I Feel So Lost and Confused

Anonymous said...
I need advice on a subject that everybody keeps telling me to just simple move on from its better said then done i was in a relatinship with this guy and i really loved him i mean i really did to the point where my relationship with god faded everyday.He later broke up with me because he said that we had nothing in common long story short the day that me and him broke up he was already trying to get with this girl who he said he had more in common with from what i hear she is in 12th grade and i already knew he was in 11th but after he graduates they are surpose to be getting married this was about 3 months ago that we had been brokenup i fill so bad like i drove him to her i see him and her together down the hall holding had all the time its as if we never had anything at all and the worst part about it is i gave him my first kiss i was saving it for my future husband but now its gone and we almost slept together to but the holy spirit would not let me .i fill awful i find myself constantly thinking about him and her and how stupid i was for falling for him .as you are reading this please stop and pray for me .i fill so lost and confused

Trophy of Grace said...
Ok..As you requested..

My Dear Lord,

You see my sister’s heart here. She is hurt and confused. Help her to heal from these feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Let her realize in her heart that she is a special child of God born with a purpose and destined to serve you. I thank you Lord that you have removed this young man from her life. I thank you that she did not follow through with giving herself to this young man. Help her to stay completely pure. Pure in her mind, heart and body. Use this situation to draw her closer to You. We know that you work every thing out for our good and I know that you are doing a wonderful work in her. Help her to forgive this young man and move on with her life knowing without a shadow of doubt that you have the right man out there for her. A man that loves you and will love her too. In Jesus name I pray..Amen.

My Dear sweet sister,

This break up was the best thing that could have happened for you. Anything that draws us away from God is never from God. Always remember that..You said that this relationship caused your relationship with God to fade. You can not ever put your eyes on man. Your eyes have to remain on God. You have to learn to fear Him and love His Word. Seek Him again and He will heal your wounds. (Psalm 30:2)

There is a comment that we have on our MySpace that says, “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek God in order to find her.” You have to turn around and start really seeking God’s face. Allow Him to make your crooked paths straight and do a new thing in your life. Forget the past and look ahead because He has a wonderful plan for you and He wants to help you become a mighty women of God. So trust Him when He allows people to be removed from your life, especially when those people become a wedge between you and your Savior.

The scripture that keeps coming up in my mind is Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

You have to seek God’s will and His way in your life. He will be your Guide. His Holy Spirit living in us gives us the ability to make wise decisions based on the Word of God, but you have to know the Word of God. The more you read the bible you will see that your mind will be renewed and you’ll learn to have respect for God. Respecting or fearing God will give you a desire to live a righteous Christian life and you will see that this will result in many blessings. Blessings like a godly man who will want to serve you and respect your desire to want to serve God. In fact He will help you in your walk of faith and encourage you to persevere in Christ Jesus.

It’s time for a change sister. Come back to the One who truly loves your and never leaves you and forsakes you.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

P.S.

Forgive this young man and find healing. If you do not forgive him you will not be able to move on. Just accept this as a blessing and remember what Romans 8:28-30 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

He Had A Fling & She Got Pregnant Too

Anonymous said...
Ok so..here goes...My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. Not being obedient, we had a daughter, now shes 7 mos. However, now we broke up for about one month, and he had a fling with another woman and she got pregnant as well. Our daughters are 6 weeks apart.I love him a lot, however, even though we were officially not together, I feel betrayed. Not to mention the conviction I feel for not keepin my temple holy. Any who..He's a great father two both girls, and is really considerate of my feelings about the situation, He constantly apologizes. He's saved, and I forgive him..but why do i feel so insecure? I believe he is my husband, however, I don't want to deal wit' the baby mama drama. I feel like I have a choice, take care of me and my daughter, or stick it out with my potential husband. I've prayed, and prayed and prayed...I don't know what God wants me to do...what do you guys think?

Trophy of Grace replies..

