My Friend Might Be Pregnant..How Do I Help Her

Anonymous said...

Hi, I love the advice y'all give, and I'm coming back for more! You may remember that my friend was involved in some pretty risky stuff. Maybe you don't remember! Haha. Anyway, my best friend and I are really close and we tell each other EVERYTHING. But lately, ever since she and her boyfriend went too far she hasn't really been talking to me as much. I know what she and her boyfriend is doing has gone on multiple times, and I'm afraid that she'll wind up pregnant. What's worse is my fear that she may already be, and it scares me. I know that the guy will leave her if she gets pregnant, and her parents wouldn't be very supportive if she did, and she would most likely get an abortion if she did get pregnant. So my questions are:1. If she's not pregnant, how do I talk to her about what she's doing?2. If she is pregnant/does get pregnant, how do I talk to her about it?3. And, how do I help her through whatever decision she makes, regardless of whether or not she's pregnant?

Daughter of The King said...

There are a lot of excellent articles and questions posted on our site that relate to sex outside of marriage. I suggest that you read up on the topic and pray before you speak to your friend; maybe you can print them out for her so she can read them on her own. Tell her that you care about her and that you know that what she is doing is only going to hurt her and you don't want to see her end up a mess.

If she is pregnant she's going to need a good friend to help her through the tough times. You can help influence her to choose life for her baby by letting her know that you will be there for her; you can share some simple facts about the baby in her womb, facts like:

- A baby hearts starts beating at 21 days after conception; that means that by the time she misses her first period there's a good chance her baby has a beating heart.

-At 6 weeks after conception the baby already has brain activity.

-At 8 weeks after conception (only 2 months) the stomach, liver, kidneys, and brain are functioning . At this point everything is already present that would be found in a person that is already born; The baby even has fingerprints!

-At 12 week (3months) the baby is the size of your thumb.

Sharing those facts with your friend may help her see the baby as a real person and not just some blob that she can get rid of. If she is pregnant I recommend that you take her to a pregnancy resource center; that's a place that will counsel your friend on the consequences of abortion. They will encourage her to choose life and many times they can help her with any needs she may have. You can find a pregnancy resource center near you by calling this toll free number 1-800-395-HELP (4357). All the services at a pregnancy resource center are free and confidential. I know that you are worried about your friend and you want to help her but please if your friend rejects your advice and decides to get an abortion do not support her in that decision; if you do you will be as guilty as she is for the murder of that baby. Do not go with her to the abortion clinic and do not lend her money for it; tell her that you care too much for her to help her do something so sinful and devastating to herself.

What I'm going to tell you next is going to be tough because I can tell that you care deeply about your friend but If she decides to continue with her destructive and sinful behavior you have to decide what kind of friend you're going to be. Are you going to be the kind of friend that just accepts what she does and just goes along with it? If you do that you are actually helping her sin. Or are you going to be the friend that says "Hey, I really care about you but I can't hang around with you and watch you hurt yourself. When you're ready for some changes let me know and I'll be here for you". I know that would be hard to do especially when you really care about someone but sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is walk away, keep her in prayer and leave her in the Lord's hands.

Sincerely,

Daughter of The King

He No Longer Wants To Be There For The Birth Of His Son

T. Marshall said...
The father of my child is no longer in the picture. Although he was the one who told me he was ready to have children and wanted to have them with me, I found out the hard way that that wasn't true. I've been having complications in my pregnancy and was finally put on bed rest until I go into labor. Even though my son's father isn't in the picture, I still have contact with him. When I let him know about the complications and the bed rest he told me that it was best for him if I didn't contact him until the baby is here on earth. Meaning, to me, that he no longer wanted to be there for the birth of his son. I'm getting to the point where I am just lost. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling any emotion toward him at all. I want to be civial but he makes it so hard. Should I call from the hospital before labor (and give him one last chance to be there)? Should I call him after? Or should I just wait until we go to court for child support? Bottomline, I just don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin my experience welcoming my son into the world if hes just going to be negative or not show up. But this is his son and I want him to be there. More so, I feel like if he had the option it would make me feel better when or if he doesn't show up. I don't want to feel like I kept him away. But I also dont want to be hurt if he lets us down for the uptenth time.

