I Thought Christians Weren't Supposed To Judge People

Anonymous says...

I got a ??. My best friend & me are Christian. Im new and shes been in church for a long time. For a while now shes been judgin me or questionin if Im really into church. I am into church n stuff but Im not 'in ur face' about it like she is. Im not doin n e thing wrong but she swears I am cuz we dont see each other allot so she decided not to be my friend. Shes my bff and I love her I dont wanna lose her but I dont like how shes judgin me. I cant talk to her cuz she wont listen. she already made up her mind bout me so what I say dont matter.what should I do? I thought Christians werent supposed to judge people?

Beloved by Him said...

Hi, it’s Beloved by Him, in for Trophy of Grace, and I want to encourage you regarding your situation, because two Christian best friends have a common ground that friends in the world don’t have–the love of Jesus Christ. There’s a Michael W. Smith song that says “A friend’s a friend forever if the Lord’s the Lord of them.” That’s the perspective you are going to have to keep until things are resolved and your relationship is healed, which I know is God’s will for the two of you (Ps. 133:1, Eph. 4:2-3). It may require a lot of work, spiritually and emotionally, but there are times that the Lord calls us to lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13). In His eyes, there is no greater love we can show them, and if she means that much to you, then I pray that He pours His love for her into your heart, and gives you hope for this relationship (Rom. 5:5).

Unconditional love is going to be a critical part of the healing process, because “love covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8). If she has been harsh or faulty in her judgment of you, then you have to forgive her, not just for her sake, but for your own as well. God’s Word says that if we don’t forgive someone who sins against us, then He won’t forgive our sins (Matt. 6:14-15). You need to give her the same grace He gives you, which will bring you peace, and prevent bitterness towards her from taking root in your heart (Heb. 12:4-5). This also means being careful not to complain about her to your other friends (James 5:9), and not gossiping about her or the situation between the two of you (Prov. 26:22, James 4:11). Remember, love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things (I Cor. 13:7). Talking badly about her may make you feel better for a time, but ultimately poisons both your attitude towards her and the future of your friendship. Instead, give your hurt feelings and your frustrations over to the Lord, Who judges righteously, and yet found a way through Christ to give us His righteousness and heal us by the stripes He received (I Peter 2:23-24).

Once you have submitted your feelings about her to the Lord, it’s time to humble yourself before Him and ask Him to show you if you have done something to cause or contribute to this rift between you and her. Sometimes, we are not even aware of the sin in our lives, and we need to ask the Lord to help us understand where we are wrong (Psalm 19:13). This can be an unpleasant process, because most of us (myself included) don’t like to admit that we have let God and others down. But when we humble ourselves under His mighty hand, He will lift us up and even exalt us in due time (James 4:10, I Peter 5:6), as He mercifully makes us into “vessels for honor, sanctified, useful for the Master, prepared for every good work” (II Tim. 2:21). Go boldly to God and ask for His wisdom about where you might be missing the mark, and He will give you both the wisdom and the grace to make it right, without condemnation (Heb. 4:16, James 1:5). He will honor your willingness to be obedient, and you will have the confidence that you have allowed Him to search your heart and change anything that might not be pleasing to Him (Ps. 139:23-24).

The next step probably won’t be easy: You need to talk to try and talk to her, even if you think she won’t listen. We are commanded by Scripture to pursue peace with others, and that if we know someone has something against us, then we are to go to them and try to make it right ( Matt. 5:23-24, Rom. 12:18). This means that in addition to sharing your thoughts and feelings in a spirit of gentleness, you will have to afford her the opportunity to share hers as well. When this happens, pray for the mind of Christ to be active in you, so that you will be able to receive and discern any truth in what she is saying (I Cor. 2:15-16). If there is, remember that “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27: 5-6). It is a true friend that tells us how things really are, and not just what we want to hear.

This could be especially difficult for you, because you already feel that she is improperly judging your Christian walk. This may be true, especially if she is currently doing what she is accusing you of. That is the unrighteous judgment the Apostle Paul warned against in Romans 2:1-4. However, Christians are called to judge righteous judgment (John 7:24), which is using our God-given discernment that is in line with the will of God. Jesus used this type of judgment when He was here on earth (John 5:30, 8:16). It’s not a condemning attitude, intending to cause hurt or shame to a person. It’s the knowledge of God, applied by understanding and governed by the wisdom of His word. Without it, we couldn’t tell right from wrong. The purpose of this kind of judgment is loving correction, salvation, and restoration (Prov. 9:8, II Cor. 2:5-8, Jude 22-23). When another Christian rebukes us for something in our lives that is unrighteous, then it is our responsibility to receive it and not refuse it, because we know it’s for our own good (Ps. 141:5). If she is trying to get you to see something in your life that could be detrimental to your well-being and your Christian walk, then even if she doesn’t approach you perfectly, she still may truly be trying to help you.

It is my sincere hope that the two of you can be of one mind again, and enjoy a new level of closeness in your relationship. You both may have to accept things about the other person’s life that you don’t necessarily agree with, as long as those things don’t cause either one of you to stumble into sin (Rom. 14:13). Ultimately, though, the issue of your faith is between you and God (v.22). If the two of you decide that you can no longer be in fellowship, don’t give up praying for her and hoping that things will change in the future, because “a friend loves at all times” (Prov. 17:17) Here’s a powerful word for you to pray from the book of Romans,
“Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Rom. 15:5-6)
I pray that the Lord will give you His peace, and the faith to persevere, as you seek Him in this situation. Much love, sister.

P.S. Here's the song--

Michael W Smith- Friends

The Letter That Changed Me

Written by Tiffany Stuart

Cross Post from Ungrind

I sat in front of my computer about to do something I never imagined doing: write a letter to my molester.

A few days prior, my husband casually mentioned his upcoming business trip. I felt sick and angry inside when I heard where. Attached to this city name were memories from thirty-three years ago I’d rather forget.

I never told my parents what happened to me in second grade. Shame kept me quiet until I was in high school. I have no idea why, but one day I casually told a relative what happened. Maybe I needed to be heard and understood. I felt self-conscious sharing what I remembered, like I was making things up.

Not a single tear was cried over my abuse—not during, not after, not ever. When I told a few trusted friends about my past, I emotionally separated myself and told it as a “long, long time ago this happened to me” story. My lack of tears convinced me I was OK. But deep down, I knew better. Hearing a city name awoke something inside of me I buried alive decades earlier. Pain.

I knew I needed to get to the root of my pain. After a conversation with my family, I googled this guy’s full name. I cried what I now call my “death cry” with what I uncovered.

My memories were true.

I wasn’t crazy.