This is a tough situation to be in. I’m sure that you are struggling with so many different emotions. The insecurity is most probably coming from the fact that all though you feel like he’s your husband the actual commitment and covenant (promise) has not been made before God yet. I think that there is reason for concern. Your concerns and insecurities will remain there until the day that you both commit to holy matrimony. Even then you will have to pray and ask God to help you both heal from your past experiences before the marriage.

Many people do not realize that marriage is so special. When you make that covenant before God it makes you want to fight for the sake of your family. It gives you a sense of security in your relationship especially when you know that you have married the man that God has for you. Marriage is hard work but when you sow into your marriage seeds of love and determination you reap a wonderful harvest of blessings. These blessings are only bestowed on those couples who have determined to commit their relationship to God by marrying.

If he’s saved and you know that your body is the temple of God, then I am assuming that you both are going to church. If not then that is the first place you both need to be. Going to church will give you both an environment where you can grow in your faith and have accountability, brothers and sisters in the Lord that will help in your walk with God. Besides going to church I hope that you are reading the bible daily so that your faith, trust, and love for the Lord will grow. Reading the Word gives us wisdom, direction, correction, comfort, and confirmation. It prepares us for every good work that God has for us. It is your manual for living life more abundantly.
Prayerfully consider rededicating your life to the Lord.

Go to your boyfriend and discuss with him openly and honestly your concerns and see where he stands on the marriage issue. You may consider seeking godly counsel together for your relationship. My husband and I enjoy talking to our pastor together. We appreciate and value his advice and counsel.

Regarding the baby mama drama.. well..that is something that you both will have to pray about. You have not said what exactly you’re going through with the baby mama, but I suggest that you allow him to deal with her. I know that it may cause you feelings of jealousy or insecurity but she is the mother of his child. For the sake of the child you must pursue peace at all times. Don’t resent the child because the baby did not have a say as to when and to whom she was born. Both babies are here now and deserve to be cherished and treated with love. Ask God to give you a loving heart towards the child and an understanding heart towards the mother. I am sure this is not easy for her either. What woman plans on getting pregnant and then having the man that got her pregnant go back to the woman he loves. That must be hard too.

There is nothing you can do to change what has happened. So there is no point in using negative emotions to deal with the situation. Jealousy, anger, wrath, arguing and fighting will not produce anything positive for any of you. Forgive all parties involved and move on from here trusting God to help you forgive daily and heal from the pain.

It is time to stop doing things your own way and allow God to make all of your crooked paths straight. You have to trust in Him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. I promise that if you will seek Him with all of your heart that you will find Him and your life will be changed. You are a mother now and one day you will be a wife. If you want to be successful at both of these you will need God’s help and guidance. Humble yourself before Him and He will lift you back up. He does have a wonderful plan for your life. Plans to give you a future and a hope, but first you must submit your life to Him and His plan. Then He will give you the desires of your heart. You can never imagine the goods that He has planned for your family.

Go and seek Him and you will find healing…

God bless you sister.

Come back any time we are here for you..

Love,

Trophy of Grace

Forgive Him & Let it Go

denay said...
Hi this is my first time ever being on this site and I need advice bad i mean really bad I have been in a relationship with God EVERY since I was 12 and I am now 18.Well i have just gotten out of this relationship with my ex boyfriend he broke up with me we were going out for almost two years he was my first love.he broke up with me for another girl and this girl is very how can i say this freaky he is a virgin and now he goes with her . the bad thing about it is that he dumped me and the same day i saw him walking with her down the hall way he even went to the extreame of telling me that she was about to get married and after the chrismas brake they came back holding hands now that really hurt. Well anyway i need advice my sister and my friends keep telling me i should say hi to them or him when i see him well i did. and i think it kind of blew up in my face now i think he thinks that i want to go back with him. OK this is what happened today i saw him talking to this girl thats not his girl friend so i walked over and taped him on his shoulder and said hi was that a little to much and if so pleeeeeeeeas tell me and tell me how i can fix this mess please give me a response i and freaking out

Trophy of Grace says..
I know that this break up has to be super hard on you since you were together for two years. For him to all of a sudden break up with you and then to be with another girl so soon has to leave you feeling betrayed and used. I am sorry for what he has done to you. I know that you are hurting deeply. This is the time to keep your eyes on Jesus.

