Hi, my name is Saved by Faith and I want to share my story with you. I’m a single mother of 2 children. My teenage years were filled with turmoil. At the age of 12, I met someone in my neighborhood that absolutely intrigued me. I knew he was trouble but pursued him anyway… he was always on the street, drinking, drugging, and committing different crimes (vandalism, stealing cars, dealing drugs & more). We started dating later that year, soon after my 13th birthday. It didn’t take long for me to succumb to his disobedient ways. At 13 yrs old, I lost my virginity. Aside from having unprotected sex, I started sneaking out, stealing my mother’s car, missing school and fighting. I thought I knew everything. I thought nothing bad could or would happen to me. Within 1 year, my boyfriend went from nice and attentive to abusive. He would constantly put me down, calling me all types of derogatory names. He also put his hands on me a few times. Drugs, drinking and jail became his everyday life.
My freshman year of high school was chaotic, dealing with the verbal and physical abuse. Trying to keep it from my family was even harder than before. My mom heard the senseless arguments and saw me in constant tears. I was so disgusted with myself and the lack of love and attention I wasn’t getting that one night I drowned my sorrows with 23 pills. It was a serious cry for help. By the time my mother knew what had happened, I was only a few hours away from death. I was hospitalized for a few days and given a psychiatric evaluation. I needed to talk with someone but didn’t feel like there was anyone that would listen or understand. I felt so alone.
My sophomore year seemed a little better. I didn’t get into trouble at school and my grades improved, but I was still wreckless. I was still with my abusive boyfriend and right around the holidays we found out I was pregnant. 15 and pregnant. I thought it was all going to be fine. We would have a baby and we would live happily ever after. But that wasn’t the case. My mom gave me an ultimatum that really left me no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. I spiraled into a whirlwind of resentment, anger, and depression.
My junior year of high school started out with me finding out I’m pregnant. That was a wake up call for me. I focused on school again, getting my grades back to As & Bs and graduated the next year, ranking 97 out of 800. I also realized that I was worth so much more than the abuse I was enduring and definitely didn’t want my baby to grow up with that… so I finally left my son’s father.
After high school, I took a few semesters of college before deciding that money and partying was more important than my education. My mom practically raised my son for the next 2 yrs, as I filled my days & nights with partying and drugs. At 21, my son’s father got out of prison (again) and we decided to get back together. Within months, I was pregnant again so we decided to move into our own place.
During my pregnancy, my son and I dealt with different kinds of abuse from him… alcoholism, drug abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and neglect. While I dedicated my life to my family, home and work, he indulged in cocaine, marijuana, drinking & affairs. My son was verbally and physically abused by his father. And I, the same. Nothing had changed. Several months after having my daughter, the kids and I moved out on our own. I partied for a few more years, convincing myself that the partying would make me feel better. This brought me to drinking, non-stop partying and promiscuity. All of this was a mask for my insecurities and self-doubt. It consumed me, straying me farther from my children. Finally tired of the guilt, I got my life back on track, went back to school and started going to church.
Working full time, attending school part-time, and trying to bring me & my family closer to God… that’s what my life is about now. I received my Associates degree a few years ago and am working on my Bachelors degree now. The years of rebellion, the times of not having self-worth… that’s behind me now. I’m raising a teenage boy and a young girl on my own and ask the Lord for His guidance everyday. God has shown me that life has so much to offer when you follow His word. Our journeys are never easy. We are tested everyday to make the right decisions, from something as simple as choosing the right words to say or the right reaction to have to something as complex as picking your friends/company wisely or overcoming peer pressure. God did not guarantee an easy road to travel but the fruits of our labor, as long as we trust and follow Him, will be more rewarding than words could ever express.
