Written by: Daughter of The King
Have you ever wondered who invented dating? It’s such a common thing now a days that it seems like everyone is dating and those who are not are dying to start. That got me wondering about the purpose of dating, so as a Christian woman I went to the Bible to see what it had to say about dating, do you know what I found? NOTHING!
The Bible has a lot to say about marriage but not on dating. We think that dating is something that has always existed but it is an invention of the 20th century. The real purpose of dating is to help us select our future husband, back in Bible times you did not select your husband, your father did that for you. Now personally I’m glad our parents don’t chose our husband for us anymore but on the other hand dating the way its done today has gotten out of hand.
The problem is that dating has shifted from something we do to find our future husband to something we do just for fun and now the age at which girls start dating is getting younger and younger. And how about the actual date; back in the day when you were dating a guy he would take you on a picnic or to a carnival, he would buy you flowers, stuffed animal and maybe even write you a poem or love letters. It saddens me when girls tell me that guys don’t do those things anymore. There are two reasons why they don’t. The first reason is that since we’re starting to date so young they simply don’t have the money or skill to do them. The second reason is that they don’t have to; since it’s so easy to get a girl to out with you, make out with you, and maybe even have sex with you why would you bother spending money on flowers?
So, here’s what I’m suggesting ladies; take it slow. What’s the rush? You have a long life ahead of you and if you would just wait until the right time to do things you would enjoy them much more.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-5 says”There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain…”
Get the idea? If you’re no where near ready for marriage this is your time to wait but while you’re waiting you should be thinking about what kind of man you need your husband to be, do you want a man that is faithful? Respectful? Honest? Funny?
During this waiting time you should also be working on your own character, do you possess the qualities that you’re looking for? Also, the waiting period is a great time to get out there and have some fun with your group of friends; observe the guys, scope out who can potentially be a good boyfriend in the future.
The time for dating is when you think marriage could be in your near future (and 10 years is not the near future). I looked up “dating” in the dictionary and this is what it said “to make a date with; go out on dates with” well, it simply means to make an appointment with someone and that doesn’t sound very romantic me.
But, back in the day “dating” used to be called “courting” and that means “To try to gain the love or affection of someone, to seek to marry” isn’t that definition much more romantic? Another word that was used in the past for “dating” is “wooing” it means “to seek to achieve the affection of someone with the intent to romance” the way we date today robs us of good old fashioned romance and what girl doesn’t want to be romanced?
If you rather be courted or wooed instead of just dating there are a couple of things you can do. First don’t start dating too young and second don’t give yourself away. If a guy has access to your body (making out or any type of sex) romance goes out the window because there’s nothing left for him to achieve. But when you don’t give yourself away the right guy, a godly guy will respect and love you more then he will seek to earn your affection and that’s when the romance comes in.
The time for mating (having sex) is when you are married; ALL forms of sex should be kept out of dating and saved for marriage only. That’s what God commands and what’s best for us; sex outside of marriage clouds our judgment, burdens us with emotional baggage and can lead to unnecessary hardships like an STD or an unplanned pregnancy. God created sex to be sacred and when we do it his way (in marriage) it will be amazing!
Ladies, decide you’re worth waiting for; don’t’ get swept up in the dating craze
and don’t let past mistakes keep you from making a fresh start. You can do it!
