Should They Be Friends for the Sake of the Child?

Anonymous said...
I need advice... I love my boyfriend very much but sometimes I feel like I can't handle the situation I'm in. My boyfriend has a son with another girl. Although we have been together for three years it still gets to me sometimes. I love his son and he cares a lot for me also but I don’t get along with his ex. I guess because she has already made up her mind that she doesn't like me and doesn't want anything to do with me it makes it uncomfortable my boyfriend around her. I get along with her whole immediate family but she is very manipulative and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings but her own. She has done some pretty bad things (in the beginning) to sabotage mine and my boyfriends relationship. Although she hasn't apologized for it I do forgive her and am ready to move on. I don’t have a problem with my boyfriend talking to her only if it concerns their son together. My boyfriend tells me that he has no feelings for her but with my past experiences tell me I can't be too careful. He asked me the other day, what would I do if they became friends? (They don't have much of a relationship right now) and what if she wanted to go out to lunch with him? That hurt when he said that and I thought that would be totally inappropriate. He says he wants to marry me so I figured if he was so serious about us that he shouldn’t put himself in situations where he can fall into her trap. I trust my boyfriend, I don’t trust her at all and a part of me is afraid he will allow her to take advantage of him. I guess I really want to know if there should be some line they shouldn’t cross or if I’m overreacting.

Response...
I do not see a problem with them being friends for the sake of the child. It is wonderful when parents can communicate amicably when discussing the upbringing of their children. It is much more productive. It is also less stressful for the parents and most importantly the child. However, I do think there should most definitely be reasonable boundaries between your boyfriend and his ex.
Going out to lunch or dinners together alone may be a door way for temptation. So I do not think that is a wise move. We are to run from anything that could possibly lead us to temptation. The best thing is that they communicate when they are either picking up or dropping off the child from visitation. They also should be able to communicate via phone between visits if necessary to discuss issues or concerns regarding the rearing of their child. There should definitely be open communication. However, you have to pray that your boyfriend has wisdom to cut the conversation if they steer off to other inappropriate topics.

I know that you are concerned about the past and this woman’s alleged manipulation tactics, but this is something that you are going to have intensely pray about. You have said that you have forgiven her, so then you have to let it go. Move on. Don’t meditate on the past. Perhaps you can call her and tell her that you do not wish to have any strife between you two for the sake of their child. Let her know that you would like to help them in any way possible.

If she doesn’t receive what you have to say. Then just leave it alone. Let him deal with her. Your job is to support your boyfriend and help with the child when he is with you. If you are planning to get married then you will become your husband’s helpmate.

Talk to him and let him know that you feel uncomfortable with them being too friendly. Assure him that you trust him, but that you are concerned that her motives are not completely innocent. Ask God to give you the words to speak to him when you address these issues. Be understanding and patient because he does have a reasonability to communicate with her if he wants to be included in the rearing of their child. The worse thing is when the father is torn between his girlfriend/wife and the mother of his kids. Whether he likes it or not he is responsible to help his ex.

If you are considering marrying this young man you are entering into this marriage knowing tha you are going to have baba mama drama. I hope that you are prepared. The only thing that can truly prepare you for the potential battle is the Word of God. You need to be prayed up and full of the Word of God. You see, the bible (Word of God) will give you comfort, direction, hope, and understanding. It will renew your mind and give you wisdom to handle your life God’s way and His way is always better and more fruitful. It is time to submit to Him and allow Him to become Lord of your life. He will make all of your crooked paths straight and help you on this journey through life.

He will never leave you alone without any hope. Even when things seem to stressful or the world seems to be caving in on your He will reassure you that you will be ok. He has your back. But you have to put your life in His hands.

You will see that when you start truly trusting Him and you find favor with him. He will put your enemies at your feet. I just read a scripture the other day that I loved. It is Proverbs 16:7 and it says, “When people’s lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them.” That is great isn’t it!!??

So seek first the kingdom of God and his way of doing things and you will see that all these others things He will take care of.

I will be praying for you sister.

Be blessed.

