Anonymous Wrote:
My best friend and I have known each other for over 10 years; we know each other very well. Although we are best friends I'm not much of a phone person and our work schedules are so hectic that we only go to dinner about once a week. She always gets mad at me for not calling her enough, etc. We went away this weekend w/ our boyfriends and I sensed she was mad at me the whole time. My boyfriend and I don't drink or go to clubs and I feel she was upset about that. I feel that she is really demanding of my time and doesn’t understand that I don’t want to fall back into the world. I don't know if it's me being a bad friend or if it’s something on her part. She is catholic but doesn’t go to church or anything, I am Christian and want a closer relationship with the Lord. What should I do?
Response:I don’t think you’re being a bad friend. I think this is more about friends understanding one another and accepting them as they are. For example, I work and go to school and am raise my children on my own, so my time is extremely limited… and aside from that, I only like to be on the phone when it’s something important. Most of my friends understand that and respect it. On occasion, there’s one that wants more time or asks why I “never” talk to her (I think her phone is surgically attached to her ear! lol). If I know it’s something that’s important to my friend, I will try to make a call here & there just to say hi (keeping it short) or I’ll send a text message. But they also have to accept my schedule and understand that they cannot be my main focus… but the occasional call or text shows them that, although they aren’t my main focus, I thought of them and am here for them. I think the difference in how you & she are living your lives now might be what’s really hardening the friendship though.
Having friends that don’t go to church or don’t really understand what it means to live as a Christian is very difficult. It is very easy for them to get mad or offended because you don’t want to party with them anymore. Being of the flesh, it’s hard for them to accept that you’ve changed your ways and are trying to live your life according to God’s will. This is when we have to determine who our friends really are. I would love to say that eventually they’ll accept it and you’ll still have the same wonderful friendship but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. A lot of the time, in my experience, they will distance themselves or I will distance myself, because it’s too much of a conflict of interest. Your main focus is strengthening your relationship in Christ and should not… cannot… compromise your salvation. Talk to her, let her know you value the friendship and you would like her to be more understanding and accepting of how you’re living now. Pray before speaking with her; make sure you speak with her out of love. You should also keep her in your prayers. Pray that she finds her way to Christ and turns her sinning ways around. Continue to stand strong and set the example for others. Your testimony will impact others.
Please read this article, it’s about Christian living and fleshly friends.
Jesus Freak
Your sister is Christ,
Saved By Faith
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