My worst fears realized: This multimillionaire—a repeated sex offender—spent his entire life molesting children! Nothing stopped him. His wealth spared him. And the worst part was I wasn’t his only victim. His track record ripped through state lines like a tornado and left devastation in the hearts of many young boys and girls.

Sorrow and outrage shook me to my core. I wanted to stand up for every child he had ever hurt. I also wanted to die. Now what? Clueless, I sobbed one minute and then walked around numb the next.

For some reason I needed to know if this monster was still alive, so I paid $13.95 to search site to find out. He was! Now in his early 80’s with health issues, he violated probation only a few years prior. Still a sick, sick man!

I had to make a decision. I couldn’t ignore my past any longer. I could either go after this creep once and for all—or let him go. Torn with emotions, I prayed, journaled, and talked with family and friends.

A few days later, I sat alone with my laptop and stared at a blank word document. Time to give this guy a piece of my mind. I prayed, took deep breaths, teared up, and started typing. At first I struggled to find words. What words are strong enough to describe what he did? None. After a page of sharing with him my experience and pain, I decided it was time to say I’m done. As I continued, I asked him hard questions. I even probed into what he might be thinking now as an old man about to meet his Maker. I told him what saved me from destroying myself: my faith in Jesus.

Something amazing happened as I kept writing.

I wrote words I never dreamed of writing. Words about forgiveness and love and the hope of heaven. The strangest feeling came over me as wrote out a salvation prayer and invited him to know my Healer. My heart soared with peace and joy. I felt more alive and full of God’s love than ever before. The weight of unforgiveness after all those years finally lifted.

The next day I sent the letter unsigned with no return address. It was finished. I was free! Who knew I could actually pen words of love and forgiveness to one of the most evil of men?

God did. He gets all the credit.

That day I witnessed a real miracle—a miracle in my heart. The healing power of forgiveness. God in action.

This experience taught me a couple truths I hope I never forget.

Never hold onto unforgiveness. It’s not worth it. Unforgiveness is a heavy yoke.

Forgiveness is hard to do—and sometimes takes decades (in my case)—but it brings freedom. Freedom to heal. Freedom to love.
No matter how bad the offense feels, I’m learning the best path is straight towards forgiveness. Lewis B. Smedes’s quote says it best: "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

For over thirty years, I was held captive by unforgiveness. Today I feel the difference. I’m lighter—not physically—but mentally and emotionally and spiritually.

Since this letter, I’ve thought over and over again about Jesus’ words as He hung dying on the cross. He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). How could Jesus just let these offenders of the hook after all they did to Him? His words make no sense. Did Jesus know something they didn’t? Did His heart soar with peace and joy as He spoke forgiveness? Even as Christ was dying, did He feel completely alive and full of love by releasing His offenders? I bet He did.

God is love! His ways are not our ways.

I also think about how Christ treated the criminal hanging next to Him. Jesus did not say, “It’s too late, buddy. Die without hope." Instead He said, “See you in paradise.” Not a cold shoulder, but a warm embrace.

Jesus showed us a different way of living. He lived out forgiveness in action. It’s taken me decades to really grasp the benefit of true forgiveness.

I’m thankful for the freedom I now feel with my childhood sexual abuse. I no longer hold unforgiveness in the dark corners of my heart. I no longer cringe inside when I heard that city name. Sure, that city will always have an ugly memory attached to it, but now it has been topped with God’s healing love. I choose to focus on that.

It's true with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). The letter I wrote is proof of that to me.

I Found Out He's Not a Virgin

Anonymous said... Hey there, I'm in a tough situation, needing some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together about 4 or 5 months. We love each other very very much and want to get to know everything about each other. We both grew up in Christian homes and still go to church. I have grown in my faith a lot; I'm a youth leader for grade 8 girls at my youth group and he has volunteered with children's ministry and is taking over the whole thing this fall! We haven't started doing devotions together but have agreed that we ought to start doing them together.
I'm very much in love with him, that is why I was concerned with how far he has gone in previous relationships. I found out VERY recently, like 2 days ago!! that he is not a virgin.

As a Christian girl I try my best to think of the man I'll marry and not to make mistakes that I'll regret later on. Part of me feels betrayed because I took such care in doing so, why didn't he?

Also I thought I knew him better than that. I figured he was pure and thought pretty much the same way I do.

I know for sure that I don't want to break up. The love I have for him is like nothing I've felt for anybody, and I don't want something like this to be the end of us.

Now I feel like I need time and space to get over it, but don't feel like he is willing to give it to me. He seems to not understand at all, and very closed off about it as far as, "It was my past, I'm over it, why aren't you?" It doesn't work that way for me. I do know that in general guys just want to get it overwith. I just wish he'd realize if he really means what he says (that he just wants me to be okay and get past this) then he'll have to wait for me to heal. This is a pretty big thing to me.

Everytime I look at him or he touches me I think of him doing something to another girl and it really hurts. If we ever do get married, which I sincerely hope we do, because he just seems so much like the one, then I don't want to have to deal with thinking of him doing stuff with another girl instead of staying pure for the girl he'll marry (he says he wants it to be me).
How can I get over this, I really want to but sincerely can't think of where and how to start.

Trophy of Gracesaid...
My dear sister you have to let this go. If you want to be with him and you see a future with this young man then leave the past alone. If he is trying to live a righteous, pure, and holy life now then don’t continue to chastise him for his past mistakes. If he has confessed his sins and repented of his ways then you have to forgive him just as God has forgiven you. Our Lord has pardoned his sin and forgiven his transgression. He has not stayed angry with him but has shown him mercy and compassion. He has treaded all of our sins underfoot and hurled our iniquities into the depths of the sea. We have to leave them there, not go fishing for them. You too have to be merciful and remember his sins no more. Remember that love covers a multitude of sins. (Micah 7:18-19, 1 Peter 4:8, Colossians 3:13)

The only way you can get over it is by choosing daily to let it go. Don’t meditate on the past, especially if you see that he is growing into a godly man. I totally understand that you feel betrayed and hurt because he has been with someone else. That’s tough..This is something that you have to take to the Lord. Ask Him to give you confirmation if this is the relationship that He wants you to be in. Is this the man for you? He will answer you I promise. You just have to listen to the Holy Spirit and don’t doubt that He will give you clear responses and direction. (James 1: 5-8)

I believe that you may be right to take a couple of days to meditate on the Word of God and seek God’s face about what you are feeling. Perhaps you both should take a couple of days to pray for one another about this. Take three days of just praying, reading the Word, and singing praises to the Lord without communicating with one another. Also, consider fasting during some of that time. Write and journal your prayers and supplications, see what the Spirit of God ministers to you. Afterwards meet up and share your experiences and what you learned.

