Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

He's Having A Hard Time Sticking With One Girl

Anonymous' Prayer Request...
Please pray for my "friend" Steven. He's having a hard time sticking with one girl and I know I still love him, even his sister says she can't see him happier or becoming a better Christian with anyone else but me. So please pray that he will learn what he's doing to these girls. If I can't have him, I at least want the girl that gets him to be happy and not have to worry about another woman in his life. I want him happy no matter what

Trophy of Grace prays...
My Dear Father,

You see this young man and is heart towards women. Help him to see the error in his ways. Teach him Lord the importance of fearing you. Change his heart Lord. Allow him to see that your kindness is meant to lead him to repentance. I know that it is not your will Lord that any should perish. If he has not believed in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior then please Holy Spirit touch his heart. Allow him to see that He needs You. Allow him to realize that his is a sinner. I pray that tonight as he lays in bed that his heart would be touched and he would cry out to You for forgiveness. I trust your Lord and I know that you are doing something in His heart right now and his heart will not be hardened to the Holy Spirit. He will receive your Word and He will be changed for ever.

For this dear sister I pray that you would help her too Lord. You see that she still loves this young man and it hurts her to see what he is doing. Help her to heal from this whole relationship and if it be your will for her to get away from this situation completely then give her the strength to move on. Help her to get her focus completely on You. Help her to leave this young man in your hands. This is not a burden for her to carry but instead to pray and cast this care on you because you care about him and her. Give her a desire to want to serve you and to become your handmaiden. In Jesus name..Amen..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

He Had A Fling & She Got Pregnant Too


Anonymous said...
Ok so..here goes...My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. Not being obedient, we had a daughter, now shes 7 mos. However, now we broke up for about one month, and he had a fling with another woman and she got pregnant as well. Our daughters are 6 weeks apart.I love him a lot, however, even though we were officially not together, I feel betrayed. Not to mention the conviction I feel for not keepin my temple holy. Any who..He's a great father two both girls, and is really considerate of my feelings about the situation, He constantly apologizes. He's saved, and I forgive him..but why do i feel so insecure? I believe he is my husband, however, I don't want to deal wit' the baby mama drama. I feel like I have a choice, take care of me and my daughter, or stick it out with my potential husband. I've prayed, and prayed and prayed...I don't know what God wants me to do...what do you guys think?

Trophy of Grace replies..

This is a tough situation to be in. I’m sure that you are struggling with so many different emotions. The insecurity is most probably coming from the fact that all though you feel like he’s your husband the actual commitment and covenant (promise) has not been made before God yet. I think that there is reason for concern. Your concerns and insecurities will remain there until the day that you both commit to holy matrimony. Even then you will have to pray and ask God to help you both heal from your past experiences before the marriage.

Many people do not realize that marriage is so special. When you make that covenant before God it makes you want to fight for the sake of your family. It gives you a sense of security in your relationship especially when you know that you have married the man that God has for you. Marriage is hard work but when you sow into your marriage seeds of love and determination you reap a wonderful harvest of blessings. These blessings are only bestowed on those couples who have determined to commit their relationship to God by marrying.

If he’s saved and you know that your body is the temple of God, then I am assuming that you both are going to church. If not then that is the first place you both need to be. Going to church will give you both an environment where you can grow in your faith and have accountability, brothers and sisters in the Lord that will help in your walk with God. Besides going to church I hope that you are reading the bible daily so that your faith, trust, and love for the Lord will grow. Reading the Word gives us wisdom, direction, correction, comfort, and confirmation. It prepares us for every good work that God has for us. It is your manual for living life more abundantly.
Prayerfully consider rededicating your life to the Lord.

Go to your boyfriend and discuss with him openly and honestly your concerns and see where he stands on the marriage issue. You may consider seeking godly counsel together for your relationship. My husband and I enjoy talking to our pastor together. We appreciate and value his advice and counsel.

Regarding the baby mama drama.. well..that is something that you both will have to pray about. You have not said what exactly you’re going through with the baby mama, but I suggest that you allow him to deal with her. I know that it may cause you feelings of jealousy or insecurity but she is the mother of his child. For the sake of the child you must pursue peace at all times. Don’t resent the child because the baby did not have a say as to when and to whom she was born. Both babies are here now and deserve to be cherished and treated with love. Ask God to give you a loving heart towards the child and an understanding heart towards the mother. I am sure this is not easy for her either. What woman plans on getting pregnant and then having the man that got her pregnant go back to the woman he loves. That must be hard too.

