Tainted Love

Written By: Daughter of The King

Imagine being in a relationship with a man that tells you that he loves you with all his heart, that your are the most important thing in the world to him and that he is committed to spending the rest of his life with you, sounds like pure love, right? Now imagine that the relationship started off great but now that same man barely calls you, and when he does he only talks to you for a couple of minutes and then he rushes off somewhere. Imagine that instead of spending time with you he rather wash and wax his car or play video games with his friends. Imagine that when he does finally takes you out you notice that he’s checking out other women. Then to top it all off he never listens to you or respects your opinion, does this still sound like pure love to you? I’m sure it doesn’t; it sounds like a love that has been tainted (polluted) with selfishness and disrespect.

Now think about your relationship with God, is it tainted? Do you spend time with Him everyday or do you spend most of your time hanging with the girls or getting your hair and nails done? When you read His Word do you believe it, trust it and do what it says or do you pick and choose what you’re going to believe and then live your life anyway you want? You can’t say your relationship with God is pure if you are letting worldly things such as sex and vanity into your life; anything that we put before God becomes an idol, anything.

The good new is that God’s love for us is the purest love imaginable; the bible tells us that God is love (I John 4:16), that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:39), it tells us that His love is everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3) and my favorite is Ephesians 5:1 (MSG) were it uses the word extravagant to describe how God loves us.

Ephesians 5:1
… Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us…

An extravagant love is a love that exceeds the bounds of reason, a love that goes beyond what is deserved or justifiable, it’s unrestrained, fantastic, wild and reckless; God loves you like that. He wants to spend so much time with you that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for your sin so that you can spend eternity with Him in heaven. WOW! That’s pure love.

So, does God expect you to love Him like He loves you? No, He knows we can’t love like that, only He can. To demonstrate our love for him He only wants two things from us – the first one is time.
He wants to talk with you everyday, He wants you to get to know Him intimately through prayer and reading your bible. The second thing He wants is obedience, in John 14:15 Jesus says, "If you love me, you will obey what I command.” When Jesus said this He was being very direct. He didn’t want anyone to misunderstand Him, He said it plain and simple; “if you love me, you will do what I command”. That’s why He wants you to spend time reading His word, because you have to know what His commands are before you can be obedient and follow them.

Jesus’ death on the cross shows us the extravagance of His love; now let our obedience show him ours

Psalm 119:137-144 (MSG)

You are right and you do right, GOD;
your decisions are right on target.
You rightly instruct us in how to live
ever faithful to you…
I'm too young to be important,
but I don't forget what you tell me…
The way you tell me to live is always right;
help me understand it so I can live to the fullest.

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Girls Gone Mild

Written By: Daughter of The King

I was up late one night and I was watching TV when a commercial came on for one of those “Girls Gone Wild” videos, I had heard about them but I have never seen them. Even though the commercial doesn’t show everything I was shocked at what I saw, I couldn’t believe that these beautiful young women would allow anyone to film them doing outrages things for the whole world to see. My heart broke for them because I knew that they were spiritually lost and I knew that even though they were smiling and flaunting their bodies that they lacked self-esteem and self-respect.

But you know you don’t have to be on “Girls Gone Wild” to lack self-esteem and self-respect; look in your closet, what are you wearing? Is your clothes too short, too tight or just not enough of it? What you choose to wear tells people a lot about you and did you know that it also tells people how to treat you. Look at the definitions of the words “sex object” and “sexy”

Sex Object: A person viewed as being of little interest or merit beyond the potential for providing sexual gratification.

Sexy: Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.

If you leave your house in a skimpy outfit you are telling the world “hey look at me, I’m easy, come take advantage of me” and guess what, men will look at you and that may make you feel good but the problem is that the men who will approach you and talk to you only want one thing and that thing is your body. They don’t care about your personality, they don’t care about your mind they don’t care about you; the only thing they care about is getting some sex and you happen to look like an easy target. You might think that you like to dress sexy but your not easy, so I want to ask you why dress like something your not because what you’re doing is sending men mixed signals.

If you are a Christian woman you have to remember that you must honor God with your body that means anything you put in it or on it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Remember that you are a daughter of God, you’re His princess; how should a princess dress? How does she walk and talk? A woman who says she’s a Christian should dress in a way not to call attention to herself but to bring attention to Christ. That does not mean your have to look frumpy and old fashioned; you can dress in a trendy or stylish fashion and still bring honor to God, it’s when we dress in a way that draws sexual attention to ourselves that we dishonor God and ourselves.