Love,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God visit this link

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I Decided to Stay Pure... the Girl Offered Him Sex

Anonymous commented:
Hi....I need some really good advices...I've been going out with my bf for 5 months...everything was doing good until when I found flirtatious messages on his phone... I asked what was it about? After lying so much to me, it admitted that he met an old friend of his and it happened that they kissed and he said that was the only thing that happened. I beleived him and I told him that next time he does something like this ..I'm gonna break up with him...yesterday I found out that he had sex with the same girl that he kissed 6 weeks ago...I asked him why did he do that ? he told me since I decided to stay pure until mariage... the girl offered him to have sex, it found it as an opportunity..he said that he's sorry and he's willing to change but I don't know if he is really sincere...I wanna leave him so bad but deep inside I wanna give him a second chance .i dont know what to do..please give me some Godly advices.

Saved By Faith answered:
Dear sister, I’m glad that you’ve chosen to remain pure until marriage. That is a very difficult and yet responsible decision. Although 5 months seems like an eternity, you and he are still getting to know one another. And the fact that he’s lied and cheated doesn’t help the situation.

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man,
but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Proverbs 12:22
The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in men who are truthful.

God’s intended partner for you will have the same beliefs and will respect your decision to live a Christian life, as he will be following the same lifestyle. Your intended partner will not use your beliefs as a crutch or excuse to disrespect your relationship. He will love Christ, be honest and will genuinely care for you. That is the person that God has for you.

Psalm 15:2-3
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

I think you should take into consideration the length of the relationship and how long into it that he violated its sanctity. He was so quick to have an excuse to stray… you have to be able to fully trust your partner.

Knowing the word of God should make your decision a little clearer. Pray that God gives you the wisdom (James 1:5) and strength to make a sound, healthy decision.

I will pray for you.

Your sister,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Saved By Faith said...
I've returned to your question because it's been weighing heavy on my heart...

I don’t think you should continue a relationship with this guy. He’s violated the relationship and, in a sense, has tried to belittle your obedience to God for his own satisfaction.

Keep your focus on the Lord and He will bring you your life partner.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

In God’s time, you will have a man who:
- shows you respect
- makes you feel safe
- demonstrates his faith in God

Here are a couple of resources that you might find enlightening:

10 Ways to Practice Purity by Ron Hutchcraft

Christianity Today, Ignite Your Faith

Pt4 Cont. From I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

Continued from:
- I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

Anonymous Responds: you remember my problem with the boyfriend who cheated with the two babies my parents didnt like him rember me asking you for advice well he crys to me everynight on the phone i feel so bad for him its hard watching someone try hard knowing what you know that no matter how bad i feel my parents will never approve of him and He spent 50 dollars on red roses to send to me tommarrow around 3:30 and a bouqet usually cost 12 dollars so spending 50$ i dont know how to handle this anymore................what to do please .....he said that he has been praying more i dunno i feel like super bad but he cheated but yeah i dunno what to do i really really dont i know i still have love for him but its so omgosh i need help badly

Response: For some reason you did not get my response and I can't find it any where in my sent box..

You have to be strong about this. Don't take him back. He is on the rebound and still unsure of what he wants. Even though he seems to be convincing don't fall for it. He is too fresh out a long relationship. Don't get yourself into a situation that you will regret.

Stop communicating with him and let him move on with his life. These are times where you have to draw close to God and trust Him to help you and give you strength. He promises that if you will draw close to Him then He will draw close to you, but you really have to surrender your will to God's will.

You saw your prayer answered, don't doubt what God is showing you. He doesn't want you settling for this relationship.

Don't forget that this young man just recently was initmate with his children's mother. His ex who he was with 5 years. If he didn't have some feelings for her then he would not have been with her recently.

Don't allow yourself to be used and abused. That is not God's will for your life.

Be strong..

Trophy of Grace

Anonymous Replied: thanks :)

They're Trying To Break Us Up

A Friend Asked: ok so my boyfriend a week before he met me was gonna ask this gurl out but she said she was 2 busy and then he met me.
what im trying 2 say is my best friend is trying 2 break us up.
and that gurl that almost went with him is trying 2 steal him from me so what do i do?

Response:I think the relationship is between you & him… not to include anyone else’s thoughts or opinions about it. If the two of you want to be together then your best friend should respect that… as long as it’s a healthy relationship. If there are outside people trying to interfere, the two of you really have to trust one another and be able to endure whatever rumors, gossip or trouble they make.