Trophy of Grace said...
I know that you are heartbroken and torn emotionally with everything that is going on in your life right now. Between the complications in your pregnancy and the feeling of abandonment that you must have because the father of your child has neglected his responsibilities, I can imagine you are overwhelmed. However, I want you to know that even though this young man has abandoned you and your unborn child that God has not abandoned you and He never will. He is always faithful to care for all of our needs emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. He is our Provider and that is where your hope must come from.

The father of your child has requested that you do not contact him until the baby is born. I think that you should respect his wishes and grant his request. Don’t force yourself or the pregnancy on him. It will only cause you more trouble and heartache for you if he continues to reject you. It’s hard not to take it personal, I know. But I think you should avoid the hurt. He will come around if he wants to and when he’s ready. I like to think it is better to be alone than in bad company. Your pregnancy does not need any extra stress. In fact if you are overly stressed the baby can feel that and you could even go into premature labor. Think about your health and the baby’s health. Cast this burden on the Lord and allow the Word of God to be the comfort and support you need during this trying to time in your life.

However, when you go into labor you could call or text him to give him another opportunity to have the privilege of being present for the birth of his son. If he chooses not to go then you must forgive him and leave him in God’s hands. He knows better how to deal with this young man. You have to focus on becoming the mom that God has intended you to be. You need to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepared to raise your son. Our children are a blessing from God and He has entrusted them to us for us to care for and love, to teach them about Him, His will, and His Word. You need to be prayed up and ready for this honorable task of being a mother. If father of your child does not want to be apart of that then it will most certainly be his lose. He will regret it one day I am sure.

You feel lost, angry, and you hate all the emotions that you feel right not toward him and about this whole situation. This is where you need to humble yourself before God and ask Him to help you to forgive him even thought he may not deserve it. Realize that forgiving him is not for him but for you. You will be held captive by hostility, a quarreling spirit, outbursts of anger, dissension, strife, bitterness, and all sorts of negative spirits and emotion if you do not forgive him. You can not allow this anger to root it’s self in your heart resulting in bitterness and hate. Remember also that during pregnancy that our emotions every because it will result in bitterness rooting its self deeply in your heart.

Instead forgive him and allow the Holy Spirit to heal your heart. Take your eyes off of what this young man isn’t doing in your life or in his son’s life and put your eyes on Jesus. Focus on having an intimate relationship with Him and you will see that you will have everything you need to handle every situation in your life. It all starts with truly submitting your will, your ways, your emotions, EVERYTHING to Jesus Christ. Then you will know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter happens to you and no matter what comes against you that it will be all good because God is for you.

Here are some scriptures to meditate on:

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6: 14

Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! Matthew 18: 21-22

So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Matthew 18: 35

Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. Colossians 3: 13

Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my [sad] countenance, and my God. Psalm 43: 5


Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23

Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it [fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you]. 1 Thessalonians 5: 24

A Book That Gives Advice On Raising Children

Anonymous said...

I need some help. I'm 22 years old and just returned from working abroad. I was in a relationship with a man while I was away, and got myself pregnant. When I told him this, he didn't want any part of the whole thing. My parents are being very understanding, and even trying to give me books on parenting. The ones on single parenting they have found for me are all referring to divorce, death,or other ways the parents separated but are both in the child's life. I'm trying to find a book, that is not for teenagers, that will give advice on raising a child on your own when the father is never going to be there for the child.

Trophy of Grace responds...

I know the perfect book! It is the best book in the whole entire world. This book will give you all the answers you need for not only raising your beautiful gift from God, but will give you directions for all areas of your life. It is the bible. The infallible Word of God.