Look at what 1 Timothy 2:9 MSG says:

…I want women to get in [prayer] with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.

When we focus on the Lord and focus on serving Him we become beautiful on the inside and on the outside and believe me this kind of beauty gets noticed but only by men who are looking for someone to love for a lifetime, someone to have a family with, someone he could be proud to call his wife.

God expects us to be leaders in this world and not followers, so when everyone else is losing their dignity and self respect “going wild”, we who are God’s princess’ are to be beautiful and dignified women who don’t have to “go wild” to get noticed.


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Divide and Conquer

Written by: Daughter of The King

Marriage is a wonderful thing but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. I’ve been married almost ten years to the funniest, nicest, gentle Christian man I have ever met but it’s still challenging at times because no matter how great he is he’s not perfect and I’m not perfect. Occasionally we make mistakes; we may hurt each others feeling or maybe one of us feels taken for granted but no matter what may temporally divide us there is something much more powerful that brings us back together and that’s our faith.

In John 10:10 the Bible tells us that satan has come to destroy mankind; what better way to do that than to destroy families. Satan knows that when he destroys one marriage he’s destroyed a few people in one shot and what’s the easiest way to destroy a marriage? Cause a division. Satan knows how to find your marriage’s weak spot and when he does he goes to work on it and if you both aren’t rooted and firm in the same faith it’s only a matter of time before he’s got you beat and you find yourself in divorce court.

Marriage is hard and believe me even in the best marriages there is plenty to fight about; couples fight about finances, schedules, chores, how to raise the kids and the list goes on and on. Now imagine marrying someone outside your faith or of no faith at all and adding to that already long list fights more arguments about things like:

Expectations - You may discover yourselves expecting too much of your interfaith relationship because you have the expectation that your love for one another can overcome all obstacles but over time your start to see the cracks forming in your marriage.

Children/Baptism – You and your husband may have definite opinions about baptizing your children, for Catholics it’s something you must do, protestants/evangelicals are completely opposed to that. The Islamic religion requires that children of mixed marriages be raised as Muslims.

Religious Identity – What happens when your children are old enough to ask questions about God and mom and dad give them different answers? What kind of religious identity can they form?

The Bible warns us about this in 2 Corinthians 6:14, I like the way The Message version of the Bible states it:

“Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war.”

Those are pretty strong words but I know that they are true for two reasons; the first is that the Bible is the absolute true word of God and the second reason is that I personally experienced it. I’m currently in my second marriage; I was first married to a man of the Greek Orthodox faith. Even though I was raised as an evangelical Christian I thought that we could work it out, I tried to justify it by saying things like “we are both Christians just two different types of Christians”. But the truth is that the problems began as soon as we got engaged, when we were selecting the church to get married in my fiancé and his family put so much pressure on me to get married in the Greek Orthodox Church that I caved in. Then our first child was born and as an evangelical Christian I had no intention on baptizing my baby but instead I wanted to have a service to dedicate him to the Lord. Well, here came the pressure again from my in-laws to have him baptized because they believe that if you don’t baptize the baby and God forbid something happens to him that he would go to purgatory or maybe even hell. I don’t believe that at all so I asked them to show me were in the Bible does it say to baptize babies and were in the bible does it talk about purgatory, they couldn’t find it in the Bible so they told me that it was church tradition. I don’t follow church tradition I follow the Word of God but because of all the arguing and fighting I caved in again and let them baptize him. Are you starting to see a pattern? I continuously had to give in and turn my back on what I knew to be true just to keep the peace in my family, the Bible calls that being double minded and look at what it says about double minded people:

James 1:8 (NIV) “…a double-minded man is unstable in all he does.”
I was unstable, my marriage was unstable, my children were unstable; Satan saw this and he moved right in and toppled the whole thing over. There were other things that contributed to the divorce but I know that if I had married someone of my faith the marriage would have been more stable and we would’ve had a much better chance at making it work.

If you are contemplating marrying someone of a different faith and he believes in things like infant baptism, purgatory or anything else that you don’t agree with you have to wonder who’s right and who’s wrong. The only way to answer that is for the two of you to pray together and ask God to reveal the truth to you in his word; open the Bible and compare what you believe to the scriptures, I know that God will lead you to the truth.

Once you have found the truth the two of you can go into a marriage that is united and strong in one true faith that can resist satan’s plan to divide and conquer.

What Is Truth?

Written by: Daughter of The King

Recently I was at a Christian concert for teens handing out brochures; these brochures contained biblically accurate information and advice for Christian teens about some of the tough issues they face today, issues like abortion, sex, pornography and homosexuality.

