He's Dating My Big Sister's BFF Now

Anonymous says..

Hi guys, i just came across this sight, not sure if this is the right place to ask but i need some advice.
Im 21, have been a christian since i was 6 years old, when i was 18 i met a guy at youth club in church, he was a christian but wasn't living his life right, we got to know eachother for six months and he sorted himself out with God then we started dating. We fell in love and had a great relationship. My family loved him and everything was perfect.
during this time he developed as a christian and a person, getting himself a job and sorting out his life. A year and a half into the relationship i made a stupid decision and ended things cuz he got quite suffocating. We are part of the same church/youth group etc and saw eachother regularly. I broke his heart and he struggled to cope being around me, on the other hand i ignored things including my feeling. About two months later we where talking one night and both admitted we still had feelings for eachother (mine where as strong as ever) so we met up again and discussed going back out with eachother - in fact we practically where. This was the summer and holidays and missions teams meant we didn't get to speak to eachother for a couple of weeks but i thought about him 24/7 and it felt just like when we had first met.
However when i came back from holiday, he ignored my texts and then we where due to go to a mission team together (with others from church) and he didnt speak the whole journey there...My initial reaction was to think that someone else was involved so one of my friends made him come speak to me and he said no-one else was involved he just needed to be single to concentrate on his reltionship with God...no mention of his feelings not being there anymore. I was devistated but didnt challenge him as i tried to use the time apart to do the same. From that point we still saw eachother regularly at church etc and he never spoke to me or made any effort. I tried on various ocassions to meet up to sort things out as i felt there was no closure and it wasn't right for us as christians to have issues with eachother.
About two months after he told me he wanted to be single e approached me after a church prayer metting to tell me he was now going out with my big sisters best friend!! i walked off with tears rolling down my cheeks, this was three months ago and i have to see him at least once or twice a week and my heart breaks every time. I feel sad, low and cry regularly because i still love him so much, we talked about marriage and i always thought he would be the person i spent my life with. I have prayed continuiously and my feelings won't go away. We both attend the same church and youth group while his new girlfriend goes to another one. I know God is soverign in all things and everything works together for the good of those who love him, however I can't help but ask why i am still feeling this way and why the connection in church is still there. It is so hard to deal with this and when im around him i just want things to go back to the way they where, i miss him sooo much and can never imagine being with anyone else.Also i am constantly comparing myself to his new girlfriend who i sort off know, cuz of the connection with my sister (who i am very close too) I am terrified of seeing them together! things have been better recently and he makes some effort to talk to me and when we look at eachother i still feel this immense connection which i dont know if i am imagining. any help/advice would be much appreciated we have been broken up for a year and i have not been the same person since then, everyone says so i just want to be able to not have these feelings for him and get back to my old self or for us to get back together, whatever Gods will is! thank you =)
oh and he has been my only boyfriend so it took a lot for me to enter a relationship with him in the first place

Beloved by Him responds..

I know you’re hurting and I can see why. You had great expectations for this relationship, especially because both of you are Christians and you wanted to honor God’s will for your lives. Now that he’s moved on, you’re dealing with the loss of the hopes you had, and the Bible says that can literally make your heart sick (Prov. 13:12). The pain of a broken heart can be felt in so many ways—spiritually, physically, and emotionally. God wants to heal you in each of these areas, so that you can grow stronger in Him and have your joy be full again (John 15:11).

The most important thing to build on right now is your spiritual foundation. You were lovingly created by God (Jer. 31:3) for His pleasure (Eph. 1:5). He is the lover of your soul, and your friend that sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24). You’re never not on His mind! (Ps. 139:17). The Lord wants you to be filled with His fullness (Eph.3:19), and someday, He will bring along the perfect person who will be another extension, not a replacement, of His love for you. God will put a fire in this man that burns for you and never goes out! (Song of Solomon 8:7) He knows exactly when you’ll be ready for your future husband (Ps. 18:30). Keep asking the Lord to give you patience and faithfulness to wait on His will and His perfect timing, and to prepare your heart for when that day comes.

Part of preparing your heart is learning to not be controlled by your emotions. Right now, it’s especially hard because your feelings have been so hurt, and God will be faithful to comfort you (II Cor. 1:4). As Christians, though, we also have to use the power of the Holy Spirit to move past what we are feeling (or seeing, or thinking) and walk by faith (II Cor. 5:7). If we don’t learn to filter our thoughts and feelings through the light of God’s wisdom and word (Heb. 4:12), then we can be led into mindsets, decisions, and actions that can deceive and destroy. The Lord wants you to be strong in this area, because it will bring you peace and rest in your spirit (Isaiah 26:3), as well as make your life a solid testimony to others.

That testimony will be so precious as people see the Lord working in your life, healing your heart and bringing you back into His service (II Thess. 2:16-17). It’s not healthy to despair over your situation. That’s why God calls us to fellowship with other believers: so that they can bear and share our burdens (Gal. 6:2). Find ways to actively serve God. You have a heart for missions—maybe He has a new thing planned for you (Is. 43:19)! Also, take care of your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:19). Get outside and exercise, which will help your state of mind as you enjoy the blessings of your health and God’s creation. This is different from just working out so that you can be more appealing to a guy, or look better than another girl. Don’t fall into the comparison trap with his new girlfriend. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14), and when the Lord brings you the right guy, His desire will only be for you! (Song of Solomon 7:10)

The only true connection between you and the other young man is that you two are brother and sister in Christ. God’s word calls us to be at peace with all men as much as depends on us (Rom. 12:18). This might mean that you need to separate yourself from seeing him, even platonically, until you can spend time together without being tempted to stir up old feelings. I think that the Lord is calling you to come away—to Him. Find your soul’s rest in Him, and let Him restore you, and your hope (Psalm 62:5).

