Friendship

Written by Blessed and Highly Favored

Commitment: The act of pledging, the process of or engaging oneself; entrusting as for safekeeping.

Convenience: Absence of that which annoys; personal wellbeing; that which gives ease or comfort or makes work less difficult and complicated; a condition personally favorable or suitable; advantage.

In my life, I can count on one hand many true friends I’ve had. Friends who really love me, who would be willing to do most anything for me, and who always tell me the truth despite how much it might hurt. Those people know how to make a commitment.

The term “friend” is a word thrown around a lot. “Friend” could mean a guy you’ve been dating but you don’t want your parents or other pals to start asking questions (no sense in letting the whole world know your business, right?) “Friend” could mean starting up a relationship with a girl you’ve just met. “Friend” could mean someone you’ve known for a long time, but you mainly hang out to keep from getting bored, in a casual, I’ve-got-nothing-else-to-do attitude.

Now those “friends” (the ones who keep you from being bored) will tell you what you want to hear and WILL drop you like a bad habit if something else better comes along. You don’t mean anything to them. What you are, are ACQUAINTANCES. You may have common interests, the same likes/dislikes, but the relationship never gets any deeper than surface, unimportant chatter. Sometimes we sacrifice deeper relationships for shallow ones because you can have a lot of “friends” (lots of friends=popularity, right? And we all want to be popular?) As if the greater number of people you know means they all like you? Not!

God shows us how to be friends to one another, how to have deeper friendships. One example is found in 1 Samuel 18 between Jonathon, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, and David, the second king of Israel. The relationship between Jonathon and David was one of deep respect, love and admiration. They loved each other closer than brothers. Jonathon protected David when Jonathon’s father, Saul, continually tried to kill David. However, despite Saul’s attempts, David still had reverence for Saul, not only as King, but as the father of his best friend. When Saul and Jonathon and the other sons were killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they were stripped, beheaded and fastened to a wall in Beth Shan. When David was given this news, he was in mournful agony and ordered that their bodies be removed from such desecration and be buried with dignity and respect entitled to a king and his family.

In our relationships with each other, take an inventory of your “friends;” Are they commitments or conveniences? Think about it. Do you make plans with someone, and then change them at a moments notice and always expect them to “understand because they are your friend?” Do you “forget” to include them for certain events because other people might not like them, and your association with them might not get you invited to other “cool” events? Do you plan to do something special with them, and then decide to invite others along without bothering to ask if it would be all right? Then if they said no, it’s not all right; would you get all upset and pout, and wonder what the big deal was? Do you ever so slightly shade the truth with them (lie) so that you don’t look like the bad guy? Are you spending time with them because it’s an excuse to get out of the house and go somewhere?

Sorry, you are treating those people like conveniences, under the guise of being a “friend” and going through the motions. In fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what being a friend is all about. Actually, you’re the fraud, pretending to care about someone, but treating them like a disposable diaper.

Commitment as a friend requires you think about them first, rather than yourself. To cherish them and to honor their heart. That is what binds friends together through thick and thin. You can depend on them; open your heart, and share thoughts, dreams and desires in the safety of that relationship. Honesty must be the cornerstone. To lie and deceive is about selfishness and the first blow of destruction.

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.”

Proverbs 27:9, “Oil and perfume make glad the heart and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.”

Proverbs 27:16, “He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.”

Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so a man makes sharp his friend.”

So if you go changing the deck chairs of your personal relationships, it’s important to be gracious and congenial to people who you have moved to the outer edges of your heart. It gives them a clue that the relationship has changed and allows them the decision to continue to invest themselves in you or to be satisfied with the shift or to simply move on to other more meaningful relationships. To do otherwise is cruel and speaks volumes to your lack of character.

Allow time to cultivate friendships: They can last a lifetime if you’re willing to count them on one hand.