There is nothing you can do to change what has happened. So there is no point in using negative emotions to deal with the situation. Jealousy, anger, wrath, arguing and fighting will not produce anything positive for any of you. Forgive all parties involved and move on from here trusting God to help you forgive daily and heal from the pain.

It is time to stop doing things your own way and allow God to make all of your crooked paths straight. You have to trust in Him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. I promise that if you will seek Him with all of your heart that you will find Him and your life will be changed. You are a mother now and one day you will be a wife. If you want to be successful at both of these you will need God’s help and guidance. Humble yourself before Him and He will lift you back up. He does have a wonderful plan for your life. Plans to give you a future and a hope, but first you must submit your life to Him and His plan. Then He will give you the desires of your heart. You can never imagine the goods that He has planned for your family.

Go and seek Him and you will find healing…

God bless you sister.

Come back any time we are here for you..

Love,

Trophy of Grace

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I Decided to Stay Pure... the Girl Offered Him Sex


Anonymous commented:
Hi....I need some really good advices...I've been going out with my bf for 5 months...everything was doing good until when I found flirtatious messages on his phone... I asked what was it about? After lying so much to me, it admitted that he met an old friend of his and it happened that they kissed and he said that was the only thing that happened. I beleived him and I told him that next time he does something like this ..I'm gonna break up with him...yesterday I found out that he had sex with the same girl that he kissed 6 weeks ago...I asked him why did he do that ? he told me since I decided to stay pure until mariage... the girl offered him to have sex, it found it as an opportunity..he said that he's sorry and he's willing to change but I don't know if he is really sincere...I wanna leave him so bad but deep inside I wanna give him a second chance .i dont know what to do..please give me some Godly advices.

Saved By Faith answered:
Dear sister, I’m glad that you’ve chosen to remain pure until marriage. That is a very difficult and yet responsible decision. Although 5 months seems like an eternity, you and he are still getting to know one another. And the fact that he’s lied and cheated doesn’t help the situation.

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man,
but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Proverbs 12:22
The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in men who are truthful.

God’s intended partner for you will have the same beliefs and will respect your decision to live a Christian life, as he will be following the same lifestyle. Your intended partner will not use your beliefs as a crutch or excuse to disrespect your relationship. He will love Christ, be honest and will genuinely care for you. That is the person that God has for you.

Psalm 15:2-3
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

I think you should take into consideration the length of the relationship and how long into it that he violated its sanctity. He was so quick to have an excuse to stray… you have to be able to fully trust your partner.

Knowing the word of God should make your decision a little clearer. Pray that God gives you the wisdom (James 1:5) and strength to make a sound, healthy decision.

I will pray for you.

Your sister,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Saved By Faith said...
I've returned to your question because it's been weighing heavy on my heart...

I don’t think you should continue a relationship with this guy. He’s violated the relationship and, in a sense, has tried to belittle your obedience to God for his own satisfaction.

Keep your focus on the Lord and He will bring you your life partner.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

In God’s time, you will have a man who:
- shows you respect
- makes you feel safe
- demonstrates his faith in God

Here are a couple of resources that you might find enlightening:

10 Ways to Practice Purity by Ron Hutchcraft

Christianity Today, Ignite Your Faith

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Pt 3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her


(Continued from posting 'I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her')

Anonymous Responds..

Well he says he made a big mistake. My family don't want me taking him back. If I do I get kicked out of my home. I feel bad b.c what if he is sincerely sorry? I told him to prove himself and his love and he doesn't know how. I said well apolizing to them is a start. He told me I prayed for the first time in a long time to get you back. I was like ya did cuz I pray all the time and so ....yeah but I don't know if he still trys to get with her too ya know :) It's hard to tell so...I know I am in love with the guy but its been hard cuz my family is all GRAAA at me b.c they said I would be stupid to take him back so for now me and him are just waiting it out and seeing how things go...he still wants to get back but I think he needs to show how much he loves me and not just say it WHAT DO YOU THINK!? thanks

Trophy of Grace Responds

I know that this is all so confusing to you but you have to leave this guy be. You prayed about this and God has showed you in more ways than one now that this is not for you. Do not reject what God is telling you. When God warns us and tries to lead us down a different path than the one we want we should not despise His leading. Do what He tells you. He knows what's best. He will never lead you wrong. Trust Him and lay down your will for your life and ask Him for His will.