The first thing and most importantly is that you have to forgive your ex-boyfriend. You will need the help of the Holy Spirit for this. It is not easy and you will not be able to do this in your own strength. You will have to choose to forgive him every time you see him or hear about him and her until finally it does not bother you any more. Forgiveness is the first step to healing. If you do not forgive him then you will not be able to get over this. It will consume your mind and heart.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,” Matthew 5:44

You don’t need to go out of your way to talk to him or her. Just allow him to move on. You don’t have to be nasty or mean. If he greets you then respond kindly, but there is no need to go looking for him. He made his choice and you should respect his decision regardless if it was right or wrong. One of my favorite scriptures in the bible that brings me so much comfort is Romans 8:28. I remember this promise when I have hard times; when I am confused, get bad news, or when my life starts going a different direction then what I thought. It says,

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”

You have to hold on to the Lord promises. He does not lie to us. This situation will work out for your good. Trust our Lord. This is a time for you to draw closer to the Lord. If you are not already reading the Word daily then you need to. The Word of God will be the source of your strength, wisdom, and comfort. Look at this as an opportunity for you to find yourself in Christ Jesus. Consider that perhaps this relationship was not God’s will for your life.

Take this time to fall back in love with Jesus. Put on some good Christian praise and worship to lift that spirit of heaviness and depression off of you. Learn to praise our Lord no matter what is happening in your life. That is the way to breakthrough to victory. I promise you that this hurt will not last forever..Leave this situation in God’s hands. Don’t worry and meditate on it. Focus on forgiving him and moving on. Don’t devise plans and schemes to try to get back at him or win him back. Don’t do anything..just let it go.

May our Lord give you the determination you need to move on from this relationship and draw closer to Him.

We Broke Up Again, My Heart Is Broken

Anonymous comments: I love what you guys are doing, thank you for taking the time to help and encourage people in God's word over their lives.

I was hoping to get some help on a situation. 2 years ago I started going out with a boy who was quite immature and because of this and a series of disappointments I split up with him as I felt this was right and he was not really walking with God.

Afterwards he really discouraged me for about a year making me feel really uncomfortable in church and youth, which made me not want to go. I felt horrible within myself and although staying close to God I felt like I was nothing without him and that I truly loved him.

About 6 months ago he came around again confessing he did still like me - we waited a few months getting to know each other and praying for God’s grace and what He thinks on the situation. I was never happier to be going out with him again, everything seemed amazing and I was with the man I loved.

Yesterday he split up with me because we had different desires for life, I wanted to travel, and he felt called to our country which made things awkward. I don't know how to get over him as everything felt so right before. He has messed with my emotions so much and everyone tells me I can do better and to stay clear of him.

I just want to be with him again, I couldn't get him out of my head for about a year last time, and now I can see it being worse. I want God to deal with him but I want to move on, I find it so hard.

The world’s way would be to find a rebound relationship probably, I just need strength and a realization that he is not the one for me, please, do you have any words of encouragement?

Thanks so much!

Saved By Faith Comments: Thank you for your encouraging words regarding our site. I pray that God gives me the words to uplift you in your time of need, in dealing with this new breakup.

Studies and statistics have shown that females become more emotionally attached than guys. We are more susceptible to ‘feel’ that we have stronger feelings than we might have. Your recent break up sounds like a matter of different paths in life. lthough you both walk with God spiritually, your fleshly paths seem to be going in different directions.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to separate due to these differences. It might be easier to handle now rather than months or years from now. No matter how much we may joke about it, breaking up is hard to do. And even more, picking up the pieces and moving on is even harder.

2 Timothy 4:5
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

In the same relation of your feelings right now… the bible shows us that Paul's life and ministry was used to demonstrate to Timothy, and to other Christians who face suffering, failure and brokenness (aka all of us), the response of faith.