Is it something that the two of you want to continue? Is he in this relationship just as much as you? Before devoting any more time and effort into this, find out where he stands about the relationship. You should have the same dedication and desire to continue to be together. If either one of you are faulty there, it will eventually fall apart. You have to be strong and endure the criticism.

Ungodly efforts will be thrown your way, testing you in every situation. This could be a test of endurance and faithfulness for you & him. This could be the deciding factor on what kind of relationship you will have… whether it’s a friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend, or acquaintances. Discuss this with your boyfriend. Also, talk to your best friend. Speak to her out of love, letting her know how you feel and how her interference makes you feel.

Pray about your relationship and the storms it’s going through. Pray that God gives you the clarity you need to see your way through this, regardless of the outcome.

I will pray for you as well.

Romans 15:5
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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How Do I Tell Him That I Cheated?

Anonymous Asked: I need advice... I have been with my boyfriend over two year and in the past I have cheated on him twice. He has never cheated on me (that I know of) but I was upset at the fact that his ex would try to ruin our relationship and how he would say a lot to defend her.

I had trust issues because of that since the beginning of our relationship. We argued a lot and I found out he was hiding pornography behind my back. I felt betrayed and didn’t know what else he was hiding from me. We would break up for a couple weeks and then get back together again.

Both of the times that I cheated was while we weren't together and with guys I didn't know. The last time I cheated on him was over a year ago and since then our relationship has improved greatly because we have chosen to live obediently for the Lord.

Although we aren't rushing into marriage I feel that our relationship is heading in that direction but I feel a heavy burden knowing what I've done.

Should I confess to my boyfriend what I did and hope he forgives me? Or is it better to just move forward. I know that I cheated out of stupidity. I was trying to live my life without God and was out partying and drinking. It's a life I no longer desire and something I want to forget.

Reply: I think that technically, since you guys weren’t together during these actions, it’s not considered cheating. But at the same time, it’s something you’ve kept secret from him. Knowing your relationship is headed towards marriage, you want to know that the both of you are entering it with an open, honest, and trustful bond, just as you want your premarital relationship to be. God does not intend for us to harbor any feelings of guilt or shame. We must be honest in all facets of our lives... honest to the Lord; honest to ourselves; honest to others.

Deuteronomy 25:13-16
13 Do not have two differing weights in your bag—one heavy, one light. 14 Do not have two differing measures in your house—one large, one small. 15 You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 16 For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.

Let your boyfriend know about the time spent while you were broken up. Considering you were not together at the time, he should be forgiving. It might be difficult for him to handle at first so please be patient.

You might also want to look into couples classes through your church. Some churches have premarital classes that help form stronger bonds, clarify the roles and responsibilities of marriage and help you better understand the commitment required for this kind of union. This will help solidify your marriage.

I will pray for the Lord to give you the words to speak to your boyfriend and for him to have a loving and forgiving heart.

With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

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Anonymous Asked... hey i know what your going thro i need advice simlar to that i have a boyfriend we been dating for 3 months he has 2 kids never married 23 i am only 19 so is his baby mama the babies are 2 and 1 boy and girl ..lately seems as tho he feels uncomfortable around both of us so she often trys to keep me and her apart ...i love him we are engaged..my family aint so crazy about the idea but yea.. the day he broke up with her is the day me and him met...conqincidental i dunno but ..we been dating 3 months and she has been jealous for the most part trying to break us up well now she has a b.f and her baby daddy my b.f is all on alert about the new guy he doesnt know and i am worried that maybe he does have alot of feelings for her if every time she comes around he trys to hide me..when she knows we are engaged and together i met his whole family so when it comes to her b.c they dated for 5 years he feels like its akward to see us in the same room i pray all the time what should i do ???? email me i need to know

Trophy of Grace said...
I can understand why your family isn’t too happy about this relationship moving so fast. Three months is hardly enough time to determine that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. Especially with someone who just recently got out of a five year relationship with two kids.

This is a very delicate situation that you have involved yourself in. Your fiancé is still recovering from a broken heart and failed dreams from a relationship that produced two children. If he is acting the way that you say then it seems to me that he most certainly still has feelings for the mother of his children. Of course he would because it’s only been three months. How could he possibly give your relationship the commitment it needs when she still has part of his heart and mind?

