A Test Of Faith-Carrie Prejean

Written By Beloved By Him

The Miss USA pageant was in its final event as Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009, faced the judges and prepared herself for her question on Saturday night. But did she have any idea that she was actually entering into a spiritual battle of great significance? The judge who presented the question, Perez Hilton, asked her if she thought that all the United States should follow Vermont’s example and legalize homosexual marriage. In response, while she did say that she was proud to live in a country that supported freedom of choice, she went on to assert that she believes that marriage should be between a man and woman, and that was the standard by which she was raised. The crowd roared, whether in support or disagreement, and Carrie, who seemed to be the front-runner, lost the competition and became first runner-up, partially due to the fact that Hilton apparently gave her a score of “zero” for her response. Hilton later went on to his weblog and, in an outrageous example of disrespect, called her by an obscene name and ranted against her personally. She was also criticized by people from both the Miss USA and Miss California pageants for not being supportive of gay marriage. Without question, Carrie paid a price for taking a stand for the righteousness of God.

Carrie will get much more than she paid for, however. Not just the negativity and criticism from those who hate God’s ways. Besides the outpouring of support from others who share her beliefs, and the opportunity to speak to various media sources and continue to talk about her faith, Carrie has also invested in the kingdom of God, which the Bible likens to a pearl of great price. Matthew 13 explains how her sacrifice is ultimately her reward:

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid, and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” (Matt. 13:44-46)

Carrie shared with Fox news that she believed that the Lord was testing her character and her faith. In her heart, Carrie knew that there was nothing, no title, no earthly crown, that could ever compare to her Lord and her place in His kingdom. She could have sold out her beliefs and given a more politically correct answer, and maybe she would have gone on to win. But as she told Matt Lauer on the Today show the following Tuesday morning, then she wouldn’t be there with him. She knows that she has been given an opportunity by her testimony to show that God, and her faith in Him, is more important to her than anything she might temporarily gain here on earth.

On a platform that was viewed by millions of people, Carrie Prejean showed the world an example of a woman who is beautiful not just because she is pretty and poised, but because she is strong and fearless, gentle and wise. She may be attacked by those who would see God’s laws trampled underfoot, but their words will not stand—His will. Instead, because of God’s faithfulness to use for good what the enemy means for harm, Carrie and her testimony are like the kingdom she represents—a priceless pearl.

“All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Is. 40:6-8)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Beloved By Him

Read more articles written by Beloved By Him

Beloved by Him's Testimony

Hello, I’m Aimee, also known as Beloved by Him. I chose this pseudonym for several reasons: Because my name means “beloved”, because my husband and I are each other’s beloved, and because God works in and through me to bring the counsel of His word to other people--He‘s the real author of my work. But it took the first thirty years of my life for me to really surrender to God, and another six to finally put feet to my faith. Now I’m 37, and I am still amazed at how faithful He is to love and bless me regardless of the mistakes in my past, present, or future. He knows everything about me, and loves me anyway!

That’s a real miracle, considering the person I used to be. I was emotionally scarred by my natural father, who abused drugs, alcohol, my mother, me, and other members of my family. After he and my mother divorced when I was six, I spent years going back and forth between two extremes: Living with my mother and stepfather, with very little money and under very strict rules and discipline, and visiting my father, who was loaded, both financially and with drugs and booze. When we were at his house, I was a parent to my brothers as he partied first with my stepmother, and once she left him because of the abuse, a line of women who took her place. His abuse got worse, and by the time the court stepped in to order supervised visitation, the damage was done. The last time I spoke to my father, I was nineteen and pregnant, and I knew that he could never be around my child.