Enclosing let me tell you that our biggest battles are usually in the mind. We have to battle all types of thoughts that the enemy will flood our minds with. It is our choice if we are going to listen to the tormenting thoughts or if we are going to listen to the Holy Spirit. If after praying and seeking the Lord you feel lead to be with this young man then you will need to bring every thought captive. Don’t allow yourself to start imagining all types of things. Meditate on the Word of God. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

You will be in my prayers sister..

Should I Forgive Others That Treat Me Wrong?

MySpace Friend writes..

Hello, it's me again. I have a question for u to ask so here i go. Lets say that I have a family member that I know most of my life and treats me bad, like not physical but emotional. I feel like I am not good enough. Even he says that I am not college material or I am not going to make it in school. I am enrolled as a full-time student to be become a RN so I took some honor classes while I was in high school the last four yrs. I was second in my class, involved in school events, never been in trouble in school and always called myself a bookworm because I study mostly everyday if i can, so "What kind of person treat me this way?" I pray about it many times and i forgive him but he keeps on say it when he gets mad at me for no reason. sometimes, i hurts to say. i don't know what to do? pray? God has a plan for everyone that i going to do well in the future?

Trophy of Grace responds

Don’t believe the lies that are being fed to you. If you apply yourself and diligently pursue your education you will achieve your goal. Don’t allow anyone to tell you different and hold you back with negative comments. They are meant to hold you back. If you believe these lies then you fulfill what has been spoken over you.

You remember what this scripture says now and always. God wants you to know this and believe it with all of your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The Lord has great things planned for your life. When we seek Him first, His will, and His way of doing things He will bless us above and beyond what we could ever ask Him for. You just have to believe what God’s Word says about you. Do not believe the words of those that persecute you.

There will be people that will put us down and say terrible things that are not true. That is when you have to allow the Word of God to rise up in your spirit and be the Truth that you receive no matter what.

Pray for this family member. Pray for God’s mercy on him. It is terrible what he is doing to you. He is obviously going through his own thing and needs someone to pray for him. So yes..pray for him with all of your heart.

The Lord wants us to pray for our enemies and those that persecute us because He does not want us to carry unforgiveness and bitterness in our hearts. When we can pray for God’s mercy and grace on our enemies our Lord accepts this sacrifice with so much joy. He knows that it is not easy to pray for those that are hurting us. Just think how He must have felt when they tortured Him and hung Him on that cross, but He still prayed for our heavenly Father to forgive them because they did not know what they were doing and to whom they were doing it.

We have to follow that example, but we can not do this in our strength. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can do it. It is by knowing the Word and having Jesus’ Spirit living in us that we have the power and ability to do all things that He has called us to do. He has called you to forgive and pray for your enemies. He will give you the ability to do it. Trust Him..

One last thing..If you are a Christian then you need to know who you are in Christ Jesus. Once you know who you are in Christ then you will be confident and courageous. Read this article:

Do You Really Know Who You Are?

Should They Be Friends for the Sake of the Child?

Anonymous said...
I need advice... I love my boyfriend very much but sometimes I feel like I can't handle the situation I'm in. My boyfriend has a son with another girl. Although we have been together for three years it still gets to me sometimes. I love his son and he cares a lot for me also but I don’t get along with his ex. I guess because she has already made up her mind that she doesn't like me and doesn't want anything to do with me it makes it uncomfortable my boyfriend around her. I get along with her whole immediate family but she is very manipulative and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings but her own. She has done some pretty bad things (in the beginning) to sabotage mine and my boyfriends relationship. Although she hasn't apologized for it I do forgive her and am ready to move on. I don’t have a problem with my boyfriend talking to her only if it concerns their son together. My boyfriend tells me that he has no feelings for her but with my past experiences tell me I can't be too careful. He asked me the other day, what would I do if they became friends? (They don't have much of a relationship right now) and what if she wanted to go out to lunch with him? That hurt when he said that and I thought that would be totally inappropriate. He says he wants to marry me so I figured if he was so serious about us that he shouldn’t put himself in situations where he can fall into her trap. I trust my boyfriend, I don’t trust her at all and a part of me is afraid he will allow her to take advantage of him. I guess I really want to know if there should be some line they shouldn’t cross or if I’m overreacting.

Response...
I do not see a problem with them being friends for the sake of the child. It is wonderful when parents can communicate amicably when discussing the upbringing of their children. It is much more productive. It is also less stressful for the parents and most importantly the child. However, I do think there should most definitely be reasonable boundaries between your boyfriend and his ex.
Going out to lunch or dinners together alone may be a door way for temptation. So I do not think that is a wise move. We are to run from anything that could possibly lead us to temptation. The best thing is that they communicate when they are either picking up or dropping off the child from visitation. They also should be able to communicate via phone between visits if necessary to discuss issues or concerns regarding the rearing of their child. There should definitely be open communication. However, you have to pray that your boyfriend has wisdom to cut the conversation if they steer off to other inappropriate topics.

I know that you are concerned about the past and this woman’s alleged manipulation tactics, but this is something that you are going to have intensely pray about. You have said that you have forgiven her, so then you have to let it go. Move on. Don’t meditate on the past. Perhaps you can call her and tell her that you do not wish to have any strife between you two for the sake of their child. Let her know that you would like to help them in any way possible.

If she doesn’t receive what you have to say. Then just leave it alone. Let him deal with her. Your job is to support your boyfriend and help with the child when he is with you. If you are planning to get married then you will become your husband’s helpmate.

Talk to him and let him know that you feel uncomfortable with them being too friendly. Assure him that you trust him, but that you are concerned that her motives are not completely innocent. Ask God to give you the words to speak to him when you address these issues. Be understanding and patient because he does have a reasonability to communicate with her if he wants to be included in the rearing of their child. The worse thing is when the father is torn between his girlfriend/wife and the mother of his kids. Whether he likes it or not he is responsible to help his ex.

If you are considering marrying this young man you are entering into this marriage knowing tha you are going to have baba mama drama. I hope that you are prepared. The only thing that can truly prepare you for the potential battle is the Word of God. You need to be prayed up and full of the Word of God. You see, the bible (Word of God) will give you comfort, direction, hope, and understanding. It will renew your mind and give you wisdom to handle your life God’s way and His way is always better and more fruitful. It is time to submit to Him and allow Him to become Lord of your life. He will make all of your crooked paths straight and help you on this journey through life.

He will never leave you alone without any hope. Even when things seem to stressful or the world seems to be caving in on your He will reassure you that you will be ok. He has your back. But you have to put your life in His hands.

You will see that when you start truly trusting Him and you find favor with him. He will put your enemies at your feet. I just read a scripture the other day that I loved. It is Proverbs 16:7 and it says, “When people’s lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them.” That is great isn’t it!!??

So seek first the kingdom of God and his way of doing things and you will see that all these others things He will take care of.