I'm Sorry

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

I’m Sorry:

I always argued with you.
I never listened to you.
I wasted my potential on immediate gratification.
I gave away the precious things I thought as common.
I held on to my anger.
I didn’t forgive.
I let fear rule me.
I couldn’t think further than the next ten minutes.
I used you.
I didn’t value you.
I’m always quick to criticize.
I stomped all over your heart.
I made you feel uncertain and worthless.
I thought I could find my worth and identity in a man.
I loved you with conditions.
I always fall short.
I never think about anyone other than myself.
I’m selfish.
I’m prideful.
I wasn’t there when you needed me.
I thought you needed a friend when what you really needed a parent.
I never told you that you were the best thing in my life.
I let you raise yourself.
I wasn’t strict enough.
I let other things get in the way of us.
I let the little things slide.
I never told you about G-d, and just let you figure things out on your own.
I wanted to spend time with my friends than spend time with you doing things that you wanted to do.
I haven’t told you in a long time how precious and valuable you are to me. And that if you were to go away and leave me, my heart would break and I would cry for your return.
I got lost and became something I never wanted to be.

Please forgive me. I’m sorry and I need a second chance. Jesus has come into my heart and I’ve become a Born Again mom. I want to start all over again. Please let me into your life and let me love you the way the Lord wants me to love you; totally, completely, entirely. I will not give you up to the world to raise you because all it can provide to you is a slow death. And Jesus is all about life. Let me in please. I love you.

Mom

In this Christmas season, let us remember it was not Jesus as a baby who paid the price of our salvation, but a grown man who made the decision to give up His life for ours. Remember His Love, and allow yourself the vulnerability to love tenaciously. Merry Christmas.

Let the Good Times Roll

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

“And she will have no more fear of change, being full of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge: the fear of the Lord is her wealth.” Isaiah 33:6

“So then, let your hearts be changed and be turned to G-d, so that your sins may be completely taken away, and times of blessings may come from the Lord”; Acts 3:19

I was a single girl, an early twenty-something living in New York City. I had moved to New York with $2000 in my pocket to prove to myself that I could really do anything I set my mind to. Not knowing anyone except some friends-of-some-friends I could contact in case I got in trouble, I had absolutely nothing lined up: no apartment, no job, nothing but raw, tenacious ambition and confidence in my ability to adapt, overcome and always end up a winner.

Within two weeks, I had an apartment and a job. The apartment was a sublet on the Upper West Side from a dancer who got a six-month gig in Las Vegas. The job came from an agency that sent me out on five interviews the first day. All five wanted me, so I picked the one that paid the most money. The job was a proofreader/storyboard editor at a small ad firm. I actually was paid to watch TV ads, listen to radio ads and become part of the creative process in advertising…in the Mecca of the ad world! Oh my, this was a wonderful life!

Life was exciting and fabulous. I was a working girl enjoying every bite of what the Big Apple had to offer. I went out most every night for dinner and dancing; and I always made an effort to see a Broadway show on the weekend or catch something at Lincoln Center.

Moreover, the smart, hot, eligible men were everywhere! At every turn, somebody wanted to “show me New York!” And I let them with wild abandon. It was so very intoxicating to be noticed, to be chased, to be caught, to enjoy a rendezvous, to move on with no commitments. I was never without male “companionship” and dated a lot. However, I never, ever brought anyone to my apartment, and I never gave them my home phone number. I always used the office number for contacts. I never wanted anyone to just to “drop by” and think they could have access to my personal life. I told men what they wanted to hear, and so long as I could have them physically, I really did not care much about them.

At the end of the six-month sublet, the dancer had another dancer friend in the West Village who needed someone to sublet his apartment for six months. I jumped on it! I lived on Christopher Street with an awesome view of the Twin Towers. The Village was like another whole world! Wow! I was loving life!

The only time I ever thought about going to church is when I passed St. Patrick’s in cab on the way to somewhere else. That was the extent of it. The baptism I had when I was 19 with Calvary Chapel in Riverside, CA was a distant memory, and although I discussed Christianity all the time, it was merely a topic to engage conversation. Sometimes I would feel the need to go to confession and spill my guts to someone, but I never made it knowing G-d was fully aware of what I was doing, and I could talk to Him at anytime…if I wanted to.

Then a strange thing happened.

