Purity… From a Guy’s Perspective

Written by: Mike C aka 'A New Me'

Purity—does it really matter to guys? Wouldn’t a guy want a girl with more experience? Isn’t purity just being prude? Well, let me please clarify this subject from the male perspective. The shocking reality is… Purity matters big time. Regardless of what we might say or how we may react, no guy wants to build a relationship with an “easy” girl. The idea of a girl that we would respect and love fits the image many times of what we would want as a wife. No man wants a cigarette smoking, beer drinking, club hopper as a wife. That type of woman is just not trustworthy, and that is why many guys treat women disrespectfully. I mean, come on, do you really expect a man to respect you for the beautiful gift from God that you are when your clothing, attitude and demeanor show otherwise? How can you expect respect when you don’t respect yourselves?

Now don’t get me wrong, we (guys) by far are not perfect and there are many times when we just fall short. That is why it is so important when you’re seeking love and relationship, that you seek God first. Build your relationship with the Lord Almighty first, and He will place the man in your life He planned for you; He already has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Don’t jeopardize your purity and integrity to “fit in”. That wild, crazy party girl for most guys is good for only one thing, and we all know what that is. When a man is truly looking to love and respect a woman, we are looking for a trustworthy, kind hearted, honest woman. And when a Christian man is looking for a woman to love, he is looking for a woman who first loves God and respects herself.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a relationship built on a mutual foundation of faith and love, respect and admiration? It’s not a fairy tale and it’s very real, but it starts with purity for both men and women. Let me let you in on a long-running male secret (sshhh don’t tell)… we often, no, pretty much always EXAGERATE, especially when it comes down to our “experiences,” so don’t be another locker room conversation piece or another name in the little black book. Instead, be sure that your name is in the only book that counts, the Lamb’s Book of Life, so you may enter the Kingdom (Revelations 3:5, 21:27). Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). The unfortunate reality is that society has made it okay to be sexually impure, but the Word of God tells otherwise. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12). Please keep your purity close to heart because it does matter to men, but most importantly to God, and it should to you. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need (Matt 6:33).

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How do I talk to my friend, without making it ackward, about being pure?

MySpace friend writes...

Okay....I have this friend who is way different to me in so many ways. Even though I'm older, shes "done" a lot more things than I ever thought possible. It's weird when she talks to me and tells me stuff. But the biggest problem is that she's had SEX over, or around, 17 time, and she goes out with men way older than her. She's only 14, and she's going with guys 17-19. And the worst part is, these guys are actually good guys, but I don't under stand why there going with a 14 year old girl. How do I talk to my friend, without making it ackward, about being pure?

Beloved By Him replies...

It’s so great to see that you want to help your friend; that kind of willing heart brings glory and honor to the Lord. I’m very concerned about your friend’s behavior, and I pray that the Holy Spirit gives you the right words to speak so that she can be turned from this very destructive path she’s on. Proverbs 24:11 tells us to “Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.” A promiscuous lifestyle is extremely dangerous, both physically and mentally. The best thing you can do for her, besides pray for her, is to share with her what the Bible says about purity. God’s word is living and powerful; it will cut right through her excuses and convict her about what she’s been doing (Heb. 4:12), and she probably won’t like to hear it. I know that you don’t want it to be an awkward conversation, but that might be unavoidable. You have to ask yourself what’s more important, telling her the truth, and maybe helping save her from serious trouble and heartache, or not offending her, and watching her suffer the consequences. You are going to have to give her some tough love, and not accept any justifications from her about her actions. Whether she admits it or not, she will have heard the truth, and you can have peace that you did right by her (Ez. 33:7-9).

That being said, it’s also important to pray and act in a spirit of humility and gentleness toward her. You’re going to have to be patient and not argue with her (II Tim. 2:25-26). Keep in mind that if it’s true that she has been involved with boys on an intimate level, she’s actually showing by her behavior that somewhere inside of her, something’s broken. Spiritually healthy 14-year-old girls do not seek out to have sex with boys or men. Whether something has happened to her in her past, or if she has not had the kind of upbringing that teaches about real love, self-control, and purity, it has caused her to give away the part of her that is so precious, it was only meant for her future husband (Gen. 2:24). If she does not receive the Lord’s forgiveness and healing, then she will always have that emptiness in her, and it may drive her into a vicious cycle as she keeps looking for something she won’t be able to find apart from God’s blessing in marriage. When you talk to her, purpose in your heart that you’re going to be firm in the truth, but that you’re going to speak with a gentle tongue, which the Bible says can break a bone (Prov. 25:15). If, while you’re sharing with her, she becomes defensive, remember that “a soft answer turns away wrath” (Prov.15:1). You don’t have to prove that God’s word is true, it is whether she believes it or not (John 17:17). You’re His messenger, and she may not realize right now that you’re there to help pull her away from the fire she’s messing with (Jude 23).

Tell her the truth: You care about her, you want what’s best for her, and you don’t want to see anything bad happen to her. Share with her the passages in I Thess. 4:3-8 and I Cor. 6:13-20, where it talks about how we are supposed to honor God and ourselves by staying pure. Let her know that God has a perfect man waiting for her, one who will love and cherish and desire only her, if she is willing to wait for the Lord to bring him to her (Song of Solomon 6:3, Ps. 18:30). This will be the person that the Lord wants her to live with joyfully for the rest of her life (Eccl. 9:9), a real fairy tale in a world full of happily-never-afters.

If she doesn’t know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, then she may not receive anything you say (John 14:17). But don’t let that stop you from sharing with her the truth of God’s word, and particularly the plan of salvation if she’s not saved. There can’t be any lasting change in her unless she surrenders her life to Jesus. It’s His life in us that causes us to live by faith in God and the power of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 2:19-20). You can’t ever be more of a friend to someone than when you lay down your life for them (John 15:13), and if you are willing to put yourself out there, and not worry about what she will say or how she will react, then that’s a great example of laying down your life, because you love her and want to see her saved. That is what a real friend does.

I hope that you have those kinds of friends in your life, whether it is several people, or even just one or two. Christians need friends in their lives who will stick close to us, walk the extra mile, and help bear our burdens (Prov. 18:24, Matt. 5:41, Gal. 6:2). This girl may have her good qualities, but she should not be the kind of friend that you turn to for wisdom or support. You need someone in your life that will make you stronger in the Lord. The Bible describes that as iron sharpening iron (Prov. 27:17). You need good fellowship with godly brothers and sisters, not guys who are 17-19 and looking to take advantage of a 14-year-old girl. Please be careful about the people you allow to be close to you, because it’s true that bad company corrupts good morals (I Cor. 15:33). Many of the women of WeUsed2bu have had times in our lives where we’ve allowed our friends to drag us down to places where we shouldn’t have been. It’s only by the grace, mercy, and love of Christ Jesus that we’re here to say “Don’t do it!” Follow the Lord with your whole heart, let Him be your best friend, and walk out your life with people who share your love for Him (John 15:15). That’s why we’re here—to be your friends and walk with you in His name. Remember that we’re here for you.