I've told you how I feel. I agree with your family. Leave him alone. I think that you are his rebound. He may just not want to be alone because he is used to being with someone. He was with this girl for 5 years. That's a long time. You may be his fall back. Sometimes people think that if they get involved with someone else that it will help them get over their ex.

Ask God to give you strength and courage to accept His will and to move on with your life. Ask him to take away the lust (cause you may not know it now, but it's not love) that you have for him.

I will still be praying for you.
__________________________________________________________________

Anonymous responds..

well thanks you ...it is hard for me to move on because i always have a tendancy to rebound everytime....thats not good either but i think i do love him but i did have lust for him too but thanks you for praying i am glad your here for me too :)

Trophy of Grace says..

You are welcome. We are here for you no matter you chose to do. We are not here to pass judgement or to critize you. Jesus has put a love in hearts to young women. We have desire to help try to guide and lead you down the right path.

God bless you young sister,

xoxo's Trophy of Grace

Anonymous says..

well thanks i will continue to talk to ya'll i am so lucky i came across this

** CONTINUED **
- I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

Monday, October 6, 2008

He Verbally Abuses Me


Question Asked: here is a question...wat if u r in a relationship and u verbelly abuse almost every time...and he cheat...and everytime u break withh him he give u the sweet word u take him bak...everytime...so wat is that..

Response: Honey you said it yourself. It's abuse. Don't allow anyone to abuse you. You are a beautiful treasure that is to be loved and cherished. Our God desires for you to be cared for, adored, and treated gently. You don't need to allow yourself to be in are relationship where the person is tearing you apart with their words and actions. The more you listen to the abuse the more you will begin to believe that you are what they say you are. You are not those negative things. You are God's wonderful creation.

Psalms 9:9 The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

The Lord wants to deliver you from this situation. He has something better for you. He has good plans for you. My favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11-13 which says "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."

I share it with people so often because I have found freedom and hope in knowing that God has good plans for my life. So I chose not to settle for second best. I no longer allow myself to be a victim to others or life's circumstances. No matter what happens or who comes against me I know that I can seek God and He will help me. My faith in Christ has made me victorious.

He wants to do the same thing in your life. He wants you to be strong and confident in Him. His desire is to see you rise above any drama and persecution. If you will trust Him with your life and your circumstance he will give you wisdom and discernment to make better decisions.

Get away from this abuser. Draw close to God and allow Him to heal you from this pain and betrayal. He will lift you up and get you back on the right path if you will allow Him to.

Psalm 40:1-3
1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.

I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Monday, September 22, 2008

He Cheats But Keeps Sayin All the Right Stuff


MySpacer Wrote: hey its me again well im going through a crazy brake up and i kno that i shouldnt go back with him because he cheated on me 2many times its just hard not to u kno i dont kno wat to do i love so much we have a kid 2getther but i dont want to go back to him he keeps sayin all the right stuff to me and i think im fallin 4it

Response: Hi. I know it's hard to break away from someone when you've invested so much emotion and time into him, especially if you have a child together. I was with my children's father on & off for 10 years. In that time he cheated almost constantly, we'd break up, he'd say all the right things and we'd get back together - for him to do the same thing again.

It takes courage and self control to break this cycle. One of the realizations that helped me see what I had to do was this... how can you make your child happy if you're not happy? God's blessed you with a child and it is your responsibility to provide a loving environment for him/her. Have the father's infidelities and all the arguments that come with that is not healthy, for anyone (you, him or the baby). Even at a young age, children can sense others' emotions.

Aside from being strong for your child, you also have to be strong for yourself. You are a child of God. You are more precious than gold. God's intended for you to be with someone that respects and loves you. You and your partner should have a monogamous relationship.

~ 1 Corinthians 13 ~
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Can you build a support chain with a couple of your friends or family members? Like, instead of calling him you call your specific friend instead. Pray for strength. Pray for endurance. Pray for God to help you make the right decision. Whether you're together or not, the both of you have the responsibility of raising your child. Now is the time, especially during hardships like this, when the TWO of you have to take your child into consideration first... before the "You" or "Me" comes into play.

