Anonymous said...
Why is is so hard to do the right thing, when you know what you doing is wrong. This is the second time that I'm asking for advice. And I know what I have to do but every time I make my mind up to end this friendship w/ this guy I met; I can't. I've moved to a new city and hardly know anyone. I've made some friends w/ ppl that I go to school w/ but don't really hang out w/ them outside school. I met this guy about a month back, I know he's interested in me but I'm not really interested in making him my man- just someone to hang out w/. So I've allowed him to take me around the city and we've been talking on the ph daily. I never asked him if he had a girlfriend bc I just assume he didn't. I have a diamond ring on my middle finger on my left had that my parents gave me a long time ago. And after the 2nd time he asked me if I was engaged, I asked him if he was seeing someone. He told me yes and he was engaged. I was totally confused bc I don't see how he can tell me I'm beautiful and it seems like he's spending all his time w/ me but has a fiance. But I've justify keeping the friendship w/ him bc we were just hanging out. So this wknd we went to the movies and when he took me back home, I usually give him a hug goodnight and this time the hug lasted a little longer, it was more affectionate, and he tried to kiss me- which I didn't allow to happen. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable being affectionate w/ him. But to my surprise I'm still chatting w/ him when I know I shouldn't bc I'm leaving the door open for both of us to sin. One of the post that I read today said something about not allowing the enemy to have something negative to report about ungodly behaviors. Please give me a word so I can stand firm and end this friendship. The truth is I haven't had a boyfriend in like 3 years and I miss the affection and attention that you get when a guy really likes you. I go to church, bible study, read the word, pray every night. But being here alone w/out anybody and just wishing I had that close bond has got me justifying w/ the holy spirit why I'm still even talking to this guy- when I know I shouldn't.
Beloved by Him says..
Dear sister in Christ,
You asked for a word, and you’re going to get it—the holy word of God. We’re going to walk through this together, step by step, so that you can get a real understanding of the deceptions and dangers of your situation, and the remedies that God has for them. If you’re willing to hear, believe, and act on His truth, then you can be set free from this confusion (John 8:32) and get your peace back (John 14:27). I truly hope you do, before a line is crossed and you’ve walked into bondage that is not easily broken. I know you can do it, because you’re already operating under the conviction of the Holy Spirit. That Spirit is the One of a heavenly Father and a wonderful Savior Who loves you more than you can imagine or comprehend! Go get a Bible, open to Ephesians 3, and read verses 14-21. It says that God’s love for us “passes knowledge”! You’re rooted and grounded in it! You are really, truly, unconditionally, and totally loved by God. You’d better believe it, because it’s the truth!
But your enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil, absolutely do not want you to believe it. The world wants you to be isolated, so that you don’t get the Godly fellowship and support you need (I John 2:16, Hebrews 10:25, Gal. 6:2). Your flesh is at war with your spirit, (Gal. 5:16-18), because as a Christian, you don’t have to be a slave to the sin it craves. So it’s literally hell-bent on dragging you down as much as possible until the day Jesus takes us home. And as if those two weren’t enough, the devil wants to see you eaten alive (I Peter 5:8). Wow! You must have some important God-designed plan for your life to merit all this attention! When you get through this, and you will, because God is faithful to complete the good work He began in us (Phil. 1:6), you are going to be able to reach out and pull someone else out of the fire (Jude 23).
Let’s go back, though, because I know you’re not there yet. It’s so understandable that you’re lonely, not just because you’ve moved to a new place, but because there is a yearning in your heart for the man God will bring you—your beloved. As much as you have tried to imagine what he will be like, the Lord knows you better, and has fashioned your future husband to be just perfect for you (Song of Solomon 2:3). The day will come when you can share your life with that man, a man who will love you like no one else can, because he loves you by the Spirit of God in him. Don’t try to find him on your own, though. God will bring him to you in his perfect time (Psalm 18:30).
Until then, you might need to be reminded that you are very far from alone in this world. In truth, you are already off the market! Your eternal Beloved is none other than Christ Himself (II Cor. 11:2)! Isaiah 54:5 says, “Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name.” He is the one Who will always know your deepest desires, because He gave them to you. He will always forgive and cover over your sins, because He died and rose again for you. And you will never be alone, because He will never leave you or forsake you! You are owned by Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit as the guarantee (Eph. 1:13-14). You may not always feel loved, but don’t give in to feelings that are contrary to God’s word. The truth is that you are incredibly loved--you always were, always are, and always will be (Jeremiah 31:3, I John 4:16, I Cor. 13:8).
Speaking of not giving in to feelings, it’s time to address what’s going on between you and your friend. If you take an honest look at what God says about who you are to Him and what He has planned for you, how does your relationship with your friend fit in? It doesn’t. First of all, you don’t have a real desire for him; rather, it seems like you’re allowing him to be the substitute for the fullness of relationship that you can find in the Lord, if you are willing to trust and pursue Him. Second, you don’t mention that this friend is a Christian, and you have serious concerns about his integrity. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3) You definitely shouldn’t be spending so much time with someone who doesn’t honor God or their commitments—particularly when that commitment could be an engagement to another girl! He may be breaking a promise, a vow, to love and cherish someone else. Does God want you to be a part of that? No! And he doesn’t want you to tempt this guy or yourself, either, by giving long hugs and having chatty conversations that keep the door to impurity open.
Sister, you need to close that door and run—don’t walk—in the other direction. Find a good Bible-believing church and get involved. Get an accountability partner who is strong in the Lord and who will lovingly set you straight. Most importantly, pray to your Heavenly Beloved to keep you tight in His arms, and give you His strength when you are weak (Isaiah 40:31, II Cor. 2:10). He is waiting for you to come to Him, so that He can show you how cherished you are in His sight.
Well, what are you waiting for?!? :)
But your enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil, absolutely do not want you to believe it. The world wants you to be isolated, so that you don’t get the Godly fellowship and support you need (I John 2:16, Hebrews 10:25, Gal. 6:2). Your flesh is at war with your spirit, (Gal. 5:16-18), because as a Christian, you don’t have to be a slave to the sin it craves. So it’s literally hell-bent on dragging you down as much as possible until the day Jesus takes us home. And as if those two weren’t enough, the devil wants to see you eaten alive (I Peter 5:8). Wow! You must have some important God-designed plan for your life to merit all this attention! When you get through this, and you will, because God is faithful to complete the good work He began in us (Phil. 1:6), you are going to be able to reach out and pull someone else out of the fire (Jude 23).
Let’s go back, though, because I know you’re not there yet. It’s so understandable that you’re lonely, not just because you’ve moved to a new place, but because there is a yearning in your heart for the man God will bring you—your beloved. As much as you have tried to imagine what he will be like, the Lord knows you better, and has fashioned your future husband to be just perfect for you (Song of Solomon 2:3). The day will come when you can share your life with that man, a man who will love you like no one else can, because he loves you by the Spirit of God in him. Don’t try to find him on your own, though. God will bring him to you in his perfect time (Psalm 18:30).
Until then, you might need to be reminded that you are very far from alone in this world. In truth, you are already off the market! Your eternal Beloved is none other than Christ Himself (II Cor. 11:2)! Isaiah 54:5 says, “Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name.” He is the one Who will always know your deepest desires, because He gave them to you. He will always forgive and cover over your sins, because He died and rose again for you. And you will never be alone, because He will never leave you or forsake you! You are owned by Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit as the guarantee (Eph. 1:13-14). You may not always feel loved, but don’t give in to feelings that are contrary to God’s word. The truth is that you are incredibly loved--you always were, always are, and always will be (Jeremiah 31:3, I John 4:16, I Cor. 13:8).
Speaking of not giving in to feelings, it’s time to address what’s going on between you and your friend. If you take an honest look at what God says about who you are to Him and what He has planned for you, how does your relationship with your friend fit in? It doesn’t. First of all, you don’t have a real desire for him; rather, it seems like you’re allowing him to be the substitute for the fullness of relationship that you can find in the Lord, if you are willing to trust and pursue Him. Second, you don’t mention that this friend is a Christian, and you have serious concerns about his integrity. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3) You definitely shouldn’t be spending so much time with someone who doesn’t honor God or their commitments—particularly when that commitment could be an engagement to another girl! He may be breaking a promise, a vow, to love and cherish someone else. Does God want you to be a part of that? No! And he doesn’t want you to tempt this guy or yourself, either, by giving long hugs and having chatty conversations that keep the door to impurity open.
Sister, you need to close that door and run—don’t walk—in the other direction. Find a good Bible-believing church and get involved. Get an accountability partner who is strong in the Lord and who will lovingly set you straight. Most importantly, pray to your Heavenly Beloved to keep you tight in His arms, and give you His strength when you are weak (Isaiah 40:31, II Cor. 2:10). He is waiting for you to come to Him, so that He can show you how cherished you are in His sight.
Well, what are you waiting for?!? :)
