Written by Blessed and Highly Favored
Commitment: The act of pledging, the process of or engaging oneself; entrusting as for safekeeping.
Convenience: Absence of that which annoys; personal wellbeing; that which gives ease or comfort or makes work less difficult and complicated; a condition personally favorable or suitable; advantage.
In my life, I can count on one hand many true friends I’ve had. Friends who really love me, who would be willing to do most anything for me, and who always tell me the truth despite how much it might hurt. Those people know how to make a commitment.
The term “friend” is a word thrown around a lot. “Friend” could mean a guy you’ve been dating but you don’t want your parents or other pals to start asking questions (no sense in letting the whole world know your business, right?) “Friend” could mean starting up a relationship with a girl you’ve just met. “Friend” could mean someone you’ve known for a long time, but you mainly hang out to keep from getting bored, in a casual, I’ve-got-nothing-else-to-do attitude.
Now those “friends” (the ones who keep you from being bored) will tell you what you want to hear and WILL drop you like a bad habit if something else better comes along. You don’t mean anything to them. What you are, are ACQUAINTANCES. You may have common interests, the same likes/dislikes, but the relationship never gets any deeper than surface, unimportant chatter. Sometimes we sacrifice deeper relationships for shallow ones because you can have a lot of “friends” (lots of friends=popularity, right? And we all want to be popular?) As if the greater number of people you know means they all like you? Not!
God shows us how to be friends to one another, how to have deeper friendships. One example is found in 1 Samuel 18 between Jonathon, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, and David, the second king of Israel. The relationship between Jonathon and David was one of deep respect, love and admiration. They loved each other closer than brothers. Jonathon protected David when Jonathon’s father, Saul, continually tried to kill David. However, despite Saul’s attempts, David still had reverence for Saul, not only as King, but as the father of his best friend. When Saul and Jonathon and the other sons were killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they were stripped, beheaded and fastened to a wall in Beth Shan. When David was given this news, he was in mournful agony and ordered that their bodies be removed from such desecration and be buried with dignity and respect entitled to a king and his family.
In our relationships with each other, take an inventory of your “friends;” Are they commitments or conveniences? Think about it. Do you make plans with someone, and then change them at a moments notice and always expect them to “understand because they are your friend?” Do you “forget” to include them for certain events because other people might not like them, and your association with them might not get you invited to other “cool” events? Do you plan to do something special with them, and then decide to invite others along without bothering to ask if it would be all right? Then if they said no, it’s not all right; would you get all upset and pout, and wonder what the big deal was? Do you ever so slightly shade the truth with them (lie) so that you don’t look like the bad guy? Are you spending time with them because it’s an excuse to get out of the house and go somewhere?
Sorry, you are treating those people like conveniences, under the guise of being a “friend” and going through the motions. In fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what being a friend is all about. Actually, you’re the fraud, pretending to care about someone, but treating them like a disposable diaper.
Commitment as a friend requires you think about them first, rather than yourself. To cherish them and to honor their heart. That is what binds friends together through thick and thin. You can depend on them; open your heart, and share thoughts, dreams and desires in the safety of that relationship. Honesty must be the cornerstone. To lie and deceive is about selfishness and the first blow of destruction.
Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.”
Proverbs 27:9, “Oil and perfume make glad the heart and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.”
Proverbs 27:16, “He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.”
Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so a man makes sharp his friend.”
So if you go changing the deck chairs of your personal relationships, it’s important to be gracious and congenial to people who you have moved to the outer edges of your heart. It gives them a clue that the relationship has changed and allows them the decision to continue to invest themselves in you or to be satisfied with the shift or to simply move on to other more meaningful relationships. To do otherwise is cruel and speaks volumes to your lack of character.
Allow time to cultivate friendships: They can last a lifetime if you’re willing to count them on one hand.