Sincerely,

Beloved By Him

"I Am Proud To Have Sex Before Marriage"

Anonymous from the posting 'Sex Is About Waiting Till You And Your Partner Are Ready' replies...

Dear beloved by him I appreciate you taking the time to write me back I am a Christian and have had sex before marriage I am 20 years old. I am proud to have had sex before marriage because men look down on you if you are not experienced or skilled in this area. I don't think purity is important at all and I don't think I have ever met anyone who has waited until marriage. If God wanted us to wait he would not have made it possible for us to have sex before marriage. I think women and men who are in stable relationships should be able to have sex whenever they are ready. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. And how can you marry someone and not have ever been sexual with them. In order to marry someone you need to know if you are actually sexually attracted to them. And you need to know what youre getting yourself into. Sex can be done at all ages (obviously not under 13) But I know a lot of women who would agree with me. Remember beloved by him you only live once so you should enjoy your life to the fullest :) And my opinion sex is a fun thing between you and your partner. No one should let the bible tell them that they cannot have sex to me thats immoral.

Daughter of The King replies..

Dear Friend,

Your opinions are based on three false concepts; the first false concept you have is that you believe that if God wanted us to wait until marriage for sex He would not have made it possible for us to have sex before marriage. Well, if what you say is true then that must mean that God is okay with us stealing, murdering and raping because if He didn’t want us to do those things either He would not have made it possible for us to do them. I think it’s obvious to everyone that God is definitely opposed to those things, He is opposed to all sin, including sexual sin, yet He still allow us to do them. Why? Because we have free will, God did not create people to have to obey Him, He wants us to want to obey Him out of love not because we have to. In the Bible God tells us what is right and what is wrong then He leaves it up to us to decide if we will listen and obey or if we will think that we are smarter than God and do whatever we want. God will allow you to have all the sex you want with all the men you want, the same way He will allow you to steal, kill and rape all you want (you’ve heard of serial killers and rapist, right?) BUT in the end you will suffer the consequences of your choices.

Psalm 119:137-144 (The Message)

You are right and you do right, GOD; your decisions are right on target. You rightly instruct us in how to live ever faithful to you…
I’m too young to be important, but I don't forget what you tell me… The way you tell me to live is always right; help me understand it so I can live to the fullest.

The second false concept you have is that you think that being sexually “skilled” and “experienced” is admirable and that you would be looked down on you if you weren’t. Let me ask you something; do you think your dad and/or mom is proud of your sexual skills? Do you think that on your honeymoon night your husband is going to feel lucky that you slept with “x” amount of guys and have tons of sexual experience? The only men who admire your sexual experience are men who want to use you. A man who truly loves and respects you would be thrilled and proud to have a wife that no other man has used before and if the two of you are virgins you will get your experience and skill from each other. I know you said you never met anyone who has waited until marriage, I believe you. But just because no one in your family, neighborhood, church or even your state waited it does not make it acceptable by God.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7-8 (New Living Translation)

3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways...7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

The third false concept is that you think that you (not God) decides what is moral and what is not, my friend you couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is that your opinion (or mine) does not matter. It’s not about what you think or feel; it’s about what God says in His word the Bible, He is the authority over what is right and wrong.

2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT)

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right

Dear friend, as you read the verses in this response I pray that His Word would touch your heart and open your eyes to the truth. I pray for your sake that you would recognizes the authority of the Word of God and that you would truly understand what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.

I John 2: 3-7 (NLT)

If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 5 But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

Ephesians 4:17-25 (NLT)

With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the [heathens] do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

Proverbs 12: 15 (NIV)

The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

Purity in Media Part Two

Continued from Purity In Media PT1.

Written By Beloved By Him

When I was a teen, I was into horror novels. One scared me so badly, I had to put it out on my front porch because I couldn’t keep it in my house. I allowed books to fill my mind with page after page of polluted stories that contained ungodly characters, obscene language, demonic influences—stories written by a famous author whose books were turned into movies that I would then go see. (Movies that wouldn’t have made the first cut a few paragraphs ago.) For today’s teens, it’s no different, as books such as the Twilight series portray vampirism as a desirable alternative lifestyle, coupled with the lie that eternal life can be achieved by any means other than through Jesus Christ (check out this link to learn more: Twilight Blood-Soaked Romance). Books like these try to tug on our emotional strings and convince us that it’s possible to find love by embracing darkness, and that it’s okay to set our own standards of good, as long as there’s evil in the world that’s worse than us. This is a complete departure from the Bible, which contains page after page of incredible stories of God’s redemption of His people, as well as the greatest love story ever told: How Jesus Christ loved the world so much that He came to earth and died a horrific death to save us from our sins, then miraculously rose from the dead and was taken up into heaven, where He is waiting for His bride (His people) to spend an eternity in perfect bliss with us. Is there really any book (or magazine—remember how I started this article) that could compare to the written truth of God’s inspired Word? His words are living and active and bring us life when we read them (Heb. 4:12); can the other books in our personal libraries and backpacks do that? If they can’t, then they’re worth less than the paper they’re printed on.

Maybe, though, you don’t watch movies, or have time for TV, and you hate to read a long book. There’s something else that can bombard your brain, and when it does, it’s often literally a few inches from it—coming through your headphones. Music plays a huge part in the spectrum of our lives, from how we relax and have fun, to how we perceive ourselves and our circumstances. The kind of music we listen to tells a lot about where our “head” is, or what ideas we allow to shape our thoughts, and ultimately our behavior (Pr.23:7). A lot of hip hop contains lyrics that degrade women, encourage drinking, and promote violence and a gangster lifestyle. Rock and metal, whether from today or the last several decades, often contains references to sex, drugs, depression, or the occult. Even some country music, which often embraces the values of a good work ethic and a belief in God, can include the suggestion of drinking as a normal part of life to be practiced with regularity and enthusiasm. So am I suggesting that you erase the entire contents of your mp3 player? That depends on what’s on it. Probably not, but if we don’t want the world to tell us how we should be living, then we have to stop letting its music bang our mental drum and start walking to a different beat.

