Anonymous writes..
Hi, I'm 14 years old, and I used to have a boyfriend. We had been going out for 5 months going on 6. I love the Lord very much. And during the time I was going out with him i could feel God tugging at my heart. I noticed that when i had a boyfriend my relationship with God had become more and more distant. so i ended it. it wasnt easy for me at all. i still talk to this boy..but just as friends. i moved states and states away from him, and we still talk. i really do love him. and i know im gonna get that "ur young..ur not going to marry him" response. but i dont believe that. theres one problem that i really need help with though. hes not a christian and he thinks he has time. what can i do?
Hi, I'm 14 years old, and I used to have a boyfriend. We had been going out for 5 months going on 6. I love the Lord very much. And during the time I was going out with him i could feel God tugging at my heart. I noticed that when i had a boyfriend my relationship with God had become more and more distant. so i ended it. it wasnt easy for me at all. i still talk to this boy..but just as friends. i moved states and states away from him, and we still talk. i really do love him. and i know im gonna get that "ur young..ur not going to marry him" response. but i dont believe that. theres one problem that i really need help with though. hes not a christian and he thinks he has time. what can i do?
Trophy of Grace replies..
Thank you for coming to WeUsed2bu and allowing us to advise you. May the Lord give me the words to speak to you and may your heart be prepared to receive direction.
Let me begin by saying that I most certainly can not tell the future to tell you that you are not going to marry him. I don’t know that. Also you may be young but I would never minimize your questions, concerns, or issues because of your age. I see you as my younger sister in the Lord who our heavenly Father has brought to me to love on and share my God given wisdom with.
I am so proud for you listening to the Holy Spirit who was tugging at your heart while you were in this relationship. You see my sister we serve a jealous God who loves us so much and wants an intimate and personal relationship with us. (Exodus 34:14) When you allowed this relationship with this young man to become the center of your life our Lord was hurt. He doesn’t want us to ever distance ourselves from Him, because apart from Him we can do nothing. (John 15:4) He has a mighty plan for your life. You are destined for greatness in Christ Jesus, but in order to fulfill the calling on your life you will have to remain at all times connected to the vine, Jesus Christ. (Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:5-6)
I think it is a good thing that you broke it off with this young man because he is not a believer. The Word of God is clear about having a relationship with an unbeliever. It says:
Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Definition of YOKE: (from Latin to join) - a wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals (as oxen) are joined at the heads or necks for working together.
Thank you for coming to WeUsed2bu and allowing us to advise you. May the Lord give me the words to speak to you and may your heart be prepared to receive direction.
Let me begin by saying that I most certainly can not tell the future to tell you that you are not going to marry him. I don’t know that. Also you may be young but I would never minimize your questions, concerns, or issues because of your age. I see you as my younger sister in the Lord who our heavenly Father has brought to me to love on and share my God given wisdom with.
I am so proud for you listening to the Holy Spirit who was tugging at your heart while you were in this relationship. You see my sister we serve a jealous God who loves us so much and wants an intimate and personal relationship with us. (Exodus 34:14) When you allowed this relationship with this young man to become the center of your life our Lord was hurt. He doesn’t want us to ever distance ourselves from Him, because apart from Him we can do nothing. (John 15:4) He has a mighty plan for your life. You are destined for greatness in Christ Jesus, but in order to fulfill the calling on your life you will have to remain at all times connected to the vine, Jesus Christ. (Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:5-6)
I think it is a good thing that you broke it off with this young man because he is not a believer. The Word of God is clear about having a relationship with an unbeliever. It says:
Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Definition of YOKE: (from Latin to join) - a wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals (as oxen) are joined at the heads or necks for working together.
Literally: the Bible uses beasts of burden as an example. If a donkey and an ox are yoked together (which God forbid the people of Israel to do in Deuteronomy 22:10), the yoke will weigh heavily on one animal while choking the other, or as the animal with the longer stride moves ahead it will painfully drag the other along by the neck! They would not be able to pull smoothly or painlessly together and little work would get done. But when two animals of approximately the same size and weight are yoked together, they pull the plow smoothly, helping each other, and work is accomplished.
Spiritually: becoming attached to a person who does not share your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior can be just as painful and counterproductive as the illustration of the unequally yoked animals. Whether attached financially (as in a business partnership) or emotionally (as a spouse), you are connected to someone who cannot "pull" equally with you in life. (taken from http://www.childoflight.org/yoked.html)
As far as your friend thinking that he still has time to be saved and what you should do about it. Keep praying for him. I don’t suggest you making it your purpose to try to get him saved. It is the Lord that wisely orchestrates divine moments when He allows us to see our need for Jesus. So cast your burden on the Lord regarding this young man’s soul. (1 Peter 5:7) Praying and interceding for him is what I believe that you are called to do. This is the most powerful thing you could do because the prayers of a righteous man or woman avail much. (James 5:6)
Now the next part of what I am going to tell you is hard. I think you need to limit the amount of time you spend talking to him via text, email, im, or any other way. (2 Corinthians 6:17) I think you need to break this emotional attachment you have to this young man. Ask the Lord to help you bring your thoughts and emotions under control until you can learn to love him strictly like a brother in the Lord. (Philippians 4:13)
Keep your focus on your relationship with Christ. Grow in wisdom and knowledge of the Word of God. Allow the Word to transform you and mold you into the Godly woman that God intends for you to be. Don’t let anything or anyone come between your relationship with the Lord. Your time will come when the Lord will bring the right man to you don’t be in a hurry. Learn to accept God’s timing in everything.
Blessings to you sister,
Blessings to you sister,
