Girls Gone Mild

Written By: Daughter of The King

I was up late one night and I was watching TV when a commercial came on for one of those “Girls Gone Wild” videos, I had heard about them but I have never seen them. Even though the commercial doesn’t show everything I was shocked at what I saw, I couldn’t believe that these beautiful young women would allow anyone to film them doing outrages things for the whole world to see. My heart broke for them because I knew that they were spiritually lost and I knew that even though they were smiling and flaunting their bodies that they lacked self-esteem and self-respect.

But you know you don’t have to be on “Girls Gone Wild” to lack self-esteem and self-respect; look in your closet, what are you wearing? Is your clothes too short, too tight or just not enough of it? What you choose to wear tells people a lot about you and did you know that it also tells people how to treat you. Look at the definitions of the words “sex object” and “sexy”

Sex Object: A person viewed as being of little interest or merit beyond the potential for providing sexual gratification.

Sexy: Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.

If you leave your house in a skimpy outfit you are telling the world “hey look at me, I’m easy, come take advantage of me” and guess what, men will look at you and that may make you feel good but the problem is that the men who will approach you and talk to you only want one thing and that thing is your body. They don’t care about your personality, they don’t care about your mind they don’t care about you; the only thing they care about is getting some sex and you happen to look like an easy target. You might think that you like to dress sexy but your not easy, so I want to ask you why dress like something your not because what you’re doing is sending men mixed signals.

If you are a Christian woman you have to remember that you must honor God with your body that means anything you put in it or on it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Remember that you are a daughter of God, you’re His princess; how should a princess dress? How does she walk and talk? A woman who says she’s a Christian should dress in a way not to call attention to herself but to bring attention to Christ. That does not mean your have to look frumpy and old fashioned; you can dress in a trendy or stylish fashion and still bring honor to God, it’s when we dress in a way that draws sexual attention to ourselves that we dishonor God and ourselves.

Look at what 1 Timothy 2:9 MSG says:

…I want women to get in [prayer] with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.

When we focus on the Lord and focus on serving Him we become beautiful on the inside and on the outside and believe me this kind of beauty gets noticed but only by men who are looking for someone to love for a lifetime, someone to have a family with, someone he could be proud to call his wife.

God expects us to be leaders in this world and not followers, so when everyone else is losing their dignity and self respect “going wild”, we who are God’s princess’ are to be beautiful and dignified women who don’t have to “go wild” to get noticed.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read articles written by Daugther of the King

I've Been Wondering For A Little While Now..

WARNING THIS POSTING IS GRAPHIC IN NATURE..

Anonymous said...
I've been wondering for a little while now... Is anal sex the same as regular(vaginal) sex, in the sense that one loses their virginity? If I were to have anal sex, would I no longer be a virgin? Or is anal sex pretty much the same thing?

Daughter of the King said...

Sweetheart, you lose your virginity when you have sex, any sex. Vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex it’s all sex. That’s the short answer but let’s dig into this a little deeper because it’s important to understand what God expects of us.

First, God expects us to be pure all over not just our vaginas. He wants us to have pure hearts, minds and bodies because this is what sets us apart from others and what honors Him.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) says: 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

We are not honoring God when we get involved in any type of sexual activity with someone who is not our husband, the bible is clear that sex, any type of sex is only for married people.

Matthew 19:4-6 (Contemporary English Version)4Jesus answered, "Don't you know that in the beginning the Creator made a man and a woman? 5That's why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. He becomes like one person with his wife. 6Then they are no longer two people, but one. And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together."

When the bible says that they became like one person that means they had sexual intercourse. The man and the woman are like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. When we have sex outside of marriage the bible says that we defile ourselves.

To be defiled means to be made dirty, polluted and foul; I promise you one thing, if you do get involved in sexual activity outside of marriage you are going to end up feeling dirty, foul and used. God loves you so much that He does not want you to feel like that; that’s why He wants you to wait until your married.

Now I want to talk a little about anal sex specifically. Our bodies were not created to have anal sex; the purpose of the anus is to eliminate body waste (poop) it’s meant for stuff to come out of it not go in. The anus is a very tight muscle and it needs to be tight so that we can “hold it” until we get to the bathroom; anal sex causes damage to that muscle and after a while it will no longer be able to hold your waste in and you will experience anal leakage; which means that you can’t control your bowels. I have heard of people who used to have anal sex and now have to wear adult diapers and I’m not talking about senior citizens. Anal sex causes your anal muscle to tear and bleed, it can lead to serious digestive problems, constipation, irregularity (of bowel movements), and ultimately to cancer of the rectum. How about STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases)? Yes, you can get STD’s with anal sex and your chances of getting AIDS are higher than with vaginal sex. Your anus was just not created for sex.

