ANSWER:
Wow..it's amazing how I feel your pain...
I knew the day would come that I would no longer be able to hide behind my short testimony. I knew that were girls out there just like me that had been raped or molested, but I feared being completely vunerable. So I chose not to share it. In fact until I decided to start this ministry I had not even told my husband of 10 years. I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of. It still hurts but I don't meditate on it anymore. Not because I am in denial, but because I chose to think on better things. Things that will encourage me and lift my spirits. I don't dwell on the past any more. I realized along time ago that people have their own free will and that God did not let those things happen to me because 'it was his plan'. The rebellious and evil spirits of those individuals abused us. Sin in this world will only get worse until Jesus comes back. It's not God's fault.
I have allowed Him to use what satan meant to destroy me to bring glory to Him. I was abused! I was mislead and taken advantage of but I am not a victim any more. I am a VICTOR! I am renewing my mind. I have learned to walk by faith and not by sight.. I will not be lead by my feelings and emotions. I have learned that they are fickle, constantly changing.
I know what it is like for people to look up to you and think of you as a strong Christian; mean while you are battling some of the worst demons. I know what it feels like to feel weak and want to give up because you feel like the trials are just too much already. When is enough enough? But then His Word rises up in my Spirit..I am encouraged. His Holy Spirit is ALWAYS faithful to remind me of scriptures that I have read. Like the one that is coming up in my spirit now...
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (12:9-10)
His Word is what I need daily to survive. But our Heavenly Father is also faithful to give me the extra measure of faith, grace, and mercy to keep going. So I don't give up because I long to please Him and I know that this life is only temporary. So my troubles, trials, persecution, sadness, sorrow, and pain are only for a little longer, because Jesus is coming back SOON!
In the mean time I will focus all my energy on leading others to Jesus. Not a knowledge of Jesus or the bible. But telling them how having a personal relationship with Him has changed my heart, mind, soul, and spirit forever.Now that I have laid that all out on the table..My answer to you isn't to 'just pray'. It is to get on your face before God! Fast and humble yourself before the prescence of the Almighty God! You are under a serious attack. The enemy has asked to sift you, just like he did Peter. When did you forget that this is a spiritual battle? Rise up in the power of the Holy Spirit pick up your sword and FIGHT back! Put your armor back on! He has COMMANDED you to be strong and courageous. You are a child of the most High God and NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU WILL PROSPER! These are the end days and the enemy will not stop until he gets you to commit suicide. Do not be fooled this is not the way out! If you take your own life you will not see our Heavenly Father.
Go back to the basics. Ask God to renew in you the joy of your salvation. Call some other strong intercessors to come along your side with you and fast on your behalf. Don't give up! Immerse yourself in the Word of God! Put on some praise and worship. Lift your hands before Him and praise him through this storm. Remember that praise has won battles before and walls have come down.
You are not alone in this. Many of us are under severe attacks. But we can not lose focus! We have got to stay prayed up, fasted, full of the Word, full of praise, and full of His Spirit! Most of all we have got to stay surrendered to Him.
I will be praying you..All of the women of WeUsed2bu will be! Please stay in touch with me...
Trophy of Grace
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