There’s one more place to visit on this virtual tour of your entertainment choices, and you’re already there. The computer is the gateway that gives us access to anything and everything this world can offer, and it needs to be guarded accordingly. One wrong turn, one bad decision, and we open the door to any variety of sins and their bondage. It’s not just the x-rated stuff, either; it’s also the overload of images and information that can be warped and driven into our minds, teaching us to accept, imitate, and assimilate into a society that doesn’t know God. It’s our responsibility to make sure that this doesn’t happen, by using godly wisdom to discern whether or not our entertainment choices are pleasing to Him. Proverbs 8:32-36 shows us the role wisdom should play in making these kinds of decisions:

“Now therefore, listen to me, my children, for blessed are those who keep my (wisdom’s) ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not disdain it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gate, waiting at the posts of my doors. For whoever finds me finds life, and obtains favor from the Lord; but he who sins against me wrongs his own soul; all those who hate me love death.”

We need to listen to and watch those things that will bring us wisdom and life, and wait on the Lord to give us positive choices, instead of rushing headlong into the world’s web of lies and destructive influences. I know I want peaceful seeds of righteousness planted in my mind, not scary books lying in wait on my doorstep.
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Beloved By Him
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Purity in Media Part One

Written By Beloved By Him

Do you ever find yourself tempted in the grocery store? Not by the food, but by the checkout stand--or more specifically, the magazine racks? All the gossip…the rows of airbrushed models and actresses with designer clothes and perfect teeth…throw in a few whacked out headlines from the tabloids, like “Man gives birth to bat baby” or “Loch Ness monster visits Hudson River”, and you’ve got a buffet full of what the world wants us to eat--garbage. Junk food for the mind that will rot our self-esteem and give us fat, covetous hearts that can’t be satisfied with what God gave us. Two minutes in front of the magazine rack can do more damage than what’s in our carts; at least food takes time to digest and our stomachs let us know when we’re full. When it comes to the way we consume media, however, we have to be careful to know when we’ve had enough--or when we need to change our diet altogether. The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8 to think about whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy. With that in mind, let’s take stock of what we’ve already allowed into our lives and minds, and pray about what needs to go!

First, head to the place in your home where you keep your DVD and VHS movies. Start separating them by rating. Be honest--how many R-rated movies do you have access to? These are the easiest to cut out of our entertainment diet, because their R-rating is almost always an indication of objectionable content. It’s not about being “old enough” to watch them; it’s about not allowing graphic depictions of sex, violence, drug use, or other ungodly behaviors to be a part of what we consider entertainment at any age. Continue going through your other movies. It’s highly probable that many with the PG-13 rating are not much different than their R-rated cousins. But what about the ones that aren’t “so bad”? There’s several in this category, plus a number of PG-rated movies, that may not seem to be a problem at first glance. But just because something’s not in-your-face offensive doesn’t mean it’s good for you. How do the themes of the movie line up with the standards of God’s Word? Is there a lot of crude humor and language? Do the main characters treat themselves (their bodies, their attitudes about life) and others (parents, peers, authority figures) with respect? Does the plot contain references to magic and sorcery, portray risky behavior (clubbing, drinking, inappropriate relationships), or does it glorify greed and materialism? These things might be accepted by the world, but they’re not going to teach us how to walk closer with God. And a steady diet of questionable movies is going to weigh us down and ensnare us with a dangerous attitude of complacency towards sin and its consequences (Hebrews 12:1-2).

While you’re at your movie cabinet, you’re probably in close proximity to your TV. This is one place you can easily find cheap material that looks good enough, but in reality, is so bad for you! In that way, TV is like a fast food restaurant: It’s a lot more difficult to find and choose the healthy things on the menu when they’re surrounded by all the tasty junk! Grab your remote and do a drive-thru of your program choices. Television shows with potentially objectionable material are no longer limited to cable or prime time programming. Instead, we have 24-hour access to talk shows that both mock and glorify people’s personal conflicts, soap operas (day and evening, and yes, Gossip Girl counts--check the title) that romanticize emotional and sexual infidelity, style and home improvement programs that teach us to want the bigger and the better, and reality shows that take all of the above and put it out there for the world to see in unedited and unapologetic brashness. (Don‘t even get me started on MTV). Once we remove all of the shows that have a negative influence, we’re left with very few choices to enjoy that won’t compromise our integrity. More than likely, if we find that we have been allowing TV to mindlessly amuse us, then we probably need to unplug and find a better way to fill our free time.

Speaking of free time, a lot of us enjoy reading a good book; after all, parents love to see their kids reading, right? But would your parents approve if they really knew what was in that book? Tomorrow, we’re going to take a heavy look at some of our not-so-light reading, as well as what else we might have in our media mix.

Read Media Pt 2 now
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Beloved By Him
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Purity In Personal Habits

Written By: Didi Zayas

When I really committed my life to Christ at 15, a few lingering sins followed me as I attempted to grow in my faith: listening to music that obviously didn’t glorify God, running my mouth about anything and everything, disrespecting my parents, and most of all, a general interest in doing whatever it took to be popular.

What I didn’t realize was that all those things were distractions with deadly results. Those lingering sins beckoned me to follow after the world instead of my relationship with Jesus.
Yet, I liked them. I liked watching “Dawson’s Creek,” even though most of the story lines were centered on the main characters jumping into bed with their best friends. (Believe me, it was the “Gossip Girl” of my day.) I liked listening to Y100, even though most of the music didn’t just contain bad lyrics; some of it was in direct opposition to my faith. And my favorite pet sin was gossip. I enjoyed gossiping about other people, especially when it made me feel better about myself. It didn’t matter to me if my assumptions about people were nowhere near the truth. I looked – and sounded – just like someone who didn’t believe in Jesus.

I actually enjoyed doing things I knew God disapproved of because I had an impure heart. In fact, my heart still isn’t perfect, but God has begun the process of fixing it up. In Matthew 12:34-35, Jesus said, “… For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” I had allowed those sins in my life for three reasons. First of all, I had an impure heart. Secondly, I hadn’t practiced “storing up” good things from God’s Word in my heart. And, lastly, I was focused on myself and temporary pleasures instead of eternal life.

The purification process

But, the good news is that God didn’t leave me where I was at. He had a plan for me, just like He has a plan for you. He tells us in His Word how to keep our hearts pure. Psalm 119:9-11 says, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” We see from these verses that the good things we’re supposed to store up in our hearts are actually commands from His Word! It even says that we’re supposed to “hide” Bible verses in our hearts, so that they’ll be there to show us the right way when we’re tempted by lingering sins.

The Bible says that we cannot love God if we don’t obey Him. And how can we obey God if we don’t know His commands? It’s all about His Word. Even though His commands sometimes aren’t convenient or popular, believe me, they are a blessing. His Word kept me from following so many paths that seemed great for the moment, but would’ve left me lost and confused in the long run. It got easier and easier to let go of my favorite sins as I learned to seek God and to love His will more than my own. I’m not perfect, but He is in the process of perfecting me. (But, the process won’t be over until I meet Him in heaven.)