I will be praying for you sister.

Be blessed.

Love,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God visit this link

http://weused2bu.blogspot.com/2008/08/salvation.html

Forgive Him & Let it Go

denay said...
Hi this is my first time ever being on this site and I need advice bad i mean really bad I have been in a relationship with God EVERY since I was 12 and I am now 18.Well i have just gotten out of this relationship with my ex boyfriend he broke up with me we were going out for almost two years he was my first love.he broke up with me for another girl and this girl is very how can i say this freaky he is a virgin and now he goes with her . the bad thing about it is that he dumped me and the same day i saw him walking with her down the hall way he even went to the extreame of telling me that she was about to get married and after the chrismas brake they came back holding hands now that really hurt. Well anyway i need advice my sister and my friends keep telling me i should say hi to them or him when i see him well i did. and i think it kind of blew up in my face now i think he thinks that i want to go back with him. OK this is what happened today i saw him talking to this girl thats not his girl friend so i walked over and taped him on his shoulder and said hi was that a little to much and if so pleeeeeeeeas tell me and tell me how i can fix this mess please give me a response i and freaking out

Trophy of Grace says..
I know that this break up has to be super hard on you since you were together for two years. For him to all of a sudden break up with you and then to be with another girl so soon has to leave you feeling betrayed and used. I am sorry for what he has done to you. I know that you are hurting deeply. This is the time to keep your eyes on Jesus.

The first thing and most importantly is that you have to forgive your ex-boyfriend. You will need the help of the Holy Spirit for this. It is not easy and you will not be able to do this in your own strength. You will have to choose to forgive him every time you see him or hear about him and her until finally it does not bother you any more. Forgiveness is the first step to healing. If you do not forgive him then you will not be able to get over this. It will consume your mind and heart.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,” Matthew 5:44

You don’t need to go out of your way to talk to him or her. Just allow him to move on. You don’t have to be nasty or mean. If he greets you then respond kindly, but there is no need to go looking for him. He made his choice and you should respect his decision regardless if it was right or wrong. One of my favorite scriptures in the bible that brings me so much comfort is Romans 8:28. I remember this promise when I have hard times; when I am confused, get bad news, or when my life starts going a different direction then what I thought. It says,

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”

You have to hold on to the Lord promises. He does not lie to us. This situation will work out for your good. Trust our Lord. This is a time for you to draw closer to the Lord. If you are not already reading the Word daily then you need to. The Word of God will be the source of your strength, wisdom, and comfort. Look at this as an opportunity for you to find yourself in Christ Jesus. Consider that perhaps this relationship was not God’s will for your life.

Take this time to fall back in love with Jesus. Put on some good Christian praise and worship to lift that spirit of heaviness and depression off of you. Learn to praise our Lord no matter what is happening in your life. That is the way to breakthrough to victory. I promise you that this hurt will not last forever..Leave this situation in God’s hands. Don’t worry and meditate on it. Focus on forgiving him and moving on. Don’t devise plans and schemes to try to get back at him or win him back. Don’t do anything..just let it go.

May our Lord give you the determination you need to move on from this relationship and draw closer to Him.

My Ex Never Got Rid of the Indecent Pictures & Video of Me

Anonymous Wrote: Sister, I need your help and prayers. I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and in that year I also became a Christian. As a new believer, I did not listen to God as much as I should have. As a result, I ended up emailing my ex bf undesirable pictures and a video of me. It's been roughly a year since we broke up and we still occasionally talk. Recently I accidentally discovered a message he sent his friend about still having those files on his email and computer. I was terrified. I thought he had deleted them but I was deceived. How should I go about confronting him about it? Should I talk to him about it in person? How should I go about it? Please help me. I pray that God will erase my past sins and forgive my sinful deeds so that I made me made pure and innocent again.

Saved By Faith Replies:
Proverbs 5:21, “For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord.”

We know that God sees our heart, thoughts, and motives. He knows us from head to toe but in spite of that, God still says, “I will remember their sin no more.”
Bring your sins to Him and He will forgive AND forget.

“…and will not remember thy sins.” Isaiah 43:25.

“I will remember their sin no more.” Jeremiah 31:34.

“Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Hebrews 8:12.

If we’re saved, God has not only forgiven us of our sins but He’s also washed them in His own blood and has forgotten them. It is then upon us to forgive ourselves and not carry our sins around with us.

With that peace of mind, knowing how much our Lord loves us and how He’s forgiven us of our inequities and washed them away, we can now talk about your problem…

I think you should ask your ex to get rid of the pictures/videos. Don’t make it an argument or debate or heated discussion. Clearly let him know that you are a new person and would like him to respect the person you are NOW and delete the files. If he chooses to keep them then there’s nothing you can do; at least you made an effort to speak to him. At the end of the day, you know you are a new person in Christ. You know that God has forgiven you for your past indiscretions. Your past isn’t going to disappear. And might, at times, come back to haunt you. But it’s up to you to rise above that and remember that you brought your sins to God and ARE a new person in Christ!!!

I will pray for you as well.

Lovingly,

Saved By Faith

I'm Sorry

Written by: Blessed and Highly Favored

I’m Sorry:

I always argued with you.
I never listened to you.
I wasted my potential on immediate gratification.
I gave away the precious things I thought as common.
I held on to my anger.
I didn’t forgive.
I let fear rule me.
I couldn’t think further than the next ten minutes.
I used you.
I didn’t value you.
I’m always quick to criticize.
I stomped all over your heart.
I made you feel uncertain and worthless.
I thought I could find my worth and identity in a man.
I loved you with conditions.
I always fall short.
I never think about anyone other than myself.
I’m selfish.
I’m prideful.
I wasn’t there when you needed me.
I thought you needed a friend when what you really needed a parent.
I never told you that you were the best thing in my life.
I let you raise yourself.
I wasn’t strict enough.
I let other things get in the way of us.
I let the little things slide.
I never told you about G-d, and just let you figure things out on your own.
I wanted to spend time with my friends than spend time with you doing things that you wanted to do.
I haven’t told you in a long time how precious and valuable you are to me. And that if you were to go away and leave me, my heart would break and I would cry for your return.
I got lost and became something I never wanted to be.

Please forgive me. I’m sorry and I need a second chance. Jesus has come into my heart and I’ve become a Born Again mom. I want to start all over again. Please let me into your life and let me love you the way the Lord wants me to love you; totally, completely, entirely. I will not give you up to the world to raise you because all it can provide to you is a slow death. And Jesus is all about life. Let me in please. I love you.

Mom

In this Christmas season, let us remember it was not Jesus as a baby who paid the price of our salvation, but a grown man who made the decision to give up His life for ours. Remember His Love, and allow yourself the vulnerability to love tenaciously. Merry Christmas.