You see the bible was inspired by God and is used to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and it teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip His people to do every good work. ( 2 Timothy 3:16-17)

I would say that being a parent is a good work. Wouldn’t you?

For me this is my source of wisdom and direction. It has never failed me. You see the Word of God is true and does not lie. It is full of life and hope.

Hebrews 4:12:”For the word of God is quick [alive], and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Romans 15:13
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

The bible will teach you to how raise your children, manage your money, about friendship and loving others, marriage, fear, worry, confusion, forgiveness, anger, prayer, enemies, how to be more than a conqueror, and so much more. The most important thing the bible teaches is about having a restored relationship with God through confessing our sins and total faith in Jesus Christ for salvation.

I would suggest that you start reading the book of John first along with a chapter of Proverbs a day.

In the mean time here are some scriptures on raising children:

Proverbs - Chapter 22:6
6. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Psalm - Chapter 127:3
3. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

Proverbs - Chapter 4:1-17
1. Listen , my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.2. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. 3. When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother,4. he taught me and said, Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.5. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.6. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.7. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. 8. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.9. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor.10. Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.11. I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.12. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.13. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.14. Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.15. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. 16. For they cannot sleep till they do evil; they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.17. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.18. The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

Proverbs - Chapter 6:20-23
20. My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's teaching.21. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck.22. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you.23. For these commands and this teaching are a lamp to light the way ahead of you. The correction of discipline is the way of life.

Proverbs - Chapter 2:1-6
1. My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,2. turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,3. and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4. and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,5. then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.6. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Proverbs - Chapter 3:1-12
1. My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,2. for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.3. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.4. then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.5. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;6. in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.7. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. 8. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. 9. Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; 10. then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. 11. My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke,12. because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Mark - Chapter 10:13-14
13. People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.14. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Ephesians - Chapter 6:1-4
1.Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2. "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise-3."that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Colossians - Chapter 3:20
20. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Love Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

I'm Pregnant and He Left Me

Emailer: Wow I was really touched when I read your story im a single mother myself my boyfriend recently left me an im pregnant with our second child I know GOD is the only one that can help me through this trial but its soo hard to see that theres hope for me to make it through alone. My kids mean everything to me I know GOD has a better plan for us but its soo hard to see that when soo much is bringing me down.

Saved By Faith’s Response: When faced with these circumstances, it's so easy to see how hard it will be or how much suffering we have faced. But that is exactly when we have to step out on faith, praise God for giving you strength and be reassured that you WILL make it through because God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

I have to be honest with you, being a single parent is very difficult. I left my ex almost 8 years ago. I would love to tell you that it's a piece of cake but I'd be lying. You will have your ups and downs... and so will the kids. For years my kids asked why he and I weren't together anymore. One thing for us is that he chose not to support his children emotionally or financially... I was on my own 100%. I thought it was going to be horrible but when I saw my children smiling more everyday; when I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders; I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

You're right, know that GOD can help you through this trial.
God does give us hope and that will get you and your children through the adjustment time.

James 1:12 assures us “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

Be strong, pray everyday, and we will pray for you as well.

If you ever want to talk, please feel free... I'm only an email away.

Love,

Saved By Faith

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Emailer Replies: THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS AN WRITIN BACK IM JUST GOING TO LEAVE MY LIFE AN DECISIONS IN GOD HANDS AN JUST KEEP MY FAITH IN HIM AN HOPE FOR THE BEST AN IM GLAD TO HEAR THAT GOD HAS HELPED U IT LETS ME SEE THAT THERE IS HOPE FOR ME TOO!