I was sitting at my desk, having just come back from lunch, and I felt sick to my stomach. I did not have anything unusual for lunch; a sandwich, chips and a beer. I remember I had started to feel bloated and a little yucky over the weekend. I was a size 4, and watched my weight pretty well. Something didn’t feel right. Then, I almost did not make it to the restroom to get rid of my lunch. I felt awful, looked awful, took the rest of the day off, and went home to sleep. Stupid food poisoning.

However, the vomiting continued. I ended up in the emergency room looking for something to end this hurling. They poked, they prodded, and they drew blood. All the while, I never knew so much could come out of a little tummy. The doctor walked in with the labs and gave me the news, I did not have food poisoning as I suspected. I was pregnant. I remember it got very quiet, and the room narrowed. It was as though everything went into slow motion. I asked her to repeat herself. She told me again I was pregnant. Most likely about a month along because I told them when my last period was. How could that be? I was taking birth control and I never missed a pill!?! Well, she says these things happen and no pill is 100% effective. She told me that the nurse would give me information about options and that I was free to go after signing out. I just sat there stunned. Pregnant?

My dilemma was not only being pregnant, but also being single and having had multiple partners, I had no idea who was the father. This was a life changing moment; an event so profound, all I could do is sit on a bench and cry. And this being NYC, people just let you cry. They don’t let it faze them or even take a moment to ask why, they just keep on walking. I composed myself long enough to call the office and let them know I would be out for the rest of the week with food poisoning. I had to make time to think about what was going on, to make clear-headed decisions about my future.

I had no one to talk to. I had no girlfriends to confide in. I was too busy collecting boy toys. Other women to me were just stupid emotional children who were intellectually challenged who never had an original thought, or were aware of anything outside of their little “perfect” worlds. I couldn’t call my mother or my sister. They had NO IDEA what I had become and occasional phone calls kept it that way. I sat in my apartment, crying, weighing my options; be a mother; not be a mother; go back to school to finish my degree; not be a mother. I tried not to think about it for even a moment, and the reality came back smashing into my face.

In a moment of cold, unemotional thought, I made my decision and acted quickly. I thought about G-d, and what was right and what was wrong. But I never asked Him or prayed to Him for an answer. I just did what I thought was best for me.

I showed up at my appointment, cash in hand for my abortion. I filled out the paperwork, and just got down to business. In and out in a couple of hours and it would all be over. “It” would be dead, and so would a piece in me be dead. All the time I was in that building, I wanted to run and get out. I could smell the death, imagining the innocent bodies being extracted for convenience sake. But that wasn’t enough to change my mind as tears flowed down my cheeks. What kind of monster had I become to play a part in the assassination of my own child?

I finally thought, “G-d, please forgive me for what I am about to do. I know it’s wrong, and so against everything You are. I deserve hell and deserve all of the fire to consume me eternally. I deserve Your judgment. I am such a coward. What is the matter with me?” These thoughts raced through my head as I was being prepped. I lay on that table, did what I was told and felt the anesthesia course through my body, numbing my lips, of all things. A speculum was inserted, a masked and gowned doctor appeared, a machine was turned on, I felt an insertion, there was pressure inside me, and I could feel the probe removing tissue from my uterus. I could hear the machine sucking liquid and then it stopped. The doctor double tapped the inside of my thigh and said “good girl, all done!” And he left the room. I was moved to recovery.

It seemed like forever, but as soon I was able, I got dressed, listened to their instructions, and walked out into the sunlight, wondering if everyone knew I had just had an abortion. I knew my guilt was like a cloak of shame that everyone should see. I needed to disappear, and just be numb.

I scored a bag of marijuana, got a bottle of Jack Daniels and made a beeline to the nearest movie theatre. In those days, you could smoke in the theatre. I went to the mezzanine, lit up a cigarette, rolled a joint, and spent the entire day in a vegetative state. I don’t even remember the movie, but I know I spent at least 8 hours high and drunk. I don’t know how I made it home, but the next couple of days, all I did was smoke and drink my pain into some sort of submission. I was consumed with guilt and shame, but I put on a mask and pretended it happened to someone else. I continued in my lifestyle having many partners because at Studio 54, you could meet anyone and have anyone just for the asking.

