for you. Alcohol may mask your worries, fears & troubles for a little while but it doesn't make them go away. Once you sober up, they are still waiting for you... and you may have a couple of more issues like not remembering what you did while you were drunk. or having to ask other people what you did or didn't do. Or regretting your actions or words.

1 Thessalonians 5:4-8
“You are all children of the light and of the day, and do not belong to darkness and night. So be on your guard not asleep like the others. Watch for his return and stay sober. Night is the time for sleep and the time when people get drunk. But let us who live in the light keep sober..”

About sex... You body is as sacred as a temple. You should preserve it and not give it to whomever gives you the most attention at the time. Men will say what they can in order to fulfill their desires, it doesn't mean that they care for you or will be there for you. Multiple partners (especially in only a few months) is not healthy, physically or emotionally. Do you realize how many diseases/illnesses you're opening yourself up to? You're not sleeping with just that person... in a sense, you're sleeping with everyone they've laid down with. And emotionally, how is that effecting your self esteem? self worth? You are a valuable treasure. YOU are a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out and should be treated with respect and honor.

Psalm 139: 13,14
He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!

Deut. 7:16
We are His cherished treasure

Song of Solomon 1:15
He thinks we’re beautiful

I value you as a friend and I pray for you all the time. I pray that you will build a relationship with God and He will direct you down the right path. I pray for your happiness. I pray for you to be blessed 10 times over, as God intended.

I'm glad to hear you say you want to seek God and I'd like to invite you to my church's service on Sunday. But please, whether you make it to service this week or not, please think about your lifestyle. Begin by dropping communication with those that hinder you and stop the drunken partying. It will only widen the darkness in your heart.

I love you and am praying for you.

Saved By Faith


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Everyone Says I Shouldn't Be Friends With Her

Anonymous said...
I have this friend that everyone says i shouldnt be friends with cuz she makes my attitude alot worse nd i sneek around and lie to my parents all the time cuz her.She also tells me what to do and if i dont she yells at me.Should i stop being her friend??

Answer..It sounds like this girl is not a good influence on you. The people closest to you are telling you to leave this girl alone because they see that she is a negative influence on you. They do not want to see you hanging out with the wrong people.

Besides that you see for yourself that she is leading you down the wrong path. She is encouraging you to lie to your parents and sneak around..plus she yells at you when you don't do what she tells you. That's horrible. That does not sound like any friend to me. She sounds like a bully.

I would say get away from her. Stop hanging with this girl. You are in great danger..She is teaching you or influencing you to dishonor your parents. I wonder what else she may be trying to get you to do?

God has commanded us to honor our father and mother. It is the fifth commandment in the bible. “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

Look at these other scriptures...

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” this is the first commandment with a promise: (Ephesians 6:1-2)

Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)

Cut this friend lose and if you are not already, start praying for this young lady to change her ways before she finds herself in serious trouble.

For the future I strongly recommend that you choose your friends more wisely. Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

You both will be in my prayers.

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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After School Started She Changed

Anonymous asks..hey well i have a friend.every time she iz around me she acts like goofy old me.but when she goes around othes girls she tries 2 act all cool.i noe that sometimes she get a little jealous of me because most of the boys like but that doesnt really matter.but any ways.this past summer we were always 2gether,but after school started she just changed.in the hall ways she doesnt say anything 2 me.but when were at my house she could talk up a storm.i just want a friend that iz a friend around me AND around other people.

Answer..I can imagine how hurt you must feel. I think the best thing to do is to talk to your friend about how you are feeling. That is the only way that the situation can be resolved. Before you go and talk to her pray and ask for God to give you the words to speak and also ask that her heart be prepared to receive what you have to say.

If she continues to act indifferent when you are at school then you may need to give her some space. Try not to take it personal. Your friend may just be trying to find herself and her own direction. I have learned that friends come and go. Some are just for a short season and others are for a life time.

If this friendship has served its course then thank God for the time that you have had together and keep your friend in your prayers. Then ask God to send you new friends that love Him and will love you too.

I will be praying for both you and your friend.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace


PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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My Friend Doesn't Understand

Anonymous Wrote:
My best friend and I have known each other for over 10 years; we know each other very well. Although we are best friends I'm not much of a phone person and our work schedules are so hectic that we only go to dinner about once a week. She always gets mad at me for not calling her enough, etc. We went away this weekend w/ our boyfriends and I sensed she was mad at me the whole time. My boyfriend and I don't drink or go to clubs and I feel she was upset about that. I feel that she is really demanding of my time and doesn’t understand that I don’t want to fall back into the world. I don't know if it's me being a bad friend or if it’s something on her part. She is catholic but doesn’t go to church or anything, I am Christian and want a closer relationship with the Lord. What should I do?