He’s focus really should be his children now. Not trying to get into another relationship on the rebound. You don’t need anyone’s sloppy seconds. That is what your relationship will be, sloppy. He’s trying to figure out what he really wants and what the right thing is to do. You don’t want to find yourself on the sidelines hoping that he isn’t still in love with her. Hoping that one day he will be completely yours. Do you want to have to compete for your future husband’s heart?

You have to do what’s best for you right now. Pray and really ask God if this is what He wants for your life. I believe that He has something better for you, but you have to be patient and wait. If you will begin to seek God’s will for your life He will give you the desires of your heart, because as you begin to seek Him your desires start to line up with God’s will. He has good gifts to give you. He has a good man in store for you. I’m sorry to say but I really do not think this man is for you. His heart still belongs to another.

My suggestion would be to leave this young man alone. Give him time and space to see if this is really what he wants. More importantly give your self space to pray and seriously seek God’s face about this. I would not want to see you hurt.

I will be praying for all of you,

God bless you

Trophy of Grace

** CONTINUED **
- Pt2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her



PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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He Cheats But Keeps Sayin All the Right Stuff

MySpacer Wrote: hey its me again well im going through a crazy brake up and i kno that i shouldnt go back with him because he cheated on me 2many times its just hard not to u kno i dont kno wat to do i love so much we have a kid 2getther but i dont want to go back to him he keeps sayin all the right stuff to me and i think im fallin 4it

Response: Hi. I know it's hard to break away from someone when you've invested so much emotion and time into him, especially if you have a child together. I was with my children's father on & off for 10 years. In that time he cheated almost constantly, we'd break up, he'd say all the right things and we'd get back together - for him to do the same thing again.

It takes courage and self control to break this cycle. One of the realizations that helped me see what I had to do was this... how can you make your child happy if you're not happy? God's blessed you with a child and it is your responsibility to provide a loving environment for him/her. Have the father's infidelities and all the arguments that come with that is not healthy, for anyone (you, him or the baby). Even at a young age, children can sense others' emotions.

Aside from being strong for your child, you also have to be strong for yourself. You are a child of God. You are more precious than gold. God's intended for you to be with someone that respects and loves you. You and your partner should have a monogamous relationship.

~ 1 Corinthians 13 ~
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Can you build a support chain with a couple of your friends or family members? Like, instead of calling him you call your specific friend instead. Pray for strength. Pray for endurance. Pray for God to help you make the right decision. Whether you're together or not, the both of you have the responsibility of raising your child. Now is the time, especially during hardships like this, when the TWO of you have to take your child into consideration first... before the "You" or "Me" comes into play.

I know it's a difficult time. I will pray for you in your time of need.

Dear Father God, please give her the strength and clarity she needs to make it through this situation. Please provide her with the means and motivation to make the right decisions for her and her child. Give her the opportunity to raise her child in a loving home with both parents active in his/her life.

Your Sister,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Together for 2 Yrs and I Can't Trust Him

QUESTION: HEY LADIES HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO SPEAK WELL HERE I GO

WELL THERE IS THIS I BEEN WITH FOR 2 YEARS ON AND OFF AND WE FINALLY ARE TRYIN TO GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE LAST TIME BUT HE DOESN'T TRUST ME AND I DNT TRUST HIM. WHEN WE TRY TO HOOK UP THERE'S ALWAYS A EXCUSE ABOUT HIM BEING BUSY. I'VE SEEN HIM TALK TO GIRLS AND GIVE HIS NUMBER OR TAKIN NUMBERS FROM THEM AND I'M GOIN THRU A LIL DOWN FALL BUT WHEN I CAN ALWAYS HELP HIM WHEN I CAN BUT I CAN'T SAY I CAN RELY ON HIM SO WHAT DO U THINK I SHOULD DO

ANSWER: Trust and communication is important in a relationship and it sounds like your relationship is lacking both. I know you’ve invested 2 years into something with him but I don’t think it’s healthy and sound. A couple of pointers that you should tell yourself everyday:

* You are a cherished treasure. (Deuteronomy 14:2) You are a wonderful creation in our Father’s eyes and should be blessed beyond measure. His intention is for His children to be filled with the Holy Spirit and happy. Strengthening your relationship with Christ will help accomplish this.