Tunnel vision


Another reason I didn’t want to let go of my pet sins was that I had tunnel vision. I was focused on me, myself and I, and the here and now. Instead of trying to purify my heart so I could make an impact on people’s lives for eternity, I was focused on being popular, masterfully winning every argument with my parents, and watching whatever movies piqued my interest. Even though I believed in it myself, I wasn’t focused on God’s big picture plan for freely giving salvation to everyone through Jesus’ death the cross and His resurrection three days later.
If I had cared about the fact that God’s plan was bigger than me, I would have wanted to purify my heart so that others could see Him in me.

Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Did you get that one? A woman who has an impure heart – and therefore an impure lifestyle – is like a hefty pig with an expensive nose ring. In other words, when I let my pet sins take over my life, I was about as useless in representing Christ as a nose ring is to a pig on the day the butcher comes calling.

Refocusing on Him

The truth is that Jesus is coming back soon, to give the people who believe in Him here on earth an eternal life in heaven. It’s written about throughout the Old and New Testaments. What everyone else is left with isn’t so pretty: It’s judgment. If we really believed this to be true, we would be getting rid of every pet sin that hinders our relationship with Jesus Christ so we could be ready for Him on that day, and so we could lead others to get their hearts ready for His return as well. When I was 15, I cared more about the homecoming dance and getting invited to the latest party than I did about choosing not to gossip about someone, so that I could share the Gospel with her instead. Yet, God worked in my heart, just like He can work in yours.

When we give our lives to Him so He can change and transform our hearts – and therefore our lives – He does a wonderful, wonderful work in us.

I have a challenge for you and for me, because my fixer-upper heart that Jesus gave His life for still needs a lot of work. I challenge us to pray that God will look at our lives today and point out any area that might be hindering our relationship with Him. Then I challenge us to pick up the Bible and look for verses to store up in our hearts so God can begin to clean it out. And, lastly, I challenge us to tell someone else about what Jesus is cleaning out of our hearts so that He can start working on his or her heart as well. That way, the sometimes-uncomfortable-but-always-beneficial process of purification can inspire others to deepen their relationship with Jesus too.

If you haven’t placed your faith in Jesus yet, I also challenge you to pick up the Bible and read through Matthew or Romans. You are in for an adventure that is sure to touch your heart and make it squeaky clean.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2.

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Didi Zayas
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Purity Month on WeUsed2bu

To all of our WeUsed2bu friends,

This month we will be addressing the topic of purity in our lives. We will be talking about a variety of issues, from how we dress and act, to what we watch and read, and definitely how we interact with other people, both guys and girls. We will be looking at the standards of purity as outlined in God’s word, and how to apply it in our daily lives. Over the next few weeks, we will feature articles on purity and:

• conduct and clothing
• speech
• media (TV, movies, and books)
• relationships with guys
• relationships with friends
• How purity can start now.

It should be our hearts’ desire to glorify God with all that we are and all that we have. Come take this journey with us, and learn how to become more of the Godly young woman He created you to be.

Sincerely,

The women of WeUsed2bu

Purity Month Articles

Why Purity?
By Lynn Mosher from Heading Home

Purity In Personal Habits by Didi Zaya

Girls Gone Mild by Daughter of The King

Tainted Love Written by Daughter of the King

Purity In Media PT1. by Beloved By Him

Purity in Media PT2. by Beloved By Him

Purity...From A Guy's Perspective by Mike C aka A New Me

Why Purity?

By Lynn Mosher
from Heading Home

In the Old Testament of the Bible, King David said to God, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous-and how well I know it.” (Ps. 139:13-14 TLB)

God made each of us as a precious being: A body, soul, and spirit needing special care. His intention was that we preserve the purity of our bodies, protecting them from anything that would harm the integrity of His creation, His gift to each of us.

The Bible says we are to keep ourselves pure. So, how do we treat our bodies? How do you keep your body pure? Let’s take a look. To preserve purity, be cautious about…

…what you allow to enter your ears
…what you allow to enter your eyes

What do you look at or listen to that tempts you or puts you at risk of lusting, or desiring what you shouldn’t have? You cannot look at or listen to just anything. Your eyes and ears act as conveyor belts of the world’s junk, dumping it all into your mind and heart. Impure sights and sounds siphon out the purity of your life and become infinitesimal steps of separation between you and God. Making careful choices is essential, especially when it comes to being cautious as to…

…what you do with your body

Do you place yourself in the position of trying to fit in with what others are doing? Like drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or having sex? Let’s just focus on one: sex.

1) You do not have to give into your boyfriend’s pleas that he loves you. If he had respect for you, he would not force himself upon you.

2) You are not a baby for wanting to remain pure and not giving him your body. You are not his sex toy.

3) Engaging in sex does not makes you popular. If you think having sex makes you more popular among your peers, think again. Studies show that others will like and respect you less when you engage in sex. Getting a reputation for being promiscuous, slutty, or easy will stay with you long after high school or college is over.

4) Oral sex is not safe. Teens believe oral sex is the safe alternative to intercourse. However, statistics prove otherwise.

Why stay sexually pure? Well, how about for these reasons:

1) Sexually transmitted diseases such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes. These things are contracted not only by having intercourse but also by having oral sex.

2) This biggy…HIV. HIV and some STDs are forever, meaning they cannot be cured.

3) And this one…pregnancy. You’ll be responsible for taking care of another life in addition to your own.

4) Depression and suicide. Studies have shown that early sexual activity undermines the emotional well-being of teenagers. When compared to teens that are not sexually active, those who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed and attempt suicide.

5) The greatest reason for not having sex is that God doesn’t want you to, because of all these negative effects and because He has a better plan for your life. Your body is sacred territory. It is the temple of God. The apostle Paul wrote, “But sexual sin is never right: our bodies were not made for that but for the Lord, and the Lord wants to fill our bodies with Himself.” (1 Cor. 6:13b TLB)

In order to stay pure, make sure you don’t place yourself in a compromising position and you won’t have to worry about it. If you know that being alone with a boy will stir up your hormones to the lusting stage, then don’t make plans to be alone with him.
If, however, you have engaged in sex of any form, God still loves you. You can never do anything that can make Him stop loving you. His forgiveness is always available.

Saving yourself for that right mate in your future is the smart and right thing to do. It is God’s plan for your life. I pray you will have strength to turn away from temptation. Be blessed with purity.