Love you,

Sister Beloved by Him

He No Longer Wants To Be There For The Birth Of His Son

T. Marshall said...
The father of my child is no longer in the picture. Although he was the one who told me he was ready to have children and wanted to have them with me, I found out the hard way that that wasn't true. I've been having complications in my pregnancy and was finally put on bed rest until I go into labor. Even though my son's father isn't in the picture, I still have contact with him. When I let him know about the complications and the bed rest he told me that it was best for him if I didn't contact him until the baby is here on earth. Meaning, to me, that he no longer wanted to be there for the birth of his son. I'm getting to the point where I am just lost. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling any emotion toward him at all. I want to be civial but he makes it so hard. Should I call from the hospital before labor (and give him one last chance to be there)? Should I call him after? Or should I just wait until we go to court for child support? Bottomline, I just don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin my experience welcoming my son into the world if hes just going to be negative or not show up. But this is his son and I want him to be there. More so, I feel like if he had the option it would make me feel better when or if he doesn't show up. I don't want to feel like I kept him away. But I also dont want to be hurt if he lets us down for the uptenth time.

Trophy of Grace said...
I know that you are heartbroken and torn emotionally with everything that is going on in your life right now. Between the complications in your pregnancy and the feeling of abandonment that you must have because the father of your child has neglected his responsibilities, I can imagine you are overwhelmed. However, I want you to know that even though this young man has abandoned you and your unborn child that God has not abandoned you and He never will. He is always faithful to care for all of our needs emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. He is our Provider and that is where your hope must come from.

The father of your child has requested that you do not contact him until the baby is born. I think that you should respect his wishes and grant his request. Don’t force yourself or the pregnancy on him. It will only cause you more trouble and heartache for you if he continues to reject you. It’s hard not to take it personal, I know. But I think you should avoid the hurt. He will come around if he wants to and when he’s ready. I like to think it is better to be alone than in bad company. Your pregnancy does not need any extra stress. In fact if you are overly stressed the baby can feel that and you could even go into premature labor. Think about your health and the baby’s health. Cast this burden on the Lord and allow the Word of God to be the comfort and support you need during this trying to time in your life.

However, when you go into labor you could call or text him to give him another opportunity to have the privilege of being present for the birth of his son. If he chooses not to go then you must forgive him and leave him in God’s hands. He knows better how to deal with this young man. You have to focus on becoming the mom that God has intended you to be. You need to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepared to raise your son. Our children are a blessing from God and He has entrusted them to us for us to care for and love, to teach them about Him, His will, and His Word. You need to be prayed up and ready for this honorable task of being a mother. If father of your child does not want to be apart of that then it will most certainly be his lose. He will regret it one day I am sure.

You feel lost, angry, and you hate all the emotions that you feel right not toward him and about this whole situation. This is where you need to humble yourself before God and ask Him to help you to forgive him even thought he may not deserve it. Realize that forgiving him is not for him but for you. You will be held captive by hostility, a quarreling spirit, outbursts of anger, dissension, strife, bitterness, and all sorts of negative spirits and emotion if you do not forgive him. You can not allow this anger to root it’s self in your heart resulting in bitterness and hate. Remember also that during pregnancy that our emotions every because it will result in bitterness rooting its self deeply in your heart.

Instead forgive him and allow the Holy Spirit to heal your heart. Take your eyes off of what this young man isn’t doing in your life or in his son’s life and put your eyes on Jesus. Focus on having an intimate relationship with Him and you will see that you will have everything you need to handle every situation in your life. It all starts with truly submitting your will, your ways, your emotions, EVERYTHING to Jesus Christ. Then you will know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter happens to you and no matter what comes against you that it will be all good because God is for you.

Here are some scriptures to meditate on:

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6: 14

Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! Matthew 18: 21-22

So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Matthew 18: 35

Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. Colossians 3: 13

Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my [sad] countenance, and my God. Psalm 43: 5


Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23

Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it [fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you]. 1 Thessalonians 5: 24

I Feel So Lost and Confused

Anonymous said...
I need advice on a subject that everybody keeps telling me to just simple move on from its better said then done i was in a relatinship with this guy and i really loved him i mean i really did to the point where my relationship with god faded everyday.He later broke up with me because he said that we had nothing in common long story short the day that me and him broke up he was already trying to get with this girl who he said he had more in common with from what i hear she is in 12th grade and i already knew he was in 11th but after he graduates they are surpose to be getting married this was about 3 months ago that we had been brokenup i fill so bad like i drove him to her i see him and her together down the hall holding had all the time its as if we never had anything at all and the worst part about it is i gave him my first kiss i was saving it for my future husband but now its gone and we almost slept together to but the holy spirit would not let me .i fill awful i find myself constantly thinking about him and her and how stupid i was for falling for him .as you are reading this please stop and pray for me .i fill so lost and confused

Trophy of Grace said...
Ok..As you requested..

My Dear Lord,

You see my sister’s heart here. She is hurt and confused. Help her to heal from these feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Let her realize in her heart that she is a special child of God born with a purpose and destined to serve you. I thank you Lord that you have removed this young man from her life. I thank you that she did not follow through with giving herself to this young man. Help her to stay completely pure. Pure in her mind, heart and body. Use this situation to draw her closer to You. We know that you work every thing out for our good and I know that you are doing a wonderful work in her. Help her to forgive this young man and move on with her life knowing without a shadow of doubt that you have the right man out there for her. A man that loves you and will love her too. In Jesus name I pray..Amen.

My Dear sweet sister,

This break up was the best thing that could have happened for you. Anything that draws us away from God is never from God. Always remember that..You said that this relationship caused your relationship with God to fade. You can not ever put your eyes on man. Your eyes have to remain on God. You have to learn to fear Him and love His Word. Seek Him again and He will heal your wounds. (Psalm 30:2)

There is a comment that we have on our MySpace that says, “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek God in order to find her.” You have to turn around and start really seeking God’s face. Allow Him to make your crooked paths straight and do a new thing in your life. Forget the past and look ahead because He has a wonderful plan for you and He wants to help you become a mighty women of God. So trust Him when He allows people to be removed from your life, especially when those people become a wedge between you and your Savior.

The scripture that keeps coming up in my mind is Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

You have to seek God’s will and His way in your life. He will be your Guide. His Holy Spirit living in us gives us the ability to make wise decisions based on the Word of God, but you have to know the Word of God. The more you read the bible you will see that your mind will be renewed and you’ll learn to have respect for God. Respecting or fearing God will give you a desire to live a righteous Christian life and you will see that this will result in many blessings. Blessings like a godly man who will want to serve you and respect your desire to want to serve God. In fact He will help you in your walk of faith and encourage you to persevere in Christ Jesus.

