Tuesday, November 18, 2008

We Broke Up Again, My Heart Is Broken


Anonymous comments: I love what you guys are doing, thank you for taking the time to help and encourage people in God's word over their lives.

I was hoping to get some help on a situation. 2 years ago I started going out with a boy who was quite immature and because of this and a series of disappointments I split up with him as I felt this was right and he was not really walking with God.

Afterwards he really discouraged me for about a year making me feel really uncomfortable in church and youth, which made me not want to go. I felt horrible within myself and although staying close to God I felt like I was nothing without him and that I truly loved him.

About 6 months ago he came around again confessing he did still like me - we waited a few months getting to know each other and praying for God’s grace and what He thinks on the situation. I was never happier to be going out with him again, everything seemed amazing and I was with the man I loved.

Yesterday he split up with me because we had different desires for life, I wanted to travel, and he felt called to our country which made things awkward. I don't know how to get over him as everything felt so right before. He has messed with my emotions so much and everyone tells me I can do better and to stay clear of him.

I just want to be with him again, I couldn't get him out of my head for about a year last time, and now I can see it being worse. I want God to deal with him but I want to move on, I find it so hard.

The world’s way would be to find a rebound relationship probably, I just need strength and a realization that he is not the one for me, please, do you have any words of encouragement?

Thanks so much!

Saved By Faith Comments: Thank you for your encouraging words regarding our site. I pray that God gives me the words to uplift you in your time of need, in dealing with this new breakup.

Studies and statistics have shown that females become more emotionally attached than guys. We are more susceptible to ‘feel’ that we have stronger feelings than we might have. Your recent break up sounds like a matter of different paths in life. lthough you both walk with God spiritually, your fleshly paths seem to be going in different directions.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to separate due to these differences. It might be easier to handle now rather than months or years from now. No matter how much we may joke about it, breaking up is hard to do. And even more, picking up the pieces and moving on is even harder.

2 Timothy 4:5
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

In the same relation of your feelings right now… the bible shows us that Paul's life and ministry was used to demonstrate to Timothy, and to other Christians who face suffering, failure and brokenness (aka all of us), the response of faith.

2 Timothy 4:16-18 tells a story of Paul’s feelings of loneliness and that death is certain. Despite his faithfulness and love, all those who had loved him and offered their support had now abandoned him -- "everyone deserted me".

2 Timothy 4:16-18
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Even with this hardship and feelings of abandonment, Paul’s triumph lies in his faith: "the Lord stood by me and gave me strength" (verse 17). Faith in the truth, beauty, and goodness of God’s word gave Paul all the companionship and consoling that he needed.

He isn't alone, abandoned, imprisoned. He's loved, saved, and soon to be made whole. He is not angry at those who dumped him; at those who betrayed him. He has no regrets or wishes for the way things were. Instead, he gives witness to his future and who his source of strength is.

Whatever the circumstance, the Lord is always by your side. Be headstrong and pray for His strength to mend you from your recent wounds. Press forward in your faith and love for our Heavenly Father and you will reap the many rewards of a true, everlasting relationship. One that is undeniable and yours forever.

I will pray for you.

Lovingly,

Saved By Faith


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