Years go by, and I’m having a spiritual awakening. I’ve never told anyone what I had done, and I meet this girl who is witnessing to me about Jesus. She asks me directly, “What have you done that doesn’t deserve the redemption of Jesus Christ?” The abortion was the first thing in my mind, and I finally confessed it to someone. She said, “I’m not the one you should be talking to. Tell the Lord.” And I fell to my knees, them to my face on the carpet, and sobbed and cried and asked for forgiveness, not only for my “little” sins (OK, THERE ARE NO LITTLE SINS - SIN IS SIN - AND ANY OF IT SEPERATES US FROM A JUST G-D) but for taking a part in the murder of my child. I confessed my selfishness, my pride, my hard heart, etc. I think I was at her house for a good four hours just spilling my guts before G-d. And she was there giving comfort and unconditional love helping me through the process. That week I came back to the Lord and became Born Again.

So if you find yourself pregnant, contact the nearest Pregnancy Life Center. They can help you have your baby, and set things up for adoption. The greatest act of love you could ever do is to give your son/daughter the opportunity to grow up in a Christian two-parent household who will love that child as their own. Sacrifice your own desires and dedicate that child unto the Lord and let it go.

G-d is all about life, and giving it to us more abundantly. I made a crucial mistake in my life and I regret it to this day. But I know I will see my children who have gone on before me when I die. They will know me, and I will know them. Jesus forgave me of all of my sins and iniquities, including those that affected other people for my selfish gain. I am set free by the power of the Blood and I know I can stand blameless and Holy before a Holy G-d because of what He has done for me, in spite of my past, in spite of my sins, in spite of the death I brought on my own flesh. I am free of guilt and shame. Look what the Lord has done!

Healing From Sexual Abuse

Written by: Blessed & Highly Favored

A Continuation of Blessed & Highly Favored's Testimony: Locked Up Memories

As I wrote the other week, the beginning of the healing from my past was to forgive the person who abused me. I want to clarify a couple of points.

#1. Why I didn’t tell my mother before she died?

Really, what would be the point? She was going through chemo, radiation and every known treatment for leukemia. I never wrestled with the decision. The Lord led me to be merciful to her. It was more important for her to be in a recovery frame of mind, rather than burden her again with the bad choices she had made in the past. It would be like beating a dead horse. And besides, the love of our Lord Jesus Christ had already removed the pain and stigma of being sexually and physically abused. Had she not been sick, perhaps I would have talked to her about it, but I would have definitely prayed hard about how to approach her.

#2. Once The Lord showed you to forgive your father, why didn’t you just do it?

Being loved without condition, no strings attached was new to me. Sometimes, people just do it and get over it. I had to read and read and read about forgiveness. I had to process with my mind what my heart didn’t want to do. For years, I had built up walls to protect myself, and it was only by the Holy Spirit that I was able to achieve this important milestone. Again, my flesh did not want to forgive, but my spirit was willing. And what you feed, will lead.

#3. So how do you know that you’re all over it?

It is my greatest wish, desire, that when I meet Jesus He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Your Mom…And your Dad have been waiting for this moment.” That’s when I knew I was healed and I could move on.

#4. Did you ever tell your husband?

I told him everything; every last detail between me and my family. And, he is still the only person to who I am completely, totally, brutally honest with. I NEVER lie to him or even try to shade the truth. To make him pay for the actions of another would be infantile and destructive. I don’t live in the land of woulda, coulda, shoulda. He is the best thing to happen to me and after 21 years of marriage, I adore him more every day. He’s a real man, who knows who he is and showers his affections on me without restraint. He is the husband other women wish they had, and I know it.

#5. I need help and I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done, what has been done to me, and I’ve been silent all these years, never trusting anyone with this mega-personal information.

There are a lot of Christian Counselors who deal with this all the time. I’m afraid most churches are ill equipped with counselors who know how this affects an individual and every aspect of their life. But, that is also why we are here http://www.weused2bu.com/. We won’t try to give you some “feel good” answer and leave you hanging. We search The Word and pray about our posts and articles. We know you have come here to see real life, up close and personal things that never get talked about. We’re here because G-d has called us. We understand the heavy responsibility He has given us, and we NEVER want to EVER take it lightly. We have Him to answer to daily.