I had already been abusing alcohol and pot for years by that time. Much of my last two years of high school were spent partying, sneaking out, and fighting constantly with my parents. The day after I graduated, I moved out of my home and into a friend’s house, where they lived a drugging lifestyle. I spent the next several months living off my friends, until one day, I met the man who would become my husband and the father of my children. The Lord in His great grace pulled me out of where I was living, put me with this good man, and eventually brought us both to Himself--me as I recommitted my life (I had gotten saved when I was seven), and him for the first time. I had my second child at 20, a third at 24, and things improved, except that I never truly confessed to the Lord or shared with my husband many of my past sins, or that I was still consumed with the bulimia that had begun for me in middle school. Instead of those behaviors and mindsets just going away, they began to control my life, and by the time I was 30, I had thrown my marriage, and my life, away. After suffering a nervous breakdown, I had to truly repent and cry out to God to save me, and then choose to cling to Him and His plan for my life. The only other alternative was to let myself die. Praise Jesus, I chose life. I remember the night I was on my knees, in His presence, and said, “Ok, God, I’ll do it your way.” It was the best decision I ever made.

Coming out of that dark time was not easy. I spent months in what I call my “harvest of horrors”, as years of denied behavior surfaced and had to be confessed and repented of. During that time, the Lord truly gave my husband “amazing grace” and mercy for me, as he forgave me and allowed the Lord to redeem our marriage. In the years since, I have watched as God has made our marriage into something more special than I ever could have hoped to be a part of. Through Jesus Christ, we as a couple have “become as a wonder to many” (Ps. 71:7), and He continues to draw us closer to Him and to each other. We attend Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, which is a great place for us, because of our different backgrounds (I was raised Presbyterian and then charismatic, and he is a Messianic Jew.) I also have a wonderful stepfather with an incredible testimony and an amazing walk with the Lord, and a huge extended family that I love dearly.

My life is blessed, but it’s not perfect. I had a second bout with depression, and I still struggle with anxiety. I am filled with the Word, but my flesh seems to revel in trying to make me ineffective by attacking me with doubt, shame, and fear. But I stand firmly on the Rock of my life, Jesus Christ. He is my salvation, my fortress, my strong tower, and His banner over me is love. I am still learning to believe and trust in that love, which “for the joy set before Him, (He) endured the cross, despising the shame” (Heb. 12:2), so that He could forgive my sins and spend eternity with me. There is nothing more I could ever ask for Him to do to prove to me that I am Beloved by Him.

“But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by Whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14


Feel free to message me with any questions or advice that you would like.

Didi's Story

Being an only child can do strange things to you, believe me, I know. It sometimes makes you think you're the princess the world revolves around, and other times it leaves you feeling completely alone in the world. When I was young, I prayed for a sibling, and when I was 10, I got the chance I'd always wanted. My mom was pregnant! When my brother was born, I was ecstatic. But only a few hours after he was born the doctors noticed something was wrong. He was born with a hole in his tiny heart. He died two short weeks later, and my life has never been the same.

My parents soon divorced. And my mother spiraled into depression, abusive relationships and drug abuse. But something miraculous happened to me in the midst of it all. A friend invited me to a weekend conference with the kids from her church. I didn't care much for church because I was afraid the other kids wouldn't accept me, but I had a crush on my friend's cousin, and he was going. Needless to say, I signed up! On that trip I found out that Christians could have fun! But, more importantly, I saw that Jesus wanted to be intimately involved in my life for the first time. I thought Jesus was more of a religious figure from history than a Savior and revolutionary. I knew he preached about peace, but I never believed there were actually consequences for my sin. After all, I thought I was a good person. I brought home a devotional they sold at the conference, and one night I accepted Jesus Christ in the quiet of my room, by myself. I prayed, "Jesus, if you're real like the Bible says you are, I want You to be in my life."

My mom is still on drugs, my parents are still divorced and my brother is still gone. Although those circumstances haven't changed, my life has been transformed. I have joy and hope for the future. And, best of all, I have eternal life because Jesus conquered the grave. I used to think all good people got into heaven. But now I understand that we are sinners, and instead of doing away with the messy lot of us altogether, God gave us a way out. That way is through His Son, Jesus' death on the cross. He died to bear our sins and was raised again to give us all new life. It was hard to believe before, but God opened up my eyes to my need for Him. I thought I'd just squeak by living life however I wanted, thinking that God didn't care if I acknowledged him, that He didn't care what I did or said. I am so thankful that I learned that God truly does care about me.

Because I chose to believe in Jesus instead of my circumstances, everything about me is different. I'm not an only child. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who have been closer than a brother to me. And today, I'm 23, newly married and unpacking all the boxes in my new home. I can't wait to see what else the Lord has for me, even if it's sometimes painful, because I know He is good.