2 Timothy 4:16-18 tells a story of Paul’s feelings of loneliness and that death is certain. Despite his faithfulness and love, all those who had loved him and offered their support had now abandoned him -- "everyone deserted me".

2 Timothy 4:16-18
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Even with this hardship and feelings of abandonment, Paul’s triumph lies in his faith: "the Lord stood by me and gave me strength" (verse 17). Faith in the truth, beauty, and goodness of God’s word gave Paul all the companionship and consoling that he needed.

He isn't alone, abandoned, imprisoned. He's loved, saved, and soon to be made whole. He is not angry at those who dumped him; at those who betrayed him. He has no regrets or wishes for the way things were. Instead, he gives witness to his future and who his source of strength is.

Whatever the circumstance, the Lord is always by your side. Be headstrong and pray for His strength to mend you from your recent wounds. Press forward in your faith and love for our Heavenly Father and you will reap the many rewards of a true, everlasting relationship. One that is undeniable and yours forever.

I will pray for you.

Lovingly,

Saved By Faith


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Be the Most Beautiful Woman In the World

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost
which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body,
and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1Corinthians6:19-20.

Ladies, Have a desire in your hearts to put a smile on God's face each day,
He said in his word, that we were created for
His pleasure. I know it is hard to live in this world with so much distraction, but remember all things are possible.
Ladies, you can start by enhancing your beauty from within.

1. Start with the renewing of your heart. Draw near to Jesus and He will draw close to you.
2. Have love and contentment for others. Show empathy when needed.
3. Let your modesty and speech be your trademark.
4. Forgive, even if it hurts to do so, it will give you freedom.
5. Use the love of Jesus to love those that hurt you.
6. Send good thoughts toward others. It will come back to you.
7. Put a guard over your mouth.

Exercising the above and some that you can come up with, will be preserve and be seen by others and they will know
that you are a daughter of the 'Most High God'

I know you are told that, diamond, gold, and silver are 'a girl's best friend'
is not true, there are not your adornment.
A girl's best friend is her pleasant smiles, her gentle voice, her compassionate self and her determination to please God
with your beautiful self-that He created for His own pleasure.

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psalm 37; 4
He gives rewards when He finds pleasure in you.

Saying all of the above, does not mean that you should not keep your body in proper health and in good physical shape.
In honoring God with your body, you should avoid the things that will and can destroy it: for example, drug, alcohol, pornography etc.
Maintaining good health and good habits help your self -esteem and boost your confidence in your everyday relationship and walk with Jesus.
Balancing your speech, actions, and thoughts is the best way to serve Jesus and in so doing you will live your best life here on earth.

Written by: Conduit of Truth

Pt 2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

(Continued from posting 'I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her')

Anonymous responds..Well I didn't get to read this until me and him broke up guess God answered me ...I am very hurt and betrayed I found out he had sex 2x and made out with his ex with kids and cheated on me. I feel very hurt by this. Pray for me and God bless.

Trophy of Grace responds..

I know your hurt, but you're right, God did answer your prayer. He sees your pain and He knows the betrayal you feel. He hurts when you hurt.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose."

I want you to know that God has a plan for your life and a purpose. His plans for you is good not for evil or to harm you. You have got to learn to trust Him with your life and allow Him to be your Guide. He will guide you and lead you down the right path for your life, if you will allow Him to.

When we make decisions for our life on our own without seeking His counsel and direction we are bound to make a mess out of our situations. We can't see the future. We can't see the intent of people's hearts. However, God is all knowing, all powerful, and He is all present. When we put our life in His hand we can not go wrong.

If you want to learn to make better decisions for your life seek Wisdom. The wisdom that comes only from knowing the Word of God, Jesus Christ. His is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He came that we may have life and freedom. Not freedom to do what we want, but freedom from anything that would try to keep us in bondage or lead us to eternal death and seperation from Him.

Not only do we need Him because we need direction and wisdom, but because we are sinners. We are guilty of violating God's laws. When we sin it is against God that we sin. So we need salvation from God's wrath. That salvation is found through faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He dies for our sins.