Blessed & Highly Favored Testimony: Locked Up Memories

This article is for mature audience; Graphic in nature; Not for the weak or judgemental

Written by: Blessed & Highly Favored

My mother died four years ago and I’m still having a hard time going through her stuff. In fact, there are boxes in my possession that I haven’t gone through since March of 2004. The boxes are full of papers, pictures, letters, etc.

I really loved my mother and I miss her terribly. I know she’s in heaven and I’ll just have to wait to see her again.

Now, my father…I hated him. He molested me for years as a child, forcing me to perform oral sex on him, and fondled every part of my body. He made me fear him, fear my feelings, and sowed the seeds of distrust. I didn’t know what love was, only that I was exploited for his pleasure. And I never told my mother. I thought I was the one who was being bad, almost asking to be abused. As so this is how a child thinks.

He was a violent alcoholic and began to dabble in marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, peyote and coke. When he was not beating my mother like a man he was ripping up her homework (she was going to college before laptops, and everything was on paper-term papers, math equations, homework, etc.). In front of her, he would tear her work into little squares and then burn it. All the while, he would be saying, “You think you’re better than me? Smarter than me? I’ll show you. You’re nothing. Nothing.” And she would sit there and watch months of hard work disappear before her eyes, while sobbing and pleading for him to stop. And he wouldn’t. He enjoyed watching her suffer and this torture was a prelude to the physical abuse to come later that evening. He was one self absorbed man with an inferiority complex.

Now his aggression wasn’t only vented on my mother and our family (me, a younger sister and brother), but he fought with everybody. He carried a huge mountain-sized chip on his shoulder and liked to fight. His many bar fights and drunken driving accidents landed him in the hospital too many times to remember, as well as being in jail. We had no money because he had to pay the bail bondsman, lawyers, hospitals, new cars, etc., and all this on a heavy equipment operator’s wages. When he wasn’t incurring the usual alcoholic’s expenses, he was buying rounds for his buddies or gambling his pay away. Of course his fun was more important than feeding or clothing his family. More times than I wish to remember was going to the laundry-mat to scour the washing machines and dryers for loose change to buy milk and bread. It takes an awfully small man to consider the opinions of his friends rather than provide for the welfare of his family.

So amid the drug abuse from both parents, (my Mom now took prescription drugs to handle her depression which led to her suicide attempts landing her in the psyche lock-up for months) violence and alcoholism, I thought that surely there had been a mistake @ the hospital when I was born. I did not think or act like my family. I felt like an alien, and decided at the ripe old age of 11, I was going to throw myself into school and NEVER DO DRUGS or ALCOHOL because look how stupid it makes you act.

Years go by; I went to college and was living in a little town in Northern California. I was at work and I got a call from my brother. He told me that my father had died in a car accident…his fault, drunk driving. Evidently he was racing down a street with a curve to the left. He didn’t make it, hit the curb, flipped 3 times and landed in the front yard of his brothers’ friends’ house wrapped around a palm tree. He was moving back to his mother’s house, with all his personal belongings in the back of the car, including a 20” TV. When the car went airborne, the TV flipped, shearing his head in half. He died instantly. Here he was 51 years old and still acting like a punk, and finally all his past caught up with him.

I caught a flight to LA with my sister. My brother met me at the gate while my mother waited in the car. After we picked up the bags, we got to the car and there was my mother, wailing and crying her eyes out. What? Grieving? Grieving for a man who beat you like a man, made you feel like nothing, played around on you and left you with kids with nothing to feed them? I was very angry at her for shedding a single tear for such a monster.


I was glad he was dead. Glad he put me out of his and my misery. How fitting he would die in the manner which he brought us so much pain and violence.

I felt nothing; nothing but a sense of urgency to get that waste of skin into a coffin as quickly as possible and under dirt. It was as if a bug had been killed: One less monster sucking up air.

At the funeral, our tradition is to have the casket lowered into the ground and those in attendance throw handfuls of dirt onto the casket as a means to say good-bye. My heart was so cold and steely, if I could have driven a dump truck full of dirt, I would have driven it to the cemetery and dumped the load on his casket. Then, I would have taken a load of cement, and poured all of it to show those attending how intense the hatred seethed in my heart. His selfishness and perversity robbed me of a precious, personal gift G-d gave me to share with His chosen.