"Do Over!"

Cross Post from Consecrated To Him

Written By: Trophy of Grace

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23

Recently I have been thinking about how many believers allow themselves to be tormented by feelings of guilt and condemnation when they sin and fall short of our God’s glorious standard. They get so down on their selves when they realize that they are still susceptible to sin. We must remember that we are going to make mistakes as long as we are here in these sinful bodies living in this world full of sin and temptation.

Satan and his demonic forces are determined to keep us bogged down under feelings of condemnation and guilt when we sin. These forces immediately try to attack our minds with negatives thoughts like..

“Do you think God is really going to keep forgiving you when you’re always messing up.”

“Real Christians would never say or do that. You’re not a real Christian.”

“See you’re not good enough, smart enough, or know enough for God to use you. You can’t even stop sinning.”

I seriously doubt that I am the only one that enemy attacks with thoughts like the ones above. I know this because the Word of God says that Satan is the accuser of the brethren. (Revelation 12:10) These accusing thoughts and words are straight from the pits of hell. The Accuser wants us to have a “woe is me” attitude and give up. He knows that if we are busy beating ourselves up, feeling guilty, condemned, and unworthy we will not want to enter God’s presence to receive His forgiveness, mercy, and grace when we need it most. We will be bound by these emotions, unable to be used by our Lord.

Instead of sitting and meditating on our mistakes and our shortcomings we need to remember what 1 John 2: 1-2 says.

“My little children, I am telling you this so that you will stay away from sin. But if you sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. His name is Jesus Christ, the one who is all that is good and who pleases God completely.”

You see our Heavenly Father knows that we are not perfect and that we will sin, so He has given us Jesus Christ to be our Advocate. So we can go boldly before the throne to ask forgiveness and healing. Our joy and peace will be restored because we know that all is well between us and our God.

I remember when we were kids we used to love playing kickball. For those of you that don’t know kickball, it is a mixture of baseball and dodge ball, only the ball is much bigger and softer and you kick the ball. When the pitcher rolls the ball if you miss it or kicked a foul everyone would yell “BALL!” or “FOUL!”, “DO OVER!” You then were given another try, a ‘Do Over’ to kick the ball as far as you could.

That is how it is when we fall short of God’s glorious standard and sin. As followers of Christ Jesus we are trying to live each day pleasing to God, avoiding sin, but sometimes we just miss it and mess up. But if we confess our sin and repent He is faithful to let us try again. So rebuke those negative thoughts and reject that “woe is me” attitude and remember that our Advocate, Jesus Christ gives us ‘Do Overs’. Thank God for that!


P.S.
I suggest also reading Don’t Let Sin Control You

Beware Of Anger!

Cross Post From Consecrated To Him
Written By: Trophy of Grace


BEWARE OF ANGER! When we have been hurt, offended, gossiped on, betrayed, or taken advantage of we must not allow ourselves to be consumed by anger. Anger is determined to take over all of our emotions and hinder our thinking provoking us to meditate on the offense over and over again.

It’s a trap! Don’t meditate on the offense!

By constantly remembering the offense we are feeding the anger and prolonging forgiveness and healing. We need to learn to choose to forgive and leave the offense and the offender in God’s hands. Believe me; I know it is easier said than done especially when it hits close to the heart. However, the Word of God tells us that if we do not forgive our offenders than God will not forgive us either. We are also commanded to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger in our lives.

“Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who have sinned against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.” (Matthew 6:15)

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)

I am not saying don’t get angry. There will be times that we all get angry. We just can not allow the anger to overcome us. So what do we do when we have been hurt? How do we not allow anger not to consume us? Below are just some suggestions:

Ø Be lead by the Spirit. Don’t allow your fleshy emotions to take over your mind. Remember there are principalities in the spiritual realm wanting to agitate the situation more and could even be the influence provoking it. We must keep in mind that we are constantly in a spiritual battle.
Ø Control your tongue. Don’t be loose with the lips saying things that you will regret. I know my first reaction is to want to come out of my mouth and start verbally retaliating. I feel the need to defend myself with my tongue. This is not the answer! It will only help to quickly escalate the conflict.
Ø Do not hesitate, immediately begin to pray! Ask God to help keep a cover over your mouth until the Holy Spirit has helped you get control over your emotions. Then try to resolve the situation amicably, in love and with patience.
Ø If your offender is unreasonable and does not care to resolve the conflict then you have got to let it go and leave it in God’s hands. Remember that God is our vindicator. There is no reason to defend yourself or retaliate in anger, trust our Lord to work on both of your hearts and forgive the person right away for your own good.
Ø Refresh yourself by playing some praise and worship music so that you can get your spirit and mind back on the Lord and off the offense. It’s hard to be angry when you are worshipping God.

Lord, we thank you that through the power of the Holy Spirit we can forgive quickly and not allow anger to have its way with our emotions. We pray that You would have mercy on our offenders and draw them closer to You. In Jesus name…Amen.

Healing From Sexual Abuse

Written by: Blessed & Highly Favored

A Continuation of Blessed & Highly Favored's Testimony: Locked Up Memories

As I wrote the other week, the beginning of the healing from my past was to forgive the person who abused me. I want to clarify a couple of points.

#1. Why I didn’t tell my mother before she died?

Really, what would be the point? She was going through chemo, radiation and every known treatment for leukemia. I never wrestled with the decision. The Lord led me to be merciful to her. It was more important for her to be in a recovery frame of mind, rather than burden her again with the bad choices she had made in the past. It would be like beating a dead horse. And besides, the love of our Lord Jesus Christ had already removed the pain and stigma of being sexually and physically abused. Had she not been sick, perhaps I would have talked to her about it, but I would have definitely prayed hard about how to approach her.

#2. Once The Lord showed you to forgive your father, why didn’t you just do it?

Being loved without condition, no strings attached was new to me. Sometimes, people just do it and get over it. I had to read and read and read about forgiveness. I had to process with my mind what my heart didn’t want to do. For years, I had built up walls to protect myself, and it was only by the Holy Spirit that I was able to achieve this important milestone. Again, my flesh did not want to forgive, but my spirit was willing. And what you feed, will lead.

#3. So how do you know that you’re all over it?

It is my greatest wish, desire, that when I meet Jesus He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Your Mom…And your Dad have been waiting for this moment.” That’s when I knew I was healed and I could move on.

#4. Did you ever tell your husband?

I told him everything; every last detail between me and my family. And, he is still the only person to who I am completely, totally, brutally honest with. I NEVER lie to him or even try to shade the truth. To make him pay for the actions of another would be infantile and destructive. I don’t live in the land of woulda, coulda, shoulda. He is the best thing to happen to me and after 21 years of marriage, I adore him more every day. He’s a real man, who knows who he is and showers his affections on me without restraint. He is the husband other women wish they had, and I know it.