So to sum this up: Love yourself the way God loves you and stay pure (all over) until the day you marry. Respect yourself and ask the man in your life to respect you too. If he really loves you he wouldn’t want to do anything to you that would hurt you.

This Is Not the Life I Want For Myself

A Friend Wrote: Going through some crazy drama and don't even know why. Everything is too much for me that I'm gonna start going to church every sunday starting this sunday coming up, I come to realize that I need god in my life and just need to start my life fresh. This is not the life I want for myself... Been doing a lot of thinking to myself and need to just do and stop thinking so much about it but at times I just feel like given up on myself...

Reply: ... I can understand why you're tired of that way of life. There are so many factors that will rot away at your heart... drinking, sex, surrounding yourself with bad company, to name a few.

I can definitely say that God's made such a big difference in my life and I'm positive He will do the same for you. Knowing that HE loves you unconditionally and accepts you as you are is an incredible feeling! There's no need to feel ashamed or be down on yourself with Christ. Going to church, building a relationship with the Lord is the 1st step towards starting fresh.

I think you have to reconsider how you're spending your free time. Drinking as much as you've been is not good for you. Alcohol may mask your worries, fears & troubles for a little while but it doesn't make them go away. Once you sober up, they are still waiting for you... and you may have a couple of more issues like not remembering what you did while you were drunk. or having to ask other people what you did or didn't do. Or regretting your actions or words.

1 Thessalonians 5:4-8
“You are all children of the light and of the day, and do not belong to darkness and night. So be on your guard not asleep like the others. Watch for his return and stay sober. Night is the time for sleep and the time when people get drunk. But let us who live in the light keep sober..”

About sex... You body is as sacred as a temple. You should preserve it and not give it to whomever gives you the most attention at the time. Men will say what they can in order to fulfill their desires, it doesn't mean that they care for you or will be there for you. Multiple partners (especially in only a few months) is not healthy, physically or emotionally. Do you realize how many diseases/illnesses you're opening yourself up to? You're not sleeping with just that person... in a sense, you're sleeping with everyone they've laid down with. And emotionally, how is that effecting your self esteem? self worth? You are a valuable treasure. YOU are a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out and should be treated with respect and honor.

Psalm 139: 13,14
He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!

Deut. 7:16
We are His cherished treasure

Song of Solomon 1:15
He thinks we’re beautiful

I value you as a friend and I pray for you all the time. I pray that you will build a relationship with God and He will direct you down the right path. I pray for your happiness. I pray for you to be blessed 10 times over, as God intended.

I'm glad to hear you say you want to seek God and I'd like to invite you to my church's service on Sunday. But please, whether you make it to service this week or not, please think about your lifestyle. Begin by dropping communication with those that hinder you and stop the drunken partying. It will only widen the darkness in your heart.

I love you and am praying for you.

Saved By Faith


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Respecting My Decision

Question:
I'm celibate now and I have been for like 4 months (doin my BEST)...is it possible to find a man who will wait til marriage AND remain faithful??? Even a preacher will cheat on their spouse!

Answer:
First off I would like to commend you on your decision to be celibate. That's a difficult decision to make in todays society. I know that it can be difficult at times but it shows that you have a lot of strength and self respect.

Secondly, finding a man who will respect your choice is very possible. All things are possible with God! First you need to find a man that loves and holds God in his heart. A man who knows the Lord will agree with your decision because he also wants to please the Lord. A man that walks with God will understand that sex before marriage is a sin in God's eyes. If he loves the Lord he will love, respect, and support you. I know that God will honor your choice and place a man in your life who will do the same. Together, with God's help, you can develop a healthy relationship that eventually lead to marriage.

I pray that God continues to give you strength, patience, and the man that He sees fit for you. Remember to trust God, He knows what He's doing.

Here is an article that you may find helpful.
It's called 10 Ways to Practice Purity by Ron Hutchcraft. He wrote it for Campus Life's, Ignite Your Faith magazine. I found the suggestions to be very realistic. I encourage you to read this article. I pray you find it helpful.