I know it's a difficult time. I will pray for you in your time of need.

Dear Father God, please give her the strength and clarity she needs to make it through this situation. Please provide her with the means and motivation to make the right decisions for her and her child. Give her the opportunity to raise her child in a loving home with both parents active in his/her life.

Your Sister,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Together for 2 Yrs and I Can't Trust Him



QUESTION: HEY LADIES HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO SPEAK WELL HERE I GO

WELL THERE IS THIS I BEEN WITH FOR 2 YEARS ON AND OFF AND WE FINALLY ARE TRYIN TO GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE LAST TIME BUT HE DOESN'T TRUST ME AND I DNT TRUST HIM. WHEN WE TRY TO HOOK UP THERE'S ALWAYS A EXCUSE ABOUT HIM BEING BUSY. I'VE SEEN HIM TALK TO GIRLS AND GIVE HIS NUMBER OR TAKIN NUMBERS FROM THEM AND I'M GOIN THRU A LIL DOWN FALL BUT WHEN I CAN ALWAYS HELP HIM WHEN I CAN BUT I CAN'T SAY I CAN RELY ON HIM SO WHAT DO U THINK I SHOULD DO

ANSWER: Trust and communication is important in a relationship and it sounds like your relationship is lacking both. I know you’ve invested 2 years into something with him but I don’t think it’s healthy and sound. A couple of pointers that you should tell yourself everyday:

* You are a cherished treasure. (Deuteronomy 14:2) You are a wonderful creation in our Father’s eyes and should be blessed beyond measure. His intention is for His children to be filled with the Holy Spirit and happy. Strengthening your relationship with Christ will help accomplish this.

James 1:17-18
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13
“God has a wonderful plan for your life if you will only surrender your will to His.“

* God has designed someone to be with you and in His time, He will bring you together. It is so easy for us to react based on our emotions but be careful… emotions can be very deceiving! Pray and be patient. Allow God to place your intended partner in your life, a man that loves God and will love and honor you.

* Trust is pivotal in every relationship…family, friends and love. Without trust and communication, there is no foundation for that relationship. God intended us to have healthy, sound relationships with Godly people. People whom put God first, read the bible, and follow his commands. Establishing these kinds of friendships will have you realize day after day, how important trust and honesty is. You need uplifting relations! Friendships that draw near to God and praise Him… rejoice in His delights… and value you as you are.

Leviticus 19:11
"… Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.”

Hebrews 10:22
”let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water”

Deuteronomy 7:12
If you pay attention to these laws and are careful to follow them, then the LORD your God will keep his covenant of love with you, as he swore to your forefathers.

I hope that you take some time to yourself, get to know YOU again. Realize that you are so precious and deserve so much more than mistrust and deception. Pray. Draw closer to God. He will deliver you from this and bring you to a love that you will cherish forever.

James 4:8
Proverbs 3:5-6
1 Chronicles 16:34


With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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Friday, July 25, 2008

He Says I'm His Only Girl


Anonymous asks.. I need some advice about my boyfriend. Well we haven't been together for that long its been about 2 months now. Anyways my question is is he cheating on me? See right now we are having a long distance relationship. Temporarily I am in Okinawa Japan staying with my aunt. He is in Georgia right now and is moving to Jersy today. But what makes me think that he is cheating on me is because about 2 weeks ago he told me that this girl was trying to get with him and trying to get him to cheat on me. But he left out a lot of information..like she pushed him on the bed and felt on him and stuff. He didn't tell me that until later on. I said it was ok because he didnt do anything it was all her. But I wanted to see anyways. I wanted to confront her about it and he wouldn't let me. Then recently he told me when he was his friends this girl was trying to do the same thing. But she actually kissed him and was on him. He said his friend pulled her off but I'm not sure if I should believe him this time. I'm not quite sure what I should do cause he says he's not cheating and I'm the only girl. Should I let him go or should I trust him and see what happens next? Thanks..

Answer..Long distance relationships are hard enough. Then on top of it you're not sure if you can trust him. That's tough..

This young man seems a little shady. You have two different girls involved in similar situations with him, but he claims to be innocent. It would be hard for me to trust him too.

Trust is a very important part of any relationship. If you do not have trust and confidence in the person that you are in love with how can you truly give them your heart?