Response:I don’t think you’re being a bad friend. I think this is more about friends understanding one another and accepting them as they are. For example, I work and go to school and am raise my children on my own, so my time is extremely limited… and aside from that, I only like to be on the phone when it’s something important. Most of my friends understand that and respect it. On occasion, there’s one that wants more time or asks why I “never” talk to her (I think her phone is surgically attached to her ear! lol). If I know it’s something that’s important to my friend, I will try to make a call here & there just to say hi (keeping it short) or I’ll send a text message. But they also have to accept my schedule and understand that they cannot be my main focus… but the occasional call or text shows them that, although they aren’t my main focus, I thought of them and am here for them. I think the difference in how you & she are living your lives now might be what’s really hardening the friendship though.

Having friends that don’t go to church or don’t really understand what it means to live as a Christian is very difficult. It is very easy for them to get mad or offended because you don’t want to party with them anymore. Being of the flesh, it’s hard for them to accept that you’ve changed your ways and are trying to live your life according to God’s will. This is when we have to determine who our friends really are. I would love to say that eventually they’ll accept it and you’ll still have the same wonderful friendship but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. A lot of the time, in my experience, they will distance themselves or I will distance myself, because it’s too much of a conflict of interest. Your main focus is strengthening your relationship in Christ and should not… cannot… compromise your salvation. Talk to her, let her know you value the friendship and you would like her to be more understanding and accepting of how you’re living now. Pray before speaking with her; make sure you speak with her out of love. You should also keep her in your prayers. Pray that she finds her way to Christ and turns her sinning ways around. Continue to stand strong and set the example for others. Your testimony will impact others.

Please read this article, it’s about Christian living and fleshly friends.
Jesus Freak

Your sister is Christ,

Saved By Faith

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Love Triangle

ANONYMOUS WROTE: (names are changed for anonymity) I was best friends with Noah for 3 yrs. We dated for awhile but things didn’t work out. Noah & I broke things off because he did some really stupid things at his ex’s and he scared everyone. my brother stopped a lot of bad things from happening that night. Another reason why it didn’t work out is because I still had feelings for my ex, Andrew, and he & I would hang out once in awhile. Even though Andrew calls me b/c he wants to see me, we end up arguing. He’s even called his ex to come over before I would leave his house! Well it was Andrew’s birthday and he wanted me to go out to the lake with him so I did... and he ended up ditching me to go with some other girls. So I was hanging out with everyone, enjoying myself when this really gorgeous guy Darren comes up and I looked into his eyes and we connected. We had a great weekend and exchanged numbers. We’ve had some deep talks on the phone. We write each other and he is worried that I love another guy... I do... I think. I told Darren that I love someone else and that didn’t go to well.. I think I messed that up and I really like him.... but I think he will stick with me and work this out. But there’s still Andrew... he keeps calling. He wants me to go out to his farm with him during harvest to keep him company... and I can’t say no.... I’m lost... fer reals


ANSWER: I read your email a couple of times to make sure I fully understand your situation. I think the first thing you should take into consideration is respect… respect given and respect received. Respect given is self respect and the respect you give others. Self respect is very important because it sets a foundation on how you will and will not allow others to treat you. God created you out of His undying love for you. Before you were in your mother’s womb He set forth a life and love for you that you must cherish. “He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!” (Psalm 139: 13,14) God’s love combined with prayer should inspire you, give you the insight and self-respect and love you need in order to make sound decisions in every area.

Deut. 7:16; Song of Solomon 1:15; Zech. 2:8

The drama with Noah sounds like he lacks self control. Although you built a friendship with him originally, he seems a little unstable. God wants His children to be stable… to be rooted. The bible uses the analogy of building your house on rock or sand (Matthew 7:24-27). Let me briefly explain:

If you build a house on sand and a terrible storm comes, you’re house is going to fall apart because it wasn’t built on a strong foundation. But if you build your house on the rock, it will last through the storm.

For Noah, his careless ways are like building his house on sand. Eventually, it’s going to fall apart. Situations like this are when you really have to evaluate your friendships. I suggest that you pray for him. His being out of control at his ex’s house shows that he’s allowed the enemy to work in his life, taking full control. Pray that Noah finds love in the Lord and is able to settle his ways in order to better provide for his children and himself. Be positive, stay focused, and pray for his salvation. It is very important that we pray for not only our friends and family, but also for those who have hurt us.

The best gift anyone can give to another is to pray for him or her. We live in a sinful world where bad things happen to people and people are tempted to sin. Praying for another person not only helps that person find God in the midst of trouble, but also helps us recognize the blessings that God gives us daily!

1 Timothy 2:1-5; James 1:13-15

Andrew and you seem to be caught in a yo-yo effect, going up and down. This is also not a healthy situation and is like you building on sand too. His blatant lack of respect should serve as a reminder for you… God intended you to be with someone that is respectful, that loves you wholeheartedly, and has a growing relationship with the Lord. I would suggest you not go to the farm to visit Andrew. Take some time to yourself. Meditate in the Word. Read and really try to understand the good things our Heavenly Father has planned for you. He will bring you someone that does not cause so much despair.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance?" (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

Darren is new and exciting. New and exciting should still be taken at a slow pace. Love is something very serious and isn’t shared with just anyone. It takes time to build your relationship with God so why wouldn’t the same apply to a guy?? Develop a friendship with Darren, don’t rush into anything. Always work on your relationship with the Lord first, making sure you are rooted in your faith. God will bring your mate in your life in His due time. Be patient.