It’s time for a change sister. Come back to the One who truly loves your and never leaves you and forsakes you.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

P.S.

Forgive this young man and find healing. If you do not forgive him you will not be able to move on. Just accept this as a blessing and remember what Romans 8:28-30 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

I'm Pregnant and He Left Me

Emailer: Wow I was really touched when I read your story im a single mother myself my boyfriend recently left me an im pregnant with our second child I know GOD is the only one that can help me through this trial but its soo hard to see that theres hope for me to make it through alone. My kids mean everything to me I know GOD has a better plan for us but its soo hard to see that when soo much is bringing me down.

Saved By Faith’s Response: When faced with these circumstances, it's so easy to see how hard it will be or how much suffering we have faced. But that is exactly when we have to step out on faith, praise God for giving you strength and be reassured that you WILL make it through because God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

I have to be honest with you, being a single parent is very difficult. I left my ex almost 8 years ago. I would love to tell you that it's a piece of cake but I'd be lying. You will have your ups and downs... and so will the kids. For years my kids asked why he and I weren't together anymore. One thing for us is that he chose not to support his children emotionally or financially... I was on my own 100%. I thought it was going to be horrible but when I saw my children smiling more everyday; when I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders; I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

You're right, know that GOD can help you through this trial.
God does give us hope and that will get you and your children through the adjustment time.

James 1:12 assures us “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

Be strong, pray everyday, and we will pray for you as well.

If you ever want to talk, please feel free... I'm only an email away.

Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies


Emailer Replies: THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS AN WRITIN BACK IM JUST GOING TO LEAVE MY LIFE AN DECISIONS IN GOD HANDS AN JUST KEEP MY FAITH IN HIM AN HOPE FOR THE BEST AN IM GLAD TO HEAR THAT GOD HAS HELPED U IT LETS ME SEE THAT THERE IS HOPE FOR ME TOO!

We Broke Up Again, My Heart Is Broken

Anonymous comments: I love what you guys are doing, thank you for taking the time to help and encourage people in God's word over their lives.

I was hoping to get some help on a situation. 2 years ago I started going out with a boy who was quite immature and because of this and a series of disappointments I split up with him as I felt this was right and he was not really walking with God.

Afterwards he really discouraged me for about a year making me feel really uncomfortable in church and youth, which made me not want to go. I felt horrible within myself and although staying close to God I felt like I was nothing without him and that I truly loved him.

About 6 months ago he came around again confessing he did still like me - we waited a few months getting to know each other and praying for God’s grace and what He thinks on the situation. I was never happier to be going out with him again, everything seemed amazing and I was with the man I loved.

Yesterday he split up with me because we had different desires for life, I wanted to travel, and he felt called to our country which made things awkward. I don't know how to get over him as everything felt so right before. He has messed with my emotions so much and everyone tells me I can do better and to stay clear of him.

I just want to be with him again, I couldn't get him out of my head for about a year last time, and now I can see it being worse. I want God to deal with him but I want to move on, I find it so hard.

The world’s way would be to find a rebound relationship probably, I just need strength and a realization that he is not the one for me, please, do you have any words of encouragement?

Thanks so much!

Saved By Faith Comments: Thank you for your encouraging words regarding our site. I pray that God gives me the words to uplift you in your time of need, in dealing with this new breakup.

Studies and statistics have shown that females become more emotionally attached than guys. We are more susceptible to ‘feel’ that we have stronger feelings than we might have. Your recent break up sounds like a matter of different paths in life. lthough you both walk with God spiritually, your fleshly paths seem to be going in different directions.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to separate due to these differences. It might be easier to handle now rather than months or years from now. No matter how much we may joke about it, breaking up is hard to do. And even more, picking up the pieces and moving on is even harder.

2 Timothy 4:5
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

In the same relation of your feelings right now… the bible shows us that Paul's life and ministry was used to demonstrate to Timothy, and to other Christians who face suffering, failure and brokenness (aka all of us), the response of faith.

2 Timothy 4:16-18 tells a story of Paul’s feelings of loneliness and that death is certain. Despite his faithfulness and love, all those who had loved him and offered their support had now abandoned him -- "everyone deserted me".

2 Timothy 4:16-18
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Even with this hardship and feelings of abandonment, Paul’s triumph lies in his faith: "the Lord stood by me and gave me strength" (verse 17). Faith in the truth, beauty, and goodness of God’s word gave Paul all the companionship and consoling that he needed.

He isn't alone, abandoned, imprisoned. He's loved, saved, and soon to be made whole. He is not angry at those who dumped him; at those who betrayed him. He has no regrets or wishes for the way things were. Instead, he gives witness to his future and who his source of strength is.

Whatever the circumstance, the Lord is always by your side. Be headstrong and pray for His strength to mend you from your recent wounds. Press forward in your faith and love for our Heavenly Father and you will reap the many rewards of a true, everlasting relationship. One that is undeniable and yours forever.

I will pray for you.

Lovingly,

Saved By Faith


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

My Ex Left Me With 2 Kids

MySpace Friend Writes... I need ur advise i receantly got out of a 5yr relationship i have 2 kids with this guy. I have nothing i dont want 2 live with my dad ! But i have no were 2 go. And my ex boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and i cant get over him wat should i do? Plz reply

Response... I am sorry that you are going through this. I know how much it hurts, but you can not allow this situation to consume you. You have to allow God to heal you and help you move on with your life.

If this young man as left you and your children and you have no where to go but back home to your dad’s, then you must humble yourself and do that. You have to try to make this situation the least traumatic as possible for the sake of your children. They do not need to be bouncing from place to place. If your dad is willing to take you and his grandchildren in then accept the help until you can stand on your own again. I know that you may not want to go but just thank God that you have somewhere to go.

I remember a time when I had to go back to live with my dad with my boyfriend and two kids. We both worked and saved to get our own place and a better car. This time at my dad’s allowed us to do exactly that. I thank God for my dad’s help.

I would suggest if you have not already, go seek assistance from the state. They will often times help with medical insurance, food stamps, housing, and financial assistance. There are even programs that will help pay for childcare. Make sure that you search out any help that maybe available to you.

