Anonymous Asked: I need advice... I have been with my boyfriend over two year and in the past I have cheated on him twice. He has never cheated on me (that I know of) but I was upset at the fact that his ex would try to ruin our relationship and how he would say a lot to defend her.
I had trust issues because of that since the beginning of our relationship. We argued a lot and I found out he was hiding pornography behind my back. I felt betrayed and didn’t know what else he was hiding from me. We would break up for a couple weeks and then get back together again.
Both of the times that I cheated was while we weren't together and with guys I didn't know. The last time I cheated on him was over a year ago and since then our relationship has improved greatly because we have chosen to live obediently for the Lord.
Although we aren't rushing into marriage I feel that our relationship is heading in that direction but I feel a heavy burden knowing what I've done.
Should I confess to my boyfriend what I did and hope he forgives me? Or is it better to just move forward. I know that I cheated out of stupidity. I was trying to live my life without God and was out partying and drinking. It's a life I no longer desire and something I want to forget.
Reply: I think that technically, since you guys weren’t together during these actions, it’s not considered cheating. But at the same time, it’s something you’ve kept secret from him. Knowing your relationship is headed towards marriage, you want to know that the both of you are entering it with an open, honest, and trustful bond, just as you want your premarital relationship to be. God does not intend for us to harbor any feelings of guilt or shame. We must be honest in all facets of our lives... honest to the Lord; honest to ourselves; honest to others.
Deuteronomy 25:13-16
13 Do not have two differing weights in your bag—one heavy, one light. 14 Do not have two differing measures in your house—one large, one small. 15 You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 16 For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.
Let your boyfriend know about the time spent while you were broken up. Considering you were not together at the time, he should be forgiving. It might be difficult for him to handle at first so please be patient.
You might also want to look into couples classes through your church. Some churches have premarital classes that help form stronger bonds, clarify the roles and responsibilities of marriage and help you better understand the commitment required for this kind of union. This will help solidify your marriage.
I will pray for the Lord to give you the words to speak to your boyfriend and for him to have a loving and forgiving heart.
With Love,
Saved By Faith
PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this Earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE
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