I love Joshua 1:9 where God says: "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

It turns out I was never alone all along.


- Didi Zayas

Is It Alright to Tell My Testimony No Matter What It Is?

Anonymous said...

HELLOOO..I HAVE JUST ONE QUESTION TO ASK...IS IT ALRIGHT FOR ME TO TELL MY TESTIMONY NO MATTER WHAT IT IS?...YEESS OR NOOO AND WHY

Trophy of Grace replies..

Yes! You can share whatever your testimony is. We want to hear what God has done in your life.
When writing your testimony, ask the Lord to give you wisdom and guidance. Also, ask yourself:

• What was your life like before you welcomed Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?


• What were your attitudes? needs? problems?


• What was most important to you?


• Where did you look for security, peace of mind and happiness?


• How did you come to accept Christ, giving Him complete control of your life?


• When did you first hear the gospel?


• When were you first exposed to Christianity?


• What were your initial thoughts/reactions about Jesus Christ?


• When and why did you begin to feel positively about Christianity?


• What was the turning point?


• What feelings did you struggle with right before your decision?


• What happened after you trusted Christ?


• What changes did you see in your life? attitudes? actions?


• How long did it take before you noticed change?


• What does Jesus Christ mean to you now?
  

We also encourage you to read our Posting Guidelines

We look forward to hearing back from you soon. Be blessed sister.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

Lynn's Testimony

My testimony. Hmmm…let’s see. Being born into a Christian family, I grew up in the Baptist church. I sang in the youth choir (though I couldn’t sing), attended Sunday School, went to church on Wednesday and Sunday nights, though my friend and I sometimes skipped and walked down to the neighborhood drugstore until church was over.

I committed my heart and sins to the Lord in the summer of 1957 when my parents took me on vacation to New York City to attend what is now one of Billy Graham’s renowned crusades.

I married just ten days after my twentieth birthday. My hubby was a Catholic but, being dissatisfied with the way the church treated him, he became a Baptist so that we would be of the same religion and not cause confusion to any children that might come along.

We joined a mission church started by my father and one of the Baptist churches, which later built its building on property given by my grandfather. We joined when there were around 90 people.

We served in several areas and stayed there for many years as it grew. At one point, when hubby was a deacon, the church had a rift in their membership. It became too much of a burden and, when hubby had served his term, we left. We visited a few churches and finally ended up in our present church around 1989.

Okay, this is boring. So, where’s the testimony, you ask? My testimony is the other side of the coin from most other testimonies.

In between all the twists and turns and ups and downs of those years, I began to understand that I was merely a pew sitter! Though I heard the words of all the sermons and knew it all in my head, very little of it trickled down into my heart. I was a “good person” but not a “good Christian.”

With all my service, I found out that it was not my enter-heaven-free card. If heaven allows me entrance by my works, then how long does my list of works have to be?

I discovered that there is much more to living out the Christian life; it is deeper than just attending church on Wednesday or Sunday or working in the nursery or on committees.

When I disciplined myself to seek the Lord through Bible study and quiet prayer times, I learned that the world’s way cannot be my way, for the standards of the world are in opposition to the holiness of God. God has not lowered the bar of His standards nor relaxed His tolerance for sin because of the world’s beliefs.

No matter what decisions I make, whether large or small, they must be based on God’s Word, otherwise, I reap unwanted consequences and my life spins out of control.

Paul wrote to the Roman believers, “I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will accept. When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.” (Rom 12:1-2 NLT)

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2000, I learned then that God had a plan for my life and that I could be a useful vessel in His Kingdom. He placed a desire in my heart to write for Him and I have obeyed. I’ve placed my life in His hands for eternity and followed His will.

I have never regretted accepting the Lord’s salvation when I was eleven years old. But what about you? Have you said “No, thanks” to the Lord’s invitation? Or have you said “Yes” but are unsure you have a heavenly Home? Or have you accepted salvation but allowed a distance to come between you and the Lord?