#5. I need help and I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done, what has been done to me, and I’ve been silent all these years, never trusting anyone with this mega-personal information.

There are a lot of Christian Counselors who deal with this all the time. I’m afraid most churches are ill equipped with counselors who know how this affects an individual and every aspect of their life. But, that is also why we are here http://www.weused2bu.com/. We won’t try to give you some “feel good” answer and leave you hanging. We search The Word and pray about our posts and articles. We know you have come here to see real life, up close and personal things that never get talked about. We’re here because G-d has called us. We understand the heavy responsibility He has given us, and we NEVER want to EVER take it lightly. We have Him to answer to daily.

Pt 3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

(Continued from posting 'I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her')

Anonymous Responds..

Well he says he made a big mistake. My family don't want me taking him back. If I do I get kicked out of my home. I feel bad b.c what if he is sincerely sorry? I told him to prove himself and his love and he doesn't know how. I said well apolizing to them is a start. He told me I prayed for the first time in a long time to get you back. I was like ya did cuz I pray all the time and so ....yeah but I don't know if he still trys to get with her too ya know :) It's hard to tell so...I know I am in love with the guy but its been hard cuz my family is all GRAAA at me b.c they said I would be stupid to take him back so for now me and him are just waiting it out and seeing how things go...he still wants to get back but I think he needs to show how much he loves me and not just say it WHAT DO YOU THINK!? thanks

Trophy of Grace Responds

I know that this is all so confusing to you but you have to leave this guy be. You prayed about this and God has showed you in more ways than one now that this is not for you. Do not reject what God is telling you. When God warns us and tries to lead us down a different path than the one we want we should not despise His leading. Do what He tells you. He knows what's best. He will never lead you wrong. Trust Him and lay down your will for your life and ask Him for His will.

I've told you how I feel. I agree with your family. Leave him alone. I think that you are his rebound. He may just not want to be alone because he is used to being with someone. He was with this girl for 5 years. That's a long time. You may be his fall back. Sometimes people think that if they get involved with someone else that it will help them get over their ex.

Ask God to give you strength and courage to accept His will and to move on with your life. Ask him to take away the lust (cause you may not know it now, but it's not love) that you have for him.

I will still be praying for you.
__________________________________________________________________

Anonymous responds..

well thanks you ...it is hard for me to move on because i always have a tendancy to rebound everytime....thats not good either but i think i do love him but i did have lust for him too but thanks you for praying i am glad your here for me too :)

Trophy of Grace says..

You are welcome. We are here for you no matter you chose to do. We are not here to pass judgement or to critize you. Jesus has put a love in hearts to young women. We have desire to help try to guide and lead you down the right path.

God bless you young sister,

xoxo's Trophy of Grace

Anonymous says..

well thanks i will continue to talk to ya'll i am so lucky i came across this

** CONTINUED **
- I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

How Do I Tell Him That I Cheated?

Anonymous Asked: I need advice... I have been with my boyfriend over two year and in the past I have cheated on him twice. He has never cheated on me (that I know of) but I was upset at the fact that his ex would try to ruin our relationship and how he would say a lot to defend her.

I had trust issues because of that since the beginning of our relationship. We argued a lot and I found out he was hiding pornography behind my back. I felt betrayed and didn’t know what else he was hiding from me. We would break up for a couple weeks and then get back together again.

Both of the times that I cheated was while we weren't together and with guys I didn't know. The last time I cheated on him was over a year ago and since then our relationship has improved greatly because we have chosen to live obediently for the Lord.

Although we aren't rushing into marriage I feel that our relationship is heading in that direction but I feel a heavy burden knowing what I've done.

Should I confess to my boyfriend what I did and hope he forgives me? Or is it better to just move forward. I know that I cheated out of stupidity. I was trying to live my life without God and was out partying and drinking. It's a life I no longer desire and something I want to forget.

Reply: I think that technically, since you guys weren’t together during these actions, it’s not considered cheating. But at the same time, it’s something you’ve kept secret from him. Knowing your relationship is headed towards marriage, you want to know that the both of you are entering it with an open, honest, and trustful bond, just as you want your premarital relationship to be. God does not intend for us to harbor any feelings of guilt or shame. We must be honest in all facets of our lives... honest to the Lord; honest to ourselves; honest to others.

Deuteronomy 25:13-16
13 Do not have two differing weights in your bag—one heavy, one light. 14 Do not have two differing measures in your house—one large, one small. 15 You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 16 For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.

Let your boyfriend know about the time spent while you were broken up. Considering you were not together at the time, he should be forgiving. It might be difficult for him to handle at first so please be patient.

You might also want to look into couples classes through your church. Some churches have premarital classes that help form stronger bonds, clarify the roles and responsibilities of marriage and help you better understand the commitment required for this kind of union. This will help solidify your marriage.

I will pray for the Lord to give you the words to speak to your boyfriend and for him to have a loving and forgiving heart.

With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


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Blessed & Highly Favored Testimony: Locked Up Memories

This article is for mature audience; Graphic in nature; Not for the weak or judgemental

Written by: Blessed & Highly Favored

My mother died four years ago and I’m still having a hard time going through her stuff. In fact, there are boxes in my possession that I haven’t gone through since March of 2004. The boxes are full of papers, pictures, letters, etc.

I really loved my mother and I miss her terribly. I know she’s in heaven and I’ll just have to wait to see her again.

Now, my father…I hated him. He molested me for years as a child, forcing me to perform oral sex on him, and fondled every part of my body. He made me fear him, fear my feelings, and sowed the seeds of distrust. I didn’t know what love was, only that I was exploited for his pleasure. And I never told my mother. I thought I was the one who was being bad, almost asking to be abused. As so this is how a child thinks.

He was a violent alcoholic and began to dabble in marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, peyote and coke. When he was not beating my mother like a man he was ripping up her homework (she was going to college before laptops, and everything was on paper-term papers, math equations, homework, etc.). In front of her, he would tear her work into little squares and then burn it. All the while, he would be saying, “You think you’re better than me? Smarter than me? I’ll show you. You’re nothing. Nothing.” And she would sit there and watch months of hard work disappear before her eyes, while sobbing and pleading for him to stop. And he wouldn’t. He enjoyed watching her suffer and this torture was a prelude to the physical abuse to come later that evening. He was one self absorbed man with an inferiority complex.