James 1:17-18
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13
“God has a wonderful plan for your life if you will only surrender your will to His.“

* God has designed someone to be with you and in His time, He will bring you together. It is so easy for us to react based on our emotions but be careful… emotions can be very deceiving! Pray and be patient. Allow God to place your intended partner in your life, a man that loves God and will love and honor you.

* Trust is pivotal in every relationship…family, friends and love. Without trust and communication, there is no foundation for that relationship. God intended us to have healthy, sound relationships with Godly people. People whom put God first, read the bible, and follow his commands. Establishing these kinds of friendships will have you realize day after day, how important trust and honesty is. You need uplifting relations! Friendships that draw near to God and praise Him… rejoice in His delights… and value you as you are.

Leviticus 19:11
"… Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.”

Hebrews 10:22
”let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water”

Deuteronomy 7:12
If you pay attention to these laws and are careful to follow them, then the LORD your God will keep his covenant of love with you, as he swore to your forefathers.

I hope that you take some time to yourself, get to know YOU again. Realize that you are so precious and deserve so much more than mistrust and deception. Pray. Draw closer to God. He will deliver you from this and bring you to a love that you will cherish forever.

James 4:8
Proverbs 3:5-6
1 Chronicles 16:34


With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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Internet Love

Anonymous Asks:
Hey. Well Im having a difficult time right now. Im not really sure what to do. I had an internet boyfriend from England, and I have never met him, but we did the whole web cam, and talked on the phone a few times. I managed to fall pretty hard for him. We argued a lot of the time, but we still cared about each other enough to use the word love. I was upset with him, and he decided he would end it for me, because I refused to because I still loved him. Anyway I went to see a friend of mine for the first time,and he only lives a couple hours from me. I really started liking this guy, and I thought things were over with my bf. Nothing happened between me and the other guy. My now ex, wants me back.I really care about him a lot...soo much, he even has a couple of interviews a couple states away from me to be closer, I didn't know this until after we broke it off and I told him about this other guy. Well I really don't know what to do...I had an amazing time with my guy friend, and I think it really has potential. But I really care about my BF and I dont want to hurt either of them. IDK if you know anything about this... it's kinda wild... but advice, would be great if you can help.


ANSWER:
I personally have never had a long distance relationship nor an internet relationship. I know that you may think that you love him but I think that you might be in love with the idea of him. The truth of the matter is that until you actually spend time with someone, face to face, you cant really say that you know them, much less love them.

Regarding the long distance internet b/f, I think you should let him go and move on with your life. Even if he moves a couple of states away its still going to be long distance, which has already proven to be a stressful on your relationship. When you first start off in a relationship spending time together face to face is vital to building strong bonds as well as trust and respect. Also, having a long distance relationship opens the door to a lot of temptation to both of you.

Concerning the other guy I would say be careful. You are in a fragile and vulnerable state. You just broke up with your b/f. You don't want to jump into another relationship on the rebound. I would suggest taking it slow and try to lean towards staying friends with him, rather than start a new relationship. He's also long distance.

My final suggestions would be to date someone closer to home, stop looking for the man, and allow God to bring him to you. You will see that God's ways are much better than ours. You have no idea the good things that God has planned for those that love and obey Him.

I will be praying for God to give you the strength and the wisdom as your making your decision.

Love,
Trophy of Grace

P.S
- The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth.
To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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He Liked My Friend, And Now He Wants to Date ME

Anonymous Asks:Thats really cool that you do that...well I need some advice then. What do you think about this meesage and mind you that I barely know this guy. It was my friends long lost friend , they just meet up back tohether a couple months ago and he was all like all about her and then saw me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I don't trust it as far as I can throw it but heres the message. Write me back so I can see what your opinon is.

Thanks a lot

ANSWER:I never got the message.. but based on what your telling me my advice to you would be this:

If you don't trust it your probably right. Remember this is your friend and you shouldn't ruin your friendship over an untrustworthy guy. To me (and this is only my opinion based on what you just told me) this guy is moving a lil too fast.