Romans 10:9-10

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

If you have already accepted the Lord as your Savior then you are a new creation.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

As a new creation then you need to renew your mind by reading the Word of God which will give you wisdom and direction for your life. It will help restructure your thought process so that you can make decisions that will help you prosper and be successful.

Ever since I have surrendered my life to the Lord and daily reading His Word I found peace and hope. My life has been changed. I was mess, trust me.You can read my story (the short nicer version) http://weused2bu.%20blogspot.%20com/2008/05/tropy-of-graces-testimony.%20html

I know this was long..but I just want you to know that Jesus loves you and in trusting Him you don't have to settle for these fake lovers. Jesus is the Lover of your soul and He will never betray you or forsake you.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.

In Christ Love,

Trophy of Grace

** CONTINUED **
- I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

The Good-O-Meter

Together for 2 Yrs and I Can't Trust Him

QUESTION: HEY LADIES HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO SPEAK WELL HERE I GO

WELL THERE IS THIS I BEEN WITH FOR 2 YEARS ON AND OFF AND WE FINALLY ARE TRYIN TO GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE LAST TIME BUT HE DOESN'T TRUST ME AND I DNT TRUST HIM. WHEN WE TRY TO HOOK UP THERE'S ALWAYS A EXCUSE ABOUT HIM BEING BUSY. I'VE SEEN HIM TALK TO GIRLS AND GIVE HIS NUMBER OR TAKIN NUMBERS FROM THEM AND I'M GOIN THRU A LIL DOWN FALL BUT WHEN I CAN ALWAYS HELP HIM WHEN I CAN BUT I CAN'T SAY I CAN RELY ON HIM SO WHAT DO U THINK I SHOULD DO

ANSWER: Trust and communication is important in a relationship and it sounds like your relationship is lacking both. I know you’ve invested 2 years into something with him but I don’t think it’s healthy and sound. A couple of pointers that you should tell yourself everyday:

* You are a cherished treasure. (Deuteronomy 14:2) You are a wonderful creation in our Father’s eyes and should be blessed beyond measure. His intention is for His children to be filled with the Holy Spirit and happy. Strengthening your relationship with Christ will help accomplish this.

James 1:17-18
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13
“God has a wonderful plan for your life if you will only surrender your will to His.“

* God has designed someone to be with you and in His time, He will bring you together. It is so easy for us to react based on our emotions but be careful… emotions can be very deceiving! Pray and be patient. Allow God to place your intended partner in your life, a man that loves God and will love and honor you.

* Trust is pivotal in every relationship…family, friends and love. Without trust and communication, there is no foundation for that relationship. God intended us to have healthy, sound relationships with Godly people. People whom put God first, read the bible, and follow his commands. Establishing these kinds of friendships will have you realize day after day, how important trust and honesty is. You need uplifting relations! Friendships that draw near to God and praise Him… rejoice in His delights… and value you as you are.

Leviticus 19:11
"… Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.”

Hebrews 10:22
”let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water”

Deuteronomy 7:12
If you pay attention to these laws and are careful to follow them, then the LORD your God will keep his covenant of love with you, as he swore to your forefathers.

I hope that you take some time to yourself, get to know YOU again. Realize that you are so precious and deserve so much more than mistrust and deception. Pray. Draw closer to God. He will deliver you from this and bring you to a love that you will cherish forever.

James 4:8
Proverbs 3:5-6
1 Chronicles 16:34


With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

He Said I'm Ugly...

QUESTION: ok in 6th grade i met this boy... mi first boyfriend who treated me bad... ithought... he never wanted to be around me wit his friends n called me names but i relly like him.. he was my first kiss n so i thought at the time love.... we went on n off datin about a year... n then he just dumped me... i was heartbroken.... for nights i cried myself tosleep he hurt me that bad... i thought that this was the way all relationships are... i have garded my heart ever since... then next year this guy liked me so i let him do what he pleased.. i kissed him when he wanted me to n i let him fill me up... i was hurt n confused... i tryed to use him to get over this guy... i dated a many guys since him... once i made the biggest mistake n stayin wit a guy who beat on me... just becasue he made me feel beautiful... i dumped him when i couldnt take it n e more... i dated many guys since him...but i gaurged my heart not to get attached...i even got to the point where i didnt want a guy to tuch me... i wanted a boyfriend but i was afraid if i kissed him or somthing hed say i was wrong or i was ugly or not good enough... recently my first crush from 6th grade got back intouch wit me... he told me that he thought i was ugly back then so he dumped me... n he still thinks that... i dont no y but i give him so much power.... help... i told him it doesnt bother me but it does