10 Ways to Practice Purity by Ron Hutchcraft


When you fall in love, it's natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it's a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible. Here are some suggestions:

1) Keep innocent expressions special. Rather than making the innocent expressions a mere prelude to the "heavier stuff," make the most of them. Let holding hands mean something. Express tenderness by simply putting your arms around each other. Make sure a kiss communicates true feeling and isn't just the first step to further physical involvement.

2) Pace your passion. Every marathon runner knows that you don't use up your energy at the beginning of the race; you need most of it at the end. Pacing your passion means that you realize you're trying to remain pure all the way to your wedding day. It's OK to express your love in little ways, but don't start messing with the package that is sex. To get real practical, avoid French kissing and petting—anything that is sure to ignite the fires of passion.

3) Don't feed your fantasies. It's normal to think about sex sometimes. In fact, with the way advertising and Hollywood exploit sex, it would be impossible not to think about it. So choose your entertainment carefully. Soap operas, certain songs, books, television shows, movies and Web sites only turn up the pressure. Feeding your thought life with junk only makes it harder to remain pure in your actions.

4) Remember whose property you're touching. You do not own the person you're dating. That person belongs to God. Imagine there's a sign on everyone you date that reads: PROPERTY OF JESUS.

5) Make a promise to God, and daily renew your commitment. Decide where you're going to draw the line, and tell God that with his help, you are not going to cross that line until marriage. Don't commit to it unless you mean it, though. The Bible says it's a serious thing to make a vow to God. At the same time, realize that you can't stick to your promise without his help. That's why it's important to renew your commitment daily.

6) Acknowledge Jesus' presence on every date. Before a date, it's normal to spend a lot of time getting ready. After all, you want to look your best. But you also want to make sure you're spiritually prepared. So spend at least as much time in prayer as you do in front of a mirror. As it says in Proverbs 3:6: "Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths."

7) Agree on your standards. Before sex becomes an issue in the relationship, talk about your standards with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't dwell only on the negative—what you won't do. Hebrews 10:24 tells us to "encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds." Discuss ways your friendship can help each of you become a better person.

8) Don't always go it alone. Sure, you want to be alone with your date; that's only normal. Yet too much time alone can lead you to do things you'll regret later. Your relationship will be a lot healthier if you spend time with each other's families and friends.

9) Put real love first. Genuine love always respects the other person. It never says, "If you love me, you'll … " Real love says instead, "Since I care about you so much, I will respect you, treat you with kindness, and never ask you to do something you know or feel is wrong."

10) Declare a new beginning. If you think you've already given away too much, don't give up. The beauty of Christianity is that sins are forgiven and erased (see "A Second Chance at Virginity?" on page 38). You can start over today.

With Love,
Daughter of Destiny

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

He Said I'm Ugly...

QUESTION: ok in 6th grade i met this boy... mi first boyfriend who treated me bad... ithought... he never wanted to be around me wit his friends n called me names but i relly like him.. he was my first kiss n so i thought at the time love.... we went on n off datin about a year... n then he just dumped me... i was heartbroken.... for nights i cried myself tosleep he hurt me that bad... i thought that this was the way all relationships are... i have garded my heart ever since... then next year this guy liked me so i let him do what he pleased.. i kissed him when he wanted me to n i let him fill me up... i was hurt n confused... i tryed to use him to get over this guy... i dated a many guys since him... once i made the biggest mistake n stayin wit a guy who beat on me... just becasue he made me feel beautiful... i dumped him when i couldnt take it n e more... i dated many guys since him...but i gaurged my heart not to get attached...i even got to the point where i didnt want a guy to tuch me... i wanted a boyfriend but i was afraid if i kissed him or somthing hed say i was wrong or i was ugly or not good enough... recently my first crush from 6th grade got back intouch wit me... he told me that he thought i was ugly back then so he dumped me... n he still thinks that... i dont no y but i give him so much power.... help... i told him it doesnt bother me but it does

ANSWER: I think you should take some time for yourself. Really get to know you and accept and love yourself exactly as you are. God created you as a beautiful treasure. In His eyes, you are more precious than anything on Earth. And that is something you should always remember. Surround yourself with positive friendships. I suggest you go on a “no boyfriend” fast and just take time to draw closer to the Lord. The word of God tells us that if we seek the things of God first… His righteousness, His peace, His direction, His comfort, His will for our life, His kingdom… everything else we want & desire will be given to us b/c as a result of seeking him, our desires will line up with His will for our life.