We just wrote an article that might help you… My Heart Skipped A Beat

Sincerely,

Saved By Faith

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My Smoking Friend

Anynonmous Asks...
Hey, I just want to know what do I do when a really close friend is smoking? He told me that he wasn't like that. Should I still be his friend?

Answer: It seems to me that your friend lied to you. If this is the case your relationship started off as a lie. You should first forgive him and pray for him. Choosing our friends is something that we need to do wisely and pray about.

About whether you should remain friends with him. Please remember our reputation comes from what we do and who we hang with. Our friends can also influence us.

Smoking is a serious issue that can eventually cost your friend his life. I do think you should talk to your friend and share with him some of these statistics.

*Smoking doesn’t kill you right away. Its effects could take some time to kill you and you don’t always die. You may have to suffer a slow death.
*Cancer is only one of the many illness that smoking causes.
*About 419,000 people die each year from cigarette and cigar smoking and that is only in the United States .
*Smoking causes 20 percent of all deaths in the United States each year.
*Cigarette smoking is the major cause of lung disease, including emphysema and chronic bronchitis.
*It is proven to cause cancer, heart disease and hormonal problems.
*Smoking is also linked to pulmonary diseases, cardiovascular disease.

Also, here are some Scriptures that you could read to help give you some direction and encouragement.
1Corinthians 6:12, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Ephesians 5:17, Exodus 20:13, Proverbs 3 5 and 6

Before closing I would like to say thank you for asking this question. Your question caused me to do research on the affects of smoking and what the bible says on it. Most of all I feel I must be accountable for my own actions.

I am ashamed to say that I am a smoker. It’s something that I’ve been struggling with for a very long time. This addiction has a strong hold on my life. I hate the fact that I can’t leave the house unless I have a lighter and that my family has to budget in this expense for my addiction.

This question has just confirmed to me that its time to stop. Upon my research I came across several articles about the dangers of smoking and how it hinders my spiritual development. I know the Holy Spirit dwells within me and my body does not belong to me, it belongs to God.

I realize that smoking as a Christian damages my testimony. I know that every time I smoke I’m tearing apart God's temple, decreasing the time I have to serve God, and wasting the money God has blessed me with.

I am taking the necessary steps to stop. I know I can because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thanks again..

Daughter of Destiny

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My BFF's Hate Each Other

Anonymous said...

I have 2 really good best friends that hate each other. It's hard 2 just hang out with 1 and not the other. They always get mad at me. I just don't know what 2 do please help me.




Answer: The first thing I would suggest is talking to each friend separately. Tell them honestly how you feel. Explain that it hurts you that they are fighting and that you do not want to be put in the middle of it. The problems that they have with one another should not involve you. Try to encourage them to resolve their differences, forgive each other, and
move on.

If after speaking to them they still do not respect your requests then you should really pray about whether you seperate yourself from them. You want to have friends that are going to be understanding, positive, and peaceful. Nobody needs extra drama and conflict in their life.

Pray about the situation. Ask God to touch your friends’ hearts and help them to forgive one another. Pray about whether or not you should remain friends with them. He will hear your prayers and answer them.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, 5Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

I hoped this helped you. You and your friends are in my prayers. Trophy of Grace


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Don't Be Afraid To Be Different

Q: "I’m a Christian girl and everyone picks on me at school because I won't go to the parties and hang out and drink with them. They are always picking on me. I am getting so tired of being so different. Sometimes I just want to give up."

A: You are different! You are a child of God! That sets you apart from the rest of the world. As Christians we are not part of this world and that is why the world hates us and makes fun of us. (John 15:19)Do not be ashamed that you are different. Even as an adult, I too am ridiculed for being different. I do not go to the party or hang out with the friends that will jeopardize my faith anymore. I’ve learned to care more what God thinks about me than what other people think. I refuse to jeopardize my faith to "fit in". (Galatians 2:20) We are called to walk a lifestyle that is different from what the world knows. We must never be ashamed to be different because we belong to Jesus. If we are ashamed of him he will be ashamed of us before our Father. (Luke 9:26) Don’t get tired of doing the right thing. After a while you’re going too blessed, if you don’t get discouraged and give up. Remember that God has a plan for your life. (Galatians 6:9)

Look at the apostle Paul. Paul was also "picked" on for his faith and for his walk with the Lord. He was thrown in prison, stoned, and ridiculed publicly for being a Christian. Can you imagine what he went through? He accepted that he was different and he then embraced it. He focused on what God wanted him to do and he ended up writing a good portion of the New Testament. (1 Peter 4:16)Stay focused and don’t give up. The power that is in you is more powerful than this world. God has a plan for you. Trust his divine design. You are not alone. I will be praying for you.


Read: John 7:7 , John 17:15-16, John 17:9, Mark 8:38

Daughter of Destiny

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