My suggestion would be to let this young man go. Take time to focus on your self for awhile before you start looking for someone else. If you want to find the man for you, stop looking. Start seeking first to know God. (Matthew 6:33)Build a relationship with Jesus Christ first and you will see that He will give you the desires of your heart. Don't worry about tomorrow, learn to take one day at time.

God has a wonderful plan for your life if you will only surrender your will to His. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)You could never imagine the number of times daily that God has good thoughts toward you and about your life. They are unable to be numbered, like the grains of sand.(Psalm 139:17-18) Let him comfort you and heal you from the hurt of this relationship and allow him to bring the man He has for you, to you. His ways are so much better than ours.

I will be praying for you..

Kindly,
Trophy of Grace

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

How Do I Know If My Man Is Cheating?


J Wrote: Hi my name is J i have a boyfriend that loves me to death but i keep getting messages from other girls that are telling me that they are dating him.i want to believe him but i have no idea if he is telling me the truth or not what should i do???

How do I know if my man is cheating??

Answer: This is a hard question to answer. It’s hard to base decisions on gossip but your doubts are obviously there.

I don’t know what the girls’ motives are in telling you that they’re dating your boyfriend; only he and they know the truth. When I was with my ex, I dealt with the same situation. I had the same doubt, the same questions but I also had a gut feeling that something was happening. Some signs that raised my suspicions were his cell phone always on vibrate, late night calls, girls calling, excuses to be out late and wondering eyes.

I think you should pray about it and ask God that you not be deceived. God guides us and leads us into truth, especially when we ask him to reveal the truth to us. Do not ignore the signs. If you ask God, expect to receive an answer:

James 1:5-8
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

Whatever is in the dark will come to the light. Don’t make any rash decisions. Wait for the truth to be revealed.

Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

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Monday, July 21, 2008

He's Dating 2 of My Friends


Helplessindahill wrote... Ok so i have this friend,best friend, and she was talking to me on the phone. We were planning to go see Batman this friday. Ne way she says "u kno i GO OUT with _______ now?" I was kind of bothered by this because this guy also goes out with my god sister.(my friend doesn't know about her) I had just seen them 2gether the day b4. B4 he got saved and started playing drums and keyboard for my church, he was known to be a player...my question is should i say ne thing to ne body or should i jus sit back and watch him play my god sister like that. She really REALLY likes him and has given up an education at a very well known HBCU in order to stay home closer to him, and he's tryin to go back to his old ways and play her. I want to kno what to do because my old self would of just put him on BLAST so every one would kno what he was doin. But now that i'm saved, i dk how 2 handle the situation!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! I can't just sit here and watch him play my best friend and my god sis....HELP!!!

Answer... I think the best way for you to handle this situation is by speaking with him directly. Let him know that you’re aware he’s dating both girls and give him the opportunity to handle the situation. If he doesn’t address it in a timely manner then speak with you’re best friend and God sister.

Remember not to address him with a judgemental attitude but remind him that, as part of the Praise and Worship Team, he is called to set an example.

Make sure you pray before you speak with him, that God will give you the words to speak and that He will touch his heart to receive your words.

1 Corinthians 5:12

Saved by Faith

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Friday, July 11, 2008

Relationship In Jeopardy


Anonymous ask.. My fiance is in the army and he says he loves me but the other night he invited a girl over to his place to watch movies alone on his bed. I found out about it and i asked him and he said that he planned it to hurt me but he loves me and doesn't want it to end. Is our relationship in jeopardy? I love him to death and I told him. I have been honest with him I just haven't been open with my feelings because he keeps lying to me. What do I do? Please can you help me?

Answer..I know how hurt you are. It is a terrible feeling to be betrayed by someone you love and are contemplating spending the rest of your life with. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Marriage is a serious commitment that too many young people take lightly. I urge you to really seek God's face about whether or not this man is for you. If he is going around watching movies on beds with other women, could he be sleeping with them too? If so, what if he brings you a venereal disease or worse Aids?

Sometimes God will shed the light on our circumstances so that we can see the Truth. He does not want us to be deceived. He wants to guide us and lead us if we will let Him, but the choice is ours. We can trust God or continue following our own deceitful hearts and ever changing emotions.

Please..please..before marrying this man. Pray with a sincere heart for God to help you make the right decision.I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,
Trophy of Grace