Try to maintain a friendship with him if thats possible. Dont jeopardize your relationship with your friend. I really cant give you an in depth answer without seeing the message.

P.S
- The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth.
To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


Daughter of Destiny

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How Do I Know If My Man Is Cheating?

J Wrote: Hi my name is J i have a boyfriend that loves me to death but i keep getting messages from other girls that are telling me that they are dating him.i want to believe him but i have no idea if he is telling me the truth or not what should i do???

How do I know if my man is cheating??

Answer: This is a hard question to answer. It’s hard to base decisions on gossip but your doubts are obviously there.

I don’t know what the girls’ motives are in telling you that they’re dating your boyfriend; only he and they know the truth. When I was with my ex, I dealt with the same situation. I had the same doubt, the same questions but I also had a gut feeling that something was happening. Some signs that raised my suspicions were his cell phone always on vibrate, late night calls, girls calling, excuses to be out late and wondering eyes.

I think you should pray about it and ask God that you not be deceived. God guides us and leads us into truth, especially when we ask him to reveal the truth to us. Do not ignore the signs. If you ask God, expect to receive an answer:

James 1:5-8
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

Whatever is in the dark will come to the light. Don’t make any rash decisions. Wait for the truth to be revealed.

Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

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Love Triangle

ANONYMOUS WROTE: (names are changed for anonymity) I was best friends with Noah for 3 yrs. We dated for awhile but things didn’t work out. Noah & I broke things off because he did some really stupid things at his ex’s and he scared everyone. my brother stopped a lot of bad things from happening that night. Another reason why it didn’t work out is because I still had feelings for my ex, Andrew, and he & I would hang out once in awhile. Even though Andrew calls me b/c he wants to see me, we end up arguing. He’s even called his ex to come over before I would leave his house! Well it was Andrew’s birthday and he wanted me to go out to the lake with him so I did... and he ended up ditching me to go with some other girls. So I was hanging out with everyone, enjoying myself when this really gorgeous guy Darren comes up and I looked into his eyes and we connected. We had a great weekend and exchanged numbers. We’ve had some deep talks on the phone. We write each other and he is worried that I love another guy... I do... I think. I told Darren that I love someone else and that didn’t go to well.. I think I messed that up and I really like him.... but I think he will stick with me and work this out. But there’s still Andrew... he keeps calling. He wants me to go out to his farm with him during harvest to keep him company... and I can’t say no.... I’m lost... fer reals


ANSWER: I read your email a couple of times to make sure I fully understand your situation. I think the first thing you should take into consideration is respect… respect given and respect received. Respect given is self respect and the respect you give others. Self respect is very important because it sets a foundation on how you will and will not allow others to treat you. God created you out of His undying love for you. Before you were in your mother’s womb He set forth a life and love for you that you must cherish. “He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out!” (Psalm 139: 13,14) God’s love combined with prayer should inspire you, give you the insight and self-respect and love you need in order to make sound decisions in every area.

Deut. 7:16; Song of Solomon 1:15; Zech. 2:8

The drama with Noah sounds like he lacks self control. Although you built a friendship with him originally, he seems a little unstable. God wants His children to be stable… to be rooted. The bible uses the analogy of building your house on rock or sand (Matthew 7:24-27). Let me briefly explain:

If you build a house on sand and a terrible storm comes, you’re house is going to fall apart because it wasn’t built on a strong foundation. But if you build your house on the rock, it will last through the storm.

For Noah, his careless ways are like building his house on sand. Eventually, it’s going to fall apart. Situations like this are when you really have to evaluate your friendships. I suggest that you pray for him. His being out of control at his ex’s house shows that he’s allowed the enemy to work in his life, taking full control. Pray that Noah finds love in the Lord and is able to settle his ways in order to better provide for his children and himself. Be positive, stay focused, and pray for his salvation. It is very important that we pray for not only our friends and family, but also for those who have hurt us.

The best gift anyone can give to another is to pray for him or her. We live in a sinful world where bad things happen to people and people are tempted to sin. Praying for another person not only helps that person find God in the midst of trouble, but also helps us recognize the blessings that God gives us daily!