The Lord is inviting you now to get your life right with Him. Be sure of your decision. Scripture says, “Now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” (2 Cor. 6:2 NKJV) “Right now God is ready to welcome you. Today He is ready to save you.” (2 Cor. 6:2 TLB) Just remember, you are only one heartbeat away from the eternal resting place of your choice.

As you trust God to work in your dark circumstances, every barrier will become an open portal, every pit will have its golden nuggets, and every hill of difficulty will become a mount of deliverance.

I pray you will know the love of God the Father and that, in giving your life to Him, you will find the peace and comfort you seek. May His will be yours for eternity. God bless you!

~~Blessings, Lynn~~

A Story of A Champion

Although this is a Christian girl site, we thought this would be a great story to share. It is a cross post from Consecrated to Him from 10/30/08.

Let me introduce you to my brother in law and brother in the Lord. He is living proof that our God is still in the business of doing miracles. After a 15 year drug addiction he has been delivered by God and is now completely sold out to Jesus. He is a JESUS FREAK!! I asked him to share his story and his experience from this weekend. I give you Mike Colon.. A story of a champion.

My name is Mike Colon and I am 30 years of age. This weekend I was blessed to have an opportunity to go into the prisons with the Bill Glass Prison Ministry WOC. Before I explain the awesome experience I had I figured I should give my testimony so you can understand just how big our God is.

My early childhood was pretty normal, grew up in a family with parents, an older brother, and a younger brother. We had a typical American Puerto Rican family. We lived in a nice home, had family vacations and grew up very close to our extended family. I was always a model student, played lots of sports and was actively involved in music in school. When I was going into the 8th grade we moved from New Jersey to Hollywood, FL and the transition really started my downward spiral. Within just a couple months of moving to Florida I was hanging with the wrong crowd, skipping school and started smoking marijuana. It was in my freshman year of high school when I just started living for the flesh.

My days started and ended with drugs, I was always late to class, grades fell and the things that were once important in my life didn’t matter anymore. It’s to no surprise that soon enough marijuana was not enough. My school was in a very “upper-class” neighborhood but that just meant drugs were easier to find. I started doing a lot of LSD and cocaine. By the time I was a junior I had gotten arrested several times and had gotten one of my girlfriends pregnant. I dropped out of high school in my senior year with 2 children and started selling drugs. I was seeking every possible fleshy way of filling the void that was empty this whole time.

From this point on in my life I was a “functioning” drug addict… I always had good jobs and even got my GED and was in college for pre-med/nursing. It wasn’t until recently that I realized even though I denied God as a young adult (I even went as far as considering myself agnostic) God always protected me. I continued on this path of destruction, always justifying my actions because I had a job and a family. In the years to follow I dropped out of college and continued living crazy. In that time I met my wife… about 8 years ago.

Our lifestyles were identical. We partied and did drugs routinely; I was a terrible boyfriend and a bad father. We had 2 beautiful daughters that I never appreciated until recently. And before I realized it I found myself deeply addicted to oxycontin and other pain killers.

In early December 2007, my older brother and his wife basically did an intervention on me and I went to a detox facility. Before entering the detox center, I was given a book called “Lose That Man and Let Him Go” by Bishop TD Jakes. This was the beginning of the end of my previous life. On my detox bed I prayed to God and asked him to help me change my life and I promised that if He did this I would dedicate my life to the Gospel.

Well, here I am! I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior on December 19, 2007 at Calvary Chapel Ft.Lauderdale and have never looked back. The addictions, the strongholds and the person I had been were instantly and miraculously gone. Our God, the Ultimate Redeemer, changed what many thought was the unchangeable… ME.

Since being born again, I’ve married my loving wife. God’s miracles didn’t just stop at me; they also impacted my wife… The change God has done in her life is just a whole other story. I’ve redeemed my relationship with my kids and I have dedicated my life to the Gospel. I am now actively involved in my Church and various ministries including the prison ministry event this past weekend.