Regarding your broken heart and not feeling like you can get over your ex. I have learned in my own life that I can do nothing on my own. I need Jesus to help me deal with every part of my life, especially the difficult and emotionally stressful situations. I am encouraged when I remember what Philippians 4:6-7 in the bible says. It says:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

I no longer stress out no matter what the situation. I trust God with my life and my problems and I want to encourage you to do the same. Allow this to be your fresh start. You can not face this being a single mother alone. You don’t have to. Jesus wants to help you if you will only trust Him with your life. He will be your Provider and your Comfort. He can heal you from the hurt that this young man and this relationship has caused. He will lead you if you will chose to follow Him.

Go before God and pray in Jesus name for God to forgive you and help you. If you confess your sins to Him he will be faithful to forgive you. If you believe in Jesus and ask Him to take control over your life He will. He can make you a new woman. A new creation in Him with the mind of Christ and the power of His Spirit to help you through this life. It’s all about believing in Jesus.

You will find that you will be able to do all things through Christ Jesus, because He will give you the strength and the power to succeed and overcome. If you want to get over your ex love you will need a new Love. The Love of Christ. The One who has always loved you and wants to help you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He does not abandons us EVERY! You can put all of your trust in Him and cast all of your cares on Him because He cares for your every need.

Take it from someone who was a mess, an excon, abandoned by her husband, addicted to drugs, with no hope. That is who I was..now I am a his Trophy of Grace because of what Christ Jesus did for me and in me. He can do the same for you, but you must first trust Him. God bless you sister.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth.To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

MySpace Friend Responds...

Thank you so much for your word they mean so much to me. I belive Jesus can help me.

Can I Remarry After Divorcing My Abusive Husband?

Anonymous said... I have a question: I have prayed about it (alot), I have asked for wisdom from other Christians, I have even went to a counseling session by a minister..and to no avail. I just end up more confused after talking with these people, then before I came to them. So here it goes:

I am married, and have been for almost 8 years now, but we have been seperated for over a year. I left him because he was verbally abusive to me and our girls (3 daughters), and he ocasionally hit me when I didnt see things his way. He has a bad marajuana habbit, and even at one point tried to sell me to some guys for money. He also conviced me to do sexuzl things with other men while we were married, and would yell at me and hit me if I refused. Then when I did, he would say he hated me because I cheated on him. I was messed up in the head from that. Not to mention,he never worked to provide for us the whole time we were together. I would work,take care of the kids,and go to college.He often would leave me at home all day and night without any food, or money to buy any for our kids.All he cared about was hanging out with his friends.

The confusing part about this is that he is supposedly "called to the ministry" and he used to live right. He started telling me that I cant go to church without him...and he wasnt going, so I couldnt either. That was a very dark time for me (about 3 years). I was no longer in love with him and I wanted to leave, but I was afraid. He threatened to kill me and my family. I know what the Bible says about marriage and divorce, so I wanted to honor that but I couldnt shake the feeling that this wasnt God's best for me.

About 3 1/2 months ago I had a very distrubing dream about my husband and the things he was doing I didnt know about. In that dream I believe God told me to leave town immediately..so I did. Since then I have started a new life in a new state with my girls. We have never been this happy. I feel safe and secure, I have a great church home that I am actively involved in. The dilema is that I want a divorce, but he doesnt. He tells me that Im out of the will of God and I need to come back, but I dont want to be connected to that man anymore. Im meeting wonderful people at my new church that treat me so different than he did. I dont want to be uneligible to remarry by divorcing him if he wants to be with me. At the same time, its been over a year and I am starting to have interest elsewhere. I am not dating anyone or anything( he is). I dont know what to do. Does the Bible say that I have to stay single since I left him?

Trophy of Grace said...
I think you have done the right thing by running as far away as you can from this abusive relationship. That feeling that you couldn’t shake was our Heavenly Father trying to encourage and assure you that the abusive relationship you were in was NOT His best for you. He has something better for you. He will restore everything you lost and more. I believe our merciful Lord was warning you in that dream of danger to come. I am glad that you listened and got away from that situation.

Regarding divorcing your husband..

1 Cor 7:12-16 “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; GOD HAS CALLED US TO LIVE IN PEACE." NIV

I know it says here that you must not leave him if he wants to be with you, but it also says that God has called us to live in peace. Your husband is violent abuser, who has sold you for drugs, physically, emotionally, and verbally abused you. He has neglected his responsibilities to care for and protect both you and your children. You can not be with him if he has not gotten help. I don’t mean just reading the bible and praying. He needs help from a Christian counselor or physiologist. I don’t think that you are wrong for filing for a divorce.

Regarding remarrying..

I would consider your husband an unbeliever who has abandoned his believing wife. I do not believe that you should feel guilty for remarry. You are not bound by such circumstances. (1 Corinthians 7:16)I know that he is trying to tell you that you are out of the will of God, however I believe this is just a manipulation tactic that he is using. These are the same tactics he used while you were in your marriage. Remember that the enemy of our soul knows the Word of God too and he will try to bring condemnation on us and make us feel guilty so that we stay in bondage.

We will be praying for you and your children’s safety. God bless you and stay encouraged by the reading the Word of God.

P.S.Here is an article I found that I thought may encourage you.

http://www.troubledwith.com/AbuseandAddiction/A000000921.cfm?topic=abuse%20and%20addiction%3a%20alcoholism

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

They're Trying To Break Us Up

A Friend Asked: ok so my boyfriend a week before he met me was gonna ask this gurl out but she said she was 2 busy and then he met me.
what im trying 2 say is my best friend is trying 2 break us up.
and that gurl that almost went with him is trying 2 steal him from me so what do i do?

Response:I think the relationship is between you & him… not to include anyone else’s thoughts or opinions about it. If the two of you want to be together then your best friend should respect that… as long as it’s a healthy relationship. If there are outside people trying to interfere, the two of you really have to trust one another and be able to endure whatever rumors, gossip or trouble they make.

Is it something that the two of you want to continue? Is he in this relationship just as much as you? Before devoting any more time and effort into this, find out where he stands about the relationship. You should have the same dedication and desire to continue to be together. If either one of you are faulty there, it will eventually fall apart. You have to be strong and endure the criticism.