And because of this anger, I became cynical, emotionally removed from any intimacy, and had absolutely no desire whatsoever to EVER GET MARRIED. I became a player, using men as personal entertainment, not caring about them at all. All I cared about was MY PLEASURE WITHOUT COMMITMENT, and the freedom to have as many as I could, whenever I felt like it.

About 2 years after my fathers’ death, the Lord came into my life big time. The first thing He dealt with me was forgiveness. He had forgiven me of all my sins I had committed, and now I was to exercise that same process to others. He dealt with me about my father.

I argued with Him about forgiving him. How could I forgive the very man who was suppose to have loved me and protected me from the very slime he had become? How could I forgive the very man who violated me?
And made me do shameful acts for his perverse pleasure? I said, “No G-d! And I hope he’s in hell burning forever for what he did to me, my mother and my family. Besides, he was dead…how could I forgive a dead man?”

G-d reminded me that Jesus went to the cross for all of our sins: my fathers’ sins, all of them. Although I had been scarred by his actions, the love of G-d and the power of forgiveness was the first step of my healing. But I had to take the first step in allowing G-d to open up my heart and start peeling away the scar tissue that had been there for so long. He revealed to me if I continued to hold on to this hate and bitterness, I would have essentially placed my pain and suffering beyond the cross, making the death of Jesus meaningless.

Was I above Jesus? No. Was my abuse worse than the humiliation and torture endured by Jesus? No.

I could not hold on to what was destroying me. I had to lay it down at the feet of Jesus, and walk away. It didn’t matter whether he was dead or alive, the cancer of unforgiveness was killing me affecting every part of me and I needed to change.

It took awhile for me to lay it all down. And three years after the death of my father, I mourned his loss. It was 30 years after the fact that I could even talk about my father’s abuse. Now, I talk about it all the time. Satan wants us to feel shame, and continue to isolate ourselves; Don’t fall into the trap.

If you have been abused, it’s vital to get help and to report it no matter who it is. It took me 30 YEARS TO TALK ABOUT THIS. Now, I don’t care who knows because I understand who I am in Christ; the shame has been removed, and I AM FREE. Praise Him and His Holiness which reigns forever and ever. I am a daughter of the most High G-d, made in His image and free of my past, full of mercy and compassion. Be free, NOW!!!

What’s Love Got To Do With It – Part 2

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

You see it all over: Girls with girls; guys with guys; threesomes, foursomes, grouping, hooking up, booty calls. Experimenting with your sexuality trying to cover all the bases before you decide what could possibly make you happy. And this old excuse, “It’s like trying on shoes before you buy them. You never know what style you’ll like.” Uh yeah, like I’m a shoe. I don’t think so.

First, God’s perspective about homosexuality…uh, an abomination (repugnant, disgraceful, atrocious, wickedness) Leviticus 18:22. Not only is it a sin against the will of God, it is a sin against your own body.

“Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.” ( 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 )

Now typically, men and women have different perspectives about sex, both straight and homosexual.



Women who dabble into homosexual relationships, seek emotional intimacy first, that gives way to physical, sexual intimacy. A female partner doesn’t mind talking about every little thing, how they feel, their dreams, insecurities, etc. A homosexual man is quick to accept physical, sexual intimacy as a means to replace/separate emotional intimacy. Multiple partners is way of life and extremely dangerous, not only unhealthy (don’t even get me started about condom use as safe), but essentially begins to desensitize the individual.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of tape, and start placing it on and off your body about 20 times. After you do that, does the tape stick to anything anymore? No. When we have multiple sex partners, the tape is like our hearts. We can’t connect emotionally with anybody anymore and we can’t understand why we act the way we act. Our hearts become full of scar tissue. Like a thick fortress, our hearts are full of love but it cannot get out and the love from another cannot get in.

When we choose to listen to Satan, and chase after his perversion, it is very difficult to seek after God. However, because Jesus died for ALL our sins, we become new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 6:15). Once we have this new life, we don’t have to act the way we used to act, talk like we used to talk, think the way we used to think. And though Satan would like to bring up our past to torture us, we have a Savior, in Jesus who ransomed us and paid the penalty for our sin in full.

