Monday, February 16, 2009

Didi's Story


Being an only child can do strange things to you, believe me, I know. It sometimes makes you think you're the princess the world revolves around, and other times it leaves you feeling completely alone in the world. When I was young, I prayed for a sibling, and when I was 10, I got the chance I'd always wanted. My mom was pregnant! When my brother was born, I was ecstatic. But only a few hours after he was born the doctors noticed something was wrong. He was born with a hole in his tiny heart. He died two short weeks later, and my life has never been the same.

My parents soon divorced. And my mother spiraled into depression, abusive relationships and drug abuse. But something miraculous happened to me in the midst of it all. A friend invited me to a weekend conference with the kids from her church. I didn't care much for church because I was afraid the other kids wouldn't accept me, but I had a crush on my friend's cousin, and he was going. Needless to say, I signed up! On that trip I found out that Christians could have fun! But, more importantly, I saw that Jesus wanted to be intimately involved in my life for the first time. I thought Jesus was more of a religious figure from history than a Savior and revolutionary. I knew he preached about peace, but I never believed there were actually consequences for my sin. After all, I thought I was a good person. I brought home a devotional they sold at the conference, and one night I accepted Jesus Christ in the quiet of my room, by myself. I prayed, "Jesus, if you're real like the Bible says you are, I want You to be in my life."

My mom is still on drugs, my parents are still divorced and my brother is still gone. Although those circumstances haven't changed, my life has been transformed. I have joy and hope for the future. And, best of all, I have eternal life because Jesus conquered the grave. I used to think all good people got into heaven. But now I understand that we are sinners, and instead of doing away with the messy lot of us altogether, God gave us a way out. That way is through His Son, Jesus' death on the cross. He died to bear our sins and was raised again to give us all new life. It was hard to believe before, but God opened up my eyes to my need for Him. I thought I'd just squeak by living life however I wanted, thinking that God didn't care if I acknowledged him, that He didn't care what I did or said. I am so thankful that I learned that God truly does care about me.

Because I chose to believe in Jesus instead of my circumstances, everything about me is different. I'm not an only child. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who have been closer than a brother to me. And today, I'm 23, newly married and unpacking all the boxes in my new home. I can't wait to see what else the Lord has for me, even if it's sometimes painful, because I know He is good.

I love Joshua 1:9 where God says: "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

It turns out I was never alone all along.


- Didi Zayas