Ungodly efforts will be thrown your way, testing you in every situation. This could be a test of endurance and faithfulness for you & him. This could be the deciding factor on what kind of relationship you will have… whether it’s a friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend, or acquaintances. Discuss this with your boyfriend. Also, talk to your best friend. Speak to her out of love, letting her know how you feel and how her interference makes you feel.

Pray about your relationship and the storms it’s going through. Pray that God gives you the clarity you need to see your way through this, regardless of the outcome.

I will pray for you as well.

Romans 15:5
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Pt 2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

(Continued from posting 'I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her')

Anonymous responds..Well I didn't get to read this until me and him broke up guess God answered me ...I am very hurt and betrayed I found out he had sex 2x and made out with his ex with kids and cheated on me. I feel very hurt by this. Pray for me and God bless.

Trophy of Grace responds..

I know your hurt, but you're right, God did answer your prayer. He sees your pain and He knows the betrayal you feel. He hurts when you hurt.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose."

I want you to know that God has a plan for your life and a purpose. His plans for you is good not for evil or to harm you. You have got to learn to trust Him with your life and allow Him to be your Guide. He will guide you and lead you down the right path for your life, if you will allow Him to.

When we make decisions for our life on our own without seeking His counsel and direction we are bound to make a mess out of our situations. We can't see the future. We can't see the intent of people's hearts. However, God is all knowing, all powerful, and He is all present. When we put our life in His hand we can not go wrong.

If you want to learn to make better decisions for your life seek Wisdom. The wisdom that comes only from knowing the Word of God, Jesus Christ. His is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He came that we may have life and freedom. Not freedom to do what we want, but freedom from anything that would try to keep us in bondage or lead us to eternal death and seperation from Him.

Not only do we need Him because we need direction and wisdom, but because we are sinners. We are guilty of violating God's laws. When we sin it is against God that we sin. So we need salvation from God's wrath. That salvation is found through faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He dies for our sins.

Romans 10:9-10

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

If you have already accepted the Lord as your Savior then you are a new creation.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

As a new creation then you need to renew your mind by reading the Word of God which will give you wisdom and direction for your life. It will help restructure your thought process so that you can make decisions that will help you prosper and be successful.

Ever since I have surrendered my life to the Lord and daily reading His Word I found peace and hope. My life has been changed. I was mess, trust me.You can read my story (the short nicer version) http://weused2bu.%20blogspot.%20com/2008/05/tropy-of-graces-testimony.%20html

I know this was long..but I just want you to know that Jesus loves you and in trusting Him you don't have to settle for these fake lovers. Jesus is the Lover of your soul and He will never betray you or forsake you.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.

In Christ Love,

Trophy of Grace

** CONTINUED **
- I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Baby Daddy Drama

MySpace Friend Writes..
Hi. I’m almost 19. I have a son with my ex-boyfriend. I live with my son and my new boyfriend, whom I love dearly, but sometimes I wonder how things would have been if me and my ex worked out. You see, there were a lot of problems in our relationship. It practically started out as a problem. When my ex and I first got together, he was with another girl. They had a relationship for 7 or 8 years, and he cheated on her with me on and off for 2 years.

Then he was lying to me, cheating on me, just constantly messing up. I'd catch him in so many lies, but it seemed he always knew what to say to get out of it, or he'd try to explain his way thru. When I was pregnant with our son, he left me for her. I tried to get him to come back, but he wouldn't. He would tell me how he was so against abortion, but when I threatened him and said "if you are going to make me do this alone then I am just getting an abortion" he was okay with it. He actually gave me the money to get the procedure done. I was devastated that he was really leaving, but I was going to have the baby with or without him. Like I said, I was desperate, and it was just a threat.

Anyhow, he chose to be with her. I'd call to talk to him about the baby inside me and he wouldn't get on the phone because she didn’t want him talking to me. What u know...he did it behind her back. After a while, he came back to me. Now, he's cheated on her with me, cheated on me with her, left her for me, left me for her, and now left her again. At the time I was infatuated. I thought he was the guy of my dreams and we'd work things out. He'd tell me how I was the one, and when certain songs would play on the radio he'd say how he's gonna play them at our wedding. When he was with me everything felt perfect. I thought I'd found my prince charming at last. Then he started constantly hanging out with his friends, getting tattoos, and going to the strip club all of the time while I sat at home achy and pregnant.

I'd beg him to stay, but he wouldn't. He'd just tell me to come with. It really agitated me because I hurt so bad and he'd go out 5 or 6 days of the week late at night. He'd work all day then come home around 8, get ready, and leave again. I was pregnant. I wanted to be at home with him. All of this occured between 6 and 9 months of pregnancy. I already hadn't seen him all day. It would have been nice to have spent some time together. I didn't want him leaving again, and I certainly didn't want to be out until 4 a.m. He even did this to me on Valentines Day. Later on I found out that he had been with her.

One day out of the blue while I was 9 months pregnant I asked him to take the towels to the basement to be washed. I had to ask him over and over again, so I got ticked of and said I'd do it myself. He freaked out on me and told me I was being a B and to shut the F up, then he slammed the bathroom door in my face. He had never done anything remotely close to that before. He never spoke to me like that, never fought with me, never got angry. It all happened out of nowhere. When I asked him what was wrong with him he told me he couldn't see me anymore. That there was no one else, he just felt weird coming home to me, that something had changed, that all I do anymore is irritate him. He said that he was only happy when he was at work or with friends, and the moment he had to drive home or when he'd think about me he'd get depressed.
Next thing I knew he moved out and was done with me. I would check up on him and I found him and her together one night. When I asked him about it he claimed he wasn’t with her, that his friend was. So I spoke to his friend. Apparently my ex asked him to lie for him. The friend was supposed to tell me that my ex wasn’t with her, but his friend told me the truth.

It was constant drama. I've heard so many hurtful things from other people that my ex has said. When I caught him cheating on me, he said it was twice. It turned out to be 11 times. When I asked him how much he was spending at the strip club he said he was only paying for drinks, turns out he spent over $400 dollars when our son didn’t even have a crib to sleep in. When I defended him he in turn made me look like an idiot. I was trying to defend his actions of coming back to me to make it right because he loved me and the baby, I looked like a fool. I was told how on his birthday when he blew out his candles that people asked what he wished for and he told them "I wish she would get an abortion."

