Monday, September 29, 2008

7th Grade Boy Problems & Pregnant at 12


Anonymous Question: At School in the 7th grade it's pretty tuff,I mean you are exposed to A LOT of things Like:My Friend was PREGNANT and she's only 12 she had an abortion,and now she's engaged to the father of the baby!
and a lot of other things such as boys and I recently got out of a relationship,and it just didn't feel right to be with him,but it still hurt when one of his guy friends,broke it off with me for him,How do I get over him, HE flirts with ALL my friends right in front of me! and it just really hurts!

Answer: Hey. I’m answering this in parts because I want to address everything you mentioned.

Your Friend - I’m surprised at the fact that a 12-year-old is engaged… did her parents permit this? What’s even more heart-wrenching is that your friend was pregnant at such a young age. 7th grade is a transition year… tween… from child to teen. There are so many things you will begin to experience and see. Circles of friends shift, changing because of everyone’s personalities developing more. There’s also more peer pressure for more adult situations, like drinking, drugs and sex.

Sex might seem like just another “thing” but there really is so much more involved. It is proven that females become emotionally attached quicker than males. And being sexually involved with someone heightens that emotional attachment. Not only are you giving that person yourself physically but you end up giving them your feelings/emotions as well. And at 12 years old, you’re not done developing mentally or physically. Give yourself a chance to develop, learn what love really is, how to give it and how to receive it. Besides that, there are a lot of repercussions from having pre-marital sex. Aside from pregnancy, she’s also opening herself to STDs… some of which are lifers (like HIV, AIDS, and herpes to name a few).

In a way, this pubescent age is spent like a caterpillar, wrapped in a permeable womb, morphing into something so much more grander and beautiful. Why sacrifice the beauty and pureness that God has intended you to be just for an “in the moment” attraction?

The choices/decisions your friends make also affect you and other’s perception of you. Choose your friends wisely. If your friend is having sex already, people will look at how she’s living and assume you are the same way because you’re close with her (guilty by association). I hope you choose to surround yourself with good company.

Psalm 144:12
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.

II Timothy 2:22
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Your Break Up – break ups are always tough, especially when it’s done to you. Knowing that it didn’t feel right being with him should be confirmation that you shouldn’t have been in the relationship. Another plus is that with him initiating the split, it shows that he wasn’t ready for a relationship either. (So, in a way, you both felt the same.) I think what hurts the most isn’t the break up itself but the way it happened. When I was 12, I was broken up with through my boyfriend’s friend too. I felt rejected because he didn’t even have the nerve to look at me and tell me for himself. With that feeling of rejection, came anger. There he was, strolling around the hallways like nothing with a big ole smile on his face, while I sneered at him as I walked by. Eventually it passed though. I realized it was too much too soon. I wanted to enjoy 7th grade without any extra problems or hassles. I threw myself more into sports and friends and really enjoyed that school year.

I know 7th grade is difficult. I learned SO much in that year and the years to follow. And as every year passed, I would reflect on the previous year and what I did and would think to myself, “Why did I do that?!? Man, if I only knew then what I know now.” Actually, I still say that at times!

Life is a learning process. We are taught from a very young age the difference between right and wrong. We were built with an inner sense of “should I” or “shouldn’t I.” We also know learn what God requires of us. Take your time in growing up… enjoy the carefree years you have (excluding homework and tests :/ ). Know that this is a time for you to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually and all those other situations will be waiting for you when you’re older… when you’re better equipped to handle them.

I Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

Psalm 71:17
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.


I hope you take the time to reflect.

With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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