~~Stay pure for the love of your life, Lynn~~


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Lynn Mosher

From Heading Home

Read Her Story
Read articles written by Lynn

"Sex Is About Waiting Until You & Your Partner Are Ready!"

Anonymous said...
Why is purity so important? I don't find anything wrong with having sex before marriage. Sex is about waiting until YOU and YOUR PARTNER are ready!

Beloved by Him said...

When we question why purity is important, what we’re really asking is if God’s Word is true. The Bible’s standards of purity haven’t ever changed (Ps. 12:6). What’s changed is society’s standards. Prov. 30:12 says, “There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness.” What’s acceptable to the world is not what’s acceptable to God. He requires a completely different standard: “Be holy, for I am holy” (I Peter 1:15-16). Holiness is the real definition of purity.

So with regard to sex, what does purity look like in God’s eyes? Only one thing—marriage. Heb. 13:4 says that “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Any sex outside of the marriage relationship is impure and sinful. This includes fornication (sex before marriage), adultery (sex outside of marriage), and homosexuality (same-sex relationships). These are all examples of what the Bible calls “sexual immorality”, and they are definitely not okay with God. He clearly defines His will for us in I Thessalonians 4:3-8:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the Avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, Who has also given us His Holy Spirit.”

It’s important to look at verse six of that passage, where the terms “take advantage of” and “defraud” are used. Sexual sin is sin against our own bodies (I Cor. 6:18), as well as someone else’s. It robs a future spouse of something precious that should have only been theirs (Gen. 2:24). Plus, because a Christian’s body is literally the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:19), sexual sin defiles the dwelling place of God. There’s nothing good or beautiful or holy about sex under these circumstances.

The other point you make is that you feel you should be able to have sex when you feel you are ready. Dear sister, you don’t have the right to make the decision to have sex outside of marriage. I Cor. 6:13 says, “Now the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” We belong to God, having been designed and created by Him in Christ Jesus to do the good works He’s prepared for us (Eph. 2:10). He wants to give us His love, eternal salvation, and all the benefits of His goodness (John 3:16, Ps. 103:2). This includes the perfect husband He has chosen for us. It’s our reasonable service to God to keep ourselves pure and wait for Him to bring that person to us (Rom. 12:1-2). He would never tempt us by bringing us the wrong person or even the right person at the wrong time (James 1:13). Choosing to have sex outside of marriage will never bring us real love or happiness—choosing to be pure in God’s eyes will. When we make the decision to turn away from temptation and trust in God’s perfect plan, He promises to bless us with all the things He wants to give to us: life, length of days, hope, joy, and His fullness (Matt. 6:33, Jer. 29:11, Eph. 3:19). Those things are what make purity worth the wait.

He's Having A Hard Time Sticking With One Girl

Anonymous' Prayer Request...
Please pray for my "friend" Steven. He's having a hard time sticking with one girl and I know I still love him, even his sister says she can't see him happier or becoming a better Christian with anyone else but me. So please pray that he will learn what he's doing to these girls. If I can't have him, I at least want the girl that gets him to be happy and not have to worry about another woman in his life. I want him happy no matter what

Trophy of Grace prays...
My Dear Father,

You see this young man and is heart towards women. Help him to see the error in his ways. Teach him Lord the importance of fearing you. Change his heart Lord. Allow him to see that your kindness is meant to lead him to repentance. I know that it is not your will Lord that any should perish. If he has not believed in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior then please Holy Spirit touch his heart. Allow him to see that He needs You. Allow him to realize that his is a sinner. I pray that tonight as he lays in bed that his heart would be touched and he would cry out to You for forgiveness. I trust your Lord and I know that you are doing something in His heart right now and his heart will not be hardened to the Holy Spirit. He will receive your Word and He will be changed for ever.

For this dear sister I pray that you would help her too Lord. You see that she still loves this young man and it hurts her to see what he is doing. Help her to heal from this whole relationship and if it be your will for her to get away from this situation completely then give her the strength to move on. Help her to get her focus completely on You. Help her to leave this young man in your hands. This is not a burden for her to carry but instead to pray and cast this care on you because you care about him and her. Give her a desire to want to serve you and to become your handmaiden. In Jesus name..Amen..

I Found Out He's Not a Virgin

Anonymous said... Hey there, I'm in a tough situation, needing some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together about 4 or 5 months. We love each other very very much and want to get to know everything about each other. We both grew up in Christian homes and still go to church. I have grown in my faith a lot; I'm a youth leader for grade 8 girls at my youth group and he has volunteered with children's ministry and is taking over the whole thing this fall! We haven't started doing devotions together but have agreed that we ought to start doing them together.
I'm very much in love with him, that is why I was concerned with how far he has gone in previous relationships. I found out VERY recently, like 2 days ago!! that he is not a virgin.

As a Christian girl I try my best to think of the man I'll marry and not to make mistakes that I'll regret later on. Part of me feels betrayed because I took such care in doing so, why didn't he?

Also I thought I knew him better than that. I figured he was pure and thought pretty much the same way I do.

I know for sure that I don't want to break up. The love I have for him is like nothing I've felt for anybody, and I don't want something like this to be the end of us.

Now I feel like I need time and space to get over it, but don't feel like he is willing to give it to me. He seems to not understand at all, and very closed off about it as far as, "It was my past, I'm over it, why aren't you?" It doesn't work that way for me. I do know that in general guys just want to get it overwith. I just wish he'd realize if he really means what he says (that he just wants me to be okay and get past this) then he'll have to wait for me to heal. This is a pretty big thing to me.

Everytime I look at him or he touches me I think of him doing something to another girl and it really hurts. If we ever do get married, which I sincerely hope we do, because he just seems so much like the one, then I don't want to have to deal with thinking of him doing stuff with another girl instead of staying pure for the girl he'll marry (he says he wants it to be me).
How can I get over this, I really want to but sincerely can't think of where and how to start.

Trophy of Gracesaid...
My dear sister you have to let this go. If you want to be with him and you see a future with this young man then leave the past alone. If he is trying to live a righteous, pure, and holy life now then don’t continue to chastise him for his past mistakes. If he has confessed his sins and repented of his ways then you have to forgive him just as God has forgiven you. Our Lord has pardoned his sin and forgiven his transgression. He has not stayed angry with him but has shown him mercy and compassion. He has treaded all of our sins underfoot and hurled our iniquities into the depths of the sea. We have to leave them there, not go fishing for them. You too have to be merciful and remember his sins no more. Remember that love covers a multitude of sins. (Micah 7:18-19, 1 Peter 4:8, Colossians 3:13)

The only way you can get over it is by choosing daily to let it go. Don’t meditate on the past, especially if you see that he is growing into a godly man. I totally understand that you feel betrayed and hurt because he has been with someone else. That’s tough..This is something that you have to take to the Lord. Ask Him to give you confirmation if this is the relationship that He wants you to be in. Is this the man for you? He will answer you I promise. You just have to listen to the Holy Spirit and don’t doubt that He will give you clear responses and direction. (James 1: 5-8)

I believe that you may be right to take a couple of days to meditate on the Word of God and seek God’s face about what you are feeling. Perhaps you both should take a couple of days to pray for one another about this. Take three days of just praying, reading the Word, and singing praises to the Lord without communicating with one another. Also, consider fasting during some of that time. Write and journal your prayers and supplications, see what the Spirit of God ministers to you. Afterwards meet up and share your experiences and what you learned.