ANSWER: I think you should take some time for yourself. Really get to know you and accept and love yourself exactly as you are. God created you as a beautiful treasure. In His eyes, you are more precious than anything on Earth. And that is something you should always remember. Surround yourself with positive friendships. I suggest you go on a “no boyfriend” fast and just take time to draw closer to the Lord. The word of God tells us that if we seek the things of God first… His righteousness, His peace, His direction, His comfort, His will for our life, His kingdom… everything else we want & desire will be given to us b/c as a result of seeking him, our desires will line up with His will for our life.

I would suggest that you reexamine your commitment to Him. He does not desire that you spend your time looking for love from ungodly men that are just going to use and abuse. You are a child of the most High God. Your body is the temple of God and is meant ONLY to be shared with the man that God has for you, your husband. If you keep on this path, you may end up pregnant, unequally yoked with some guy that’s never going to love and appreciate you or your child. You don’t need baby daddy drama. Focus on your studies. Forget about boys for now. Take this time to allow God to help you develop into a beautiful Godly woman, secure with herself & her faith because of what Christ Jesus has done for us.

James 4:8
Hebrews 10:22
1 Corinthians 3:16
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
Ephesians 5:3
Song of Solomon 1:15
Zechariah. 2:8

Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Love Potion #O

Written by: Daughter of The King

Weused2bu gets a lot of questions about relationship and that’s understandable because God created us to be relational beings. Of course he wants our relationship to Him to be first and foremost in our lives but he also wants us to have healthy fulfilling relationships with others especially our lifelong spouse. I have read the great responses you received to your relationship questions yet I know that some of you are having a hard time following the advice that has been given to you, especially if the advice was “cut him loose”. Do you wonder why it is so hard to let someone go who is bad for you? Do you wonder why women who are abused keep going back to their abuser? Besides the obvious answer that it is because of sin and/or rebellion there’s another explanation and it’s called Oxytocin.

Before I explain what Oxytocin is and what it does lets see what God says about male and female relationships:

Note: The Bible does not talk about dating only marriage. We think that dating is something that has always existed but it is an invention of the 20th century. The real purpose of dating is to help us select our future husband, back in Bible times you did not select your husband, your father did that for you. I’m going to write more about dating in a future article.

Matthew 19: 4-6 (The Message)
He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one…

Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Look at the words I’ve underlined; if you looked them up in the dictionary this is what you would find:

Bonded – To join securely, as with glue or cement.
Cleave – To adhere closely, to stay attached.

Isn’t that beautiful? God intended us to get married and bond with our husband in such a way that it would be as if we were just one-person super glued together. That’s where the Oxytocin comes in.

Oxytocin is a hormone that is released by the female brain during three very special events in a woman’s life: sexual activity, giving birth, and breastfeeding.
Scientist have studied this hormone and they have found that it causes women to emotionally bond to their sexual partner and to their babies, scientist have nicknamed it “the super glue hormone”; now that’s great news because that is exactly what God intended if the sexual partner is your husband. But if he’s not now you have a problem because you’re not just bonded to a man that is not committed to you but you also trust him because Oxytocin causes us to bond and trust the person we are sexually involved with.

Ladies let me sum this up; if you are sexually involved with a guy that you are dating you are making a big mistake (not to mention breaking God’s law) because this guy may be bad for you. He may be messing with drugs and other women or he may be mistreating you and you know you should let him go but you can’t and you think that you can’t because you love him but that’s not the case you’re just emotionally bonded to him, not in love. God intended this to happen but with your husband, in marriage only not in a dating relationship when you’re just getting to know the person.

