Anonymous said...What do I do when a guy is in love with me but I don't feel the same way with him? He is a Catholic, but I don't want to waste my feelings for him and not on God. I still want to be able to talk to him but I don't want to be his girlfriend. He calls me his love and his life and his girlfriend, but I know that he's not the one and that I'm just not ready for that kind of love. God is saving me for something better, but I don't want to hurt this guy in search of it.
I'm really not ready for love. How do I tell him?
Beloved by Him said...
First of all, praise God that you are so dedicated to your walk with the Lord! It’s always a wise choice to pursue our relationship with God, instead of prematurely turning our affections toward the wrong person. You’ve got a head start on a very important truth: God must always take first place in our hearts. It doesn’t matter if you’re young and single, or grown and married with children. If we move our commitment to Him to a lower priority, everything else will be out of whack. Matthew 6:33 compels us to “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” You’re doing the right thing by guarding your heart and waiting on God’s timing—because His way is perfect (Psalm 18:30).
With regard to your friend, he is professing some very strong feelings for you, but it sounds like he’s confusing attraction for love. Real, God-given love does not insist on its own way, but is gentle and patient (I Corin. 13:4-5). Unless you have sent him some mixed signals, he should not be calling you his girlfriend. If he is saved, then he is a brother in Christ, and he needs to treat you with the same respect as he would treat his mom or his sister! If he’s not saved, then you really have to reconsider your friendship with him, because he is not filled with the Holy Spirit (Gal.3:28), and we as Christians are not to be friends with the world (James 4:4). Either way, while you can still be kind to him, you are probably going to have to maintain a healthy emotional distance from him, until his feelings start to cool.
Before you talk to him, look at some of the above scriptures, and pray and ask God to help you say the right thing. This is a good time to make a stand for your faith, and for yourself. You have every right, as God’s beloved young woman, to let him know that you are not going to compromise your beliefs for anyone. You might even be bold enough to let him know you already belong to someone—Jesus! Be respectful when you tell him these things, but don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to make him feel better. You might find yourself (innocently) trying to flatter him, which will make him confused. Your number-one priority is to please God (Gal. 1:10). If he is a friend worth keeping, then he will understand and back off. But if he doesn’t respect and accept what you say, then you will be able to see more clearly what he’s all about, which is himself, not God, and not you. Hopefully, he’s a true friend. If not, then you can feel confident that the Lord doesn’t want this person to have a prominent place in your life, and you need to move ahead without him.