His ex has even called me to tell me that he has genital warts and that he gave them to her and I should get checked. I did, and I have nothing, but he denies that as well even after he went to a doctor to get treated! I think something is really wrong with him. I got over him and I am with someone else...my current boyfriend.

He is wonderful. He pays all of the baby's expenses. Formula, food, diapers, wipes, clothes, toys...everything. he is very truthful, he doesn’t lie, and he doesn’t cheat on me. He has a bit of a temper, but he treats me well. Now that I am happy with him, my ex is trying to come back into the picture. He doesn't do anything for his son. He doesn’t see him, he's ordered to pay support and is about $3,000 behind, and he doesn’t do a thing. He works 2 jobs, HVAC and construction, but there both under the table so I am not receiving any support. Instead, he is out getting tattoos, going to the strip club, and buying designer clothing. I saw his pictures and he's wearing all Armani and Ed Hardy stuff. It really hurts to know that because we have a hard enough time paying rent, buying food, keeping up with the things the baby needs, and he's out living the life of glamour.

The kiddo is going to need winter clothes, and I need some help. I've said this to my ex via email, and all I get is excuses. He says he's sent all of the checks in, but they were returned to his mother’s boyfriend’s house because they couldn’t read his handwriting. He wrote down that address because he doesn’t want domestic relations to know where he lives. He's shady. I had his sister look thru his check book and she said he only wrote one check to DRS and it was for court costs. Why does he feel the need to lie about everything?

Now, he's trying to come back to me. He tells me he's never stopped loving me, and he wants to try to make it work again. I’m not going back though. I’m happy with my current boyfriend, and one day I would like for us to be married. I know how my ex is. He's a snake and I don’t trust him. But why is it that he keeping playing with my heart. I think the only reason he is trying to come back to me is because he's burned all of his bridges with everyone else. He recently lost the other girl again, and now she is done for good with him. I think he's just lonely and wants anybody.

He's even had the nerve to make out with two of my friends and sleep with another one. He's messed around with even more. It's disgusting. He's turning 21 this month, and he's having sex with girls who are 15-17. He had a threesome with two girls who are 16 and 17, and one of them has Hepatitis C. He doesn’t care what he's doing to his body or how people look at him. He's lost all of his friends, and the only people who want to be around him are young and naive girls. He's taken advantage of everyone he knows, and its making me sick. He's a man whore! He has HPV, Genital warts, Chlamydia, hepatitis, and who knows what else. I’m sure he isn’t telling these girls about it either.

He says he wants to see his boy and work things out with me, but I don’t want either of these. He's already a horrible father. He's told people he wishes I'd have had an abortion...why should he see his son? He wouldn't even sign the paternity papers at the hospital cuz he wasn’t sure if the baby was his, even though he tattooed our sons name on his neck. The baby came out and looks EXACTLY like him. He doesn't even resemble me at all. He signed to have the birth announcement in the paper for me as the mother and him as the father, had this tattoo, and wanted me to give the baby his last name, but made me look like a slut in front of everyone.

He didn’t even spend a single night with me in the hospital. He told me he needed to get some rest, but instead he left the hospital and spent the night with the other girl. Why is he trying to come back to me? I wanted him for soooo long, but it wasn't good enuff. Now that I dont want him, he wants me!!! I need some help. I'm so confused! Please help me!

Response..
Don’t allow yourself to be confused about this situation. It is clear that this young man has been taking advantage of you for quite some time. I know you must have some feelings for him, but don’t allow your heart to deceive you. The father of your child has maturing to do before he can give you the type relationship that you are looking for.

Instead what you need to do is forgive him for all of the hurt that he has caused you. From all that you have shared I feel like you could possibly have unforgiveness and resentment towards him. You also may be harboring anger. The unforgiveness, anger, and resentment that you are carrying around towards him will only hinder you. You have to choose to forgive him so that you can heal and truly move on with your life. As long as you are carrying this burden around he will have power over you.

By constantly remembering all of his offenses you are feeding the anger prolonging forgiveness and healing. You must learn to forgive him daily and leave these offenses and the offender (your ex boyfriend) in God’s hands. Believe me; I know it is easier said than done especially when it hits close to the heart. However, the Word of God tells us that if we do not forgive our offenders than God will not forgive us either. We are also commanded to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger in our lives.“Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who have sinned against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.” (Matthew 6:15)“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Also, you should start praying for him. Ask God to intercede and touch his life. He is the father of your child and although you have this new boyfriend nothing will change the fact he is the biological father. I’m sure that deep in your heart you want the best for this young man and you would like to see him be the father to your baby that he needs.

Consider your past decisions and where they have led you. We have an Awesome loving God that longs to help us and guide is on our journey through this life. Allow Him to help you make right decisions for you life. I promise if you will let Him in He will change your life and rock your world. All the love that you long for and direction you seek is found in knowing Christ Jesus.

I will be praying for all of you.

** CONTINUED ** Pt2 Cont. from Baby Daddy Drama

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her

<
Anonymous Asked... hey i know what your going thro i need advice simlar to that i have a boyfriend we been dating for 3 months he has 2 kids never married 23 i am only 19 so is his baby mama the babies are 2 and 1 boy and girl ..lately seems as tho he feels uncomfortable around both of us so she often trys to keep me and her apart ...i love him we are engaged..my family aint so crazy about the idea but yea.. the day he broke up with her is the day me and him met...conqincidental i dunno but ..we been dating 3 months and she has been jealous for the most part trying to break us up well now she has a b.f and her baby daddy my b.f is all on alert about the new guy he doesnt know and i am worried that maybe he does have alot of feelings for her if every time she comes around he trys to hide me..when she knows we are engaged and together i met his whole family so when it comes to her b.c they dated for 5 years he feels like its akward to see us in the same room i pray all the time what should i do ???? email me i need to know

Trophy of Grace said...
I can understand why your family isn’t too happy about this relationship moving so fast. Three months is hardly enough time to determine that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. Especially with someone who just recently got out of a five year relationship with two kids.