Enclosing let me tell you that our biggest battles are usually in the mind. We have to battle all types of thoughts that the enemy will flood our minds with. It is our choice if we are going to listen to the tormenting thoughts or if we are going to listen to the Holy Spirit. If after praying and seeking the Lord you feel lead to be with this young man then you will need to bring every thought captive. Don’t allow yourself to start imagining all types of things. Meditate on the Word of God. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

You will be in my prayers sister..

My 16-yr-old Daughter is Not Pure Anymore

Anonymous said...
How to handle finding out your 16 yr daughter is partly not pure anymore. I haven't said anything to her yet. But My first reactin is to ground her and make her read verses all day. I'm so hurt by this
I'm having a hard time typin.
Please Help.

Beloved by Him said...
When a son or daughter sacrifices his or her purity, the loss is not just theirs, it’s also the parents’, particularly when it’s a Christian family that’s involved. A parent who walks with the Lord knows and understands more fully what a precious gift sexual purity is, and hopes that their child will guard and keep it for the person that God has chosen as the child’s future spouse. When that doesn’t happen, it’s totally normal for a parent to be angry, grief-stricken, worried, and disappointed (Prov.10:1, 17:25). This is when we have to cry out to Jesus for the help we need, for the child and for us. This is when we really learn about and lean on God’s love and faithfulness.

Make sure that before you confront your daughter, you have committed your spirit into the Lord’s hands. Get into the Word. Pray for the peace that passes understanding. Pour out your heart before Him. You need to do this now, and you’re going to have to do it many more times, because this is no quick-fix situation. Putting her in her room and having her copy Bible verses will not substitute for the loving relationship you can build with her, even if she fights and says she doesn’t want you or your rules. Determine like Paul did in Philippians 2: 17 that you are going to pour yourself out like a drink offering, so that the Lord can fill you and move in you by His Spirit. Pray especially for patience and longsuffering, which will be the ability to “bear up under” the pain and “put fury far off while suffering wrong”. And as difficult as it may be, purpose to be gentle when you talk to her. David said in Psalm 18:35 that “Your gentleness has made me great.” You need to reflect God’s face to her, not the flood of emotions that you are feeling. Ask God to give you the quiet and gentle spirit that is precious to Him (1 Peter 3: 4), and the right and fitting words to say (Prov. 25: 11). I know it may seem impossible! But remember, all things are possible with God (Matt. 19: 26).

You are going to have to find out from her, though it may be difficult for both of you, the extent of her actions. Was this a one-time event, or is she caught up in a cycle of bad behavior? Who else, if anyone, was involved? There are going to be some very uncomfortable moments, because, after all, this is a beloved child that we’re talking about. (Stop…breathe…pray) Don’t be surprised if what you already know is not all there is to know. Hopefully, she will be open to talking to you. Encourage her that the more honest she is, the more helpful it will be. Remind her that the Lord already knows, and has provided all the forgiveness she needs. Share Prov. 28: 13 with her, “Whoever covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” And you have to be prepared to give her mercy, too. Don’t turn her actions into shame or punish her unjustly. The Lord will show you how to discipline her so that it is profitable for her good (Hebrews 12: 10-11). When her confession is done, make sure that she knows you forgive her (Colossians 3:12-13), and that you will always love her, no matter what (Prov. 10:12, 1 Peter 4:8).

It is so important that even in this difficult time, you keep your eyes, heart, and hope set on Him. If you keep focusing on your daughter’s sin, you will become bitter, and will find it hard to resist the temptations to keep bringing it up, to stop believing the best about her, and possibly even to treat her with less respect. It’s very easy to allow unforgiveness to permeate our thoughts and actions, in the name of discipline or self-righteousness. Romans 3: 10 says, “There is none righteous, no, not one.” We know that we’re all sinners, but when it’s our child, we can incorrectly assume that their wrong actions mean that we’ve failed as a parent. If that were so, then God would be in the same boat, and of course He’s not. Your daughter made a wrong choice, and there will be consequences. Still, she is not her sin. If she is a Christian, then she is the righteousness of Christ (Phil. 3: 9), and God will use this for her good, because she is called to His purpose (Romans 8: 28), and He will be glorified in her. Choose to walk by faith, not by sight, and believe the best about her. Meditate on Scriptures that proclaim God’s promises for our descendants, such as Isaiah 54:13 and Prov. 22: 6. Most importantly, don’t give up. We are promised in Galatians 6:8-9 that if we don’t grow weary or lose heart, we will reap everlasting life. You are sowing seeds of God’s eternal love and faithfulness into this situation. Yes, you may sow in tears, but by God’s grace, you will reap in joy (Psalm 126: 5-6).

Beloved by Him

How Can I Guard My Heart and Stay Immersed in Christ?

Anonymous writes...

Hello! I need some advice. I am 17 years old, and I am dating a wonderful 17-year-old Christian boy. We met a couple of months ago and we instantly clicked. It's like we've always been friends.

God is the most important thing in my life, and I want to glorify Him in everything I do. He feels the same way. We both love to study the Bible and to talk to God. We talk to each other about God. We encourage each other. He helps me to grow spiritually. He is also very kind and respectful. I feel like this is the guy I've prayed for.

I could and would "fall in love" with this guy. I could see us spending our lives together. But I also want to guard my heart. I have prayed for God's guidance in this relationship, and I trust that He will work everything out for the best. How can I guard my heart and stay immersed in Christ, yet still accept and enjoy this wonderful gift God has given me?

Trophy of Grace replies..

Sounds like you are already doing it. This is wonderful to hear. It seems to me that you both are really trying to honor the Lord. You are praying and seeking the Lord’s will for this relationship. You are asking Him to help guard your heart. You both pray and edify one another. This is great!! Keep doing what you’re doing.

We posted this article called “Ten Ways to Practice Purity” awhile back. Click the title to read the article.

I enjoyed it and found it to be very practical. When you get a chance read it. I think you’ll find it helpful too.