1 Timothy 2:1-5; James 1:13-15

Andrew and you seem to be caught in a yo-yo effect, going up and down. This is also not a healthy situation and is like you building on sand too. His blatant lack of respect should serve as a reminder for you… God intended you to be with someone that is respectful, that loves you wholeheartedly, and has a growing relationship with the Lord. I would suggest you not go to the farm to visit Andrew. Take some time to yourself. Meditate in the Word. Read and really try to understand the good things our Heavenly Father has planned for you. He will bring you someone that does not cause so much despair.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance?" (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

Darren is new and exciting. New and exciting should still be taken at a slow pace. Love is something very serious and isn’t shared with just anyone. It takes time to build your relationship with God so why wouldn’t the same apply to a guy?? Develop a friendship with Darren, don’t rush into anything. Always work on your relationship with the Lord first, making sure you are rooted in your faith. God will bring your mate in your life in His due time. Be patient.

We just wrote an article that might help you… My Heart Skipped A Beat

Sincerely,

Saved By Faith

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It's so hard to forgive

Question:
hello! I'm going to go ahead and tell you my story! I hope you dont mind! im a small town girl, i graduated in December of 07. my best friend in 9th grade was a big influence on me. she was not a virgin and i was, i wanted to be like her and when i hung out with her she always had a boyfriend. the end of our ninth grade year we each dated senior for a month or so and i lost my virginity! i told myself not to hang around her because i knew i was getting myself into trouble but i did it anyways! the summer of my ninth grade year i met Kenny! i was so in love! we broke up two years later and last summer i met Kelly Fisher, he was a great friend and always made me smile. we had a lot in common and both were Christians! i told my mom that i thought i found a special guy! she was happy for me, and last year on the 4th of July we kissed. i didn't think he felt the same. we started dating and in august he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. i was heart broken and he knew it. in December he called me and told me that his little sister wanted to see me and hang out with me(she is 6) it was Christmas eve and he asked me to go to church with him and his family also. he took me out on our first date since our break up, and we have been inseparable since then. he tells me that im his soul mate and he is sorry from the bottom of his heart. and swears he will never do it again! its hard to believe him but i love him. he is deploying in August and I'm scared for my life. I'm scared he is going to cheat again and i don't know what to think... can you help me?

Answer:
Yes we can help... so heres whats i think.. To me it sounds like he loves you very much and just really needs you to forgive him and trust him. Everyone can make a mistake. And if hes trying to please God give him a chance. I went thorough the same things. I'm married now (just 2 weeks) and when we were dating (for 8 years) my b/f hurt me several times. In fact we hurt each other. God touched our hearts and we dedicated our lives to Christ. He is now a wonderful man. We both repented and asked God for forgiveness. Please be quick to forgive. We are only human. I'm not telling you to let someone walk all over you, we must forgive and use wisdom in all our relationships. I know that its painful, I've been there. Sometimes forgiveness is hard to do. And to forget is even harder. But for the sake of this relationship to work you have to let it go. Pray for him as he goes off to serve his country. Pray that the Lord will keep him under the wings of angels and bring him home to you safely.. I will be praying for you here!

With love,

Daughter of Destiny

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Relationship In Jeopardy

Anonymous ask.. My fiance is in the army and he says he loves me but the other night he invited a girl over to his place to watch movies alone on his bed. I found out about it and i asked him and he said that he planned it to hurt me but he loves me and doesn't want it to end. Is our relationship in jeopardy? I love him to death and I told him. I have been honest with him I just haven't been open with my feelings because he keeps lying to me. What do I do? Please can you help me?

Answer..I know how hurt you are. It is a terrible feeling to be betrayed by someone you love and are contemplating spending the rest of your life with. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Marriage is a serious commitment that too many young people take lightly. I urge you to really seek God's face about whether or not this man is for you. If he is going around watching movies on beds with other women, could he be sleeping with them too? If so, what if he brings you a venereal disease or worse Aids?

Sometimes God will shed the light on our circumstances so that we can see the Truth. He does not want us to be deceived. He wants to guide us and lead us if we will let Him, but the choice is ours. We can trust God or continue following our own deceitful hearts and ever changing emotions.

Please..please..before marrying this man. Pray with a sincere heart for God to help you make the right decision.I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,
Trophy of Grace

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