For the most part I had a great time sharing this information with many teens and young adults, they were very grateful that we took the time to answer their questions. But then a group of girls came along and they picked up some of our brochures and after reading them one of the girls said that she didn’t agree with me, so I asked her what was it that she didn’t agree with. She replied that she didn’t agree that abortion was wrong, I told her that the fact that abortion is wrong (a sin) is not my opinion but God’s opinion and really the only opinion that matters is not mine or yours but HIS. I reminded her that through out the Bible God tells us that HE creates all life and all life is sacred, then I asked her “Are you a Christian?” “Are you saved?” what she said next surprised me; she said, “Yes, I’m a Christian but I don’t believe everything that’s in the Bible”.

I want you to answer a question honestly, are you like that? Are you the type Christian that picks and chooses what they are going to believe in the Bible? If you come across something that goes against how you “feel” or what you “want” to believe to be true do you just decide not to believe it? Often times we want to believe something simply because believing it makes us happy or comfortable but shouldn’t we want to believe things only if their true?

Is there an absolute truth? Or is truth relative? Like in the case of abortion (or any other issue) is it wrong (sin) but if the girl was still in High School and she wanted to go to college (or any other excuse) then it would be okay? Or is it just wrong all the time? Or what about sex; yes it’s a sin to have sex outside of marriage but we really “love” each other and there can’t be anything wrong with that right? Wrong.


Do you know why God sent Jesus to earth? Yes, he sent him to die for our sins but there was also another reason; In John 18:37 Jesus is asked by Pilate “are you a king?” Jesus responds, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." Wow! God knew that we would be confused by the different messages we are getting so he sent Jesus to confirm the facts for us so that we can without a shadow of a doubt know what is true (right).

I’m sure some of you out there might have received some advice from weused2bu and maybe you did not like the response and you thought to yourself “well, that’s just her opinion” but I know that with every response there is a scripture reference so if you look up the scripture you can know for sure what is true. The bottom line is this: if you trust the Bible enough to come to the belief that you need Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior to enter Heaven then why wouldn’t you believe everything else it says? Jesus said “everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

Whom are you listening to?

Waiting, Dating & Mating

Written by: Daughter of The King

Have you ever wondered who invented dating? It’s such a common thing now a days that it seems like everyone is dating and those who are not are dying to start. That got me wondering about the purpose of dating, so as a Christian woman I went to the Bible to see what it had to say about dating, do you know what I found? NOTHING!

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage but not on dating. We think that dating is something that has always existed but it is an invention of the 20th century. The real purpose of dating is to help us select our future husband, back in Bible times you did not select your husband, your father did that for you. Now personally I’m glad our parents don’t chose our husband for us anymore but on the other hand dating the way its done today has gotten out of hand.

The problem is that dating has shifted from something we do to find our future husband to something we do just for fun and now the age at which girls start dating is getting younger and younger. And how about the actual date; back in the day when you were dating a guy he would take you on a picnic or to a carnival, he would buy you flowers, stuffed animal and maybe even write you a poem or love letters. It saddens me when girls tell me that guys don’t do those things anymore. There are two reasons why they don’t. The first reason is that since we’re starting to date so young they simply don’t have the money or skill to do them. The second reason is that they don’t have to; since it’s so easy to get a girl to out with you, make out with you, and maybe even have sex with you why would you bother spending money on flowers?

So, here’s what I’m suggesting ladies; take it slow. What’s the rush? You have a long life ahead of you and if you would just wait until the right time to do things you would enjoy them much more.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-5 says”There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain…”

Get the idea? If you’re no where near ready for marriage this is your time to wait but while you’re waiting you should be thinking about what kind of man you need your husband to be, do you want a man that is faithful? Respectful? Honest? Funny?

During this waiting time you should also be working on your own character, do you possess the qualities that you’re looking for? Also, the waiting period is a great time to get out there and have some fun with your group of friends; observe the guys, scope out who can potentially be a good boyfriend in the future.

The time for dating is when you think marriage could be in your near future (and 10 years is not the near future). I looked up “dating” in the dictionary and this is what it said “to make a date with; go out on dates with” well, it simply means to make an appointment with someone and that doesn’t sound very romantic me.

But, back in the day “dating” used to be called “courting” and that means “To try to gain the love or affection of someone, to seek to marry” isn’t that definition much more romantic? Another word that was used in the past for “dating” is “wooing” it means “to seek to achieve the affection of someone with the intent to romance” the way we date today robs us of good old fashioned romance and what girl doesn’t want to be romanced?