Now his aggression wasn’t only vented on my mother and our family (me, a younger sister and brother), but he fought with everybody. He carried a huge mountain-sized chip on his shoulder and liked to fight. His many bar fights and drunken driving accidents landed him in the hospital too many times to remember, as well as being in jail. We had no money because he had to pay the bail bondsman, lawyers, hospitals, new cars, etc., and all this on a heavy equipment operator’s wages. When he wasn’t incurring the usual alcoholic’s expenses, he was buying rounds for his buddies or gambling his pay away. Of course his fun was more important than feeding or clothing his family. More times than I wish to remember was going to the laundry-mat to scour the washing machines and dryers for loose change to buy milk and bread. It takes an awfully small man to consider the opinions of his friends rather than provide for the welfare of his family.

So amid the drug abuse from both parents, (my Mom now took prescription drugs to handle her depression which led to her suicide attempts landing her in the psyche lock-up for months) violence and alcoholism, I thought that surely there had been a mistake @ the hospital when I was born. I did not think or act like my family. I felt like an alien, and decided at the ripe old age of 11, I was going to throw myself into school and NEVER DO DRUGS or ALCOHOL because look how stupid it makes you act.

Years go by; I went to college and was living in a little town in Northern California. I was at work and I got a call from my brother. He told me that my father had died in a car accident…his fault, drunk driving. Evidently he was racing down a street with a curve to the left. He didn’t make it, hit the curb, flipped 3 times and landed in the front yard of his brothers’ friends’ house wrapped around a palm tree. He was moving back to his mother’s house, with all his personal belongings in the back of the car, including a 20” TV. When the car went airborne, the TV flipped, shearing his head in half. He died instantly. Here he was 51 years old and still acting like a punk, and finally all his past caught up with him.

I caught a flight to LA with my sister. My brother met me at the gate while my mother waited in the car. After we picked up the bags, we got to the car and there was my mother, wailing and crying her eyes out. What? Grieving? Grieving for a man who beat you like a man, made you feel like nothing, played around on you and left you with kids with nothing to feed them? I was very angry at her for shedding a single tear for such a monster.


I was glad he was dead. Glad he put me out of his and my misery. How fitting he would die in the manner which he brought us so much pain and violence.

I felt nothing; nothing but a sense of urgency to get that waste of skin into a coffin as quickly as possible and under dirt. It was as if a bug had been killed: One less monster sucking up air.

At the funeral, our tradition is to have the casket lowered into the ground and those in attendance throw handfuls of dirt onto the casket as a means to say good-bye. My heart was so cold and steely, if I could have driven a dump truck full of dirt, I would have driven it to the cemetery and dumped the load on his casket. Then, I would have taken a load of cement, and poured all of it to show those attending how intense the hatred seethed in my heart. His selfishness and perversity robbed me of a precious, personal gift G-d gave me to share with His chosen.

And because of this anger, I became cynical, emotionally removed from any intimacy, and had absolutely no desire whatsoever to EVER GET MARRIED. I became a player, using men as personal entertainment, not caring about them at all. All I cared about was MY PLEASURE WITHOUT COMMITMENT, and the freedom to have as many as I could, whenever I felt like it.

About 2 years after my fathers’ death, the Lord came into my life big time. The first thing He dealt with me was forgiveness. He had forgiven me of all my sins I had committed, and now I was to exercise that same process to others. He dealt with me about my father.

I argued with Him about forgiving him. How could I forgive the very man who was suppose to have loved me and protected me from the very slime he had become? How could I forgive the very man who violated me?
And made me do shameful acts for his perverse pleasure? I said, “No G-d! And I hope he’s in hell burning forever for what he did to me, my mother and my family. Besides, he was dead…how could I forgive a dead man?”

G-d reminded me that Jesus went to the cross for all of our sins: my fathers’ sins, all of them. Although I had been scarred by his actions, the love of G-d and the power of forgiveness was the first step of my healing. But I had to take the first step in allowing G-d to open up my heart and start peeling away the scar tissue that had been there for so long. He revealed to me if I continued to hold on to this hate and bitterness, I would have essentially placed my pain and suffering beyond the cross, making the death of Jesus meaningless.

Was I above Jesus? No. Was my abuse worse than the humiliation and torture endured by Jesus? No.

I could not hold on to what was destroying me. I had to lay it down at the feet of Jesus, and walk away. It didn’t matter whether he was dead or alive, the cancer of unforgiveness was killing me affecting every part of me and I needed to change.

It took awhile for me to lay it all down. And three years after the death of my father, I mourned his loss. It was 30 years after the fact that I could even talk about my father’s abuse. Now, I talk about it all the time. Satan wants us to feel shame, and continue to isolate ourselves; Don’t fall into the trap.

If you have been abused, it’s vital to get help and to report it no matter who it is. It took me 30 YEARS TO TALK ABOUT THIS. Now, I don’t care who knows because I understand who I am in Christ; the shame has been removed, and I AM FREE. Praise Him and His Holiness which reigns forever and ever. I am a daughter of the most High G-d, made in His image and free of my past, full of mercy and compassion. Be free, NOW!!!

Everything Happens for A Reason

MySpacer Writes: I have belived everything happens for a reason my whole life... if I wouldn't have went with my ex to the lake for his birthday and ended up being ditched by him, I would never have meet the guy I like right now. But why did I meet him if all we do now is argue??? I think it's me that starts it. I want to call him and apologize for the way I have been acting but I don't know what to say to let him know that I really do like him and that I am really sorry for everything.

Response:Your are right..Everything that happens in our life does happen for a reason.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Nothing happens that God did not know was going to happen to us. Even if God was not the one who caused it to happen, He may allow certain things for reasons sometimes that we will never know or understand until we stand before Him one day.

Regarding this relationship..Hooking up with someone too soon after a break up can be disastrous because we may be on the rebound. It is not good to enter into a new relationship when we haven’t had time to heal from our previous one. A lot of times we are not really over our ex and we hook up with the next person just using them as a temporary replacement. You may really like this new guy, but you may need to give yourself some space and try being alone for awhile.

Before you go to apologize to him, take a moment close your eyes and pray. Ask God to show you if you should even be in this relationship. You see God is all knowing. He can give you insight and wisdom into your situation so that you can be lead by Him to make the right decision for your life. Also, you want to ask God for His will to be done, not yours. It is always better for His will to be done in our lives because He knows what’s best for us and can prevent us from trouble that we are unable to see or predict.

Then ask God to give you the words to speak to this young man and to touch his heart with understanding. Then go and apologize for how you have been acting. You will see that if you trust God to help you and you allow Him to lead you, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.

Allow God to lead you..

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."(Isaiah 42:16)

Put your trust in Him..

As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame." (Romans 10:11)

He will help you..

This is what the LORD says-- He who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you... (Isaiah 44:2)

I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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What Do You Do When You're Talked About? Pt2

Continued from: What Do You Do When You’re Talked About?

