I Let Vanity Get To My Head

?????? said...

Hi...I just really need to ask something and in a way blow off some steam!I know this guy from my church and hes a really close friend of mines. But i have a problem. It all started when i recently began to dress more "sexy" and guys began to give me much more notice. Now i believe women should be modest in there appearance, (of course that doesnt mean we should be "frumpie") but there is a limit, and i believe i passed it with my much more tighter and revealing clothes.we go to school together and he noticed that guys started checking me out and flirting with me. he also told me how my whole way of talinkg, acting, and walking became different and that i just became like all the rest of the girls. He admitted to me that it made him upset to know that other guys were flirting with me.I soon realized he was right and that i let vanity get to my head and i turned into a "fashion diva", conforming to the vanity of this world.All thats great but i noticed how he looks at those same "vain" girls and he thinks there pretty. yet when i do it, its SO wrong. Now i do know that i did go overboard and i realize that. But y is it that he not like me 2 do it, but it doesnt matter when other girls do it, and he even thinks there pretty. And whenever a pretty girl walks into the room he looks at them (though he tries not 2, lol)he still does.WHats up with that???

Daughter of The King replies..
Sweetheart, the first thing I want to tell you is that you have a good friend in that young man you’re talking about. He noticed you took a turn in the wrong direction and he cared for you enough to bring it to your attention.

Let me tell you a little bit about men; God created man to be a visually aroused being, he is attracted and excited by the beauty of a woman. He can’t help that, if a pretty girl walks in the room especially if she’s dressed in a sexy manner, believe me he’s going to notice. That does not mean that God allows them to look and stare and create sexual fantasies in their mind, God knows he’ll notice but he does expect him to practice self-control and look away. My husband calls this “bouncing”; once a woman enters the room and catches your attention you bounce you’re eyes somewhere else and you don’t look again. It’s not the first look that gets you into trouble it’s the second and the third look that can start your mind going down the wrong path. You said that he tries not to look at them and let me tell you that girls today make it very difficult for guys to bounce their eyes, it’s great that he’s trying, maybe you can help him by bringing this to his attention the way he did for you. Stop focusing on the pretty girls he notices here and there and realize that he obviously notices you too; he noticed that your clothing changed, he noticed that the way you walked and talked changed, he noticed that you were becoming somebody that you’re not. That’s a lot of noticing if you ask me. He liked you and respected you the way you were; beautiful on the inside and on the outside. Remember there are two types of girls; there’s the type that guys like to look at and “mess around” with and there’s the type they imagine bringing home to meet their mom and marrying one day.

Now I want to get back to you. Why did you start to dress sexy? So sexy that you said you crossed the line? What were your motives? What were you trying to achieve? Did you want to be the center of attention? Were you trying to attract men sexually? It seems to me that you were desperately seeking something or you wouldn’t have gone to such extremes. Pray about it, ask God to reveal to you what is lacking in your life and ask Him to fill that need for you.

One Final thing I want to tell you, did you know that when you dress like that you are helping satan lead the young men that are looking at you astray? As a Christian woman you should be helping the young men around you to focus on God and not help contribute to their impure thoughts. I Corinthians 10:24 (NLT) says:
“Don't think only of your own good. Think of other Christians and what is best for them.”

Sincerely,

Daughter of The King

A Baby's Hug

Cross Post from Saved by Faith [blog site]


We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking.

Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, 'Hi.' He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, a s he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. 'Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,' the man said to Erik.

My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?'

Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, 'Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo.'

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.

My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. 'Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,' I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position. Before I could stop him, Erik had
propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.'

Somehow I managed, 'I will,' from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.'

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.'

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, 'Are you willing to share your son for a moment?' when He shared His for all eternity.

The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me about Mark 10:15... "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of what is really important. We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you are.