?????? said...Hi...I just really need to ask something and in a way blow off some steam!I know this guy from my church and hes a really close friend of mines. But i have a problem. It all started when i recently began to dress more "sexy" and guys began to give me much more notice. Now i believe women should be modest in there appearance, (of course that doesnt mean we should be "frumpie") but there is a limit, and i believe i passed it with my much more tighter and revealing clothes.we go to school together and he noticed that guys started checking me out and flirting with me. he also told me how my whole way of talinkg, acting, and walking became different and that i just became like all the rest of the girls. He admitted to me that it made him upset to know that other guys were flirting with me.I soon realized he was right and that i let vanity get to my head and i turned into a "fashion diva", conforming to the vanity of this world.All thats great but i noticed how he looks at those same "vain" girls and he thinks there pretty. yet when i do it, its SO wrong. Now i do know that i did go overboard and i realize that. But y is it that he not like me 2 do it, but it doesnt matter when other girls do it, and he even thinks there pretty. And whenever a pretty girl walks into the room he looks at them (though he tries not 2, lol)he still does.WHats up with that???
Daughter of The King replies..
Sweetheart, the first thing I want to tell you is that you have a good friend in that young man you’re talking about. He noticed you took a turn in the wrong direction and he cared for you enough to bring it to your attention.
Let me tell you a little bit about men; God created man to be a visually aroused being, he is attracted and excited by the beauty of a woman. He can’t help that, if a pretty girl walks in the room especially if she’s dressed in a sexy manner, believe me he’s going to notice. That does not mean that God allows them to look and stare and create sexual fantasies in their mind, God knows he’ll notice but he does expect him to practice self-control and look away. My husband calls this “bouncing”; once a woman enters the room and catches your attention you bounce you’re eyes somewhere else and you don’t look again. It’s not the first look that gets you into trouble it’s the second and the third look that can start your mind going down the wrong path. You said that he tries not to look at them and let me tell you that girls today make it very difficult for guys to bounce their eyes, it’s great that he’s trying, maybe you can help him by bringing this to his attention the way he did for you. Stop focusing on the pretty girls he notices here and there and realize that he obviously notices you too; he noticed that your clothing changed, he noticed that the way you walked and talked changed, he noticed that you were becoming somebody that you’re not. That’s a lot of noticing if you ask me. He liked you and respected you the way you were; beautiful on the inside and on the outside. Remember there are two types of girls; there’s the type that guys like to look at and “mess around” with and there’s the type they imagine bringing home to meet their mom and marrying one day.
Now I want to get back to you. Why did you start to dress sexy? So sexy that you said you crossed the line? What were your motives? What were you trying to achieve? Did you want to be the center of attention? Were you trying to attract men sexually? It seems to me that you were desperately seeking something or you wouldn’t have gone to such extremes. Pray about it, ask God to reveal to you what is lacking in your life and ask Him to fill that need for you.
One Final thing I want to tell you, did you know that when you dress like that you are helping satan lead the young men that are looking at you astray? As a Christian woman you should be helping the young men around you to focus on God and not help contribute to their impure thoughts. I Corinthians 10:24 (NLT) says:
“Don't think only of your own good. Think of other Christians and what is best for them.”
Sincerely,
Daughter of The King