So if you’re in a relationship that is not good for you (emotionally, spiritually or physically) realize that it’s the hormones in your brain telling you not to let go of him, not your heart. Remember you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13) and cut him loose.

He Wants Me To Become A Polygamist Pt2

Girls' Reply: thank you so much i will do my best to leave and find another place to stay and if you will please keep me in your prayers

1 Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the man
whose sin the LORD does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD "—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.

7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.

9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.

10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD's unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.

11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Psalm 32

Response: thanks. I needed that.

Lovingly,

Saved by Faith

Read Part 1 Now


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

He Wants Me To Become A Polygamist Pt1

QUESTION: k heres the thing i have a boyfriend and he wants me to be polygamist and i really dont believe in that and he doesn’t want to be with me if i am not that and i love him and if i do leave him i have no place to go i will be homeless what do i do i am so confused do i stay with him so i can have a place to stay or tell him that i do not believe that and move on and just be homeless please help me

ANSWER:
RUN AWAY FROM THIS SITUATION AND DON’T LOOK BACK!! Get away from this man. It sounds like he’s trying to take advantage of you because he knows that you have nowhere to go. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in this immoral sin.
You are not a piece of meat. Don’t allow you to be used and abused by men.

I realize that you may be scared b/c you have nowhere to go, but pray to God for help. The Lord knows your fears and he sees your tears. He will help you if you will humble yourself before Him.

Do you have any friends or family you can call that are willing to help you? I know you may not want to go to a shelter but you cannot stay in this situation. If you give into his request, you might find yourself deep into a situation that you might not be able to get out of so easily.

1 Corinthians 6:18 reads that we are to “flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”

Our body is a temple; a home for the Holy Spirit that lives within us. God doesn’t want us to be dirty minded and full of lust, but to be holy and clean. “Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:8)

So I plead with you, please don’t stay with him…


1 Corinthians 6:13-20
1 Thessalonians 4:1-10

We will keep you in our prayers.

Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

continued... He Wants Me To Become A Polygamist Pt2

Did I Do The Right Thing?

Question..Ok..i'll try to shorten up the story. Me and Chris dated twice before we got together the 3rd time. We just recently broke up like 3 days ago and dated a lil over 11 months. He would bring up my ex-boyfriends and try to get me not hanging out with my best friend. It took him 5 months to stop talking about one of my ex-boyfriends. During Christmas he was just an a**hole..to be blunt. There was a lot of good times but after 6 months I just didn't feel anything anymore. I didn't wanna throw our relationship away, I wanted to try to work things out. He was never abusive or anything, well sometimes it felt like it emotionally. After about 7 months I started acting like a complete b*t*h, again to be blunt, to get back at him and let him know how i felt. Then 3 days ago we got into a big argument and I finally said its over for good. I've broken up with him many times before but got back together the same day or the next. After I broke up with him he texted MY MOM at 1 in the MORNING trying to get me trouble. Now my question is..was that right of me? I feel I made the right decision and we both need it. I'm sorta needing someone, I don't know, telling me it was right. Ya know? Someone who doesn't know me or Chris. The last few nights have been rough cause thats when I just lay there and think. I haven't been able to fall asleep..and the only way I do go to sleep is if I make myself. I know its gonna be rough for the next few nights. Now all I'm asking is if you please just give me your honest opinion.
Best Wishes and God Bless!


Answer..I think that you are doing the right thing. It sounds like he had some trust issues. You don't need to be with someone who is so insecure. That is just going to cause you more problems. Be strong. The first couple of days are the hardest. You were together for awhile so your regular routine included him.

Take this time to focus on drawing closer to God. He is the one that wants to spend time with you. He has a wonderful plan for your life and has been knocking on the door of your heart for some time now. (Jeremiah 29:11)

He wants to guide you and lead you in your life. He longs to bless you above and beyond what you could ever imagine, if you will only trust Him.

So I encourage you to start seeking God for your life and I promise you that your life will be changed.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies