I have a question about (Christian) marriage. What does it mean to submit to your husband? How do you do it?
Trophy of Grace replies...
Submitting to your husband is an act of love, a willingness to honor and affirm his position as head of the home. I believe us as wives we must understand that God has placed our husbands as the authority in our home and we are their helpmates. We are to come along side of them encouraging them with loving words of affirmation, helping to achieve God’s will in our family’s lives.
How do you submit? By trusting God to help you every day and by remembering that we are to submit to our husbands just as we submit to Christ Jesus, with love and reverence.
This does not mean that we are to follow them into sin. It does not mean that they are better than us. It does not mean that we do not have a say or that what we say doesn’t matter, because the Word says that we are to submit one to another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21) We are not inferior to our husbands or man. Women are a very powerful ministry tool that the Lord will use to help husbands achieve many great successes. Just read about the proverb 31 woman. She is my hero.
I have to share this with you because I believe it is no coincident that you wrote in this question and that it fell on my turn to answer. I had the rest of what you are about to read prewritten because the Lord laid it on my heart to share this with my readers on www.consecratedtohim.com. I pray that it helps you..
I just recently read Ephesians again for the umpteenth time and when I got to chapter 5 where Paul teaches on Spirit guided relationships between husband and wives verses 22-24 seemed to be illuminating before my eyes.
“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”
Our Lord has tried for many years to get me to really sit down and read these verses and allow Him to teach me about submitting to my husband. Like I said earlier I have read Ephesians over and over again, but when I would read these verses a spirit of rebellion would remind me of all my past hurts and immediately I would shut down and become inaccessible to the Spirit. My heart was just not willing to receive these instructions. My mind also was not willing to meditate on what the Spirit of God is truly saying here to us wives.
You see for as far back as I can remember all the men in our family were unfaithful to their wives and girlfriends. Some of the women were emotionally and physically abused by their husbands. Divorce was common in our family. I saw women I loved left raising their children on their own, abandoned by the men, boyfriends, or husbands that promised to love them. Then I became one of those women. I was married to my first husband at just seventeen. Our lust filled marriage didn’t last long. A month before our daughter’s first birthday I woke up and he was gone. No note. No good bye. No reason until many years later.
After he left us I vowed that I would never truly give myself completely to any man. I put a wall up around my heart and tried to move on with life. Little did I know that when I made that vow I had invited this ‘independent woman’ spirit to come and influence my life. I even had theme songs to help remind me that I didn’t need a man, Destiny Child’s Independent Women. Anyone ever heard it? I had so many man hating songs it was unbelievable. It is no wonder my mind was battling being renewed in this area I was still listening to all that crap music.
Now today is different. I truly love the Lord and I long to please Him. I hear what the Spirit of God is saying now. He has given me eyes to see and ears to hear. I trust the Lord with my life and I know that His will and His ways are perfect. Through His healing power I realize now that submission is a willing act of trust and love. I know now that submission to my husband does not mean that I become his footstool or maid. Submitting to my husband is to be an expression of my love for him. When we are submissive to our husbands it shows our respect and reverence for him. That reverence means to respect, defer to, to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy him. Imagine what this type of submission will do for our marriages.
He has ordained that the head of woman is man. Although we will often times desire to control our husbands he is to rule over us. We are to have a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, and obeying our husbands. Even when we are not sure we have to remember that when we submit to our husbands we are actually submitting to Christ Jesus. If we are rebellious and refuse to give in to our husbands then we are actually rejecting God’s order and will. (1 Corinthians 11:3, Genesis 3:16)
There has to be order and structure in every home, business, ministry and organization in order for things to function in an organized fashion. If not there will be chaos and confusion. We must trust the Lord and be obedient to our husband who was put as the head of our home to keep the order. We should obey as long we do not have to disobey our Lord or deny God. Submit in everything without fear and anxiety trusting the Lord. (1 Peter 3:6)
I wasted all those years being afraid to submit. I did not want to allow my husband to lead me. I did not trust him right off the bat because of all of my past hurts and experiences. We can not allow our past hurts whether before the marriage or during our marriage to become hindrances. We have to forgive and move on; leaving the past behind us and looking ahead submitting to our husbands as we submit to Christ because we love them.
How do you submit? By trusting God to help you every day and by remembering that we are to submit to our husbands just as we submit to Christ Jesus, with love and reverence.
This does not mean that we are to follow them into sin. It does not mean that they are better than us. It does not mean that we do not have a say or that what we say doesn’t matter, because the Word says that we are to submit one to another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21) We are not inferior to our husbands or man. Women are a very powerful ministry tool that the Lord will use to help husbands achieve many great successes. Just read about the proverb 31 woman. She is my hero.
I have to share this with you because I believe it is no coincident that you wrote in this question and that it fell on my turn to answer. I had the rest of what you are about to read prewritten because the Lord laid it on my heart to share this with my readers on www.consecratedtohim.com. I pray that it helps you..
I just recently read Ephesians again for the umpteenth time and when I got to chapter 5 where Paul teaches on Spirit guided relationships between husband and wives verses 22-24 seemed to be illuminating before my eyes.
“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”
Our Lord has tried for many years to get me to really sit down and read these verses and allow Him to teach me about submitting to my husband. Like I said earlier I have read Ephesians over and over again, but when I would read these verses a spirit of rebellion would remind me of all my past hurts and immediately I would shut down and become inaccessible to the Spirit. My heart was just not willing to receive these instructions. My mind also was not willing to meditate on what the Spirit of God is truly saying here to us wives.
You see for as far back as I can remember all the men in our family were unfaithful to their wives and girlfriends. Some of the women were emotionally and physically abused by their husbands. Divorce was common in our family. I saw women I loved left raising their children on their own, abandoned by the men, boyfriends, or husbands that promised to love them. Then I became one of those women. I was married to my first husband at just seventeen. Our lust filled marriage didn’t last long. A month before our daughter’s first birthday I woke up and he was gone. No note. No good bye. No reason until many years later.
After he left us I vowed that I would never truly give myself completely to any man. I put a wall up around my heart and tried to move on with life. Little did I know that when I made that vow I had invited this ‘independent woman’ spirit to come and influence my life. I even had theme songs to help remind me that I didn’t need a man, Destiny Child’s Independent Women. Anyone ever heard it? I had so many man hating songs it was unbelievable. It is no wonder my mind was battling being renewed in this area I was still listening to all that crap music.
Now today is different. I truly love the Lord and I long to please Him. I hear what the Spirit of God is saying now. He has given me eyes to see and ears to hear. I trust the Lord with my life and I know that His will and His ways are perfect. Through His healing power I realize now that submission is a willing act of trust and love. I know now that submission to my husband does not mean that I become his footstool or maid. Submitting to my husband is to be an expression of my love for him. When we are submissive to our husbands it shows our respect and reverence for him. That reverence means to respect, defer to, to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy him. Imagine what this type of submission will do for our marriages.
He has ordained that the head of woman is man. Although we will often times desire to control our husbands he is to rule over us. We are to have a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, and obeying our husbands. Even when we are not sure we have to remember that when we submit to our husbands we are actually submitting to Christ Jesus. If we are rebellious and refuse to give in to our husbands then we are actually rejecting God’s order and will. (1 Corinthians 11:3, Genesis 3:16)
There has to be order and structure in every home, business, ministry and organization in order for things to function in an organized fashion. If not there will be chaos and confusion. We must trust the Lord and be obedient to our husband who was put as the head of our home to keep the order. We should obey as long we do not have to disobey our Lord or deny God. Submit in everything without fear and anxiety trusting the Lord. (1 Peter 3:6)
I wasted all those years being afraid to submit. I did not want to allow my husband to lead me. I did not trust him right off the bat because of all of my past hurts and experiences. We can not allow our past hurts whether before the marriage or during our marriage to become hindrances. We have to forgive and move on; leaving the past behind us and looking ahead submitting to our husbands as we submit to Christ because we love them.
Sincerely,