I have to start by saying this weekend was AWESOME. I kinda expected to have a blessed weekend doing Kingdom work but never expected to be this fulfilled. This was my very first prison ministry event and I was really concerned that I wasn’t going to be ready. After praying over and over, God comforted me and explained that I didn’t need to be “prepared” I just needed to trust God and He would do the rest. Talk about a “conduit”. I truly felt God’s presence in the prison and I knew the words I spoke were the words of our heavenly Father. This experience was confirmation to me that God has a bigger plan for me and I could almost relate to the joy the Apostles must have felt leading people to know Jesus.

There were several incredible experiences I had this weekend doing Gods work but my best experience was at Dade Correctional Facility. After the guest speaker concluded his testimony he asked the inmates to take a look around to see the volunteers who were there to help talk to them about God. I noticed an inmate acting very “hardcore” just a couple feet in front of me (I mean what can we expect of these guys, they are in prison). But when he began looking around we caught eyes and to my surprise, standing in front of me was one of my best friends from middle and high school. When we caught eyes, immediately the “hardcore” image disappeared and in front of me was a very lost, broken individual, screaming for help. At this point I knew why God sent me to that particular prison, we talked for a little while and he proceeded to tell me he needed to change and he knew by my very presence that Jesus was the way. He pretty much said, “If God can change you, I know he can change me.” My heart screamed “THANK YOU JESUS!” and I was privileged to lead my once very carnal best friend to the love of our Almighty Savior, Jesus! Seeing my old friend and leading him to the Lord was incredible and took the cake!

This weekend helped me realize that we are all ministers in the Body of Christ and we are called to spread the Good News. I was able to lead a total of 16-18 once lost men to Christ this weekend and I am confident God will help them change. One of the guest speakers said this weekend we “increased the enrollment in Heaven and decreased the enrollment in hell.” The Bible says angels in heaven rejoice when just one sinner repents. Could you imagine the party in heaven this weekend… Hallelujah and thank you Jesus for this ministry. It has changed me!

Let Your Story Be Heard

As a child of God, you have a powerful story to tell. Sharing how you came to Jesus and the difference He's made in your life can help others discover how they can know God intimately.

God invites us to testify about His goodness so, please, share your testimony with WeUsed2bu. In sharing your testimony, you will bring glory to Christ:

2 Cor 5:18-20
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."

Your testimony might also be the story someone else needs to hear in order to take that leap of faith and draw near to God. It truly is the best way to present salvation to others.

When writing your testimony, ask the Lord to give you wisdom and guidance. Also, ask yourself:

What was your life like before you welcomed Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
What were your attitudes? needs? problems?
What was most important to you?
Where did you look for security, peace of mind and happiness?

How did you come to accept Christ, giving Him complete control of your life?
When did you first hear the gospel? When were you first exposed to Christianity?
What were your initial thoughts/reactions about Jesus Christ?
When and why did you begin to feel positively about Christianity?
What was the turning point?
What feelings did you struggle with right before your decision?

What happened after you trusted Christ?
What changes did you see in your life? attitudes? actions?
How long did it take before you noticed change?
What does Jesus Christ mean to you now?

Psalms 96:3
"Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all peoples."

WeUsed2bu wants to provide wisdom and encouragement using the Word of God and life experiences. Let your life story help change the lives of others.

Help show hope; inspiration; encouragement… be a light in these women’s lives.

Revelation 12:11 "And they defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die."

A WeUsed2bu Woman's Testimony-Melissa's Story

My New Year's Resolution was for me to do whatever it took to be closer to God this year. The other day I went from searching different websites to being saved last night. For some reason God brought me to your website and gave me the strength to take me out of my comfort zone and contact you. I am so blessed that he did.

I am truly blessed and grateful for you (Lisa) walking up there with me and sharing that moment with me. I admire the both of you and what you guys are doing. I was raised in a Catholic home. Although, I never understood his word I always believed in God. He has truly been my Savior throughout the years.

At 18 my father shot and killed my mother and then pulled the gun on himself. At 19 I was in an abusive relationship with a drug addict. I was beat pretty much every other day. I used to cry to God and ask why was He putting me in this type of a situation when I had lost my parents? I felt hopeless. I went from having everything to losing everything, to losing everything including my dignity.

What I didn't realize is that I had him. God was always there. For some reason I had to go thru what I went thru to become the strong woman I am today. God didn't make my life easier He made me stronger! He gave me the strength to leave that relationship in the middle of the night with 2 bags to my name and never look back. It wasn't easy having no one to turn to but Him.