Continue to draw close to the Lord and He will continue to draw close you. You have the mind of Christ and His Holy Spirit which will lead and guide you all the days of your life. You will never be forsaken. He has taught to have reverence for Him and therefore you are already guarding your heart. You are pleasing Him by seeking to obey His Word and desiring His will for your life.

When you are praying take time to listen to the Lord and you will see that He is guiding you every step of the way. He will not allow you to stumble and fall. His right hand is holding you. The Word of God is what is guarding your heart. Meditate on it day and night. Then you will be sure to do all that it says and He will bless you in all that you do.

Ps. 37:23, Ps. 119:105, Ps. 32:8

God bless you my sweet sister in the Lord,

Trophy of Grace

I've Been Wondering For A Little While Now..

WARNING THIS POSTING IS GRAPHIC IN NATURE..

Anonymous said...
I've been wondering for a little while now... Is anal sex the same as regular(vaginal) sex, in the sense that one loses their virginity? If I were to have anal sex, would I no longer be a virgin? Or is anal sex pretty much the same thing?

Daughter of the King said...

Sweetheart, you lose your virginity when you have sex, any sex. Vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex it’s all sex. That’s the short answer but let’s dig into this a little deeper because it’s important to understand what God expects of us.

First, God expects us to be pure all over not just our vaginas. He wants us to have pure hearts, minds and bodies because this is what sets us apart from others and what honors Him.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) says: 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

We are not honoring God when we get involved in any type of sexual activity with someone who is not our husband, the bible is clear that sex, any type of sex is only for married people.

Matthew 19:4-6 (Contemporary English Version)4Jesus answered, "Don't you know that in the beginning the Creator made a man and a woman? 5That's why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. He becomes like one person with his wife. 6Then they are no longer two people, but one. And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together."

When the bible says that they became like one person that means they had sexual intercourse. The man and the woman are like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. When we have sex outside of marriage the bible says that we defile ourselves.

To be defiled means to be made dirty, polluted and foul; I promise you one thing, if you do get involved in sexual activity outside of marriage you are going to end up feeling dirty, foul and used. God loves you so much that He does not want you to feel like that; that’s why He wants you to wait until your married.

Now I want to talk a little about anal sex specifically. Our bodies were not created to have anal sex; the purpose of the anus is to eliminate body waste (poop) it’s meant for stuff to come out of it not go in. The anus is a very tight muscle and it needs to be tight so that we can “hold it” until we get to the bathroom; anal sex causes damage to that muscle and after a while it will no longer be able to hold your waste in and you will experience anal leakage; which means that you can’t control your bowels. I have heard of people who used to have anal sex and now have to wear adult diapers and I’m not talking about senior citizens. Anal sex causes your anal muscle to tear and bleed, it can lead to serious digestive problems, constipation, irregularity (of bowel movements), and ultimately to cancer of the rectum. How about STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases)? Yes, you can get STD’s with anal sex and your chances of getting AIDS are higher than with vaginal sex. Your anus was just not created for sex.

So to sum this up: Love yourself the way God loves you and stay pure (all over) until the day you marry. Respect yourself and ask the man in your life to respect you too. If he really loves you he wouldn’t want to do anything to you that would hurt you.

I Want To Make Sure This Love Doesn't Turn To Lust

Anonymous said...
Hi...I'm 20 years old and I'm in love with someone. We have been friends for a while and we both are FULLY devoted to God. But there's a problem...we have been through so much in our pasts and I know he just might be afraid of getting into a relationship because he wants to serve the Lord with no distractions (which I also agree with)especially since we have a ministry to look after. I've prayed to God and He tells me to wait...I just wanted to know what are some things I can do to ensure I stay patient and to make sure this love doesn't turn into lust.Thank you so much!!!

Trophy of Grace says..

The first thing that came to mind when I read this is she needs to get away from him for right now. If you each want to be able to focus on your ministries and your relationship with the Lord right now then perhaps you need to take some time apart from each other. A break may be needed while you take some time to pray and build yourself up with the Word of God.

If being around each other causes lustful feelings that are distracting then you really need to RUN from this temptation, until you are able to control your emotions.

"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." 2 Timothy 2:22

"If you keep yourself pure, you will be a utensil God can use for His purpose. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work." (2 Timothy 2:21 NLT)

These are times that you must draw close to the Lord. He has to be the one that you call on to give you the strength and self- control to do the right thing. It is in His strength NOT IN YOUR OWN that you will overcome. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Just be patient and wait on the Lord. He has the right person for you and He will bring him in His timing. You just have to trust Him. It may or may not be this young man.

Always remember that our Lord does not tempt us.

James 1:12-15 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong,[and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

I love you sister…May our Lord give you the strength and the power of the Holy Spirit to help you overcome and resist this temptation. You can do all things through our Lord who gives you the power to overcome. It is that same power that raised Him for the grave. Glory to God for the victory..God bless you..

I Decided to Stay Pure... the Girl Offered Him Sex

Anonymous commented:
Hi....I need some really good advices...I've been going out with my bf for 5 months...everything was doing good until when I found flirtatious messages on his phone... I asked what was it about? After lying so much to me, it admitted that he met an old friend of his and it happened that they kissed and he said that was the only thing that happened. I beleived him and I told him that next time he does something like this ..I'm gonna break up with him...yesterday I found out that he had sex with the same girl that he kissed 6 weeks ago...I asked him why did he do that ? he told me since I decided to stay pure until mariage... the girl offered him to have sex, it found it as an opportunity..he said that he's sorry and he's willing to change but I don't know if he is really sincere...I wanna leave him so bad but deep inside I wanna give him a second chance .i dont know what to do..please give me some Godly advices.

Saved By Faith answered:
Dear sister, I’m glad that you’ve chosen to remain pure until marriage. That is a very difficult and yet responsible decision. Although 5 months seems like an eternity, you and he are still getting to know one another. And the fact that he’s lied and cheated doesn’t help the situation.

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man,
but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Proverbs 12:22
The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in men who are truthful.

God’s intended partner for you will have the same beliefs and will respect your decision to live a Christian life, as he will be following the same lifestyle. Your intended partner will not use your beliefs as a crutch or excuse to disrespect your relationship. He will love Christ, be honest and will genuinely care for you. That is the person that God has for you.

Psalm 15:2-3
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

I think you should take into consideration the length of the relationship and how long into it that he violated its sanctity. He was so quick to have an excuse to stray… you have to be able to fully trust your partner.

Knowing the word of God should make your decision a little clearer. Pray that God gives you the wisdom (James 1:5) and strength to make a sound, healthy decision.

I will pray for you.

Your sister,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Saved By Faith said...
I've returned to your question because it's been weighing heavy on my heart...

