T. Marshall said...
The father of my child is no longer in the picture. Although he was the one who told me he was ready to have children and wanted to have them with me, I found out the hard way that that wasn't true. I've been having complications in my pregnancy and was finally put on bed rest until I go into labor. Even though my son's father isn't in the picture, I still have contact with him. When I let him know about the complications and the bed rest he told me that it was best for him if I didn't contact him until the baby is here on earth. Meaning, to me, that he no longer wanted to be there for the birth of his son. I'm getting to the point where I am just lost. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling any emotion toward him at all. I want to be civial but he makes it so hard. Should I call from the hospital before labor (and give him one last chance to be there)? Should I call him after? Or should I just wait until we go to court for child support? Bottomline, I just don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin my experience welcoming my son into the world if hes just going to be negative or not show up. But this is his son and I want him to be there. More so, I feel like if he had the option it would make me feel better when or if he doesn't show up. I don't want to feel like I kept him away. But I also dont want to be hurt if he lets us down for the uptenth time.
Trophy of Grace said...
I know that you are heartbroken and torn emotionally with everything that is going on in your life right now. Between the complications in your pregnancy and the feeling of abandonment that you must have because the father of your child has neglected his responsibilities, I can imagine you are overwhelmed. However, I want you to know that even though this young man has abandoned you and your unborn child that God has not abandoned you and He never will. He is always faithful to care for all of our needs emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. He is our Provider and that is where your hope must come from.
The father of your child has requested that you do not contact him until the baby is born. I think that you should respect his wishes and grant his request. Don’t force yourself or the pregnancy on him. It will only cause you more trouble and heartache for you if he continues to reject you. It’s hard not to take it personal, I know. But I think you should avoid the hurt. He will come around if he wants to and when he’s ready. I like to think it is better to be alone than in bad company. Your pregnancy does not need any extra stress. In fact if you are overly stressed the baby can feel that and you could even go into premature labor. Think about your health and the baby’s health. Cast this burden on the Lord and allow the Word of God to be the comfort and support you need during this trying to time in your life.
However, when you go into labor you could call or text him to give him another opportunity to have the privilege of being present for the birth of his son. If he chooses not to go then you must forgive him and leave him in God’s hands. He knows better how to deal with this young man. You have to focus on becoming the mom that God has intended you to be. You need to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepared to raise your son. Our children are a blessing from God and He has entrusted them to us for us to care for and love, to teach them about Him, His will, and His Word. You need to be prayed up and ready for this honorable task of being a mother. If father of your child does not want to be apart of that then it will most certainly be his lose. He will regret it one day I am sure.
You feel lost, angry, and you hate all the emotions that you feel right not toward him and about this whole situation. This is where you need to humble yourself before God and ask Him to help you to forgive him even thought he may not deserve it. Realize that forgiving him is not for him but for you. You will be held captive by hostility, a quarreling spirit, outbursts of anger, dissension, strife, bitterness, and all sorts of negative spirits and emotion if you do not forgive him. You can not allow this anger to root it’s self in your heart resulting in bitterness and hate. Remember also that during pregnancy that our emotions every because it will result in bitterness rooting its self deeply in your heart.
Instead forgive him and allow the Holy Spirit to heal your heart. Take your eyes off of what this young man isn’t doing in your life or in his son’s life and put your eyes on Jesus. Focus on having an intimate relationship with Him and you will see that you will have everything you need to handle every situation in your life. It all starts with truly submitting your will, your ways, your emotions, EVERYTHING to Jesus Christ. Then you will know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter happens to you and no matter what comes against you that it will be all good because God is for you.
Here are some scriptures to meditate on:
For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6: 14
Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! Matthew 18: 21-22
So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Matthew 18: 35
Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. Colossians 3: 13
Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my [sad] countenance, and my God. Psalm 43: 5
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14
It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it [fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you]. 1 Thessalonians 5: 24