We can choose to be free, and not a slave to our past.

*** Continued from What's Love Got To Do With It ***

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

I got issues; issues about girls giving up their treasure in exchange for the illusion of intimacy. The line is long a and filled with girls and women who have shattered hopes, unrealistic expectations, a lifetime of STD’s, twisted sexual desires and mental anguish about their actions. What am I talking about? Is this another chat about sex, yes; but let’s look at the spiritual aspect of God’s gift to us.

It’s inevitable; someday, someone who you are not married to will utter the tired, worn line, “If you love me, then show me how much you love me.”

See the trap? Have you placed yourself in a situation that the “temptation” to give yourself over into sexual sin too great? But he loves me and I so want him to make me “feel like a woman!” Isn’t that a “natural response” to someone who you have a special, strong connection with? Whether you’re 12 or 62, it’s that same battle. And don’t for a second believe that the teen, or 20, or 30 or 40 or 50 something female has a clue about their sexuality, especially if they do not have a strong commitment to Jesus Christ. Satan wants to rob you of God’s precious gift and pervert your perception of sex. Hold up; stand back. Let’s look at the situation in its’ real context.

Sex is a wonderfully exciting fulfilling act. God made our bodies to react to certain stimuli in a specific manner for a specific reason. Our bodies were fantastically made by God to experience these feelings and responses layered in complex emotions. God even sanctifies (to make holy or sacred; to be free from sin, purified) sex by telling His creation, Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). But all of this is meant only in the context of marriage, NOT JUST A RELATIONSHIP (48 months or 48 minutes)! And certainly not someone who has to talk you into surrendering your gift, just to prove something. And another thing, oral sex is sex. Simply because there’s no penetration with a penis, an orgasm is an orgasm if someone brings you to climax.



God gave us this physical experience which is first spiritual, then physical. Let’s define some terms. Sex is seeking gratification to satisfy a biological drive. And if you believe we come from apes or some primordial slime, it’s just a skip and a jump to justify satisfying an animalistic urge. Making love , on the other hand, is the meaningful, fulfilling, spiritual expression of the consummation of a marriage. A husband submits to his wife, as a wife submits to her husband to bring one another to a level of exciting intimacy the God intended for us as a gift. In Hebrews 13:4, the Bible says, “Marriage is honorable ( admirable, moral, respectable, good) among all, and the bed undefiled (unsoiled, precious, free from deformity, debased, or impaired): but fornicators (sex before marriage) and adulterers (sex outside of marriage) God WILL judge.”

So, that’s God perspective of His gift to us. We need to see ourselves from His vantage point, not as animals just having sex because it’s “natural.” The big lie of Satan is that “everybody is doing it,” “it’ll make me a man,” “it’ll make me a woman,” “but we love each other” etc. We are not animals who cannot reason, or think of consequences, or just live in the moment. We are divinely created by a loving God, who wants us to be Holy, full of purpose and direction. He wants us to be all we can be, all He created us to be.

Roots

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

As I was walking in my business the other morning, I looked down and noticed a little ant trail along the front window. Darn IT! I spray and spray and still they come back! OK, with all the rain, they just want to be in a safe place near some food; BUT NOT IN MY SHOP!

I walked in, set down my bag, turned on the lights, and grabbed the bug spray. I sprayed from one end of the store to the other, along the windows and to my neighbors’ store. As I was doing this, I made a mental note to get some weed killer. There are not a lot of them, just a few in the hairline cracks in the cement, but enough to make it look, well, not like I want it.

Then the Lord spoke to me, “See that little weed that is pushing its way out of that little tiny crack? It looks like it would be impossible for anything to grow there, but there is enough of an environment to allow the tiniest of a weed seed to thrive. Sin is like that. The seed of sin lies dormant until the right conditions allow it to grow. You passed by it everyday, not giving it a second thought, but I knew it was there growing, pushing its’ way out, not satisfied with being in darkness any longer. Sin in one area of your life will ALWAYS push its way into other areas. What is hidden will ALWAYS come to the surface. Your sin will find you out – Numbers 32:23.”