I Just Want to Love My Family

A Friend Wrote… So i am twenty years old and married for four months. We are pregnant with our first child. But since we have been married we have not been able to live alone. If its not my family its his and i have to big of a heart to send anyone away. My cousin has a baby and is only sixteen her mom is in jail and she has been in and out of foster care her whole life. My husbands sister got kicked out of her house and also has a baby and has no where to go. I live off of a small income and my husband has been having trouble finding work. If i do right by my new familys needs and clear everyone out am i being selfish. I realy dnt know wat to do but realy need to provide a good home for my baby. Please pray for me and give me some guidence on wat to do. Sencerly mommy and baby on the way

Saved By Faith… I’d like to begin by congratulating you and your husband on the blessings of a child!! Family is one of the biggest blessings in a marriage, and a new addition is proof of this…

Genesis 33:5; 49:25
Psalms 113:9; 127:3-5; 128:3
Proverbs 17:6
Luke 1:42
1 Timothy 5:14

In regards to your cousin and sister-in-law… Being a household that others rely on can bare a heavy burden. In a sense, you have 4 other people you are responsible for, aside from you, your husband & your unborn child. Considering both of these young women (as they aren’t children due to their decision to become mothers) has a responsibility towards their child, they should take steps towards providing for them accordingly.

Your first priority is your family and if you can’t provide well enough for you, your husband & child, how does anyone expect you to help them?

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not care for his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Even at sixteen your cousin in considered an emancipated adult and can seek state assistance in food and housing. Encourage them to begin seeking other arrangements.

You’re at the beginning and vital stages of your marriage. You’re building the foundation of your marriage and this is a time where the two of you need intimate time together and that’s being hindered by others in the house. You need each other right now. In the United States, roughly 20% of first marriages end within the first 5 years. This time is detrimental to your relationship!! Take this time to build a strong foundation for a lifetime partnership. The long-term success of your marriage heavily depends on how well you and your husband make the adjustment during the first five years.

Don’t feel guilty about wanting to put your family first!! This is an important time in your lives, especially with a baby on the way. You don’t need the added stress.

I will pray that the Lord gives you the loving words you need to speak to them. I pray that they both find resolution and are able to provide for their family as you are trying to provide for yours.

Please keep us posted.

With Love,

Saved By Faith


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My Period Is Almost 3 Weeks Late

Anonymous said...

My period is almost 3 weeks late. I have taken about 5 at home pregnacy test, but they have all came out negative. Could I still be pregnant? I havent taken a pregnacy test in about 5 days. Should I take another one? I have talked to my boyfriend about this and he is ok with the fact that I may be pregnant. We just both want to know if I am or not!! But I don't have the insurance or the money to go to the doctor. What should we do?

Trophy of Grace said...

I would definitely say that you should go to the doctor to have blood work done. I realize that you do not have insurance or money to go but this is important. If you are pregnant than you and your growing baby need proper medical care. Most cities have a free clinic that will help you. You can also contact your local welfare office or go online and google how to apply for Medicaid in your state. I know in our state if you are low income they will provide Medicaid for you during your pregnancy. They even pay for the delivery of the baby and your 6 week check up afterwards. Don’t hesitate seek out this help in your state. If you have trouble let us know and we will try to help you. We just need to know your city and state. You can email us privately at weused2bu@hotmail.com.

I am sure that you have considered that bringing a child into this world is a very serious responsibility. Your entire life changes forever. You will need God’s guidance now more than ever. Let Him guide you and lead you down the best path for your life. His will is always better than our own will.

“Trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I am the mother of seven. Trust me when I tell that you need to have God’s strength, wisdom, and understanding if you want to be a godly mother. When we teach our children to love the Lord they will learn from young that they were born with a purpose and they will desire to fulfill God’s will for their life. We will be praying for you.

Please keep us posted. God bless you.

Trophy of Grace

PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE

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Christian Teen Help Resources

Below is a resource list. We pray that you will find the missing piece of the puzzle that can help you. May God guide you to the right one for you.






Homeless Shelter

PurposeDriveCamp

TroubledTeensGuide.com
Drug Rehabs
Drugs-Advice,Help, & Counseling
Family Compass
Alateen
Addressing Homosexual Issues
Abortion






If you know of any other Christian teen help resources please post a comment here and we will review and add to our list.