I went from living house to house and having my closet in the trunk of my car. I saved up enough money and purchased my first home at the age of 21. I worked all day and went to school every night. He gave me the strength to get up every morning and accomplish everything I have. I have everything because of Him. I am truly blessed that I had Him there every step of the way. He never left me. He was next to me the whole entire time. I could have strayed but He kept me moving forward.

With everything He has given me I hadn't thanked Him until yesterday. I know in my heart I was destined to meet you guys. I want to thank you so much Lisa for giving me that courage to walk up there last night and be saved and to finally say thank you from the bottom of my heart to God. For I have everything now. I am grateful that Jesus has brought you to me. If this website was to touch one woman, well then the job has been accomplished. Thank you so much ladies! I hope we stay in contact. Keep up the good work! May God bless the both of and your families.

Love Always,
Your new sister
Melissa

Saved by Faith's Testimony

Hi, my name is Saved by Faith and I want to share my story with you. I’m a single mother of 2 children. My teenage years were filled with turmoil. At the age of 12, I met someone in my neighborhood that absolutely intrigued me. I knew he was trouble but pursued him anyway… he was always on the street, drinking, drugging, and committing different crimes (vandalism, stealing cars, dealing drugs & more). We started dating later that year, soon after my 13th birthday. It didn’t take long for me to succumb to his disobedient ways. At 13 yrs old, I lost my virginity. Aside from having unprotected sex, I started sneaking out, stealing my mother’s car, missing school and fighting. I thought I knew everything. I thought nothing bad could or would happen to me. Within 1 year, my boyfriend went from nice and attentive to abusive. He would constantly put me down, calling me all types of derogatory names. He also put his hands on me a few times. Drugs, drinking and jail became his everyday life.

My freshman year of high school was chaotic, dealing with the verbal and physical abuse. Trying to keep it from my family was even harder than before. My mom heard the senseless arguments and saw me in constant tears. I was so disgusted with myself and the lack of love and attention I wasn’t getting that one night I drowned my sorrows with 23 pills. It was a serious cry for help. By the time my mother knew what had happened, I was only a few hours away from death. I was hospitalized for a few days and given a psychiatric evaluation. I needed to talk with someone but didn’t feel like there was anyone that would listen or understand. I felt so alone.

My sophomore year seemed a little better. I didn’t get into trouble at school and my grades improved, but I was still wreckless. I was still with my abusive boyfriend and right around the holidays we found out I was pregnant. 15 and pregnant. I thought it was all going to be fine. We would have a baby and we would live happily ever after. But that wasn’t the case. My mom gave me an ultimatum that really left me no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. I spiraled into a whirlwind of resentment, anger, and depression.

My junior year of high school started out with me finding out I’m pregnant. That was a wake up call for me. I focused on school again, getting my grades back to As & Bs and graduated the next year, ranking 97 out of 800. I also realized that I was worth so much more than the abuse I was enduring and definitely didn’t want my baby to grow up with that… so I finally left my son’s father.

After high school, I took a few semesters of college before deciding that money and partying was more important than my education. My mom practically raised my son for the next 2 yrs, as I filled my days & nights with partying and drugs. At 21, my son’s father got out of prison (again) and we decided to get back together. Within months, I was pregnant again so we decided to move into our own place.

During my pregnancy, my son and I dealt with different kinds of abuse from him… alcoholism, drug abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and neglect. While I dedicated my life to my family, home and work, he indulged in cocaine, marijuana, drinking & affairs. My son was verbally and physically abused by his father. And I, the same. Nothing had changed. Several months after having my daughter, the kids and I moved out on our own. I partied for a few more years, convincing myself that the partying would make me feel better. This brought me to drinking, non-stop partying and promiscuity. All of this was a mask for my insecurities and self-doubt. It consumed me, straying me farther from my children. Finally tired of the guilt, I got my life back on track, went back to school and started going to church.