This is a very delicate situation that you have involved yourself in. Your fiancé is still recovering from a broken heart and failed dreams from a relationship that produced two children. If he is acting the way that you say then it seems to me that he most certainly still has feelings for the mother of his children. Of course he would because it’s only been three months. How could he possibly give your relationship the commitment it needs when she still has part of his heart and mind?

He’s focus really should be his children now. Not trying to get into another relationship on the rebound. You don’t need anyone’s sloppy seconds. That is what your relationship will be, sloppy. He’s trying to figure out what he really wants and what the right thing is to do. You don’t want to find yourself on the sidelines hoping that he isn’t still in love with her. Hoping that one day he will be completely yours. Do you want to have to compete for your future husband’s heart?

You have to do what’s best for you right now. Pray and really ask God if this is what He wants for your life. I believe that He has something better for you, but you have to be patient and wait. If you will begin to seek God’s will for your life He will give you the desires of your heart, because as you begin to seek Him your desires start to line up with God’s will. He has good gifts to give you. He has a good man in store for you. I’m sorry to say but I really do not think this man is for you. His heart still belongs to another.

My suggestion would be to leave this young man alone. Give him time and space to see if this is really what he wants. More importantly give your self space to pray and seriously seek God’s face about this. I would not want to see you hurt.

I will be praying for all of you,

God bless you

Trophy of Grace

** CONTINUED **
- Pt2 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt3 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her
- Pt4 Cont. from I'm Worried He Still Has Feelings For Her



PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

7th Grade Boy Problems & Pregnant at 12

Anonymous Question: At School in the 7th grade it's pretty tuff,I mean you are exposed to A LOT of things Like:My Friend was PREGNANT and she's only 12 she had an abortion,and now she's engaged to the father of the baby!
and a lot of other things such as boys and I recently got out of a relationship,and it just didn't feel right to be with him,but it still hurt when one of his guy friends,broke it off with me for him,How do I get over him, HE flirts with ALL my friends right in front of me! and it just really hurts!

Answer: Hey. I’m answering this in parts because I want to address everything you mentioned.

Your Friend - I’m surprised at the fact that a 12-year-old is engaged… did her parents permit this? What’s even more heart-wrenching is that your friend was pregnant at such a young age. 7th grade is a transition year… tween… from child to teen. There are so many things you will begin to experience and see. Circles of friends shift, changing because of everyone’s personalities developing more. There’s also more peer pressure for more adult situations, like drinking, drugs and sex.

Sex might seem like just another “thing” but there really is so much more involved. It is proven that females become emotionally attached quicker than males. And being sexually involved with someone heightens that emotional attachment. Not only are you giving that person yourself physically but you end up giving them your feelings/emotions as well. And at 12 years old, you’re not done developing mentally or physically. Give yourself a chance to develop, learn what love really is, how to give it and how to receive it. Besides that, there are a lot of repercussions from having pre-marital sex. Aside from pregnancy, she’s also opening herself to STDs… some of which are lifers (like HIV, AIDS, and herpes to name a few).

In a way, this pubescent age is spent like a caterpillar, wrapped in a permeable womb, morphing into something so much more grander and beautiful. Why sacrifice the beauty and pureness that God has intended you to be just for an “in the moment” attraction?

The choices/decisions your friends make also affect you and other’s perception of you. Choose your friends wisely. If your friend is having sex already, people will look at how she’s living and assume you are the same way because you’re close with her (guilty by association). I hope you choose to surround yourself with good company.

Psalm 144:12
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.

II Timothy 2:22
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Your Break Up – break ups are always tough, especially when it’s done to you. Knowing that it didn’t feel right being with him should be confirmation that you shouldn’t have been in the relationship. Another plus is that with him initiating the split, it shows that he wasn’t ready for a relationship either. (So, in a way, you both felt the same.) I think what hurts the most isn’t the break up itself but the way it happened. When I was 12, I was broken up with through my boyfriend’s friend too. I felt rejected because he didn’t even have the nerve to look at me and tell me for himself. With that feeling of rejection, came anger. There he was, strolling around the hallways like nothing with a big ole smile on his face, while I sneered at him as I walked by. Eventually it passed though. I realized it was too much too soon. I wanted to enjoy 7th grade without any extra problems or hassles. I threw myself more into sports and friends and really enjoyed that school year.

I know 7th grade is difficult. I learned SO much in that year and the years to follow. And as every year passed, I would reflect on the previous year and what I did and would think to myself, “Why did I do that?!? Man, if I only knew then what I know now.” Actually, I still say that at times!

Life is a learning process. We are taught from a very young age the difference between right and wrong. We were built with an inner sense of “should I” or “shouldn’t I.” We also know learn what God requires of us. Take your time in growing up… enjoy the carefree years you have (excluding homework and tests :/ ). Know that this is a time for you to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually and all those other situations will be waiting for you when you’re older… when you’re better equipped to handle them.

I Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

Psalm 71:17
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.


I hope you take the time to reflect.

With Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

My friends & Family Don't Like Him

Anonymous Asks..My ex-boyfriend wants to get back with me, but a couple of friends and siblings don't like him AT ALL!! What do I do? I kind of do want to get back with him, but I don't want to cause more drama for him.

Anwer..The first thing I would suggest that you do is pray about it. Ask God to help you make the right decision. You don’t want to be with someone that God has not intended you to be with. God is an all knowing God. He sees the future and knows what’s best for us. That’s why it is always best to ask for God’s will to be done in our lives rather than our own. Remember that sometimes God’s will doesn’t fit with our own ideas or the way we would handle things, but we have to trust Him anyways because He is on our side. Sit and evaluate the situation for your self. Why doesn’t your family like him? Our families usually do not want to see us get hurt. If this young man has hurt you in the past they may just be afraid that he may do it again. I don’t the know situation, but I know my family and how protective we are of each other. Think about what lead up to your break up. Is the relationship really repairable or is it time to just forgive and move on? Sometimes certain people are only meant to be in our lives for a season.