I don’t think you should continue a relationship with this guy. He’s violated the relationship and, in a sense, has tried to belittle your obedience to God for his own satisfaction.

Keep your focus on the Lord and He will bring you your life partner.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

In God’s time, you will have a man who:
- shows you respect
- makes you feel safe
- demonstrates his faith in God

Here are a couple of resources that you might find enlightening:

10 Ways to Practice Purity by Ron Hutchcraft

Christianity Today, Ignite Your Faith

What’s Love Got To Do With It – Part 2

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

You see it all over: Girls with girls; guys with guys; threesomes, foursomes, grouping, hooking up, booty calls. Experimenting with your sexuality trying to cover all the bases before you decide what could possibly make you happy. And this old excuse, “It’s like trying on shoes before you buy them. You never know what style you’ll like.” Uh yeah, like I’m a shoe. I don’t think so.

First, God’s perspective about homosexuality…uh, an abomination (repugnant, disgraceful, atrocious, wickedness) Leviticus 18:22. Not only is it a sin against the will of God, it is a sin against your own body.

“Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.” ( 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 )

Now typically, men and women have different perspectives about sex, both straight and homosexual.



Women who dabble into homosexual relationships, seek emotional intimacy first, that gives way to physical, sexual intimacy. A female partner doesn’t mind talking about every little thing, how they feel, their dreams, insecurities, etc. A homosexual man is quick to accept physical, sexual intimacy as a means to replace/separate emotional intimacy. Multiple partners is way of life and extremely dangerous, not only unhealthy (don’t even get me started about condom use as safe), but essentially begins to desensitize the individual.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of tape, and start placing it on and off your body about 20 times. After you do that, does the tape stick to anything anymore? No. When we have multiple sex partners, the tape is like our hearts. We can’t connect emotionally with anybody anymore and we can’t understand why we act the way we act. Our hearts become full of scar tissue. Like a thick fortress, our hearts are full of love but it cannot get out and the love from another cannot get in.

When we choose to listen to Satan, and chase after his perversion, it is very difficult to seek after God. However, because Jesus died for ALL our sins, we become new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 6:15). Once we have this new life, we don’t have to act the way we used to act, talk like we used to talk, think the way we used to think. And though Satan would like to bring up our past to torture us, we have a Savior, in Jesus who ransomed us and paid the penalty for our sin in full.

We can choose to be free, and not a slave to our past.

*** Continued from What's Love Got To Do With It ***

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

I got issues; issues about girls giving up their treasure in exchange for the illusion of intimacy. The line is long a and filled with girls and women who have shattered hopes, unrealistic expectations, a lifetime of STD’s, twisted sexual desires and mental anguish about their actions. What am I talking about? Is this another chat about sex, yes; but let’s look at the spiritual aspect of God’s gift to us.

It’s inevitable; someday, someone who you are not married to will utter the tired, worn line, “If you love me, then show me how much you love me.”

See the trap? Have you placed yourself in a situation that the “temptation” to give yourself over into sexual sin too great? But he loves me and I so want him to make me “feel like a woman!” Isn’t that a “natural response” to someone who you have a special, strong connection with? Whether you’re 12 or 62, it’s that same battle. And don’t for a second believe that the teen, or 20, or 30 or 40 or 50 something female has a clue about their sexuality, especially if they do not have a strong commitment to Jesus Christ. Satan wants to rob you of God’s precious gift and pervert your perception of sex. Hold up; stand back. Let’s look at the situation in its’ real context.

Sex is a wonderfully exciting fulfilling act. God made our bodies to react to certain stimuli in a specific manner for a specific reason. Our bodies were fantastically made by God to experience these feelings and responses layered in complex emotions. God even sanctifies (to make holy or sacred; to be free from sin, purified) sex by telling His creation, Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). But all of this is meant only in the context of marriage, NOT JUST A RELATIONSHIP (48 months or 48 minutes)! And certainly not someone who has to talk you into surrendering your gift, just to prove something. And another thing, oral sex is sex. Simply because there’s no penetration with a penis, an orgasm is an orgasm if someone brings you to climax.



God gave us this physical experience which is first spiritual, then physical. Let’s define some terms. Sex is seeking gratification to satisfy a biological drive. And if you believe we come from apes or some primordial slime, it’s just a skip and a jump to justify satisfying an animalistic urge. Making love , on the other hand, is the meaningful, fulfilling, spiritual expression of the consummation of a marriage. A husband submits to his wife, as a wife submits to her husband to bring one another to a level of exciting intimacy the God intended for us as a gift. In Hebrews 13:4, the Bible says, “Marriage is honorable ( admirable, moral, respectable, good) among all, and the bed undefiled (unsoiled, precious, free from deformity, debased, or impaired): but fornicators (sex before marriage) and adulterers (sex outside of marriage) God WILL judge.”

So, that’s God perspective of His gift to us. We need to see ourselves from His vantage point, not as animals just having sex because it’s “natural.” The big lie of Satan is that “everybody is doing it,” “it’ll make me a man,” “it’ll make me a woman,” “but we love each other” etc. We are not animals who cannot reason, or think of consequences, or just live in the moment. We are divinely created by a loving God, who wants us to be Holy, full of purpose and direction. He wants us to be all we can be, all He created us to be.

My Lustful Desires

QUESTION: im 18 n im not a virgin ne more n sometimes i get these overwhelming desires to just hook up w/ ppl i start gettin to kno.....is that normal??

ANSWER: Humans were created to have sexual urges and these urges are natural. However, acting upon them is a different story.

God created us to have sexual pleasure in a member of the opposite sex, but not with just anyone… only with a spouse. He didn't make us to satisfy our desires from person to person, stranger, boyfriend or fiancée. Desiring someone who doesn't belong to you in marriage causes frustration and strays away from what the Lord wants for you… true love and true intimacy.

One of the enemy’s goals is to use a cheap imitation of God’s perfect plan of marriage’s true love and intimacy by using LUST. Lust is a longing that is uncontained and uncontrolled. It is the opposite of self-control, which is one of the "fruits of the Holy Spirit" (Galatians 5:23). Jesus wanted to set us free from these fleshly desires. God will allow us to fulfill these desires with a spouse in His good timing. Until that time, we must learn to control our sex drives.

Draw closer to God for the strength and self-control you need. God is our source of strength and the only defense against the enemy's attacks of lust. Building a relationship with God will give you a desire to please Him more than your own flesh desires.

James 1:13 -18

Be strong in the Lord! Study God's word and seek His will. Remember that the devil's temptations are always deceitful: he may offer you pleasure now but it comes with a horrible price to pay sooner or later.

John 8:34-36

Saved By Faith

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