What’s the big deal about a little weed an inch in length??? It won’t stay that way!!!!! It’ll continue to grow until something stops it. Allowed to flower and bloom, it’ll give way to more seed affecting the environment around it.

It’s the cracks in our character that allows the sin weed to grow. We may fool the world, but inside the roots of unforgiveness, hatred, confusion, perversity, pride, etc., strangle our hearts and stunt our growth. So much so, we start to pull away from G-d because of our sin. And don’t think for a moment that once you’ve removed the evidence of the “sin weed” that it’s gone! NO! The root has to be dealt with, and pulled out of you. That’s where the Holy Spirit opens your heart (imagine open-heart surgery), and gets to work removing it inch by inch. But only if you allow Him to do that in that dark place.

We always have to guard our hearts not to allow the same stupid “sin seed” a chance to grow again. We are so much worse off when we deceive ourselves into such nonsense. Jesus said in Matthew 12: 43-45, “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man (or woman), he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, “I will return to my house from which I came.” And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man (or woman) is worse than the first. So shall it be with this wicked generation.”

Sin seed is always being thrown at us. Shake it off and give it no place in your life for it to grow. Allow the Lord Jesus Christ to fill you, and show you the kind of person He wants you to be. Walk free, live free, and be free.

Our Appearance

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

Am I really trying to be all that?

The other day I was channel surfing with the remote, so bored with what was supposed to entertain me. I decided to peep at MTV real quick. I used to watch it a lot, especially when it first was broadcasting (yes, I am that old). Anyway, about 15 seconds into a video I was so shocked at what I saw. This is NOT the MTV I remember! My goodness, these women, I mean girls were dancing around looking like monkeys, ready to shake their booty and their racks for any dude in baggy pants who happened to cruise by. I had to check the cable, ‘cause maybe I made a mistake and got the Playboy pay-for-view channel, or something. Nope, this is MTV now. So I decided to flip it VH1, and don’t you know I saw the same video playing AGAIN! What are the chances? Flip to BET and there’s the same “artist” supposedly doing a different song, but it looked all the same. I just turned off the TV. I couldn’t watch it anymore.

What kind of culture we have become?If I was from another planet, and had no frame of reference as to the people from earth, except from what I saw on TV, what would my opinion be? First, that females on earth, hardly wear any clothes, are so skinny a cannibal would pass them up, have messed up hair, dance like having sex, booty shake and gyrate on and about usually one or two of the ugliest dudes who need a trip to the store to find some Granimals and a belt. I saw women as entertainment; no different from dancing monkeys. I didn’t see their minds, their hearts, their souls, their education; all I saw was a sacrifice of flesh being laid on the altar of advertising.

See here’s the deal. The people who make the decisions about the videos think you are all pigs. And pigs will eat anything you put in front of them. These producer’s kids go to exclusive private schools in other countries, far from the pig trough they want you to fill up on. They have bodyguards and security details to keep you far from them because you might contaminate them with their own stuff. And it doesn’t stop there. They bring on designers, and fashionistas to shape perceptions directly related to the videos. “Be like Mike” wear his shoes. “Be cool like P Diddy” wear Sean John. “Smell like J-Lo.” Oh for real???? Why is it so important to be like someone else?

Now girls, my head is not in the sand, and I’m not talking about putting burlap sacks on y’all and having you wear boots. God has created in us all the beauty we need; but it comes from inside, not from a bottle or a store. His Holy Spirit who dwells in us is a light, a spiritually dynamic force and is very attractive. As we submit to Jesus Christ, His Spirit develops in us character, and fruit. He wants us to seek His approval, not the approval of MTV, VH1 or BET! We are not pigs, or animals for that fact.

Jesus has a much higher calling for us that does not require us to give ourselves away for the sake of being eye candy. Respect yourself! Be Holy! (Leviticus 11:44, 1 Peter 1:15, 16) It’s okay to wear make-up, and to dress NICELY. Just be modest and remember you are a daughter of the Most High G-d, heavenly royalty, being cultivated into the kind of woman G-d wants you to be from the inside out. Let Him do His work, you be obedient, and TURN OFF THE TV!



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