Anonymous Replies..nahh i think im just gunna beat her up :]

Answer.. Ok..Then you will be the one who will end up in jail with a charge for battery. The measure that you deal with people will be dealt back to you. We ALWAYS reap what we sow and what goes around comes around. So if you feel that you need to fight her because she wronged you and you can't be merciful enough to forgive her; then the day will come that you will wrong someone and they will not be merciful and forgiving to you. They will want to fight you.

Leave it alone..enough damage as been done.

Trophy of Grace


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What Do You Do When You're Talked About?

Anonymous Asks.. What do you do when a someone goes and tells someone something that she wasnt supposed to.

Answer..Nothing..What can you do? People are going to talk. We need to be careful who we tell our business to. A gossip goes around telling secrets,so don’t hang around with chatterers. (proverbs 20:19)

Just forgive her and let it go. Pray for her. We are suppose pray for our enemies. Jesus said, "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you".

We must pray for our enemies and learn to forgive them quickly. Unforgiveness in our hearts will only turn into bitterness and resentment. It is ok to be angry and not sin. We will reap what we sow so remember that we are only hurting ourselves when we try to look for ways to get back at someone. It is best to allow God to deal with these individuals personally. All we have to do is talk to God about the hurt and the offense and trust Him to handle the situation.

As we begin to pray for those that persecute us God will begin to change our hearts towards these people. We will to learn to react in love towards them and we will have peace knowing that God protects us.I will be praying for you to make the right decision and forgive this qirl quickly.

Here are some scriptures you can read:

Matthew 5:44-48, Psalm 44:4-7, Psalm 23:5

Trophy of Grace

CONTINUED: What Do You Do When You're Talked About Pt2

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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The Case Of The Missing Ring

Situation: im living with my fiance and his parents. they drink vodka and get druk every night. his dad doesnt bother me at all. he is awsome. his mom i cant stand. last night when i was in the shower my engagment ring went missing. i left it on the counter while i showered and when i got out it was gone. the only person that came in was her. i thouht maybe it got knocked down. i searched the whole house and even in the sink drain trap. he tells me to ignore her and he will get me a new ring but i just want to scream at her. we woke her up and asked her what she did with it and she called us names for accusing her of taking it but we know she did it.

Response: I’m sorry to hear that you lost your engagement ring. The thought that your mother in law could have stolen it is just terrible. I’m sure you feel betrayed and angry. Hopefully it turns up. If it does not there is really no point in arguing or accusing your mother in law. It is only going to cause more problems and make your living situation even more stressful. This is one of those situations where you just have to “let it go”. I know that it seems easier said than done, but if in fact your mother in law did steal it, what can you really do about it. Chances are she will not admit it. At least your fiancé has offered to buy you a new one.

In the past when I have had something stolen from me my initial reaction is anger, but then I cool down and I say to myself, “They must have needed it more than me? So they can just have it. God will bless me with a new one.” Then I quickly forgive because getting angry or trying to get even takes too much energy and it will only make the situation worse.

Here are scriptures that help me when I have been hurt or offended by someone.

I am reminded that I need to forgive my offender.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

“But if you do not forgive people their offenses, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” (Matthew 6:15)

I need to forgive and forget.

“Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:17)

I do not need to plan revenge.

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set while you are still angry. (Ephesians 4:26)

I believe your problems go so much further than the lost engagement ring. It sounds like you are living in a very destructive household. I would suggest that move out of that house as soon as possible; even if that means that you can not move back in with your fiancé until you are married with your own place. That is not a healthy home for your relationship to grow and I am sure that your fiancé feels some what caught in the middle of you and his mother.

Pray about it and seek God’s will about the entire situation you will see that He will give you the direction and wisdom you need to make the right decision.

I will be praying for you and that entire household.

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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You Are Forgiven!

Have you ever beat yourself up for something you’ve done? Ever remember a past experience and say, “I wish I hadn’t done that!” or asked yourself, “What if?” Are you meditating on your past sins (lying, alcohol, drugs, premarital sex, etc.). There may even be people who talk about the old you. I know that hurts. You do not have to be under condemnation. One very important thing we must remember as Christians is that God has forgiven us for our sins when we excepted Jesus Christ as your Savior. Sometimes we may fall but continue to lay your wrongdoings down at His feet and ask for his mercy and our Merciful Lord will give the gift of forgiveness! Look at the scriptures below:

Psalm 79:9
Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake.

Psalm 65:3
When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions.

Jeremiah 33:8
I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.

God gave his only begotten son for us. We are made right with God by Jesus Christ’s suffering and death. And His resurrection was God's seal of approval of the fact that His precious blood was sufficient to pay for our sins. You have peace with your Creator! You have found everlasting life! Always remember, God will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). He has brought you this far and He will complete the wonderful work He has begun in you. God knows your every thought, your every care and your deepest concerns. Your concerns will fade if you believe, trust and honor Him.

Continue your journey with Christian values. Always to live life in a godly manner, making Him #1 in your life. (Titus 2:11-13)


Please take a moment and read Psalm 103:8-18 & 1 Corinthians 10:13

Saved By Faith

Happy moment, Praise God
Difficult moments, Seek God
Quiet moments, Worship God
Painful moments, Trust God
Every moment, Thank God
(excerpt from ‘Company You Keep’)

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He's Back, What Do I Do?

Strongatheart Asked... Last summer I went out with this guy and we were close but then he broke it off in a really mean way. Now I have a boyfriend, who I'm not so sure about and I saw that guy the other night and we had fun. It was like nothing had ever happened and he even apologized. Now I can't stop thinking about him and I don't know what to think. I'm very confused about everything. Have any advice on the situation?


Answer... Being in a relationship is serious and should not be taken lightly. A relationship is an agreement between you and another person to support each other emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. In my own experience in situations like this, I realized that it was an opportunity for me to forgive and move on.

Running into an ex is always a doozy because old emotions usually stir up. You remember the good times you had and picture yourself back in that place. But you have to remember that relationship took its path and you’ve moved forward since then. Consider your past relationship(s) as “lessons learned.” What did you learn about yourself from the relationship? As far as your ex… because it had ended on a sour note, you should consider his apology closure for you. One of God’s blessings is forgiveness and He’s given you the opportunity to forgive and forget. Because God forgives us even when we’ve ignored Him, we should forgive others. God gave you the opportunity to see him again in order to forgive him.

• Accept the apology
• Appreciate the friendship you had
• Know that things aren’t left on a sour note now (closure)
• Remember what you’ve learned about yourself through this and use it for future friendships

Something you shouldn’t forget to take into consideration is that the decisions you make not only affect you but they affect the people around you as well. If you seek God and his will for your life first, he’ll send the right person for you. (Matthew 6:33) Pray for clarity - for a clear mind and heart, as we will pray for you too.

Saved By Faith

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