If you rather be courted or wooed instead of just dating there are a couple of things you can do. First don’t start dating too young and second don’t give yourself away. If a guy has access to your body (making out or any type of sex) romance goes out the window because there’s nothing left for him to achieve. But when you don’t give yourself away the right guy, a godly guy will respect and love you more then he will seek to earn your affection and that’s when the romance comes in.

The time for mating (having sex) is when you are married; ALL forms of sex should be kept out of dating and saved for marriage only. That’s what God commands and what’s best for us; sex outside of marriage clouds our judgment, burdens us with emotional baggage and can lead to unnecessary hardships like an STD or an unplanned pregnancy. God created sex to be sacred and when we do it his way (in marriage) it will be amazing!

Ladies, decide you’re worth waiting for; don’t’ get swept up in the dating craze
and don’t let past mistakes keep you from making a fresh start. You can do it!

Love Potion #O

Written by: Daughter of The King

Weused2bu gets a lot of questions about relationship and that’s understandable because God created us to be relational beings. Of course he wants our relationship to Him to be first and foremost in our lives but he also wants us to have healthy fulfilling relationships with others especially our lifelong spouse. I have read the great responses you received to your relationship questions yet I know that some of you are having a hard time following the advice that has been given to you, especially if the advice was “cut him loose”. Do you wonder why it is so hard to let someone go who is bad for you? Do you wonder why women who are abused keep going back to their abuser? Besides the obvious answer that it is because of sin and/or rebellion there’s another explanation and it’s called Oxytocin.

Before I explain what Oxytocin is and what it does lets see what God says about male and female relationships:

Note: The Bible does not talk about dating only marriage. We think that dating is something that has always existed but it is an invention of the 20th century. The real purpose of dating is to help us select our future husband, back in Bible times you did not select your husband, your father did that for you. I’m going to write more about dating in a future article.

Matthew 19: 4-6 (The Message)
He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one…

Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Look at the words I’ve underlined; if you looked them up in the dictionary this is what you would find:

Bonded – To join securely, as with glue or cement.
Cleave – To adhere closely, to stay attached.

Isn’t that beautiful? God intended us to get married and bond with our husband in such a way that it would be as if we were just one-person super glued together. That’s where the Oxytocin comes in.

Oxytocin is a hormone that is released by the female brain during three very special events in a woman’s life: sexual activity, giving birth, and breastfeeding.
Scientist have studied this hormone and they have found that it causes women to emotionally bond to their sexual partner and to their babies, scientist have nicknamed it “the super glue hormone”; now that’s great news because that is exactly what God intended if the sexual partner is your husband. But if he’s not now you have a problem because you’re not just bonded to a man that is not committed to you but you also trust him because Oxytocin causes us to bond and trust the person we are sexually involved with.

Ladies let me sum this up; if you are sexually involved with a guy that you are dating you are making a big mistake (not to mention breaking God’s law) because this guy may be bad for you. He may be messing with drugs and other women or he may be mistreating you and you know you should let him go but you can’t and you think that you can’t because you love him but that’s not the case you’re just emotionally bonded to him, not in love. God intended this to happen but with your husband, in marriage only not in a dating relationship when you’re just getting to know the person.

So if you’re in a relationship that is not good for you (emotionally, spiritually or physically) realize that it’s the hormones in your brain telling you not to let go of him, not your heart. Remember you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13) and cut him loose.

Who Are You Really?

Written by Daughter of The King

Let me start by telling you who I am. I’m a princess, I’m beautiful, I’m the apple of my father’s eye and I’m his cherished treasure.

Before you start thinking I have a big ego let me explain.
When I was a little girl I had a verbally abusive father, he called me every name in the book. By the time I was a teenager I felt worthless because I believed every hurtful word he said to me. Believing my father’s lies led me to make some poor choices and along with those choices came some painful consequences.

It took me a long time to realize that I was listening to the wrong father; maybe you have been too. If we look to our heavenly father for our identity this is what he tells us:

All verses taken from The Message version of the bible.

He shaped us in our mother’s womb, and we are marvelous inside and out! – Psalm 139: 13,14

We are His cherished treasure – Deut. 7:16

He thinks we’re beautiful – Song of Solomon 1:15

We are His child (daughter) – Romans 8:16

The bible even tells us that we are “the apple of His eye…” Zech. 2:8

Ladies don’t spend another minute believing the put downs from those around you. Now, repeat after me: I’m beautiful, I’m the apple of my father’s eye, I’m his cherished treasure and I’m a princess because I am a daughter of the Almighty King.