I would suggest that you reexamine your commitment to Him. He does not desire that you spend your time looking for love from ungodly men that are just going to use and abuse. You are a child of the most High God. Your body is the temple of God and is meant ONLY to be shared with the man that God has for you, your husband. If you keep on this path, you may end up pregnant, unequally yoked with some guy that’s never going to love and appreciate you or your child. You don’t need baby daddy drama. Focus on your studies. Forget about boys for now. Take this time to allow God to help you develop into a beautiful Godly woman, secure with herself & her faith because of what Christ Jesus has done for us.

James 4:8
Hebrews 10:22
1 Corinthians 3:16
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
Ephesians 5:3
Song of Solomon 1:15
Zechariah. 2:8

Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Love Triangle

ANONYMOUS WROTE: (names are changed for anonymity) I was best friends with Noah for 3 yrs. We dated for awhile but things didn’t work out. Noah & I broke things off because he did some really stupid things at his ex’s and he scared everyone. my brother stopped a lot of bad things from happening that night. Another reason why it didn’t work out is because I still had feelings for my ex, Andrew, and he & I would hang out once in awhile. Even though Andrew calls me b/c he wants to see me, we end up arguing. He’s even called his ex to come over before I would leave his house! Well it was Andrew’s birthday and he wanted me to go out to the lake with him so I did... and he ended up ditching me to go with some other girls. So I was hanging out with everyone, enjoying myself when this really gorgeous guy Darren comes up and I looked into his eyes and we connected. We had a great weekend and exchanged numbers. We’ve had some deep talks on the phone. We write each other and he is worried that I love another guy... I do... I think. I told Darren that I love someone else and that didn’t go to well.. I think I messed that up and I really like him.... but I think he will stick with me and work this out. But there’s still Andrew... he keeps calling. He wants me to go out to his farm with him during harvest to keep him company... and I can’t say no.... I’m lost... fer reals


ANSWER: I read your email a couple of times to make sure I fully understand your situation. I think the first thing you should take into consideration is respect… respect given and respect received. Respect given is self respect and the respect you give others. Self respect is very important because it sets a foundation on how you will and will not allow others to treat you. God created you out of His undying love for you. Before you were in your mother’s womb He set forth a life and love for you that you must cherish. “He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!” (Psalm 139: 13,14) God’s love combined with prayer should inspire you, give you the insight and self-respect and love you need in order to make sound decisions in every area.

Deut. 7:16; Song of Solomon 1:15; Zech. 2:8

The drama with Noah sounds like he lacks self control. Although you built a friendship with him originally, he seems a little unstable. God wants His children to be stable… to be rooted. The bible uses the analogy of building your house on rock or sand (Matthew 7:24-27). Let me briefly explain:

If you build a house on sand and a terrible storm comes, you’re house is going to fall apart because it wasn’t built on a strong foundation. But if you build your house on the rock, it will last through the storm.

For Noah, his careless ways are like building his house on sand. Eventually, it’s going to fall apart. Situations like this are when you really have to evaluate your friendships. I suggest that you pray for him. His being out of control at his ex’s house shows that he’s allowed the enemy to work in his life, taking full control. Pray that Noah finds love in the Lord and is able to settle his ways in order to better provide for his children and himself. Be positive, stay focused, and pray for his salvation. It is very important that we pray for not only our friends and family, but also for those who have hurt us.

The best gift anyone can give to another is to pray for him or her. We live in a sinful world where bad things happen to people and people are tempted to sin. Praying for another person not only helps that person find God in the midst of trouble, but also helps us recognize the blessings that God gives us daily!

1 Timothy 2:1-5; James 1:13-15

Andrew and you seem to be caught in a yo-yo effect, going up and down. This is also not a healthy situation and is like you building on sand too. His blatant lack of respect should serve as a reminder for you… God intended you to be with someone that is respectful, that loves you wholeheartedly, and has a growing relationship with the Lord. I would suggest you not go to the farm to visit Andrew. Take some time to yourself. Meditate in the Word. Read and really try to understand the good things our Heavenly Father has planned for you. He will bring you someone that does not cause so much despair.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance?" (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

Darren is new and exciting. New and exciting should still be taken at a slow pace. Love is something very serious and isn’t shared with just anyone. It takes time to build your relationship with God so why wouldn’t the same apply to a guy?? Develop a friendship with Darren, don’t rush into anything. Always work on your relationship with the Lord first, making sure you are rooted in your faith. God will bring your mate in your life in His due time. Be patient.

We just wrote an article that might help you… My Heart Skipped A Beat

Sincerely,

Saved By Faith

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies