MySpace friend writes..
Hey seeking advice again um I like this boy but he like one of my friends but they have went out before and she keeps "breaking" his heart but he keeps dating her and they've recently gone out and he dumped him for another guy *which was his friend* What do I do I'm so confused but I've never felt this way about a guy before and I really like him!
Beloved By Him says..
This is not a good situation for you to be involved in--even though you’re not one of the points of this love triangle, you’re still in the middle of the mess. You need to take a step back and let this fire go out, without you adding your feelings in and getting burned (Prov. 26:17).
You may be attracted to this guy, but he is apparently very interested in your friend. This isn’t the way you want a potential relationship to start. The right guy for you is going to be interested in only you (Song of Sol.7:10). God will bring Him to you in His perfect time (Ps. 18:30), without putting you in a position to be hurt (Prov. 10:22) or causing a lot of confusion (I Cor.14:33). Don’t settle for less than the person He is preparing for you.
Another thing to consider is your friendship with this girl. Being a true friend requires love, loyalty and sacrifice (John 15:13). If you really love your friend, you are going to love her at all times (Prov.17:7), even if she’s acting badly. You are going to have to stand by her, regardless of what relationship she might be in, and especially in the aftermath of a bad one, when she need you the most (Prov. 18:24). A true friend seeks the other person’s best interests, not her own (I Cor. 13:5). This means you can’t be dating someone that she used to be involved with--that’s a serious conflict of interest. Even if your friend and the guy are broken up, if she sees you going after him, she may question your friendship and your motives (I Thess.5:22). You have to choose: Are you going to show her true sacrificial love that puts her needs before your own, or are you going to go after what she had, potentially harming your friendship? (John 15:13, Heb. 13:5).
Something else to consider is how other people are going to view you if you pursue this guy. As a teenager, I didn’t care enough about my friends to stay away from guys they liked. I was more interested in getting attention and proving that I was the better choice. This resulted in a lot of hurt feelings on the part of my friends, and a total loss of self-identity on my part. I lost the person God intended me to be and became anything that I thought a certain guy might like. This just reinforced in my mind the lie that I could never be liked for who I really was. I lost myself, friends, the respect of peers, and years of the peace and happiness God would have given me if I had only asked for Him to show me who and what He wanted me to be. But everything changed when I truly chose to trust God’s plan for my life. It took almost losing my marriage, and then learning to let my husband see me for all of my mistakes, shortcomings, and just plain old imperfections, for me to experience what true love really looks and feels like. Love is truly a gift from God; it can’t be created by our lame human attempts to make someone want to be with us.
You need to know how much the Lord really loves you, and that He has a wonderful plan for your life that will bring you more fulfillment than you can ever imagine (Jer. 29:11, Eph. 3:19, I John 3:1, John 15:11). Don’t ever let your temporary feelings become more important than your relationship with Him, and don’t take the friends He has given you for granted. You won’t be sorry when you’re the one in need, and you find them ready to be there for you.
Hey seeking advice again um I like this boy but he like one of my friends but they have went out before and she keeps "breaking" his heart but he keeps dating her and they've recently gone out and he dumped him for another guy *which was his friend* What do I do I'm so confused but I've never felt this way about a guy before and I really like him!
Beloved By Him says..
This is not a good situation for you to be involved in--even though you’re not one of the points of this love triangle, you’re still in the middle of the mess. You need to take a step back and let this fire go out, without you adding your feelings in and getting burned (Prov. 26:17).
You may be attracted to this guy, but he is apparently very interested in your friend. This isn’t the way you want a potential relationship to start. The right guy for you is going to be interested in only you (Song of Sol.7:10). God will bring Him to you in His perfect time (Ps. 18:30), without putting you in a position to be hurt (Prov. 10:22) or causing a lot of confusion (I Cor.14:33). Don’t settle for less than the person He is preparing for you.
Another thing to consider is your friendship with this girl. Being a true friend requires love, loyalty and sacrifice (John 15:13). If you really love your friend, you are going to love her at all times (Prov.17:7), even if she’s acting badly. You are going to have to stand by her, regardless of what relationship she might be in, and especially in the aftermath of a bad one, when she need you the most (Prov. 18:24). A true friend seeks the other person’s best interests, not her own (I Cor. 13:5). This means you can’t be dating someone that she used to be involved with--that’s a serious conflict of interest. Even if your friend and the guy are broken up, if she sees you going after him, she may question your friendship and your motives (I Thess.5:22). You have to choose: Are you going to show her true sacrificial love that puts her needs before your own, or are you going to go after what she had, potentially harming your friendship? (John 15:13, Heb. 13:5).
Something else to consider is how other people are going to view you if you pursue this guy. As a teenager, I didn’t care enough about my friends to stay away from guys they liked. I was more interested in getting attention and proving that I was the better choice. This resulted in a lot of hurt feelings on the part of my friends, and a total loss of self-identity on my part. I lost the person God intended me to be and became anything that I thought a certain guy might like. This just reinforced in my mind the lie that I could never be liked for who I really was. I lost myself, friends, the respect of peers, and years of the peace and happiness God would have given me if I had only asked for Him to show me who and what He wanted me to be. But everything changed when I truly chose to trust God’s plan for my life. It took almost losing my marriage, and then learning to let my husband see me for all of my mistakes, shortcomings, and just plain old imperfections, for me to experience what true love really looks and feels like. Love is truly a gift from God; it can’t be created by our lame human attempts to make someone want to be with us.
You need to know how much the Lord really loves you, and that He has a wonderful plan for your life that will bring you more fulfillment than you can ever imagine (Jer. 29:11, Eph. 3:19, I John 3:1, John 15:11). Don’t ever let your temporary feelings become more important than your relationship with Him, and don’t take the friends He has given you for granted. You won’t be sorry when you’re the one in need, and you find them ready to be there for you.
Sincerely,