My final suggestion is to take some time to yourself. You don’t need to be anxious to make this decision. A scripture that comes to mind that I think about often is Philippians 4:6-7 which says: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

You will see that if you will pray about it God will help you make the right decision and then He will give you peace about it. I will be praying for God to give you wisdom and courage to make the right decision.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth.To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE


Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

He Parties All Week & Has No Job

QUESTION:
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3months but we have known each other since elementery school. I just broke up with him last week because he goes out 7days a week and gets drunk, he dont have a job but he goes out every night. I told him from the begining that i didnt like that he goes out every night, that he should get up and look for a job, he has been looking for a job and he is a great person, he has a great personality, hes a faithful man and i havent found anybody else like him thats the only problem we have he just goes out too much. I told him to get things together and prove to me that he can do what he has to do and get a job because i wasnt taking care of no man. I told him we would sit down and talk this weekend face to face and maybe take it slow this time but that he has to prove to me that he loves and get his stuff together because i wasnt getting back with him to just waste my time. Do you think i was wrong for breaking up with him, should i take it slow this time..... Im confused and dont know what to do

ANSWER:
I think breaking up with him was for your best interest. You know in your heart that he’s not living his life how God intended (Galatians 5:18-21). Pray about it; trust the feeling God has given you. God is leading you towards Him, steering you away from the temptations of this world. Take this time apart to draw nearer to God. Take into consideration that God may have put this break up in your heart because He has to work on your ex… refocusing his life on more righteous living.

My ex and I had a very similar problem. It took me years to realize that I couldn’t change his ways… that was a battle that he & the Lord had to work through together.

Be there for him as a friend, as you’ve been since elementary school. Pray for him everyday. God willing, he will be able to refocus and get his life back on track. If he is who God intended for you, the Lord will lead you back together. In the meantime, work on building your relationship with the Lord. Through His word we find love, hope and joy.


Sincerely,

Saved by Faith

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Did I Do The Right Thing?

Question..Ok..i'll try to shorten up the story. Me and Chris dated twice before we got together the 3rd time. We just recently broke up like 3 days ago and dated a lil over 11 months. He would bring up my ex-boyfriends and try to get me not hanging out with my best friend. It took him 5 months to stop talking about one of my ex-boyfriends. During Christmas he was just an a**hole..to be blunt. There was a lot of good times but after 6 months I just didn't feel anything anymore. I didn't wanna throw our relationship away, I wanted to try to work things out. He was never abusive or anything, well sometimes it felt like it emotionally. After about 7 months I started acting like a complete b*t*h, again to be blunt, to get back at him and let him know how i felt. Then 3 days ago we got into a big argument and I finally said its over for good. I've broken up with him many times before but got back together the same day or the next. After I broke up with him he texted MY MOM at 1 in the MORNING trying to get me trouble. Now my question is..was that right of me? I feel I made the right decision and we both need it. I'm sorta needing someone, I don't know, telling me it was right. Ya know? Someone who doesn't know me or Chris. The last few nights have been rough cause thats when I just lay there and think. I haven't been able to fall asleep..and the only way I do go to sleep is if I make myself. I know its gonna be rough for the next few nights. Now all I'm asking is if you please just give me your honest opinion.
Best Wishes and God Bless!


Answer..I think that you are doing the right thing. It sounds like he had some trust issues. You don't need to be with someone who is so insecure. That is just going to cause you more problems. Be strong. The first couple of days are the hardest. You were together for awhile so your regular routine included him.

Take this time to focus on drawing closer to God. He is the one that wants to spend time with you. He has a wonderful plan for your life and has been knocking on the door of your heart for some time now. (Jeremiah 29:11)

He wants to guide you and lead you in your life. He longs to bless you above and beyond what you could ever imagine, if you will only trust Him.

So I encourage you to start seeking God for your life and I promise you that your life will be changed.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

Have a question or topic idea?
Read Scriptures by Subject
Read our counselors' testimonies

Tiny Voice Telling Me To Let Go

Anonymous said...
I need advice… I am 23 years old and have been with my boyfriend for two years; he is my best friend and we have so much fun together when we aren’t fighting. We are both Christians and go to church every Sunday. He has a 4 year old son with another girl (which was upsetting for me because of her behavior towards me but we have gotten past that). He is satisfied with his relationship with God, even though he doesn't keep in His word (God's word) and only goes to church when I ask him to. I have trust issues with him because of what we went through with his ex in the past and the longer that we are together the harder it is for me to trust being so far from him (he lives an hour away). I know he loves me, he says he wants to marry me but we aren't obedient to God and although I am in charge of my own actions he does influence me a lot. On top of all that he doesn’t have his priorities straight, instead of paying off his bills he wants to put more money into his car. I wish he was more concerned about his career and his walk with God than tattoos and his car. I love him so much but I want to be with someone that loves God with all his heart. The fights we have tell me that maybe God doesn’t want us together but then again we have so much fun together. Should I stay in this relationship and trust God will help work things out or should I trust the tiny voice in my head telling me to just let go and move on?

Answer..My sweet sister in the Lord.. That tiny voice in your head is the Holy Spirit. He loves you so much. He has seen all you've gone thru in this relationship and like you said He is telling you to just let go and move on.

I would say based on everything that you have said you know what the right thing to do is. Be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He will never lead you the wrong way.

You know not everyone who says they are Christians are truly Christians. We are called to test the spirits. As Christians we are suppose have a personal relationship with Jesus, spend time with Him, read the Word, be doers of the Word, and go to church. Not because of a religion but because spending with Jesus reading the Word brings us knowledge and wisdom. This is how we become prepared for helping others and we become equipped to live a successful Christian life. We go to church because we need to be around other believers. Not only because they share the same faith, but because we need accountability. We need other strong believers to help us become strong too.

With all that being said..if the man you love is not doing the things above and claims to be a Christian..then he probably is not. God does not want us to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. He wants us to be with True Christians that love and serve Him.

Don't be lead by your emotions. Be lead by the Spirit of God. He knows what is best for you and has already put in your spirit what you should do. He will help you heal from this relationship. Trust me..the hurt won't last forever.

When you get a chance go to this link...

http://www.seekgod.org/bible/spiritguides.html

There are many scriptures there on the Guidance of the Holy Spirit...read them and be encouraged.

In Christ Love,

Trophy of Grace

Have a question or topic idea?

Read Scriptures by Subject

Read our counselors' testimonies