Working full time, attending school part-time, and trying to bring me & my family closer to God… that’s what my life is about now. I received my Associates degree a few years ago and am working on my Bachelors degree now. The years of rebellion, the times of not having self-worth… that’s behind me now. I’m raising a teenage boy and a young girl on my own and ask the Lord for His guidance everyday. God has shown me that life has so much to offer when you follow His word. Our journeys are never easy. We are tested everyday to make the right decisions, from something as simple as choosing the right words to say or the right reaction to have to something as complex as picking your friends/company wisely or overcoming peer pressure. God did not guarantee an easy road to travel but the fruits of our labor, as long as we trust and follow Him, will be more rewarding than words could ever express.

Trophy of Grace's Testimony

Hello ladies my name is Trophy of Grace. My heart’s desire is to let you know that you are not alone in your circumstances. Many others around the world and maybe even next door to you are going through or have gone through similar situations. I have been through so many different trials in my own personal life. Looking at me now you would never know. Here’s a short version of my story.

For the most part I had a good early childhood. My parents always seemed very loving and affectionate towards one other. I don’t really remember seeing them fighting. I used to play the keyboard very well and I was always a straight ‘A’ student. At the time I had just one sister who is a year younger than me.

My parents separated when I was eleven years old. This was very difficult for me because I was very close to my dad. I blamed my mother and resented her for their divorce. I began running away from home often. When I was just twelve years old I stole a car with a “friend” and drove to New York. That was just the first time that I stole a car and ran away. I thought I was so grown. It was hard to relate to the other girls my age because I felt like I was so much more “mature”. I hung out with gangs but not by choice. My mother’s family incorporated a gang called “Sangre” back in the early 90’s. I saw several initiations along with other gang activities. I did not have many boyfriends because they were scared of my uncles and cousins. I learned to keep my relations with guys on the low.

My mother died when I was sixteen years old. That was it for me. I went down so low in my life that I never thought I would ever come out of that pit. I began selling and doing drugs. Just months after my mother died I got busted by the police and charged with drug trafficking. They put me on probation for five years.

Within a year I meet my first husband. I was pregnant and married six months later. A month before my daughter’s 1st birthday he left us without any warning. I was heartbroken and lonely. I did not have a mother to go running home to and my father did not want my bad influence around my little brother. I was just nineteen years old and homeless. I had no choice but to leave my daughter with my in-laws who were pastors. By this time I had violated my probation for the third time. On my second violation the judge promised that he would send me to prison if I violated again. Months later I was arrested for assault with a vehicle. Even then the judge still had mercy on me and sentenced me to a six month drug rehab center. Just three months into the program I violated again.

While I was waiting to be taken back to jail from the center, a group of Christian women came in. They planned a big tea party event. It was beautiful. I had never been to anything like that. That is when I met my mentor. She is a godly woman who would impact the rest of my life. She began writing me. I loved reading her letters because they were always so encouraging and full of scriptures from the bible. I did not have anyone showing me that kind of love, the God kind.

Over the years that I had been in and out of jail I had prayed many times,especially when I was in jail. I remember every time I violated my probation I would get extradited back to the West Palm Beach County jail and there was always the same older woman coming in and teaching a bible study. She was so sweet and she spoke of freedom in Jesus. I was not sure what that really meant at the time, but I knew that I needed it. I asked Jesus to come into my heart on one of those trips. I did not see a change in me, but looking back I know that God had a plan all along. He allowed me to continue in my rebellious and selfish ways a little longer before He allowed me to be set aside in prison.

I was sent from the rehab back to the judge. He sentenced me to five years in prison but because of the guidelines back then I only had to serve eighteen months. From the time that I met Sonia I really began to seek God. By the time I was sentenced to prison I knew that God had a plan for me and I was not scared. I was ready to face my consequences and move on with my life.

God did not allow prison or my past experiences to destroy me. He took what the devil meant to destroy me and turned it around for my good. He blessed me with a beautiful family. Everything that I lost God gave me back and more. I have a wonderful husband who puts our family first. I have children who love God and that are constantly praising Him.

He can do the same for you if you will let Him. I am not proud of what I have done in my past, but if I had to go through it all over again so that I could better understand someone else’s sorrow then I would. I am who I am today because of God’s grace. I am His Trophy of Grace.


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